Synopsis: You're a little bigger than most girls. Generally you don't care, but sometimes it's a weight on your mind. Cas can't understand why you're so upset.
NOTE: Reader is a half-sibling. Same father (John) but different mother
MASTERLIST
.
Dean startled as Cas touched his shoulder, the angel swooping in unannounced. "Cas," Dean grumbled, putting his glass of whiskey down. "You gotta stop doing that, buddy."
"Apologies," Cas said, tilting his head slightly. "I've come to talk to you about an issue that has arisen with Y/N." Instantly Dean stood straighter, concern and protectiveness carved into every tensed muscle. "I grew concerned with her mental state after she refused to provide a reason as to her depressed nature recently. I took it upon myself to investigate and found her mind filled with negative thoughts about her body and weight. What's wrong?"
Dean sighed, draining his glass of alcohol. He knew what was happening in your head. It was a mindset he and Sam had tried to destroy many times before. Until now, he thought they'd succeeded. "Some girls are very self-conscious," Dean tried to explain. "Y/N's just too harsh on herself sometimes."
"Dean I don't understand. Does she not see that physical appearances do not matter?"
"They do to a lot of people Cas." Dean leaned against the counter, taking a deep breath. "Y/N's always had trouble with accepting herself. Dad was harsh on her about it, always told her that big girls don't run fast enough to escape. He tried to train it out of her but it never really worked. It's just her genetics. Her mother wasn't incredibly tiny and so Y/N isn't either."
Cas nodded and looked down at his hands. "Does she wish to be one of those tiny girls?"
"It's hard to tell," Dean admitted and it pained him to say it. He hated to think that you could be suffering some days and he and Sam would have no idea. He knew you were always hesitant to come to them when you were upset. "I think, deep down, she knows that she's perfect the way she is, but there's been some bad experiences that have stopped her from fully accepting her body."
"I see," Cas murmured.
It was quiet for a little while, Dean pouring himself another glass of whiskey and Cas just contemplating how to help pull you out of your funk. He'd truly never encountered a human with such complex insecurities, and he struggled to understand how you could believe that extra body mass made you less of a person, less of a hunter.
Then you shuffled into the kitchen, wrapped in long baggy sweatpants and a hoodie that was two sized too big. Cas watched you make your way to the fridge and frowned. You looked overly warm, and though the clothes might be comfortable, you still looked slightly miserable.
"Hey kid," Dean greeted, smiling gently. The softness on his face grew sad when you barely reacted to his voice.
Cas dared a peek at your mind. Dean was right, you were struggling to accept who you were. "Y/N," he said, watching you carefully. "I'd like to take you to dinner tonight."
Dean gave him a look, a strange mix between gratitude, disbelief and disagreeance. Cas dismissed the man's concerns, focusing on you instead. "Really?" You said, eyes wide and shocked. "Me?"
"Yes. Somewhere formal where you can dress up."
Something flickered on your face and you deflated slightly, shaking your head. "I'd love to Cas but I can't."
He tilted his head. "Why not?"
"It's a human thing, you wouldn't understand."
"Tell me," he insisted, and something in Dean's expression cleared. The hunter's gaze was less judgemental and more understanding as he understood Cas's plan. "Y/N, you have seemed upset lately. I thought this might cheer you up. I know you used to like putting on a nice dress and going out."
You flushed. "Cas..." you sighed, shook your head. "I'm not the kind of girl you wanna take out to a nice place."
There it was.
Dean stepped forward. "Baby Girl," he murmured but you stepped back.
"It's true," you told him. "Dad always used to say that being a big girl made me a bad hunter."
"Well Dad was an ass and you shouldn't listen. You're an amazing hunter-"
"Please stop," you whispered, hands trembling. "Just...please."
Cas spoke up. "Y/N, I'm not sure you know what I see when I look at you." You glanced at him, briefly shaking your head before looking back down. "When I look at humans, quite often I only see their spirit - their soul. Physical appearances very rarely play a part in what I see. I judge people on their true being."
"So what?"
"Your soul is one of the brightest and most wonderous souls I have ever laid eyes on." Cas stepped forward, and this time, you didn't step away. "You are a good person, a good hunter who has saved many people. Sam and Dean love you deeply, as do many people you meet and befriend. They don't care for your looks or your abilities. They care about you, as a person, as do I."
Tears shone in your eyes, some of the haunted darkness vanishing from your face. "I don't know what to say," you murmured, laughing slightly. "That was...That was exactly what I needed Cas, thank you."
He smiled. "You are welcome. Now, may I take you out to dinner? I would like to see you dressed up."
