#phan thoughts

[dominichatake]

Why does Dan sit like this on every episode of the phodcast after saying the most diabolical sentence known to phankind

[delicatetigerobject]

i know that its very rude to speculate on their private lives. HOWEVER......

i do think that this conversation has definitely been had between them.

[asforthesoundtrack]

so i know we knew this already but god. phil really did break dan's walls down in 2009, didn't he?

and it's like. he wasn't even expecting to do so. yes, he had so much love to give and was desperate to find someone, but i don't think he ever expected to find his forever person at just 22. and yet somehow this cute emo boy in his twitter replies who loved muse and final fantasy as much as he did had burrowed his way into phil's heart.

and all of a sudden, dan was phil's entire world. he wanted to know everything that made dan who he is. for their first christmas together, he got dan a plushie from their shared favorite video game. he got another creator kicked off of the jamaica trip so dan could come with him. he convinced the bbc to let dan host the radio show with him. he's shouted his love for all of dan's solo projects from the rooftops because he knows dan puts his entire heart and soul into everything he does, and phil happens to love dan's heart and soul more than anything. he became the safe space dan so desperately needed and opened him up to a world of happiness he never could have imagined for himself at 15.

and in return, phil's gotten to watch dan grow into the incredible person he is today. yet he's still loved every iteration of dan. what a gift it must be to be known so deeply and loved through it all. i can only hope they know how lucky they are to have each other.

[meraki-yao]

I was re-reading TABINOF and literally noticed this for the first fucking time

Remember the woman character, Jessica, from the skits in Dan's older videos?

This is the last paragraph from her self-intro in TABINOF

"She'll send me to a nun place"

And then in the "The Internet is mean" video, we see, for the first time, the character that later evolves into sister daniel

but in the original video, she's "Sister Jessica"

She's only know as Sister Daniel because Phil spoiled it and the audience had no context and just went with Dan's own name!

So in conclusion:

THESE TWO ARE ULTIMATELY THE SAME CHARACTER

what the fuck?! Is this common knowledge and I'm just the last one to realize it? I feel like my mind has been blown, am I overreacting? What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

[imnotinclinedtomaturity]

some thoughts on dan howell absolutely serving

it's not the skirt or the croptop or the garters.

i mean it is, it obviously is, but it's a lot more than that.

it's the energy he has? the sheer joy at watching the skirt swish on camera, the way he kept checking himself out, the way he arched his back and looked up through his eyelashes and hit all of his poses with a different layer of sass than he normally has.

and sure, a portion of it was probably performing the femboy persona. it's a video, i'm under no delusions that we're getting 100% authenticity without any level of performance. the walls are shattered, but they're not totally gone.

but it wasn't all performance. because it was also the way he couldn't stop smiling the entire video, the way he was free and happy and giggly. dan has been working towards embracing ~traditionally feminine~ things on occasion for years. from the outside, it's seemed to have been a part of his queer journey (in a way it hasn't been for phil, which is probably why i'm not hyperfixated on phil in this vid)

and like, whatever the reason is — whether it's a rejection of toxic masculinity, a rebellion against committing to a specific gender expression 24/7, a lil bit of a kink for femboys, a dash of genderspiciness, whatever — wearing that outfit felt good for dan. he might have been performing in that video, but i'm p sure we've seen him perform happiness before and that wasn't it babes.

but yeah, that's why i'm so fixated on and changed by the phalloween baking video. it's not that i want dan to be trans or a femboy 24/7 or make this persona permanent (tho i love u queen, i'll love you whoever you decide to be). i project a lot on dan, but not in that way.

what's got me absolutely feral, unable to stop thinking about anything else is the unadulterated queer joy of living proudly and happily and loudly, of stomping on stupid binaries and wearing whatever you want to wear for whatever reason you want to wear it, of being a little camp and a little silly and a lot authentic.

the skirt and the croptop and the garters look good on dan, but not (just) because they look good on his body. they look good on dan because of the queer joy he radiated while being in them. they look good on dan because they look good on dan — dan the entire human, dan the person inside and out.

[manchestereyes]

imagine dnp getting off the bus from manchester and walking up that hill with their arms around each other for warmth 🥺🥺🥺

[cozydnp-archive]

not to be that person but....wine tasting??? wedding planning???

you have put a thought into my head and now I don’t know how to get it out

[aeriel-milk]

thought:

phil running at dan, who's holding the camera, while wearing nicolas cage pants. he jumps on dan's lap, causing dan to go "shit, you're heavy" and then pull him close for a hug. the camera gets set down on the couch next to them, forgotten, as they take a cuddle break