Down In the Forest
Summary: Dan Howell is the heir to the throne in his kingdom, due to marry and take the seat within the year. However, he doesn't want that. Running away to the clearing outside of his kingdom every night, he meets Phil, who is from a neighboring kingdom. As Dan develops feelings for Phil, he realizes that his crush on Phil is actually problematic in more ways than one.
Word Count: 6.8k
Warnings: Vampire!Dan
**Read on Ao3**
A/N: This is my second fic written for the @phandomreversebang! It was based on the prompt by @2easy2hate which was essentially a royal vampire!dan au which I thought was super interesting to try and do! My beta for this fic was @hiddenpastry and they were so helpful and encouraging with my procrastination haha I have plans to release an epilogue in the next few weeks where it'll have a glimpse into the future which Val and I agreed will help to tie up whatever may be 'loose' at this end of this one shot.
The forest was a sacred place for Dan Howell. He wasn’t exactly sure why he felt so calm being here, but he did. The sound of the leaves bristling in the wind and the distance chirps of birds were calming. He was used to coming here as soon as he was done with his studies for the day, after the sun had set and no harm would be done to his sensitive skin.
Today was no different for him. Notebook in hand, and bag slung across his body, he trudged through the grass, past the trees, to the small clearing where he took refuge from the day. He chose this place when he was just a child, after fighting with his parents over his obligations.
His first lesson of the day was writing, then it was history, and finally it was his lessons on moral obligations as the heir of his kingdom. He had a list of rules he had to have memorized before he became heir on his 18th birthday...less than a year away. It was a rule in their kingdom that the eldest son takes over as soon as they turn 18 years of age. It was also a rule that 6 months before they take the throne, they need to be married...but Dan didn’t want to think of that. Especially when his first “party” to find his future wife was in less than a week.
That’s partly why Dan ran away at night, after he was dismissed by his teachers. He enjoyed coming here where he could write in his notebook and get immersed in his own little world, where none of this existed and he could be a normal teenager. Not the heir to the most successful kingdom in modern history.
Dan sat down on the grass, leaning back and resting against the tree behind him. He propped his legs up and opened his bag against his side, taking out his notebook. It was getting well-worn, well-used. But that didn’t bother Dan. Not as he opened to the halfway point of the pages and went back to the story he was writing.
He’ll remain here until his hunger gets the better of him, and he’ll have to go back to his kingdom, back to his castle, to feed.
Because that’s one of the rules of the Vaedian Kingdom: you never feed in public.
It’s not uncommon for the people living around the kingdom to know that the Howells had unusual habits. That’s what they say anyway. Dan didn’t realize he was different until he was taught about it...about his immortal abilities.
Maybe as a child, Dan should have known that when his hunger reached a peak, it wasn’t normal to suddenly have glowing red eyes or sharp teeth that jutted out of his gums. But to his family, it was normal. His entire family was this way, so there was no reason for Dan to be any different.
At the thought of food, his stomach grumbles and Dan ignores it, instead he looks down at his notebook and rereads over the last line he had written down. He doesn’t even know what this story is anymore. It’s more like a stream of consciousness, a way for him to gather his thoughts about his ever changing life as he grows older.
He reaches into his bag and pulls out his pen and begins to scribble down the next parts of his story. He lets his hand and his mind interconnect and even just writes until he can’t anymore.
The moonlight is coming down on him, brighter than it was before. The stars in the sky are illuminating everything around him and he supposes that this is the time he should start heading back.
He packs up his notebook and his pen and slowly stands up, stretching from sitting down so long in such a cramped position. He adjusts his clothing and his bag against his hip and begins the short journey back home, where he’ll have a snack and then go lay down in his bed chamber.
***
“Prince Daniel, you were out late last night?”
Dan looks up from his school work to his servant Johnathon in front of him. He’s got a drink in his hand, and he’s setting it in front of Dan. The dark maroon color is enough to make Dan’s stomach swoon at the thought of indulging in it’s glorious taste. He takes the glass and picks it up, taking a long sip and letting the copper taste sit on his tongue.
