THE MESS WE SEEM TO MAKE. writing prompts sourced from the album the mess we seem to make (2024) by crawlers. contains implied violence, death, drinking, smoking, drug use, infidelity, and suggestive dialogue. feel free to modify pronouns as needed.
i want you to stay for a while.
i'm laying here in denial.
intimacy scares me a lot.
why can't you see what i see?
if you saw what i see, you wouldn't come when i call.
instead you waste late nights on a screen laying next to me.
can i stay for a little while?
this isn't meaningless sex.
i want to fall in love again.
people pass me on the pavement and they don't seem to make a sound.
when you're away, all my thoughts are fuckin' loud.
is loving just how you fuck? is it just how you get off?
i've seen the way you look at me, and you look at me like you're seeing me.
say i'm not just your pornography, a quick fix and some company.
i need this to stay alive.
can you love me how you fuck me?
i don't want this, i want you.
i'm not obsessed with sex, just fucking myself over.
it's been a while since i last checked my bank.
reckless overspending feels better now i've drank.
i know i'm gonna cry when i make it home.
it's fine, i know it's fine, i'm safe.
i'll count to ten, and once it's over, we'll go again.
i only feel alive when i'm not in my head.
i only used to smoke when i got too drunk.
didn't think i'd live this long, didn't think i had the fight.
i don't wanna wake up and feel the same thing.
drugs aren't fun when you do them alone.
i'm so glad that i live out my head now.
i know why i'm like this.
a part of me died when i left you.
we have history, so you're owed all of me.
now i've been smoking a lot with your friends.
i think it's better if i just pretend.
i think it's better if i just pretend that we're cool.
friends don't kiss and tell.
does he know about the cheating?
but i didn't tell, is that worse?
would you come to my funeral and mourn the me you never knew?
i can't relate to motherhood. maybe i'm scared they'll turn out like me.
you believed i would never settle down.
there's a seat laid out for you.
i couldn't pass without telling you.
is it why i look forward to sleeping?
i wonder if you're still smoking, just to get a kick out of me.
why'd they always go for someone younger once i begin to step away?
but if i knew i was dying, you'd be the first person i'd call.
i say i never think of you, but i don't know who i'm lying to.
this time last year, i was someone. now i'm jealous of the pictures of my friends.
it's always when i'm scared of being alone.
i sleep with the light on, you used to do that.
my therapist said i look stoned.
i said i'd rather do it alone.
you can't fake it; that's telling.
tell your dad that it's weed he's smelling.
you're too young to know her.
i think i'll go to sleep.
i see how you used to be before you knew me.
i'm just so sick, i can't even look at myself.
take her name out of your mouth.
you don't deserve to mourn.
you just love the attention.
you like the power you have.
do you think that you're happy?
i woke up alone and i looked at my phone.
you called me four times, but i still felt alone.
i can't tell you i'm not thinking of you anymore
i travelled six hours for the sake of distraction.
i know it would be easier just to settle.
i don't think of you like i used to do.
your body knows before your mind.
missing you isn't enough. wanting you isn't enough.
we were too young to call it what it was.
hate being alone, so stay the night.
you don't love me. you just need me to stay alive.
but i fear the suburban life.
now i'm in new york because i couldn't wait any longer.
i don't think of you like you want me to.
i heard you fucked somebody else.
need somebody in your bed to drown that noise in your head.
you could give it all up for us and it won't be enough.
you'd give it all up for us, but that doesn't mean it was love.
i wanna kiss you while standing in the cold without a jacket.
there's a part of me that needs to think for myself.
you're the best night i ever had.
but i love you, and i love you 'cause you're my home.
i'm in love, i'm in love, until i think too much.
if it's love, why does it hurt so much?
we're at the same party with a different dealer.
how much would you do to feel wanted?
i'd do anything for this though.
a rented house isn't a home.
i know that you dream of a townhouse.
i know my head is self-aware of its problems, but the child in me can't stop them. maybe it's something i got from my mother.
i bet you're thinking of me while you're pulling off her jeans.
i'll do anything for you to see me, for you to wake up and want me.
i've built this house i'm now alone in.
maybe i'm better off alone.
call it love, call it anything you like.
i think it's best if i stay.
my money's telling me no, but that's all just in my head.
now i'd rather not have loved at all.
i know that you'll leave me.
everyone can see the way you look at me.
can you please love me gently?
they're wearing your clothes.
they're starting to get loud.
there's comfort in the sadness and the mess i seem to make.
no one's gonna know you like i do.
you're always on my mind.
sold my morals for a smoke.
you know my body more than most.
i think i'm all the things i hate.
no one tell you drugs can kill you?
it isn't where i thought my life would be.
don't tell me how to get better.
you know that they love it when i'm getting sadder.
the people won't like me if i'm any louder.
i'm the one who's insecure.
not healthy but at least i got a way to cope.
i'll be your poltergeist.
i thought you were pretty until my sight was fixed.
if no one was watching, would you still call me a friend?
are you smoking weed again?
i've seen how you touch her, and it's the way you used to touch me.
you said you loved me, you said you'd want me.
it was the last time i was loved innocently, but i know it's because we were young.
but if it was now, i would've held on to you longer.
i want you to notice how much that i've moved on.
i've been lonely since you left me.
did you treat her well tonight?
it's like when my parents fight.
she treated you as a son.