#poor alfred

[yaybatman]

We do not talk about this ENOUGH

Batman: Haunted Knight

[h34dinthecl0uds]

IM FINALLY BACK AFTER MY DISAPPEARANCE AND I COME BEARING GIFTS!

Reasons why Alfred pennyworths blood pressure is too high pt 1:

Alfred: *walking towards the kitchen after mopping all the hallways*

Alfred the cat + Damian, running past: sorry Alfred!

Alfred, startled: Good lord, master Damian! Don’t run in the house, I just mopped!

Damian, distantly: apologies!

Alfred: *sighs* *steps forward*

*titus, batcow, jerry the turkey and Goliath all run infront of him*

Alfred, almost tripping: JESUS-

Alfred: *looks at the now muddy-footprint-covered floor. Yes, the one he just mopped.*

Alfred: …

Alfred: i need a cup of tea. And a holiday.

————————————————

I WANTED TO START THIS SERIES FOR SO LONG BUT I LOWKEYE HAD WRITERS BLOCK BUT I FINISHED IT YAYAYAYAYAY

[mylifeingotham]

Rewatching Gotham at the moment and Alfred is just so tortured by young Bruce

Alfred: Get off the roof, how many times have I told you to stop doing that??

Bruce: 😞

Commissioner Gordon: 😳

~

Alfred: Bruce just eat your food please

Bruce holding a newspaper: Anyways

~

Alfred: Where the heck did you get the files from your parents murder??

Bruce: It was pretty easy

[js-tlk-art]

The awkward silence was so loud.

Iseult really said "louder for the people in the back".

[freegiftjones]

omg they tested the mk ultra on ALFRED? Do you think those files are somewhere? would that come up too with the lobotomy? not even alfred would know! the onu guys would be like yeah so we found some files about you before the lobotomy, and apparently they performed some MK ULTRA experiments on you before the procedure, while alfred, who had no idea, would be like WHAT.

that's absolutely insane, I was just joking 💀

You bring up a good point that he might not remember it but he does eventually because he mentions it 3 times in the fic (overshadowed by the lobotomy I guess). Like yeah since it was done during the days before the procedure he might not fully comprehend what happened or why it was done. But then when info about mkultra came out some decades later I believe he’d have to put together what happened. And that’s really sad. Guys why is the lore of this fic series so damn sad all the time.

We know that there isn’t any real record of the lobotomy (other than that letter Matt has and any notes the gov has on it) or what happened after it because the hospital was shut down and the files were lost. But the government would have been the ones administering this test so there probably are classified files somewhere about it. Maybe that’s even how Alfred found out—he was reading the document about it when it was revealed to the public and he finds mentioning of a test subject in a similar situation to him. God how horrifying is that

Anywho. The lobotomy was the last resort after his other “treatment” failed and they wanted to do the testing before that just to get info out of him in case the lobotomy didn’t “go well”. So the government came to do it after he’d been there for a month, and Alfred would have thought that was he was getting to go home when he saw them. And we all know that’s not what happened.

[amanitaproxima]

“Please step out of the dinosaur’s… buttocks”

Supersons (2017)

[ravenclawshermione]

headcanon

Sometimes Steph and/or Jason will make poor kid foods and everyone else will get very judgmental or very awkward. Like that time that Steph made a tuna quesadilla, or when Jason made a butter sandwich.

[amevdw]