“If I may ask, your highness, but what do you partake in when you go out at night after your studies?”
“I go to the clearing and write in my notebook,” Dan answers honestly. He can trust Johnathon. He’s been the family servant for literally hundreds of years and he remains as loyal and as faithful to the Howell family and the Vaedian Kingdom as they come.
“What are you writing about?” Johnston asks, “Practicing your writing skills for when you have to make ceremonial statements?”
Dan shakes his head and takes another sip, “I just write.”
“Stories?”
“Sort of,” Dan replies.
He finishes the last of the drink from the glass and sets it back down. Johnathon picks up the glass out of habit. Dan goes back to his school work, finishing up his copying of the 15 Moral Obligations of Vaedian. He only has one through 4 memorized, and he knows his teacher is going to be after him about it today. He’s trying to memorize as many as he can but the problem is that they are so pointless and boring that Dan really can’t find the will to actually give a damn about any of them.
But if he told this to his teacher, or to his father, he would be immediately cast as being traitorous to the kingdom by being the heir and not adhering to the basic standards.
They’ve been around for millennia and Dan frankly just feels like they’re outdated. Maybe when he’s king he can rewrite some of them. But he doesn’t even know if that’s allowed. Somehow he feels like that is even more frowned upon.
“Your brow is furrowed,” Johnathon says suddenly, pointing to the space between Dan’s eyebrows. “Keep doing that and you’ll no longer be a young prince, but you’ll look older than your father.”
Dan lets out a laugh and Johnathon smiles back before turning on his heels and heading out of the living chamber towards the kitchen.
Speaking of his father, Dan knows he has a meeting with him soon about the party where he’ll be meeting his potential wife. But he really is dreading the entire thing, if he’s being honest. He doesn’t want to go through with any that, and for a multitude of reasonings...all of which are frowned upon.
The clock on the mantel suddenly chimes that it’s one and Dan gathers his belongings and stuffs them into his bag before flinging it over his shoulder. He makes his way to the library where his studies will begin soon and he tries to ignore that heaviness in his feet.
Dan has his meeting with his father following his school time, but he wasn’t entirely shocked by that. He knew it was coming when Johnathon found him in the library and told him he needed to report to his father's office as soon as he was done.
It’s even less shocking that when Dan gets there, his father immediately presents him with a series of photos of the various daughters from the neighboring kingdoms and begins to talk to Dan about how he needs to decide on what one he wants to pursue.
Naturally, none of the girls appealed to Dan. But yet again, none of them were going to anyway when he had a natural inclination to prefer men instead. But somehow, he still found himself being bound by the outdated rules of the kingdom and he pointed to the picture of a brunette girl who’s name was written as “Julianna” underneath. His father seemed to like that choice and waved him off as being able to leave now.
So Dan did, back to the clearing where he always went.
He double checked before he left that his notebook was still in his bag and he grabbed a few extra pens as the ink in the one from the night before seemed to be dulling. He intended to spend as long as possible out in his clearing without any disturbance from any of his obligations.
As he passed by the last set of trees and started to walk into the clearing, he immediately stopped in his tracks at the sight of another person that already had beat him there.
His first reaction was to get angry, because this was his secret spot and how dare a person find it without Dan’s permission. He wanted this spot all to himself with no one else here.
But as the future heir, he knew deep down that he couldn’t act that way. And instead when the male looked up, Dan just met his eyes as a look of shock overcame them both.
“I’m sorry,” Dan begins, “but how did you find this place?”
The male set down his notebook in front of him and Dan looked down long enough to notice it was a drawing of a flower. The male was here to draw just like Dan was here to write.
“I just went wandering in the forest and I happened to see this clearing,” The male says. “I didn’t intend for anyone to know about this.”
“Are you drawing?”