Grinning, you nodded and stepped forward, giving him a tight hug. He stiffened slightly before hugging back, happy to see that the poisonous, doubting thoughts had disappeared from your mind. You stepped back and beamed up at him before giving Dean a hug as well. The green-eyed hunter, pressed a kiss to the side of your head and whispered something quietly. You giggled.
After you'd rushed off to get ready, Dean turned to the angel standing quietly by the wall. "Thanks man," he rasped. Cas could be imagining it, but those were tears in Dean's eyes. "She-She really needed that. Sam and I, we've never really been able to cheer her up like that. It was an oversight in our part."
"No need to feel guilty, Dean," Cas said. "Sometimes we just have to hear things from people we don't expect to hear things from."
Dean took a long drink of whiskey.
.
You and Cas did go to dinner. You wore a beautiful red dress that hung off your shoulders. Cas had complimented you many times before flying you both to a restaurant a few towns over.
You'd laughed and laughed, and when the night was over, you fell asleep in his shoulders under the stars.
Cas gazed at you and wondered how someone so wonderful and beautiful and good could ever doubt herself so much.
Summary: Y/n gets sick while Sam and Dean are out on a long hunt, and Cas is left to take care of her.
Warnings: None.
Rating: Fluff.
Word Count: 494 (y’all this one’s reaaaaal short, whoops sorry.)
Title: Tomorrow.
It had started with a simple cough and a stuffy nose. It was maybe a day into their most recent hunt, and Dean and Sam had insisted that Castiel take her back to the bunker. Now, Castiel stares at her, unsure of what to do as she lies down on her bed and coughs loudly. Castiel stands by her, a torn expression on his face. He was sure he was meant to go back to the motel, help the Winchesters with the case, but…
He tilts his head as she looks up at him, her face flushed. “Cas?” She croaks, and her cheeks turn a bright red as she covers her mouth, as if surprised at her own voice. Castiel moves over closer to her, kneeling by the bed.
“Yes, y/n? Do you need anything?” She swallows, and coughs into the blanket.
“I- well, water would be nice, bu-” Castiel is gone in an instant and back with a glass of water, the quickness of it all disorients her, and she clutches onto the sheets as the room spins. “C-cas, don’t do that again,” she squeezes her eyes shut and exhales shakily. “I’m good Cas- you need to go back with Dean and Sam, they might need your help.” Castiel shakes his head as he helps her sit up, handing her the water and keeping his hand on the small of her back as he sits down next to her.
“They can pray to me if they need me,” he says, his head tilting as he watches her sip the water. She hands the half-finished cup back to him and sighs.
“Cas, really. I just need to get some sleep and I’ll be fine. Sam and Dean need you right now, they could be in danger.” He shakes his head slowly.
“If they need me, they can pray. Otherwise, I am staying here with you.” She sighs, and lays down on her side, bringing her arms to her chest.
“I’m not that sick, Cas.” Cas looks down at her, and shrugs.
“I’m not needed over there right now, so I might as well take care of you.” He pulls the blankets up around her and lies back against the headboard. “I enjoy your company anyways,” he says. Y/n laughs, and shakes her head.
“I’m sick, Castiel.” He smiles slightly, and gazes down at her.
“That does not change the fact that I enjoy your company,” he whispers, and pushes a strand of her hair out of her face. “You are very fun to be around, y/n. Even when sick.” She rolls her eyes and hugs his arm.
“Well, that’s good to know.” She mutters, sighing contently.
As Castiel stares down at her while she drifts off to sleep, he can’t quite figure out if the blush is from her fever, or his attempt at confessing his feelings for her. He tilts his head and a small smile appears on his face; there’s always tomorrow.
_____________________________________
Tags: Feel free to ask to be added/removed from tags at any time!
SPN: @thatshellfiredean , @elma-shay
Liked it? Leave feedback, it lets me know what you guys like, what you want to see more of, and helps me improve in my writing.
Castiel’s fingertips trace intricate patterns of devotion inthe afterglow haze of sweat glistening the soft dimpled landscape of your back where you lay languid upon his heaving torso; your spent body and the tangled sheets tuck seamlessly into his loving embrace.
You stir in the protection of his cocooning arms and hum an incoherent sigh of confessed affection in half-conscious blissful torpor. It’s not how you intended to divulge the depth of your love for the angel for the first time. Fortunately, this is one of those instances where he understands precisely what you mean without you needing to spell it out for him.
Nose nuzzling the sweet scent of your hair, his lips presslight to your forehead; a contented growl pulsates from chest to throat to tongue to tickle the sensitive stretch of skin where his kiss-bruised pout lingers. He feels the same outpouring of infinite fondness you do. You feel as much as hear the rumbling bass-inflection of breath when he speaks his answer to your confession. “Me too, honeybee. Indubitably.”
