Part 6/10 of singledad!Steve Rogers x Reader series
Part 1:https://iliketowrite1996.tumblr.com/post/614617294578089984/his-best-girl
Part 2: https://iliketowrite1996.tumblr.com/post/614969499334197248/meet-the-music-teacher
Part 3: https://iliketowrite1996.tumblr.com/post/616114724817584128/lunch-buddies
Part 4:https://iliketowrite1996.tumblr.com/post/616328582794493952/why-not
Part 5: https://iliketowrite1996.tumblr.com/post/616965238563192832/blind-dates-part-1-sneak-peek
TRIGGER WARNINGS AND THEMES- Death of a parent, child feels guilty for the death, loss of a spouse, heartache, absent parent, blind dates, making decisions, grief, loss, acceptance.
It’s been a few weeks since his date with Sharon, and Steve has loved every minute that he’s spent with her. She’s sweet to Jasmine, includes her on Saturday dates, and cares about Steve for more than his looks.
And Steve’s not quite ready to call this love, but he would say that he likes where their relationship is going.
‘’What are you thinking about, Steve,’’ Sharon asks him on a Friday night in november, when Jasmine is spending the night at her aunt and cousin’s place.
‘’Hmmm, nothing. I love how sweet you are with Jasmine,’’ he explains, smiling at her before taking her hand, ‘’I think she is starting to grow on you.’’
‘’I’m glad to hear that,’’ Sharon smiles a bit, accepting a kiss from Steve as they sit on her couch, ‘’So. How was work today?’’
‘’Oh, you know, the usual,’’ Steve shrugs casually, ‘’Paint everywhere, had to tell a kindergartner to stop licking the desks, Jasmine practically jumping with excitement to go to music class.’’
‘’She does. In fact, her teacher has become a good friend of mine.’’
It’s the second to last week of November, so Steve has known you for a good few months. You’ve laughed, you’ve shared details of your move, you’ve had lunch with him a few times.
He tells her this. He doesn’t tell her how his heart breaks a bit at the fact that you have a date tomorrow, even if he does.
‘’You know, Steve,’’ Sharon smirks a bit, but Steve can detect a hint of pettiness behind it, ‘’The way to a girls’ heart is not through talking about another woman.’’
Steve can feel his cheeks heat, ‘’I-I didn’t-’’
‘’I’m kidding, Steve,’’ Sharon snorts, ‘’Listen, we’re not exclusive. I know that you have a crush on our co-worker. I don’t think that you know, though.’’
Steve looks to Sharon, not sure what to say, ‘’I… I don’t have a crush.’’
‘’Okay, Steve. Sure. Listen,’’ she sits up, taking his hand, ‘’We are not exclusive. Why not ask this woman out? You talk about her a lot.’’
‘’She’s busy. She doesn’t have time to date,’’ Steve repeats what you say after a failed date that Pepper tried to set you up with.
‘’And? So are you. You’ve got a kid, two jobs, and your art club. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Same as us. So I’m not particularly worried about this- ask her out, Steve It may surprise you,’’ Sharon insists.
And that’s what Steve is thinking Saturday morning when he’s driving around town getting things for Sunday Dinner with Nat and Bucky.
‘’Yeah, sure,’’ he tells the woman on the other end, ‘’She can bring her kid. I’ll bring Jazzy.’’
‘’Thank you so much, Steve. You’re a sweetheart.’’
‘’No problem. I’ll meet her at the arcade at, let’s say…5. ‘’
‘’Alright, I’ll relay the message. Thank you, Steve.’’
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‘’Where are we going, dad,’’ Jasmine questions Steve, as he pulls out of their apartment complex’s parking garage.
‘’Well, I had a date. But she has to bring her kid, so I’m bringing you. I feel like I told you this.’’
‘’I wasn’t listening,’’ Jasmine admits.
Steve glances at her before returning his eyes to the road, ‘’Jasmine, where did you get that hat from?’’
‘’Auntie Patricia. She said...she said that it was mom’s.’’
And it was- a black,velvet hat with a pink blossom on it that her mother had got at a thrift store.
