just thinking about how tony has always worn a suit of armor and how it hasn't just been the flashy gold, silver, and red suit we all love.
it's been the suit of pride, arrogance, and ingenious. the suit of seduction, where he plays himself up as desirable, because what is he outside of that? outside of being a ladies man, a playboy, fawned over by moms and their daughters? who is tony stark if not loved because of how untouchable he has made himself—if not a far-off figure haunting the narrative? if not on the title of a news article expressing disdain for his arrogance?
tony has worn a suit of himself, built up by every theatrical part of him that he has displayed to the world year after year. he wears a suit of creation where he makes new incredible things because he feels he cannot make himself new. he cannot change his past, he cannot change his grief, he cannot change himself, so he changes the world.
tony has spent his entire life looking at his reflection in the still water, that he is petrified when it ripples. his face distorted by the wavelets, he realizes that he pretended to be invincible for so long that he didn't even think he was pretending anymore. tony truly believed he was invincible. he was on top of the world, nothing could hurt him! nothing has ever hurt him! his father's abuse was like dull darts against a brick wall—it hardly touched him. and even if it did scuff, it only made him better, right? just rub some plaster over the nicks in the cinder, it doesn't matter if something breaks when you can fix it. and of course tony can fix it, he's a genius! he's a billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. he's a GENIUS. he's THE genius. he's the prodigal son of stark industries. he's invincible.
after years of smearing plaster over cracks and chunks taken out of the thick brick wall he built with his own two hands, it crumbles to the ground.
and tony—the fixer—cannot fix the one thing that needs fixing most in his life.
