Any advice for someone in the query trenches and starting to feel discouraged?
I don't know if it will be helpful, but here goes:
Here's the deal. The query trenches are tough, no doubt - it can be a demoralizing slog of waiting and not hearing anything, pierced with rejection and disappointment -- and just UGH. But! BUT!
Do you realize how many people WANT to write a book, but have never done it? COULDN'T do it? YOU DID IT. YOU WROTE A BOOK! That's amazing.
Do you realize how many people are afraid to even try to put themselves out there, when there is the possibility of rejection? How BRAVE it is to try? YOU ARE DOING THAT. YOU ARE SO BRAVE.
There will be failures and disappointments along the way, for sure. There's just no way around that - even bestselling and beloved authors get rejections, even famous people get disappointments, and the more you put your work and your heart out there, the more chances there are for the hard things to happen... but ALSO, the more you put your work and your heart out there, the more chances you'll have to succeed.
So maybe, instead of framing the "query trenches" as a slog to be endured, or a painful place to be -- you can change the narrative. You don't have an agent or a publishing deal yet - so you have time to experiment and play and follow your passions with nobody else's thoughts to worry about. You get rejections - and maybe they sting, but also maybe they can INSPIRE you in a way. After all - if you are getting rejected, that means you are getting READ. Maybe the rejections will point you toward something that isn't working in your query or manuscript. Maybe they will toughen you up so you get even braver. Maybe you will start writing MORE out of SPITE!
And when you write more, and revise more, you get even better...... and you submit more, and it's less scary and you are even braver.... and then.... before you know it, you are too busy writing and creating and buzzing to worry quite so much about the long waits and anxious feelings.... and hey, wouldn't you know it... great, brave writing from confident, persistent writers tends to attract AGENTS! HOORAY!
Very best of luck out there, and may the odds be ever in your favor.