hello again! ^.^
not really about Ateez, but recently in a post (this one), you wrote the following:
Usually, likable men (and really, likability only applies to men - inquire within for more details)
and I was wondering what you meant by it? there were a couple of ways I interpreted it, but I am not entirely sure so I thought I'd just ask.
[on another note (sort of related) which of the feminist works that you have read would you say were most impactful to you? I'm curious as I've been wanting to read more feminist theory.]
The publisher summary reads:
Women are stuck in an impossible bind. At work, strong women are criticized for being cold, and warm women are seen as pushovers. An award-winning journalist examines this fundamental paradox and empowers readers to let go of old rules and reimagine leadership rather than reinventing themselves.
Consider that even competent women must appear likeable to successfully negotiate a salary, ask for a promotion, or take credit for a job well done―and that studies show these actions usually make them less likeable. And this minefield is doubly loaded when likeability intersects with race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and parental status.
This book,The Likeability Trap by Alicia Menendez is really important to me, because it came at the right time in my life. My boss (male, significantly older) at the time kept dragging me into 'conferences' to have 'consult's about my 'work performance' and thanks to this book I realized he kept saying that he didn't like me and that other men didn't like me either and that's all he was conveying. This book freed me from being manipulated by this person, and to lean fully into my competence and insane (autistic) capacity for frightening (to normies) amounts of hyperfocused productivity. I am still disliked, as far as I know, and I've reason to believe that I am also now feared, but I don't give a shit, and I've never been swayed or influenced by someone going, essentially, I don't like that you're here, Woman I Can't Dismiss, ever since. I also love my job and enjoy my career, by the way, and I've always also gotten good evaluations.
Other books I consider essential reading, in English:
Are Women Human?: And Other International Dialogues by Catharine A. MacKinnon (This is pretty dense but it will reorganize your whole brain if you work through it. I'm a huge fan of MacKinnon.)
Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women by Susan Faludi
Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde (I recommend the entire works of Audre Lorde, all of them - every poem, every essay, every book)
My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem
Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men - If you only read one of these books, THIS IS THE ONE TO READ.
A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
On Liberty and the Subjection of Women by John Stuart Mill (the only worthwhile white male philosopher to ever exist)
The collected poems of Nikki Giovanni
