Personality type inventories at work
So yeah, the fellowship announced in a staff meeting today that they want to make a personality or strengths finder inventory available to staff in the near future, and that it could be a tool to “support work-place culture” and “help us get to know each other.”
I know how I come out in personality inventory type things- I show my stodgy side, which I’m fine with mostly... I want people to see me as slow and cautious because not being seen this way has not been safe or comfortable for me; I craft that image somewhat intentionally. But I’m also very aware that these were not my dominant personality traits in childhood, that they have become dominant in my interactions with others because of my experiences, and that explaining that I have the different traits inside me and that they have some degree of independence is probably not something others would understand. So I hope I can complicate the notion of personality inventories by saying that I question their validity because people have all the personality traits inside them and “switch” between modes.
I think people would relate to the idea of work and home self being different (and one of the inventories says it’s specific to work self and doesn’t translate to a person globally), and maybe it could even lead to an illuminating conversation for me about how non-dissociative people experience themselves. I mean I could also just say that the idea of a personality inventory confuses me because we all have all the different traits within us and toggle between modes. That is how I experience myself and I really don’t understand that others don’t experience this. So yeah, it could be an interesting conversation. I think it is one in which I would come off as MORE stodgy, or one in which I would come off as having perspectives into life and others that are “inaccessible” but valuable to others, because they are so “unique”. I don’t know if others would pick up on any of this being “dissociative” though.
I feel confident enough that people don’t know anything about dissociation to “discover” me that I think I could even say that I switch between mindsets, can’t always control this, and have a harder time accessing information between different “states,” and that I could paint this as “normal” and others would accept it as such. Yes, it is defensive. It is also how I tend to think of myself and possibly something that could lead to an interesting conversation. It has larger ethical implications to mull over. I don’t see myself as dissociative but know that technically I am. If it weren’t for the last few years, none of this would be accessible to me and I really would think my experiences are par for the course (I still do even after an OSDD diagnosis). Knowing what I know cognitively though, I do have to question if it is ethical for me to paint my experiences as “normal” even though that is how I think of them and I really would like to sit non-dissociative people down and try to figure out how they see themselves and where the metaphors of multiplicity come from.
I suppose I could always just ask and maybe share my experiences without ascribing normality or not to it. I could even say that others have told me this is unusual and that I am genuinely confused about it, which would all be very true.