Sated smile caressing the curve of your mouth, you drift into dreaming.
Summary: Castiel wants to keep y/n safe, and he becomes a little clingy.
Warnings: Fluff? Angst (maybe)?
Rating: Fluffy-angst.
A/n: This is my first time writing for Cas, (I adore him!) I hope y’all like it!
Title: Too Late.
Castiel sighs as he stares down at her, his arms hanging by his sides limply. H can’t help but to notice how peaceful she looks in the moment. The scratches on her cheek from the hunt earlier were already healed- he’d made sure of that earlier. his breath catches as she sighs softly, rolling over in her sleep. He cocks his head to the side as he studies her, his lips parting. Castiel- in a momentary trance, reaches out to y/n, brushing a strand of her hair out of her face. As he does, Castiel strokes her cheek with the back of his hand. He pulls away suddenly as she stirs, his heart stopping as she rolls over once more, leaving her back towards him. He lets out a soft sigh, and walks away, confused at his own actions. He tries to wrap his head around the possible reasons for why he’s done that, but he couldn’t think of any.
He cared for her deeply, and would do anything to protect y/n- just like he would for her brothers. Still, he’d never felt the need to be near Sam; to hold him. He’d never stepped protectively in from of Dean when the only threat was another man. He hadn’t felt the need to put his arms around them and hold them tight. None of them, except y/n.
Castiel stares at y/n and blinks slowly.
He’d never felt the need to be around anyone as much as her. The feeling had slowly consumed him, persuading him to spend every possible second with her, watching over her, protecting her.
So, Castiel stays there, thinking about what could make him act this way for hours. He only moves from his spot when y/n wakes up, letting out a small yelp before telling him to leave her room. Castiel vanishes without a word, reappearing to the hall just outside her door. She’d told him to go to the kitchen, but the thought of being that far away pained him.
When y/n leaves her room, she sees Castiel staring at the wall with his head titled in concentration. She can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking about as she walks past him. He immediately turns and follows after her, his blue eyes piercing into the back of her head as she moves forward. Y/n closes her e/c eyes, trying to calm herself as she moves into the empty kitchen.
Huh, Sam and Dean must still be asleep. They’re usually up by now…
“Yes, they are still asleep.” Castiel’s voice startles her; he hadn’t said a word to her since she woke up. “But there’s no need to be alarmed.”
“Hey! Don’t read my mind- stay out of my head.” She grumbles. Regret instantly fills her when his blue eyes fill with sadness. She grunts, and closes her eyes. “Sam and Dean have explained this to you Castiel. It’s rude.” He tilts his head and the sadness is replaced with confusion.
“But,” he stops himself, instead nodding. “I’m sorry y/n.”
She sighs, moving to the fridge. Castiel’s chest bumps into her back as he follows her, accidentally moving too close. He backs up wordlessly, only enough to no longer be touching her.
Something snaps in y/n, and she whirls around, startling Castiel as her eyes narrow. “You don’t have to follow me everywhere,” she says coolly.
Castiel flinches slightly. “Y/n, I-”
“I don’t need to be protected at all times.” Her voice stays even and cold, and as Castiel stares at her, he wishes she’d yell. Her calm voice doesn’t match her angry expression, and it confuses Castiel. He opts to stare at the ground instead. As y/n tries to collect herself, Dean and Sam appear in the kitchen.
They walk in cautiously, the commotion waking them up.
“I’m sorry,” Castiel repeats and looks away. “I didn’t know you felt this way.” Before Dean can ask what’s going on, Castiel turns from her and flickers out of sight.
Dean raises his eyebrows. “So, what was all that about?” He pats y/n’s head and ruffles her hair before sitting down.
“Castiel’s been really protective lately,” she sighs.
He nods and squints in thought. “Yeah, I noticed he’d been hanging around you more. You know what that’s about?” Y/n shrugs, sinking back against the couch.
“I know he’s just protecting me- like you guys do, but…” She closes her eyes.
“Well, kiddo, I love you, don’t get me wrong, but you were sorta harsh on the poor fellow. He doesn’t know much better- although he should.” Dean grumbles slightly, and shakes his head. “But, he has good intentions, there’s no doubting that.” Y/n rolls her eyes slightly, sighing deeply as she closes her eyes once more in concentration.
Dean cocks an eyebrow at her. “Sis? You gonna apologize, or…?” Y/n’s eyes open again, and she meets Dean’s gaze.
