#rage writing

[mumbledmanuscripts]

nothing motivates me to write my book more than the thought of it being banned in the USA

[eirawritesfire]

poem or glitch? unclear.

[inkedswordd]

Some women are just born to be daughters. They repay their mother's sacrifices with their whole lives. They are the compromise, they are the patience and they are the caretakers. They are their mother's mother. They drink poison everyday and become immune to it. They are not allowed to be wives, sisters, friends or even a person. They are a daughter. That is their sole role. They do not dream of a future because they are not allowed to, because their future is caregiving. The therapist for everyone, everyone's mother, nobody's daughter. They are a pretty trophy, praised for their resilience and hard work. But has anyone ever asked them if they had wanted this role? Has anyone ever asked them of their dreams? What they could've been had they not been shackled to their responsibilities? Had they been allowed to live as them and not a mother or a daughter?

-inkedSword

[lakeinori]

The Mourning that Never Ends (poem)

This elegy is not polite.

It will not hold your hand.

It will drag you

to the unmarked graves

you stepped over without looking.

Transgender Day of Remembrance.

A time to mourn.

A time to pretend we remember

the names we never bothered to learn.

Society says

we can mourn a white trans girl.

That’s allowed.

But what of the hundreds—

the thousands—

of Black and brown faces

gunned down, beaten, vanished

for daring to exist?

Where is their front page?

Their candlelit vigil?

Not even the “progressive” press

dares to name them.

It is disgusting.

We don’t know their stories.

We don’t know who they were.

We never saw their light

before it was torn away.

All we’re given is a name.

And what is in a name?

Nothing.

A name is not laughter.

A name is not joy.

A name is not the way they danced

or the softness in their voice.

The person is what mattered.

And we were never allowed

to know them.

I know the weight of this day.

But it is only a day.

One day to mourn

when mourning should never stop.

Our siblings are still out there—

hunted, hated,

murdered year after year.

And what do we do?

Nothing.

We are complicit.

Made so by comfort.

Made so by silence.

Western society taught us

how to look away. 

They tell us to have hope.

To look toward some bright tomorrow.

But all I see

is a pile of unknown corpses.

A field of dead names

etched on makeshift grave markers.

I see this

where there should be flowers.

A meadow of celebration—

each blossom a life,

each bed a soul

torn from the earth

by an unforgiving,

unapologetic

Society.

So, rather than reading names

on just one day a year,

let us remember them—

mourn them—all year round.

Let us not let the world forget.

Let us carve their names

into the broken flesh

of history and time.

We will not forget.

We will not forgive.

[thefree-mind]

Dear Diary: A Memoir of Madness

This is not a poem, a story or a structured piece of literature. This is a dive into my mind, a dive into a broken heart that's trying to recover from a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship.

These are raw, unfiltered thoughts. I let my mind spill whatever it wanted to on this digital paper. These are feelings of hurt, regret, and most importantly, anger. I hope this piece makes you feel something and helps you make better choices when it comes to romance.

Tw: mentions of suicide and murder

If I was given the floor to speak and pour out my emotions without any consequences or condemnation, I would probably start by explaining how stupid or sad I feel. I don't think I've been genuinely happy for a while now.

Why am I the one always being taken advantage of? Why do people take my kindness for weakness? Why do foolish people think they can play on my intelligence? Why do I turn up as the villain in the story every single time?

Am I doing something wrong? Is there anything wrong with me? Am I stupid? Should i take my life and just get it over with?

The struggle of having no one in your corner, the deep sinking feeling of seasonal depression, the regret you feel when you knew that it wasn't going to work out but you took that chance, you made the decision, and now it's back to punch you in the face.

That idiot never really deserved me. What the hell was I thinking? This is why I continue to ask if I'm stupid. Lowered my standards for what exactly? To raise someone else's son? To teach a grown man basic emotional intelligence and maturity? To be hidden like I was a thing of shame? To be constantly told to stop being myself because it was "embarrassing"? To be looked down on because being with him immediately made me "ran through" and "loose"? What the fuck was I thinking seeing the good in a man whore?

I get too carried away and let my emotions get the best of me sometimes. I think everyone is as good of a person as I am.