‘’It was. Your mom… she loved that hat. I gave it to your Aunt Patricia when your mom passed away.’’
‘’Dad, do you ever still miss her?’’
‘’All the time, sweetpea. But, hey, I’ve got God and I’ve got you,’’ Steve grins at her when he stops at the red light, ‘’And you’re so much like your mom.’’
‘’Mhm. She loved to sing, too. Off-key, though,’’ he chuckles as he moves with the flow of traffic at the green light, ‘’And sometimes, she’d do this thing where, if she was trying to remember something, she’d snap as soon as she did. Drove me nuts, and you do it too.’’
Steve can tell that she’s reflecting on this new found information, so he is silent until they pull into the parking lot of the arcade.
‘’Like my outfit,’’ Jasmine poses as they get out of the car.
She’s dressed in her black sneakers, blue denim overalls, a rainbow long sleeve shirt, and the blossom hat.
She looks so much like her mother.
‘’You look gorgeous, honey. Come on. Let’s get going,’’ Steve tells her, and the dynamic duo make their way to the arcade.
Steve looks to his phone, and, pulling out the app that he uses to call parents from home so that they didn't have his real number, calls his date.
‘’Hello,’’ she answers on the second ring.
‘’Hey. Um, we’re here. Are you?’’
‘’I am,’’ Steve hears, ‘’We’re at a table over by the ski-ball machine. You can talk to me while you walk this way.
‘’Got it,’’ Steve grabs Jasmine’s wrist guiding her through the sem-crowded arcade to find his date for the evening, ‘’Thanks for being patient. I’m sorry we’re late.’’
‘’No worries. Thanks for being so relaxed about me bringing my daughter. My aunt and uncle have a wedding that he’s ordaining today, and my babysitter fell through.’’
‘’It’s fine, I’m actually happy about this,’’ he admits, ‘’We get to spend time with our kids and see about this.’’
‘’Hmmm… you’re right. That does sound… Steve?’’
Steve looks to see none other than you on your phone, gaping up at him.
‘’Hey, what are you doing here,’’ Steve questions.
‘’Waiting for my date, what are… Steve, are you my date?’’
‘’Looks like it,’’ Steve glances next to you to see Olivia, his little helper from Mrs. Storm’s class,’’Olivia! How are you doing?’’
‘’I’m good, Mr. Rogers,’’ she speaks before burying herself in your arm.
‘’She’s shy,’’ you reveal, and Steve nods.
‘’I didn’t know she was your daughter,’’ Steve tells you before Jasmine clears her throat, ‘’Jasmine, she already knows you’re my daughter.’’
‘’You’re dating my teacher.’’
‘’We’re not dating,’’ Steve sighs, ‘’This is a blind date. It’s one date. Does it make you feel weird?’’
‘’No,’’ Jasmine shrugs, sliding into the street across from you and Olivia, ‘’I’m chill.’’
‘’...Stop copying Sam. Anyway,’’ Steve looks to you as he sits next to Jasmine, ‘’I didn’t know you had a daughter.’’
‘’Are you okay, sweetie,’’ you ask Olivia, who nods, before you turn your attention back to Steve, ‘’I don’t tell everyone, I just like to keep work and home separate.’’’
‘’Respected,’’ Steve nods, ‘’Listen, I’ll get the girls some tokens, and you order the pizza? I think we can talk while they play games while we talk.’’
Because, boy, do you two have a lot to talk about.
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Under your instructions, Jasmine and Olivia are playing some frog game where you hit them with a mallet while you and Steve keep an eye on the two.
‘’I didn’t know you were my date. My aunt said his name is ‘Grant’.’’
‘’Steven Grant Rogers,’’ Steve chuckles, looking down, ‘’I asked her to tell you that. I go by my middle name if it’s someone at the church, just so that the date is truly a blind date until we meet up.’’
‘’Speaking of which… I thought you were with Jasmine’s mother,’’ you approach the subject, ‘’You talk about her a lot. I just thought…’’
‘’No, it’s quite alright. I can see how you got that,’’ Steve looks to Jasmine, wistfulness filling his eyes, ‘’Petra, Jasmine’s mom, passed away the night that she was born.’’