The male picks up his notebook, almost like he’s self-conscious about Dan calling him out, and nods, “I don’t have a space to draw without being distracted and being here has been working wonders to ease my block.”
“So you don’t mind that I join you as you draw?” Dan asks.
The male shakes his head, “No, not at all.”
Dan walks into the space and sits down on the opposite side from the man. He takes out his notebook and flips open the pages to where he left off. He fishes in his bag for a pen and pulls it out, uncapping it with his teeth. When he gets ready to write, the voice from the other side interrupts him, “Can I get your name?”
If Dan had a beating heart, he was sure it would suddenly begin to beat fast. But because he doesn't, he was instead subjected to just an overwhelming feeling of anxiety as he thought about the idea of this man knowing who he might be.
It was common for the commoners around them in their kingdom to know the royal family, and to know their names. But it was uncommon for them to know what the royal family looked like. The only time the royal family opened the castle walls was for the lavish parties and the crowning ceremonies.
By the time those events happen, most people don’t even remember what they looked like because they’ve changed. In reality, the royal family is immortal, but their aging is a different story.
“My name is Daniel,” he finally says.
“I’m Philip,” the man introduces himself, “but I prefer to be called Phil.”
Dan smiles. “Then you can call me Dan.”
Phil smiles back at him and Dan feels something that’s akin to a blush.
They mostly sit in silence, both of them working on their own art before Phil yawns and stands up and announces he should head back home. When Dan goes to say goodbye, Phil makes the sudden announcement that they should walk home together to the village.
Dan doesn’t want to tell Phil about him just yet, and so he quickly says he’s going to stay for awhile and they can walk back together another time. At the mention of another time, Phil smiles and asks, “So you’re going to be here again?”
Dan just nods and says, “I come here every night.”
Dan eventually does make his way back, and it’s even later tonight than it was the night before. When he passes through the castle gates and makes his way inside, he’s greeted by Johnathon who gives him another glass of that delicious red liquid. He takes it with him to his bed chambers and sips it through the night.
Dan technically doesn’t need to sleep. He doesn’t feel tired, he just feels lethargic if he’s used too much of his energy. So after he finishes his glass, and sets it in the hallway for Johnathon to grab when he makes his midnight rounds, Dan just lays in bed and closes his eyes.
Sometimes that’s all he needs to feel anything until the sun comes through his curtains and he has to retreat to the living chamber where he works on his studies until his schooling time comes.
***
His mum stops him the next morning after Dan gets up from his bed. She tells him that they have to talk about his party and Dan reluctantly agrees to follow her to her office where she has plans laid out about every detail.
“We’ll bring in the finest pastry chefs to the kingdom for you,” she begins. “All of the cakes that you can think of will be there.”
“How many people are coming?” Dan asks.
“Well, we’re not opening the grand hall up for nothing, my dear Daniel,” she scolds. “So your father sent special invites to all of the kingdoms around us, with a select few going to some families in the village.”
“We’re allowing villagers to the party?” Dan asks, because he’s truly astounded by this fact.
“Of course!” his mother says. “Commoners are always invited to the parties where the heir finds his wife. It’s a status symbol that you should have learnt about in your lessons. Do I need to have a word with Lady Mallory about your studies?”
Dan shakes his head and immediately refuses the proposition, “No, there is no need.”
His mum gives him a stern look and goes back to discussing the plans.
Dan has to admit that parties in the grand hall are few and far between. He actually only believes that his family has only ever had one party there in his lifetime. Other than that, it remains closed to everyone, including them.
By the end of the meeting, Dan’s proper exhausted and even though he has to go to his studies, he would rather retreat to his bedchamber where he can sit and wait for the sun to go down so he can head to the clearing and meet up with Phil again.
Dan doesn’t even know why his mind immediately goes to meeting up with Phil. He’s only met the guy once and even if they did seem to get on rather quickly, there shouldn’t be a reason for Dan wanting to be with him so quickly again.
