Lawyer told me there is nothing left that can be done.
Not that I deserve any freedom.
This time justice has won.
I did a lot of things to end up on the table with tubes stuck in my arm. Poison in the veins. Heartbeat slowing. Blood losing its warmth.
I wish I could take back the hurt that I caused. Not only to the victims and their families, but to my love. To my mom. I hope they know I die with regrets. I wish I had, but I didn't do my best.
The guards are coming to get me. I've already had my last meal. I requested jello and milk. More than I deserved. They say karma comes to get you, but heading into the darkness seems to be more of an escape rather than punishment.
The headrest is cold against my hot neck. Im nervous now. Cold sweat covers my chest. The priest has said my final goodbyes. He asked Jesus for my salvation. If there is divine justice, I'll burn for eternity. I shouldn't survive.
The doctor has given me the dosage now. I can feel the fluid enter into my arm. My eyes close. My mind enters into a space of solitude. Darkness. No light.
I can feel my heart beat slowly off in the distance. The pace drops rapidly, and then it is gone.
As I drift, I see the stars I remember from when I was young. A sky full of tears calling me on.
I'm going to let go now. It's the only choice you really have when you die on death row. I don't know where I'm going, if anywhere. I hope I can move on.
Maybe if I get another chance I'll be who I always wished I was. Be a better person. Make a difference in goodness.
Be who the world deserves.
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