‘’Steve,’’ you gasp, ‘’Steve, I...I’m sorry, I didn’t.’’
‘’No, no, it’s fine. I talk about her a lot but mostly for Jasmine’s sake. She’s always hesitant to bring her up. I want her to know that it’s okay,’’ Steve watches as Jasmine takes the token cup in one hand, and Olivia’s hand in the other, and guides her over to the skee ball machines, ‘’What about Olivia? Is her dad around?’’
‘’He couldn’t get out of town fast enough. I haven’t seen him in five years,’’ you grimace a bit before smiling at Olivia, ‘’She’s one of my greatest blessings though, and I thank God for her. Even if her dad is trash.’’
‘’Tell me how you really feel,’’ Steve jokes, causing you to laugh at your shared bluntness.
‘’I mean, I've forgiven Darryl. That’s his name-I forgave him. Steve, iit hurt to hear her ask about her dad and cry about things that she needs him for, like the daughter-daddy dances. My dad and brothers went with her to stuff like that when we were in Texas, but you know… my uncle is even busier. Between charity events, running the church, Bible study… I don’t know. I don’t want to ask more of them. I just moved out. I feel like I can’t ask them.’’
‘’Hey, they love you. They helped me with Jazzy, I know they’ll help you, too. And, if you ever need a hand, I’m here.’’
‘’Thanks, Steve. I appreciate that,’’ you grin just as your pizza arrives, ‘’Thank you. Steve, I’m gonna take the girls to the bathroom and let them wash their hands, alright?’’
‘’Alright,’’ he agrees, ‘’I’ll watch the food and wait for the drinks.’’
Pretty soon, you’re finishing up the pizza, and laughing while you do so.
‘’Daddy tries to sing,’’ Jasmine frowns, ‘’He’s doing his best.’’
‘’Thank you, honey. You’re grounded,’’ he laughs when she looks at him with fake hurt, ‘’Alright, chickadee. Go play. You’ve got thirty minutes.’’
‘’Okay, daddy. Come on, Olivia,’’ she grabs the five-year-old’s hand, pulling her to the air hockey table.
‘’She fancies herself a bit of a big sister, huh,’’ you look to Steve before looking back at your daughters, ‘’She’s always wanted a little sister. And her Aunt Nataasha and Uncle Bucky are happy with their dog, and Sam still hasn't settled down yet. This is the closer she’ll get.’’
‘’It’s sweet. She’s a sweet kid, Steve. You’ve done a very good job at raising her.’’
‘’Thank you. You’ve done a great job with Olivia, too.’’
‘’You have no idea how much I needed to hear that today,’’ you breathe out, blinking back tears, ‘’It was a rough day.’’
‘’I understand. If you ever need to talk or vent,’’ Steve places a hand on top of yours, causing you to look at where your hands are together on top of the table, the fluorescent lights above doing very little to illuminate how beautiful it is, his hands on yours,
Be still,your beating heart.
‘’I don’t want to make you think that I’m forcing you into liking me or something. I mean.. I am dating other people. Well, one other person. Not exclusively,’’ Steve sighs, ‘’I don’t know. I just don’t want you to think that I am trying to make this be more than it is. I like us being friends, and that’s most important to me.’’
For the past five years, you’ve been focusing on Olivia and making things as normal as possible for her in all aspects that you haven’t seriously thought about dating. It always came down to her. The only reason you moved was to start over in a new life for yourself, and, in doing so, give Olivia a new life.
‘’I don’t know how I feel right now.Because I don’t want to lose this friendship, either.’’
‘’So then let’s just see where this goes,’’ Steve pats your hand gently before pulling his hand away, just as Olivia and Jasmine rejoin you, coming back with none other than DeShawn.
‘’Hi!,’’ DeShawn greets you both, ‘’Mr. Rogers, I’m here with my mom. She asked if she could take Jazzy and I for ice cream in about a half hour , then she’ll drop her off at home.’’