“Yeah, yeah. I am, it’s just, he’s no-” her eyes close in concentration once more, and she sighs again. “He isn’t answering me.”
Dean sighs and closes his eyes briefly.
There’s a moment of silence before he opens one eye cautiously, and raises an eyebrow in confusion when Castiel doesn’t appear. He opens his eyes, and sighs rather loudly.
“Castiel? Hey, Cas, bud?”
Another moment of silence, and he shrugs and stands up. Before he walks away he pats y/n’s head and walks over to Sam, whose stayed oddly silent in this whole ordeal.
“We’re gonna go get some supplies; grocery’s…normal people stuff.” Dean sighs and rolls his eyes, being over dramatic. “Sammy insists on it. See ya, sis.”
Sam glances at y/n as he stands up and smiles bitterly. “Sorry, y/n/n. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” He puts his hand on her shoulder briefly before leaving with Dean.
———
Castiel sighs as he stares down at her, his arms hanging limply by his side.
“Y/n, I figured it out. I know why I need to be near you. I do love you, but not Like I love Sam and Dean…I love you, like-like…” Castiel closes his eyes.”Y/n, I do not desire food. I don’t desire drink, sleep…but I desire one thing; dreams.” He opens his eyes, the bright blue deepens as tears pool up in his eyes. “In dreams, I could be near you. Endlessly, with you, spending all my time by your side. In my dreams, we could be together…and that is what I desire. But, I realize now that this…want- this need, is not something that I can have. I have tried my best to win your affections…Sam and Dean told me that when you spend more time with someone, they’re love for you grows. I thought,” he pauses, and his eyes flutter shut. “I was foolish enough to believe that if I spent time by your side, that you would love me.” His eyes open again, his gaze more intense than it has ever been as he reaches out to her. He brushes a strand of y/n’s hair out of her face and presses his warm palm to her cheek. “There’s nothing more that I want, and I do not understand. I do not understand why this is happened, or when it happened. I do not know how to control it, nor do I want to. Y/n, I think…I think I…” Castiel pulls away as y/n stirs slightly, his eyes widening.
He is gone before y/n’s eyes open, and the first ray of morning seeps through the curtains.
Request: 'Tis the day of mon and I was wondering if I could send a request??? One where the reader is Dean's twin sister and is in a secret relationship with Cas until dean or sam walks in on them kissing or something? Dean ends up getting really mad and fights with the reader
Request: Is it Monday? I think it's Monday. Could I ask for a one-shot where the reader is Sam and Dean's younger sister and dating Cas, and one day becomes really sick? (Fever, sneezing, sore throat, etc.) I've kinda got all of those symptoms at the moment and your other sick!reader imagines were fantastic :) Thank you!
“Y/N, you okay?” Dean asked, watching as you shuffled into the library, a mug of tea cradled in your clammy hands.
“Aces,” you answered in a raspy voice, sitting across from him.
“You sure? You look like shit.”
“So do you,” you said, “we’re twins. We look the same.”
“Oh no,” Dean said, shaking his head and waggling his finger at you. “You’re pale... is your nose running?”
Panicked, you swiped your arm under your nose, hoping to wipe away any evidence of your sickness. Sure enough, you had a wet mark on your sleeve.
“So... Let’s try this again, you okay, Kiddo?”
You glared at your brother, crossing your arms over your chest. “Don’t call me kiddo; you’re three minutes older than me.”
“Most peaceful three minutes of my life,” Dean snorted, still looking at you. “Look, I’m not blind and I’m not stupid. I can see you’re sick.”
“Maybe you’re sick and you’re just projecting,” you accused him, though you could feel your stomach churning uncomfortably from illness.
“Maybe you’re both stubborn asses.” Sam said from his seat at the table. “Neither of you ever admit when you’re sick, you know.”
“Alright, know it all,” you huffed, sniffling once before taking a sip of your tea.
“How’d you get sick, sicko?” Sam replied.
“Oh, nice one.”
“Better than anything you’ve said.”
“Children!” Dean boomed, stopping you from firing back at your little brother. “Y/N, answer the question; how’d you get sick? We haven’t left the bunker in days!”
You tried to act natural and not panicked, like you felt; the truth was, you’d been out of the bunker multiple times throughout your little hiatus in hunting. Castiel, your brothers’ best friend and your secret boyfriend, stopped by every day to sweep you away, taking you to some different country and place.
Of course, Sam and Dean couldn’t know that. Sam would probably be happy for you, but Dean tended to blow things out of proportion, and would freak out, maybe even scare the angel off. You may only be a few minutes younger than Dean, but he was ridiculously protective.