But yet, he finds his mind wandering to Phil and his raven locks and blue eyes instead. Lady Mallory calls him out on his distractedness but Dan brushes it off as just being a rough day, not because he was daydreaming about another man.
When the lessons are over, Dan doesn't immediately leave to go to the clearing. He goes to the kitchen first and grabs a snack to hold him over. Johnathon hands him a blood cake when he gets there, and Dan immediately partakes in eating it despite the bitter taste it leaves on his tongue.
The blood is getting old now, a bit stale. Dan can tell right away. The taste is nowhere near that fresh copper taste that he loves so much. The grimace that he gives off is enough for Johnathon to speak up, “They’re going on a fresh hunt tonight, my lord. You’ll have new nutrients tomorrow.”
Dan just nods and finishes the rest of his cake before asking for a glass as well and gulping it down.
The sun is way past set when he makes his way to the clearing with his bag slung across his body. He’s half expecting for Phil to not be there, because for mortals, this is late at night. For Dan, it’s really just a beginning for him.
But he still feels a spark of happiness when he moves into the clearing and sees Phil sat in the same position he was in the night before. He’s concentrating hard in his sketchbook, busy working on another piece that Dan is actually a bit curious to see.
Phil looks up and greets him before he can sit down. When Dan finally does settle down, he chooses a spot beside Phil because he’s feeling a bit better about having him here with Dan in the clearing. In a way, it’s making everything feel less lonely even though Dan used to come here for the sole fact that he wanted to be alone, away from everything.
“Dan,” Phil says out of the blue, “have you ever been to a party at the castle?”
Dan suddenly picks his head up, nervous about actually answering the question because he’s afraid he’ll give too much away, “No, I haven’t. Why do you ask?”
“I’m from another kingdom...Vargaria, and not even supposed to be here. But my father was naturally invited to the royal party. While I’ve attended some of the royal parties my father has hosted, I don’t know what it’ll be like to attend the party at this kingdom. If my father knew I was here, he would more than likely disown me.”
Dan suddenly doesn’t like that. He doesn't like knowing Phil is going to be attending the party and seeing him pick his future wife that he doesn't even want, nor love. Furthermore, he doesn’t know how to feel at the thought of Phil admitting to him that he was from a neighboring kingdom, especially Vargaria. Dan knew firsthand that Vargaria and Vaedian have very tense relations.
Everything about this almost feels wrong, like they’re breaching a line of boundaries in their newly found acquaintanceship that shouldn’t be breached.
“What do you think it’s going to be like?” Phil suddenly adds, not letting Dan say anything in regards to his previous admission.
“I’m assuming lavish,” Dan says. “Lots of people, decorations. Fancy dresses and food.”
“Did your family get invited as well?” Phil asks.
Dan doesn’t know how to answer that. Because if he says no, that’s an obvious lie but if he says yes, then how does he handle the situation without giving anything about himself away?
“I don't think so,” he says, immediately feeling regret cloud his mind.
“Oh that’s a shame,” Phil says. “Would have been nice to at least know one person who is there. I feel like I’m going to be horribly out of place.”
“I will be too,” Dan mumbles.
Phil looks up. “What was that?”
Dan stiffens. “I said I would be too.”
Phil just nods and gives him a sympathetic look and goes back to his drawing in silence.
They don’t say much else, which Dan finds fine because the conversation took a turn anyway and he feels it might be rather awkward to continue it and also keep his identity intact.
When Dan returns back to his bed chambers that night, all he can think about is how he shouldn’t have any further contact with Phil. By rule, they’re supposed to remain civil with their relations with each other from the neighboring kingdoms but Dan still knows that this casual of a relationship is frowned upon.
Sitting at his desk and looking out of his window towards the valley and village beneath them, he sighed. Technically speaking, Phil is meant to be an enemy to him. He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t even be looking forward to meeting up with him in the clearing any further.
Nothing of this sort can happen any more. Dan’s putting a stop to it now.
