Christmas is here, Christmas is here. Grab a friend and yank them near cuz CHRISTMAS IS HERE!!!
“Oh, you mistlhoe!”
“It’s time for GINGERBREAD HOUSE WARS!”
“It looks like a department store threw Christmas up in here.”
“That tree is huge! It’s like bigger than my student loans huge!”
“Naughty or Nice doesn’t matter you’re getting sug’a no matter what.”
“ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOOUUUUUU!”
“Eggnog, Eggnog, Eggnog!”
“Holy shit is it really that cold?” “Have you seen me? My nose is so red I could be mistaken for fucking Rudolph!”
“Are you gonna keep staring at my ass or are you gonna hand me the next ornament?”
“Where is your ugly sweater?” “I was going to wear a mirror, but I was scared it’d break upon seeing you.”
“Advent calendars are the best, the candy you get is always amazing!” “You go candy???”
“Tis’ the season to be shanking fall la la la la la. La la la!”
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good fuck.”
“It’s just sledding.” “No, it’s zooming to your death on a baking sheet is what it is!”
“Ice skating is my favorite part of winter.” “It’s cuz of the knife shoes, isn’t it?”
“We should write letters to Santa!” “What are we five?” “No, but we are in debt though.”
“If one of you decapitates Gerold the third I will shove snow down your shirt!” “It’s a snowman!” “AND?”
“What did you do to my Christmas present?” “I wrapped it.”
“You will put these reindeer antlers on.”
“Silver bells.” “This is hell”
“It’s time for a Christmas movie marathon the shitty Halmark edition!”
“You are literally the Grinch.” “I am not I just hate Christmas.” “Yes, the whole Christmas season. Now don’t as why no one quite knows the reason”. “I think it’s cuz your hearts too small.”
“Why are you wearing a dollar store Santa hat?” “Cuz am I cheap hoe hoe hoe.”
“If I don’t put mistletoe up, how am I supposed to get a kiss?”
“These lights are the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen!” “I could say the same thing about you.”
“What’s cookin good lookin?” “My Christmas ham, I think I burnt it.”
“How in the hell did you get frosting in your ear?” “Gingerbread house wars obviously.”
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. So, it better fucking snow!”
“Cuddles and snuggling by an open fire~.”
“Homemade hot chocolate is the best.”
“Santa wishes Mrs. Claus looks as good as you.”
“Did you seriously put our only scarf on the snowman?” “He was cold.”
“Why do you make cookies every day of December? “A cookie a day makes Santa have a fuller sleigh.”
“I’ve never been into older guys, but you make Santa look good.”
“Do we have to take Christmas pictures?” “It’s tradition!” “Do we really have to?”
“Snow? It’s snowing? FUCK YES. I LOVE SNOW!”
“Twas the night before Christmas.” “IT’S THREE AM GO TO SLEEP!”
“It’s Christmas Eve-eve!
“You mean you don’t have to deal with annoying relatives for Christmas?” “Yeah.” “Well, then I know where I’m going this year.”
“Tis the season to CRUSH KAREN ON BLACK FRIDAY! SUCK IT KAREN.”