Steve looks to his watch, and notices that it’s only seven, ‘’Sure. As long as Jasmine is home by 9:30. ‘’
‘’THanks, daddy! Bye,’’ Jasmine hugs Steve, you and even Olivia, ‘’I’ll see you later.’’
The two are rushing off then, leaving you, Olivia and Steve.
‘’It’s an hour to bed time, little one,’’ you remind Olivia, ‘’Let’s head home, Livvy.’’
‘’But I want ice cream, too.’’
‘’Tomorrow. Otherwise you’ll be up all night,’’ you remind her, grabbing her coat, ‘’Since you got the tokens, I’ll pay for the pizza, Steve.’’
‘’Don’t worry about it,’’ Steve begins to reach for his wallet.
‘’No, I insist,’’ you button your daughter’s coat.
‘’Well, at least let me drive you to your apartment, like trail you. I just want to make sure you get home safely.’’
You stand, folding your coat over your arm, ‘’Why?’’
Maybe you’re being irrational and over defensive, but it is what it is, and you’re committed to protecting Olivia from getting attached just to get hurt.
Olivia… and your own heart.
‘’Just as friends. I did it for my friend Nat before she and Bucky got married. Promise.’’
So that’s how you find yourself carrying Olivia as Steve unlocks your door.
‘’So my great-niece is passed out, huh?’’
You and Steve look to see your aunt and uncle. Dressed from the wedding earlier.
‘’What are you two doing here?’’
‘’You really should charge your phone, dear,’’ your aunt takes your sleeping kindergartner, ‘’We came to check up on you.’’
‘’I’m sorry,’’ you sigh, ‘’It died at dinner.’’
‘’Well thank goodness for Steve, then, dear,’’ she winks at him, ‘’I’m gonna get her dressed in her pajamas.’’
‘’Steve. Always a pleasure to see you,’’ your uncle greets your date for the evening with a handshake.
‘’Pastor,’’ Steve acknowledges before your uncle enters behind your aunt, closing your door to give the two of you privacy.
‘’Sorry about them,’’ you chuckle, nervously clasping your hands together in front of you, ‘’Well… I’m going to church tomorrow, so I guess I’ll see you then.’’
‘’See you then,’’ Steve nods, rocking on his feet, ‘’Um… not to be ...imposing. I don’t know if that’s the correct word. But can I kiss you?’’
It’s funny, he thinks, because he hesitated with Sharon. But not with you.
‘’I… I think I’d like that,’’ you whisper, just before Steve leans in and you…
‘’I can’t. I just… Steve, I like you. But I really don’t want to go fast, because that’s how I got hurt last time.’’
Steve is no stranger to being hurt. He’s been on countless of failed dated, lost the love of his life, and now he’s trying to juggle growing feelings for Sharon with a crush that has long been on you.
‘’I understand. Listen,’’ Steve leans his forehead against yours, staring into your eyes, ‘’I want you to know that you can trust me. I’m not… I’m not here to hurt you or Olivia.’’
‘’It’s gonna take a minute for me to see you as a potential partner and not just a coworker or friend, Steve. And I need you to respect that. Besides… you’re already seeing someone else. And I think that you should spend some time seeing the both of us before you make a choice about any of this.’’
It’s a cop out, you feel, but also the truth. You’ve got Olivia to think about. And though you know Steve is a good guy, are you sure that you’re really ready for this? Thinking about dating him and actually dating him are two vastly different things.
‘’Am I getting ahead of myself?’’
‘’No. I , I think, with both of us being parents, we have to consider our daughters. So, no pressure. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?’’
‘’Yeah. Bye, Steve. Good night.’’
‘’Good night,’’ Steve turns on his heels, away from you and back to his car.
And, for the first time in a while, Steve Rogers is left without a plan…
And no idea how he feels about it.
‘’So… what’s the problem?’’
‘’I like Sharon, I like my co-worker. I’m not here for advice, Nat.’’