But then that means that Dan will have to give up his writing spot and that thought makes him a bit sad. He can always find a new one, he supposes. But it won’t be the same.
So Dan doesn’t return to the clearing for 3 full nights. He instead remains home and sits at his desk, unbothered with the window open, and tries to write there instead. He doesn’t get nearly as far in his story as he did when he was in the clearing, but he can’t afford to go there anymore.
It’s not until a final meeting with his father finally snaps him that he decides to go back there, needing and wanting to just get away and put an ending to all of this. He doesn’t want any of this. He wants to remain unbothered. He doesn’t want a lavish party. He doesn’t want to be married. And furthermore, he doesn’t want to be king!
When he gets to the clearing, running as fast as he can, he’s met immediately by Phil, whose expression was less than welcoming. “Why did you lie to me?”
“Lie to you about what?” Dan asks.
“You’re Prince Daniel,” Phil says, “Heir to the Vaedian throne and it’s your party that I’m attending this weekend.”
Dan opens and closes his mouth a few times, “How did you find out?”
Phil turns his head, “My father has warned us about you,” he spits out. “Your kingdom is built on a throne of lies.”
“And I don’t suppose yours isn’t?” Dan snaps back.
“I made a mistake befriending you,” Phil snarls. “My father warned me of you from a young age and I feel half-dumb that I didn’t see through you in the first place.”
Dan doesn’t know what to say or how to react. He’s never been in an altercation like this before and it’s frankly extremely unnerving.
“You can’t even speak for yourself,” Phil says, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I don’t have anything to say to you,” Dan spits back. “The kingdoms of Vargaria and Vaedian have always been tense. I should have known from the first mention of your kingdom that this was nothing but trouble.”
“That’s tough speak for someone who intends to marry my sister,” Phil presses. “I was told today that you’re planning on marrying Julianna.”
Dan’s memory snaps back to the name of the kingdom on the bottom of the picture of Julianna and he suddenly feels a bit ill. He didn’t even know that’s what he’d chosen but maybe that’s why his father had seemed so pleased with himself.
“You’re not marrying her, and our kingdoms are not going to be united by the bloody hands of you.”
With that, Phil turned on his heels and walked away, leaving Dan feeling anger beyond anything that he has ever felt before.
How could he ever think that Phil was ever a decent person? Surely his first mistake was trusting a stranger anyway.
When Dan walks back to the castle that night, he feels an overwhelming sense of dread, and he finds himself resting in bed the entirety of the following day.
***
“The party is in two days, Daniel, and you’ve hardly done anything in preparation for it.”
Dan looked down at his notebook that was poised open in front of him to avoid the unwavering gaze of his mother as she hounded him about this. He didn’t want to go through this lecture again. It’s one that he’s gone through three separate times now over the past day.
“I wasn’t aware I had any preparations to do,” Dan snapped back.
His mother rolled her eyes and tossed up her hands, almost in defeat. “Well, have you ever sent a letter to Julianna of Vargaria?” She asked. “The kingdom has sent a letter on your behalf but you should have known to send the letter yourself as well.”
“I wasn’t aware of that.”
“Good Lord, Daniel! What has gotten into you?” His mother finally snapped. “We have been preparing for this day for almost 18 years and you’re about to ruin it all. I don’t understand where your attitude has gone these past few years. You’ve turned into a snub-nosed little brat!”
Dan flinched at the insult, trying to not let it get to him. So many thoughts ran through his head. Like how his parents lied to him for so many years. How they never actually cared about him, just about their kingdom and its reputation. About how they hid who he really was until he was old enough to realize that he’s been born into a kingdom of vampires amongst humans.
Finally, with the tip of his tongue clicking against the back of his teeth, he spits out, “I don’t want to marry and I don’t want the throne.”
He slams his notebook shut and gets up to leave when the feeling of her hand on his wrist in a tight grip stops him. He whips his head back, staring at her aggravated expression.
“You’re not leaving right now,” she says.
