#questioning transmasc

[saccharin3sweetness]

wait shit since im transmasc and bi does that mean i technically like women in a straight way now

[ririwithrice]

why was i born a girl

i always felt like my brain belonged to a boy

[raavenb2619]

Hey, I need some advice. I have trouble accepting the nonbinary label even though using it just makes sense. I'm AFAB but I get euphoric when using he/him pronouns. I don't really care for femininity most of the time, though my opinion falters between "my body is beautiful and I want to show it off" and "maybe I want to start binding." I want to be more masculine but I can live with being feminine. Saying I'm nonbinary feels wrong because I'm okay with my femininity and not detached from it.

Well, being nonbinary doesn’t mean that you feel complicated disconnected from the gender you were assigned at birth; it just means that you don’t completely and exclusively fit into the gender binary. For example, a genderfluid person might spend a substantial amount of time feeling like their agab, and also spend a substantial amount of time feeling like one or more other genders, and they’d still be nonbinary. There are also labels like demigender that can describe a partial connection to gender, both in intensity (like being 30% connected to a particular gender instead of 100%) and in kind of connection (like being sort-of a particular gender, but also sort-of not that particular gender). 

On the other hand, if nonbinary doesn’t feel right to you, that might be because it’s not the right label for you. You mention liking he/him pronouns and thinking about binding, so have you considered that you might be a trans guy? Being a trans guy doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be completely disconnected and hate anything feminine. After all, cis boys can wear dresses and still be boys, so trans boys can wear dresses and still be boys. Additionally, it’s possible that you always feel like a boy, but have dysphoria that waxes and wanes. Dysphoria can help you figure out what you aren’t, don’t want, or don’t like, but in my experience, it isn’t as helpful when it comes to figuring out what you are, want, or like. 

Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions. 

[raavenb2619]

do you know anything about questioning my gender? i never really thought about it until now (i just recently made a friend who is transmasc and he sort of brought up the idea), but i’m questioning whether or not i’m transmasc. i don’t rlly experience dysphoria (which is why i’ve never questioned) other than not wanting tiddies, but i do get rlly happy when people think i’m a boy, which i was told cis girls don’t feel. but yea, so far on my list for “could i be transmasc? who knows” i just have “tiddies begone” and just the fact that i get happy when people call me a boy :) anyways, do you have any tips on how to make the questioning easier? it’s hard finding things because most of the tips involve feeling dysphoria. thank you so much for your time :)

In my experience, dysphoria can help you figure out what you don’t like and what you’re not, but it’s less useful when it comes to figuring out what you do like and what you are. Sometimes, you can figure those things out just through self-reflection (“what kinds of clothes do i want to wear? how do i want people to see and think of me? how do i want to see and think of myself? what pronouns do i want people to use for me?”), but other times, experimenting can be even more helpful, especially if you’re not sure about something. 

Another thing you can try is learn more about different labels and identities and experiences. Do you think you might be a trans guy? Or maybe nonbinary with some connection to masculinity? If you come across a term that resonates with you, you’re welcome to try calling yourself it; for many people, the feeling of “this is right, this is me” happens after you’ve tried out a particular label. 

At the end of the day, I can’t tell you what your gender is, because the only person who can do that is you. However, I can tell you that most cis people really do feel like their assigned gender at birth. The number of cis people who experience something that closely parallels the dysphoria some trans people feel and are really happy when people think of them as a gender other than their agab is exceedingly small. 

Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions. 

[saccharin3sweetness]

im so fucking fried IM QUESTIONING MY GENDER AGAIN. HELP ME. SERIOUSLY WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE RN ITS 5AM I WANNA SLEEEPPPPPPP

[lemonboy38]

”we just don’t want you to be typecast as a guy all the time bc of your hair.”

uhh but maybe I want to be one? maybe I’m more comfortable playing one in theatre, maybe it makes me feel better because in theatre you can play any role any gender and like people don’t care too much cause it’s just “pretend”

[questioning-culture-is]

Questioning as to whether I’m transmasc or cultural misogyny just fucked me up good (south asian swag)

Puberty was a horror show like nobody was terrible about it but my body,,, growing shit that made my life harder,,,, bleeding once a month and for what. Not ever wanting bio kids and being horrified by pregnancy despite the celebration of it in my culture. Sherwanis instead of sarees with the kurta being a compromise, dressing masc for “”practicality “” but preferring it on every level. I don’t mind skirts sometimes and ballet is fine and stuff but it’s very much a feminine costume I’m wearing when my default state is Not That. Just very confused all the time haha

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