It’s been three weeks since your date, and it’s two weeks before Christmas. Since then, you’ve enjoyed Skype dates, Saturday lunches, Wednesday Night Bible Study, and a Sunday dinner with Steve and sometimes your daughters…
While Sharon has enjoyed Friday nights, Saturday breakfasts, and Wednesday early dinners with Steve,
He’s been dating the both of you, and he’s honestly not sure who he’s more interested in. He loves your dedication, your sensitivity, your caring nature. But he adores Sharon’s spitfire attitude, sarcasm, and willingness to arrange her schedule without even having a child of her own.
So here he is,after Sunday morning church service, at Nat and Bucky’s for dinner.
‘’Yes, you are,’’ she leans her head against her hand, glancing to where Jasmine and Bucky are in the kitchen, fixing up dinner, ‘’Because of Jasmine.’’
Steve has spent the last ten years of his life making sure that Jasmine has everything she needs, and that if he can’t get it for her, someone can. He’s turned down dates, poured out savings to pay for things that he needs her to have, borrowed from Sam..
Anything that he can do to take care of her.
‘’She’s my daughter, Nat. I’ve got to consider her.’’
‘’Yeah, I know, Steve. I’m not telling you not to. But you… how do I say this? Steve, you’re using her as an excuse.’’
Steve looks to Natasha with a blank look, ‘’How’s that?’’
‘’You know I'm right. You find something wrong with every woman that you date, Steve. Don’t even-,’’ she holds up a hand before he can cut her off, ‘’You do. And most of the time, it’s valid. But here are two great women, who care about Jazz in some way, who accept her and you, who like you for more than your looks… and you’re looking for advice because you’re afraid.’’
‘’No, my co-worker is afraid,’’ Steve stresses, ‘’She doesn’t want to get hurt.’’
‘’And you don’t want Jasmine to get hurt,but you don’t want yourself to get hurt.’’
Steve is ready to sputter out anything to refute her, to say how she’s wrong.
‘’You're glad that Sharon wants you to date others and you’re glad that your coworker is afraid because you are. Because you are constantly comparing every woman that you meet to Petra, Steve. Because... ,’’ Nat takes his hand, ‘’Because that hurt you to a point where you’re afraid to try again. And if I am wrong, I’ll admit that I’m wrong. But look me, one of our best friends, in the eye and tell me that’s not true.’’
Steve can feel his tears, and Nat acts quickly. She tells Bucky that she’s showing Steve what they did with their office space, and guides him into the spare room, knowing that he doesn’t want to cry in front of Jasmine.
‘’Steve,’’ she sighs, not one for hugs, but opening her arms for her friend.
And Steve, for the first time in years, crumbles at the thought of Petra.
‘’I can’t do it again, Nat,’’ he’s sobbing into her arms again, ‘’Not again.’’
‘’Hey. Hey, shhh… it’s okay,’’ Nat shushes him, ‘’Steve, you can’t hold this in all of the time.’’
‘’I’ve got to do it for Jazzy.’’
‘’Steve, look at me,’’ Natasha urges him, ‘’Jazzy is trying to hold it for you. She asked me if I had any more pictures of her mom. I really think something’s going on with her. Peter talks to Tony… her grades are getting better, she didn’t mind giving up her solo to spend more time studying...but really talks to her, Steve. About her mom, I mean. You know Bycky, Sam, Tony, Pepper and I are here for you. You’ve got us.’’
‘’That’s the worst pain I’ve ever been through. I never want to go through that again.’’
‘’Steve, I can’t promise you that you won’t. I can promise that you never have to go through it alone. You have the strongest faith I have ever seen in someone. You can get through this and you're not alone.’’
Steve thinks of her words, of the friendships that have become like family relationships, of all of the things that his partner has told him about faith…
And of the premise that he made Petra the day that they found out about Jasmine- to always be there for her no matter what.
‘’Nat,’’ Steve sighs, pulling Nat into a hug again, ‘’I don’t know what I’d do without you.’’
‘’Your life would suck,’’ she deadpans, laughing when Steve place a friendly kiss on her head.
‘’You comforted me, and you said you didn’t have any maternal instincts. You know I love you, and Jasmine adores you.’’
‘’I love you both, too. You know that. And, I guess it’s about time that I got some maternal instincts to come out. I’ll be needing them in about seven months.’’