God forbid I ever let a man project his insecurities on me ever again. God forbid I have to beg a man to be chalant and give me emotional security. God forbid I ever let a man tell me to my face that I should allow him sleep with other girls outside because I wasn't ready for sex. God forbid I give a man the chance to accuse me of stealing from him. God forbid I ever date a scam-ass-419-yahoo nigga ever again. God forbid I ever get with a man that weaponized my emotional vulnerability and turned me talking about my discomfort into arguments. God forbid I still stay when a man tells me he doesn't deserve me and feels like he'll hurt me. God forbid I still stay when a man is comfortable going the whole day without talking to me. God forbid I get with a man who thinks showing his emotions makes him weak. God forbid I ever get with a narcissist ever again.

God forbid I get with a man who doesn't want to be seen with me in public. God forbid I ever let a man make me rethink my worth. God forbid I put a man in the place of God in my life. God forbid I get with a man who's comfortable with seeing me cry and tells me it's fucking crocodile tears. Fucking bastard. God forbid I ever get with a man who is too pussy to defend me in front of his friends. God forbid i ever let a man feel comfortable enough to discuss his desire to have baby mamas in my presence ever again.

God forbid i ever do as much as boil water in an electric kettle for a man ever again. God forbid i put myself in a position where people have to come and tell me to open my eyes. God forbid i get with a man with such fragile masculinity that he can't even carry my bags or let me take cute videos of him. God forbid i get with a substance addicted nigga. God forbid i try to give a man love that his parents didn't give him. God forbid i let a nigga below 6'0 play me like this ever again. God forbid i so much as give the fool as little as a glance if I'm ever in the same room as him.

God please strike me down if i ever think of being with a man that doesn't believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ again. God forbid i get with a man who raises his voice at me and calls me stupid. God forbid i date a man who tells me he might cheat and i should forgive him if he does. Olodo. God forbid I ever put myself in the space where I initiate and carry the emotional weight AGAIN.

I should know better. 2018 and 2021 taught me better. I just love seeing the good in people. That bitch doesn't deserve love and I sincerely hope he never finds it.

Was I wrong to want to help him grow? Was I wrong to see the good in him? Am I his fucking mother bro what is even wrong with me? I need to be stopped because the fuck is this build-a-man NGO I have going on?

I didn't spread the Gospel or read my bible. But I spent 7 months of my life crying over a weak ass man. And the relationship only lasted 4 months. For what? A nigga who couldn't even get me wet? A low self esteem ridden ass bitch? Funny how I made him better in every sense but I remained stagnant. I regressed even.

Fake ass sapiosexual your emotions control you girl. Next time find yourself someone who can equally pour into you. Try again 2035. Maybe by then Bang Chan from Stray Kids would be a real candidate. MY MAN MY MAN!

Why is murder a crime? Sometimes I wish I could just drive to that nigga house and put bullets in his skull because the fuck do you take me for? Sometimes I wanna show him why my father is my father. This 19 year old canon event shit almost took me the fuck out.

It's the way he definitely thought i was stupid, soft and had nothing else going for me with the way he would comfortably and conveniently dissapear and shut me out of his life when he felt wronged, leaving me in the dark and desperately trying to reach out to him, then he would stroll back into my life two weeks later when he was over his bitch fit and I would allow him every single time.

There's probably a lot of things I missed and I wish I could continue, but there's food waiting for me and God forbid I don't eat because of anything that has to do with a man.

2026, I can't wait to meet you.

[the-loosest-moose]

Rough day yesterday (and today). Apparently I coped late last night while rage writing a 5K "drabble" on my phone after taking sleep meds? Reading through it now, and I've gleaned the following:

- my characters will always argue like wrestling cats

- one character always makes dumb jokes (self-insert?)

- lots of characters sigh/pinch the bridge of their nose

- my smut uses the word "stroke" a lot

- my writing software occasionally struggles to understand my phrasing and autocorrects in odd ways

- I really do have a conjunction thing

[something-tofightfor]

Eff it

I am having a really shitty day. 

I planned on writing what I started working on last night - the Wyoming epilogue - but I am NOT in the mood for that one. 

Anyone have anything that they desperately want me to work on? HNH? JaP? Tonight? Ben/Reader?

... I’m open to suggestion.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Uh oh...

... I’m rage writing. 😬