“I have nothing more to say right now,” Dan says back, trying to remain calm but his demeanor failing quickly.
She lets him go and he quickly rushes out of her office, ignoring how deafening the silence from her was to his ears when he heard no more cries of protest leave her.
His eyes gathered with tears and he fought to keep them back as he desperately wished more than ever that he was never born into this life. He should have never been born as a royal and he should have never been born immortal. He would have much rather loved to have been a commoner who receives one life and then gets spared the rest of eternity.
Before he knows it, he’s ran back to his secret clearing. Dan stood there, his chest heaving and his eyes watering heavier as he lost his battle and unleashed the sobs that wracked his frame.
“Oh what does the prince of bloodsuckers have to cry about today?”
Dan picks up his head and sees Phil sitting there, drawing away in his sketchbook again. Dan honestly wishes he would have never encountered him again but it’s clear that luck did not work in his way.
“Don’t you have somewhere else to go?” Dan asks. “Somewhere maybe in your own kingdom?”
Phil just shrugs and looks back down at his sketchbook, “It’s easier to be here than it is to be back home.”
Dan sits down on the grass and wipes away the wetness from his cheeks. He should be embarrassed crying this much over something as stupid as the mention of the rest of his life. He should feel embarrassed for the fact that he was crying in front Phil after what had just happened between them.
But another part of him just doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t care about any of this. He wants everything to just cease around him and end but it’s never that simple. It’ll never be that simple as long as Dan is immortal and the world around them still passes like normal.
“Why were you so nice to me when we first met?” Dan finds himself asking.
Phil shrugs again and doesn’t speak.
“What made you change when you found out who I was?”
The curiosity was getting to Dan, not just because this was Phil, but because his mother's words were still eating away at his core but he also felt like maybe it was a bit rebellious to speak to the kingdom he’s supposed to be marrying someone from.
Phil looks up and Dan sees his expression quickly change from hardened to confusion. He blinks a few times and then finally speaks, “Does it really matter?”
Dan wipes the remaining wetness from his cheeks and shrugs because no, it really doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to know. He does want to know why in a way.
“So what are you drawing today?” Dan asks.
Phil turns the sketchbook around and shows him an array of flowers and trees. It’s actually really beautiful. But Dan doesn’t want to stroke his ego and tell him so after their outbursts.
They sit in silence for a while, and eventually Phil leaves without saying a word. Dan supposes that wasn’t all that painful. In a way, he did see Phil as a sort of new friend when everything was just beginning with them. So for him to be seen that way again in a new light wasn’t all that bad.
His stomach is rumbling by the time he finally gets up to make his way back home. He’s feeling a bit lethargic, and his skin a bit inflamed. And it’s only when he’s back in the castle and he falls to his knees while Johnathon grabs him, that he realizes he was just in the sun for a little bit with nothing to eat.
In that respect, he almost got his wish that everything would just end.
***
It’s the morning of the party and Dan wants nothing more than to leave and run away. He doesn’t want to make an appearance in front of everyone while he meets Julianna for the first time. He still only has a vague knowledge of what she looks like, just based on the photo that he was presented with for her.
And what’s worse is that all he could see was Phil in her features.
Dan wishes that he could forget about Phil. He knows that he needs to, but yet he can’t stop thinking about his special spot and seeing Phil there every time that he’s gone for the last few trips.
They got along so well when they first met, and Dan really does deep down want to be friends with Phil. He’s not even sure why his heart is telling him that it’s the right thing to do but yet, he does feel deep down that it is.
He’s confused.
Dan’s known for as long as he’s been able to freely think that he wasn’t attracted to women. He much preferred men. It’s something that he’s had to keep a secret, but he did tell Johnathon in pure confidence when the overwhelming urge of shame for his kingdom overtook him one night when he was told about the marriage.
Now that he was actually being forced to marry for the good of the kingdom, his memories of the days where he used to dread this are now here. He’s stood in front of his wardrobe, with his ceremonial garb hung in front of him. Tears are gathering in the corner of his eyes and he’s realizing now that he can’t back out from this.
