#partnering aromantic

[aroaceconfessions]

I saw a post somewhere talking about “Partnering Aromatic” people (as in aromantic people who still seek out partnerships, queer platonic or traditional romantic relationships) and I honestly like the term a lot for some reason. I’m not big on labeling and I don’t really even use the aro label (I still feel the desire to be in romantic relations and can do so, the feelings just aren’t there, so it just doesn’t feel like a very accurate term), but for some reason I LOVE the idea of “Partnering” or “Non-Partnering” Aromantics. Like, it’s intentionally vague about what exactly the person feels or doesn’t feel, which I like, because I prefer to keep my exact feelings on romance to myself and people I’m close with. However, it also tells people what my actual stance on dating/no dating without getting into the nitty gritty of my feelings, which I don’t want to talk about often. Like it just tells people what they need to know about me in passing, no more no less.

Submitted April 30, 2023

[agendergenderqueermasculenbyguy]

YouTuber RSlash outlining relationship goals and carrying the burden of representing good men/good husbands not defining marriage by love or attraction but by commitment and effort.

“Marriage – The whole point of marriage is that it’s two people saying ‘hey, I’ve got your back for life; we’re partners; we’re in this together.’ And yeah, there’s gonna be times when you disagree with your partner. And conflicts between your partner and your family or their family or your friends or whatever. But the point of marriage is you’re trying to say ‘look we’re in this together so let’s figure this out together. And it’s us against the problem, it’s not me versus you.’”

– Commentary by Dabney Bailey (RSlash)

Specific video this quote is from.

Like… in my opinion this is straight up one of the most wholesome and best descriptions of what a partnership should be; I specifically copied it from the transcript because it also applies to non-romantic relationships. It’s not specific to any one type of relationship dynamic other than commitment being a factor in the partnership.

Especially since it came from a real person (or blogging persona) instead of a fictional character who was scripted. Watching multiple of RSlash’s videos around husbands, marriages, etc. it’s very obvious and very tangible he really feels strongly about what a good partner should be. How a good partner should act.

So I’d like to think this isn’t some amatonormative perspective or even allonormative perspective but simply a man saying “this is what a good, lasting, healthy committed relationship needs” and that sentiment can apply to platonic relationships as much as to romantic or sexual ones.

[a-romantic--aromantic]

Shout out to aros who experience romantic attraction.

Shout out to aros who have no idea what they’re feeling.

Shout out to aros who are completely in love.

Shout out to aros super confused by the positive feelings they get around their romantic partner.

Shout out to aros who have never felt that way before.

Shout out to aros excited for the idea of it.

Shout out to aros who aros who experience romantic attraction as fast and fleeting.

Shout out to aros who just feel happy and at peace.

[aroaceconfessions]

Seeing and being in the aspec community has really warped my perception of pda. I’m a partnering aromantic (Not gonna explain how that works bc I’m tired and I don’t owe an explanation), and after reading so much about other aspec confessions, mostly romance repulsed, talking about how it bothers them that others show affection in public, it has made me terrified that I’m bothering other people when I show the slightest hint of interest in my partner. That I need to keep the relationship unwraps so other people aren’t annoyed when I can’t control that. I can’t control what or how others feel. And I think some of us in this community need to to understand that.

I get it’s uncomfortable seeing couples being lovely-dovey with each other, but that is their life and their partner and that’s how they chose to live it and appreciate them. They are not forcing amatonormativity on you, they found something— a type of relationship— that works for them and they want to express that, and it’s perfectly fine for them to do so in public. You don’t control that, you can’t control that. Please, instead of focusing on what you don’t want to see from other people’s relationships, focus on what you want from yours.

Submitted May 6, 2023

[a-romantic--aromantic]

Some idemromantic content. You belong, and I’d never want you to be anything other than a part of our community. 

Image Descriptions:

The first 8 images are text over the idemromantic flag, which is four even stripes that is a dark grey, bright green, white, and then peachy-pink, from top to bottom.

The images read, in order:

“You are Aro Enough” “its okay not to know” “having romantic Attraction Doesn’t change your identity” “Even if its something you figure out on other things” (the first word, “even”, is underlined) “That doesn’t change who you are or your identity” “You Still Belong” “You still have a place in our community” “you’re still aro enough”

the text in each of these first 8 images is a different font for stylization, as is capitalization

-

The last image is a banner with text over the aro flag that reads “This blog uses aro as an umbrella term and prioritizes romo aros” in a cursive font, with a pink heart on either side of the text.

-

Idemromantic: distinguishing between romantic and platonic based on other factors, such as age, personality compatibility, and ease of living together.

[a-romantic--aromantic]

Some nebularomantic content. You belong, and I’d never want you to be anything other than a part of our community.

[ID:

The first 5 images are of text over the nebularomantic flag, which is seven even stripes that are dark red, red, bright red, white, bright blue, blue, and dark blue. The text is in a different font for stylization in each image, all in the middle red color.

The images read, in order:

“You are more than just a lack of knowing” “Every identity is complex”

“You are more than just a lack of knowing” “Every identity is complex” “Romantic attraction is confusing” “It’s okay if your mental health affects your identity” “You are aro enough”

The last image is a banner with text over the aro flag that reads “This blog uses aro as an umbrella term and prioritizes romo aros” in a cursive font, with a pink heart on either side of the text.

End ID]

[a-romantic--aromantic]

It’s okay to not be okay

It’s okay to be arospec. 

It’s okay to be arospec and unhappy about it. It’s okay to be hurt by the way aro communities have treated you. It’s okay to express what you want,  and its okay to be upset when people tell you that you don’t belong.

It’s okay to be pissed when alloros tell you that you don’t belong there, while aros treat you like your identity is alloro enough. That you aren’t really aro.

It’s okay to be upset when people put you down for your identity.  It’s okay to push back when people tell you you’re wrong. It’s okay to defend your terms and community.

It’s okay if you’re not always nice about it. It’s okay if you’re not always accommodating. 

You deserve to be respected.  You deserve to be understood. You deserve to be able to express your identity.

You deserve to be able to express your feelings.  Your desires. Your attraction (or lack thereof). 

It’s all yours. You deserve to belong regardless of if you’re filled with positivity or not.

Image Description: a banner that reads “this blog uses aro as an umbrella term and prioritizes romo aros” with an aro flag and 2 pink hearts, made by @eccaiia​

[a-romantic--aromantic]

Happy Little Reminder That

You are aro enough if you like romantic relationships. You are aro enough if you want romantic relationships. You are aro enough if you’re a partnering aro. You are aro enough if you’re an amorous aro. Romo aros are enough. 

You’re aro enough even if you experience some romantic attraction sometimes. If you feel you belong in the aro community, that’s okay. You are the one in charge of your own identity and you are the expert in your own experiences. 

No one can kick you out of the aro community. Know that I (platonically) love you and will kick their asses if someone tries to tell you otherwise. 

You and your identity are awesome and amazing and deserve the world.