Steve’s grin starts slow, but he can totally see Nat being a great mom, and Bucky being a great day, ‘’Does Buck know?’’
‘’Not yet. I’ll tell him tonight, after dinner. So, please, don’t tell anyone else.’’
‘’Your secret's safe with me, but we'd better get out there before they get worried.’’
Nat Nods in agreement, and the two walk out to find Bucky and Jasmine setting the table for dinner.
‘’Everything okay,’’ Bucky asks the two of them, eyes on his best friend and wife as Jasmine sets forks on the table.
‘’Yeah, what have you two been up to,’’ Nat inquires, ‘’That salad looks amazing, Buck.’’
‘’My assistant made it,’’ Bucky Gestures to Jasmine, who bows gracefully.
‘’That’s my girl,’’ Steve high fives his daughter, ‘’Looks good, sweetpea.I can’t wait to dig in.’’
When dinner is over, Jasmine and Steve go home, change into their pajamas, and lounge on the couch.
‘’Only a few more days until the Christmas concert?’’
‘’Igues,’’ Jasmine shrugs, ‘’I don’t really care about the solo, so I’m glad it went to Alexandria. DeShawn’s mom said she’d take us shopping over the weekend. Dad… daddy, I don’t want to do anything for my birthday this year.’’
Well, he certainly wasn’t expecting that.
‘’Because it makes you sad. It makes you think about mom. And you don’t…’’
Steve looks over to see his daughter wiping tears furiously, ‘’Jazzy? Jazzy what’s wrong?’’
‘’I’m just tired! I just… dad, why don’t we talk about mom more? WHy don’t you show me more pictures?’’
And there it is. It finally came out, and Steveis both happy that he knows what’s bothering his daughter, and upset that he didn’t see it sooner.
‘’Come here,’’Steve pulls his daughter in a hug, ‘’Sweetheart, why didn’t you say anything sooner?’’
‘’I don’t know,’’ she shrugs, wiping her face, ‘’Dad… I just. I miss her, and I didn’t know her.’’
‘’That’s fine, sweetheart. I should have talked about her before. I Didn't want to upset you, but I guess that I did.’’
‘’I love spending time with Aunt Patricia, I love Aunt Nat.But I just feel like I don’t… I look at DeShawn and his mom, and Olivia and her mom. I want that. ‘’
‘’I know you do,’’ he sighs,kissing her head, ‘’I’m so sorry, Jazzy.’’
‘’It’s not okay, but we will remedy the situation. Tomorrow, I’ll pull out her old pictures. Next time you feel like this, Jazzy, talk to me. You know that I want what’s best for you.’’
‘’I know, daddy. I love you.’’
‘’I love you, too, Jazzy.’’
And the two stay like that for a bit, just spending time with each other, talking between the two of them.
‘’Dad, do you like both Sharon and my teacher?’’
‘’I think I do,yeah,’’ Steve admits, because he’s always been honest with his daughter, ‘’But I’ve got you to think about, too, Jazz. So I won’t rush into anything.’’
‘’Dad, I love you, but… I like them both, too. Sharon is nice and fun, but so is my music teacher. I mean… it would take some getting used to. But I like her, and she won’t be my teacher when I go to middle school next year.’’
Jasmine sees the world for what it is, while also weighing the possibilities. Just like you. And it’s something Steve has already known, and he just now realizes that his daughter is very mhc mature for a ten year old, and he somehow got to witness her transformation into a young lady and missed it in the blink of an eye.
‘’When did you get so smart?’’
‘’I always am. It’s late, dad. I’m going to bed. Love you.’’
‘’Love you, too, Jazzy.’’
So Jasmine heads off to bed, and Steve retires to his own room shortly after, with a plan for tomorrow.
First he’ll get up early and pull out those pictures of Petra to show Jasmine after school. Then, he’ll text Sharon and see if they can talk. Finally, he’ll see you at school, and talk to you.
Steve has learned that he has to accept certain things, but he can fight for what he wants at times, too.
And if it’s meant to be, Steve is sure that it will find a way.
DISCLAIMER- I own no Marvel characters or their fictional worlds, planets, countries, galaxies, etc.
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