A knock on his bedroom door shakes him out of his head and he wipes away the tears with the back of his head as he yells an airy, “it’s open” towards the door.
His door slowly opens and Johnathon walks in, a glass on a tray balanced on his hand, “You were looking a bit peckish earlier, Daniel. So I brought you a fresh drink to hopefully give you some more life.”
Dan lets out a small laugh as he walks towards him and takes the glass in his hand, indulging in the coppery taste on his lips. Nothing will ever be better than fresh blood, but it’s unfortunate in the fact that it’s in high demand: it’s not all that plentiful.
“Where did this come from?”
“A freshly hunted deer from just a few hours past.”
Dan nods and finishes the rest of the drink in one gulp. He hands Johnathon back the glass and wipes the excess liquid off from his lips with his hand.
“Are you ready for this evening?” Johnathon asks him, the question seemingly out of the blue.
Dan shakes his head, “I don’t think all the years in the world would ever make me prepared for this evening.”
“It’s not your royal marriage ceremony, you know,” Johnathan says in sympathy. “It’s just meeting a potential wife. You can still turn her down if you feel like she is not fit for you. There will be plenty of other suitors who will love to…”
“Johnathan, you know that I don’t want to marry a woman,” Dan says.
“But I’m afraid you have no choice.”
“I’m aware,” Dan answers back, his words catching in his throat, “but I’m afraid that I think I have many fallen in love with someone else.”
“And who might this person be?” Johnathan asks.
“A man.”
***
The party is in full swing. Everyone is in extravagant gowns and Dan, looking down at the guests from the balcony of the dining hall, can see how fancy everyone looks. Dan casts his glance around the perimeter, seeing if he can spot who he’s looking for. And sure enough, stood with a drink in his hand was none other than Phil, laughing with what appeared to be his sister, Julianna.
Dan’s due to make his way down the grand staircase in just a few moments. During this time, he’ll be expected to walk down the stairs, stop at the end, and extend his hand out to Lady Julianna. He’ll talk her hand, they’ll walk to the middle of the dining room, where the guests are mingling, and will perform their first dance together. If Dan likes what he sees and what he’s been presented with, he can then announce at the end he has chosen to marry her.
But Dan already knows he’s going to turn her down.
Dan’s not sure when he fully came to the conclusion that he, deep down, was actually falling for Phil. Maybe it came when he realized he couldn’t stop thinking about him. Or when he couldn’t stop thinking about how well they got along before they realized who each other were.
Or maybe it’s a deep seated need inside of Dan’s core to just say fuck the system and to do what he wants to. Which is not only marry a man but also marry someone he shouldn’t even be marrying.
In some convoluted way, he’s halfway there if he marries Julianna.
Just then, the music slowly starts and Dan feels an ache in his chest that surely would be his heart thumping if it actually beat. He squeezes his fingers in his palms and slowly moves into the view of the bottom of the staircase where everyone is gathered around, staring up at him. He hates the attention. More than anything else, he just wants to hide and be away from everyone's center of sight.
His mother and father are stood at the foot of the stairs with Julianna standing in between them and everyone else standing behind. Julianna looks beautiful, Dan can’t even disprove that. Her features are stunning and her dark hair is cascading so nicely over the shoulders of her dress. Dan almost feels bad knowing he’s not going to actually marry her.
He descends the stairway and makes it to the bottom where he takes Julianna’s outstretched hand and leads her to the center of the ballroom. They make eye contact and Dan sees her beautiful blue eyes staring back at him with intent, a smile on her lips.
When he looks at her, all he can imagine is Phil...and he feels a bit sick.
Dan loses eye contact with her halfway through their dance. But that could also be because he keeps stepping on her toes and he knows that she’s flinching and giving him some looks but really, he can’t be assed to change the way he’s stepping. He doesn’t want to be here so why would he focus on doing a perfect first dance?
The music stops and he bows and she curtsies back. They turn to the crowd and bow again as everyone applauds. He turns back to her and gives her a quick smile before separating from her and rushing away.
He’s only just arrived to the party and he already can’t stand to be there for any longer. He wants out. He wants to leave, to not be there anymore. He grabs at the collar of his top and rips open the buttons, letting the fabric fall open, exposing his neck to the cool night air.
Dan’s running out of the kingdom now, and he’s not looking back. He’s never used his fast speed before for anything other than some gimmicks when he was a kid, but now he’s running as fast as he can to the clearing. When he gets there, he stops short and collapses to the forest floor, tears running down his face.
He’ll have to leave his kingdom now. He can’t go back there. He’s made a fool out of everyone...including himself. What was he thinking running away like that?
Oh right...because Dan can’t marry Julianna when he’s in love with her brother. Like the pathetic person he is, he’s going to spend the rest of his immortal days pining over a guy who hates him and who Dan should hate back but can’t.
He furiously rubs away the tears from his eyes and takes a shuddering breath as he tries to calm himself down. He can survive in the forest, Dan supposes. He’s never had to hunt for his subsistence before but he can surely do it. He’s just gotta catch a deer or two, right?
God, he’s never gonna be able to make it. He should have never ran away.
“What a performance.”
Dan looked up and followed where the voice was coming from. Phil was stood next to a tree, his arms folded over his chest. Dan didn’t really want to face him right now. He just wanted to be as far away from any of Phil’s family and kingdom as he could be after humiliating himself with Julianna.
“If it makes you feel any better, Julianna didn’t like you either,” Phil says with a chuckle.
“How bad is it?” Dan asks, the words catching in his throat.
“Everyone is a bit chaotic but I left in the midst of it all,” Phil says, walking forward and then taking a seat next to Dan.
“I figured.”
“I don’t blame you,” Phil says. “My family is wanting me to marry someone as well but I can’t find the reason to want to.”
“Yeah…” Dan says, “I just do not fancy…”
Dan stops himself and looks at Phil who is studying him with wide eyes.
“You’re attracted to men?” Phil says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
Dan hides his face and then picks it back up and nods slowly.
“I am too,” Phil says softly.
They sit in silence, and Dan feels like he can cut the tension with a knife. He’s never been in a situation or a conversation like this before. It was a bit daunting and a bit terrifying all at the same time. He didn’t know what to think or how to react.
“When I first met you, I was really happy to find someone that was like me,” Phil says. “In my Kingdom, I was the outcast. I never fit into what anyone else was doing. That’s why I came here to draw. Being here was like an escape from that and when we started meeting up, I genuinely felt like I was meeting someone just like me.”
Dan felt the same way. He could never put into words how he felt about meeting Phil but this was exactly it. Meeting Phil felt the same way for him. Maybe that’s why he took a liking to Phil so quickly?
“I felt the same way,” Dan says. “I really liked being able to just sit here with you.”
Suddenly, a hand is coming up and touching Dan’s cool skin. His chin is being tilted to the side and Dan follows the lead as he comes face to face with Phil. Phil leans in and presses their lips together in a burning kiss. Phil’s lips felt so warm in comparison to his.
When Phil pulls back, Dan stares at him, not sure what to do. Phil just laughs, “Your lips are cold.”
Dan just laughs and shakes his head, “Comes with the whole...package.”
They sit in the clearing for a while longer until Dan can hear his name being called by Jonathan and he figures he needs to actually go back and face whatever consequences are bearing his name. He makes his way back to the castle but not before sharing another quick kiss with Phil and then saying goodbye as they both leave.
At the castle, Dan is yelled at and cursed at and then banished to his sleeping chamber which he knew was going to happen anyway. When he gets to his room, he strips down and dresses into his nightgowns and slips into the seat at his desk. He opens up his notebook that he’s been writing in and he writes down the words:
I love Phil from Vargaria