“I think my duffle bag might be carrying some germs,” you shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “I was going through it yesterday and that’s when I started to feel like shit.”
“Maybe Cas can heal you?” Sam suggested, looking to Dean for acceptance.
“Worth a shot,” Dean agreed.
“I’ll pray!” You offered, cringing at your own excitement. “I’m so over this cold,” you added. “Castiel,” you prayed, closing your eyes. “It’s me, your girl... girl Winchester. Uh, come here.” When you opened your eyes, Sam and Dean were staring at you, each sporting their own confused look. “I must be sicker than I thought- my mind’s all jumbled.” Sam and Dean seemed to accept your excuse, and looked around for Castiel to appear.
In the blink of an eye, Castiel appeared behind you. “Y/N, are you okay? Your prayer was strange. It lacked your usual se-”
“I don’t feel well,” you interrupted him. “Sam and Dean told me to call you- can you heal me?”
It was then that Castiel seemed to notice your brothers, and took a small step away from you.
“I could heal you,” Castiel started, and a smile started appear on your lips, “but the illness will only come back later. You need to overcome it the first time yourself.”
“What kind of bullshit is that?” You demanded, frowning.
“It’s not bullshit,” he chided you. “My grace can wipe out the illness, but your body will have not built up a resistance to it, and the next time you come across the same sickness, you will contract it again.”
“That... That makes sense,” Sam commented.
“It’s stupid,” you and Dean grumbled.
“I will help you get better, though,” Castiel offered. “I have seen various television programs where one character helps another recover from an illness. I believe chicken soup is required.” Before you could even open your mouth, Cas had disappeared, leaving you and your brothers staring at the spot he once stood.
“So if Cas is dealing with Y/N-” Dean started.
“Hey!” You protested.
“-Then we can go out!”
“We could’ve all gone out together,” you stated.
“Boys night,” Dean said, dismissing your statement.
You rolled your eyes, but Sam seemed a bit excited to just hang out with Dean, so you kept your mouth shut. You had plenty of one-on-one time with each brother, but they rarely had moments without you.
Besides, the longer they were out of the bunker, the more alone time you had with your boyfriend.
“Why don’t you guys go now? You can make a day of it,” you suggested.
Sam and Dean looked at each other, and with a single look, they knew they both agreed to it. “Let me get some shoes on,” Dean said, rising to his feet. “And you,” he started, staring at you, “go back to bed. Try and get some sleep.”
“Yes sir,” you said, rolling your eyes at him.
“I’m serious,” he said, then left the library.
“Are you sure you’ll be fine alone with Cas?” Sam asked, giving you his patented guilty look. “You’re sick, I don’t want you to be bored or anything.”
“I’ll probably just fall asleep,” you assured him. “You two go have fun. We’ll do something when I’m feeling better.”
Sam seemed to feel much better about that, and nodded quickly. As soon as Dean came back into the room, Sam jumped to his feet, ready to leave.
Dean kissed the top of your head, quickly pulling away and wiping his lips afterwards. “You’re sweaty.”
“I’m sick,” you reminded him.
Sam offered you a smile as he and Dean walked to the garage, leaving you alone.
You sat in the library all by yourself for a moment, and without your brothers around, you felt your energy draining. Your shoulders sagged forward, a pressure built in your sinuses, and you clenched your jaw, hoping to stop the incessant churning in your stomach.
“You should rest,” Castiel stated, appearing beside you. “Your soup will be ready soon.”
“Carry me?” You didn’t care how needy you sounded, how absolutely childish; you felt disgusting, and Castiel was the only person who could help you.
Cas didn’t seem put off by your request, in fact, he seemed almost excited to do it. He scooped you up, cradling your body close to his. He kept his steps short and steady, scared of jostling you too much and causing any discomfort. You rested your head in the crook of his neck, your sweaty skin sticking to his.
After Castiel placed you on your bed, he pulled your covers over you. “It’s too hot,” you whined, pushing at the blanket.
“You were not this whiny when Sam and Dean were here,” Cas commented, though his lips were tilted up in an adoring smile.
“They’d never let me hear the end of it,” you explained, finally managing to get the comforter down to your feet.
“I understand,” he assured you, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead- his lips were cool against your burning skin. “I wish I could heal you,” he whispered.
“You’re doing something better; taking care of me.”
“I don’t see how that’s better.”
“If you just healed me, I wouldn’t be gross, I’d be able to do anything you wanted, and we could kiss all day. But right now, I’m sick, disgusting, I’d probably throw up halfway through any kiss... But here you are, staying with me. You must really like me.”
“I assure you, it’s more than like,” Castiel said. “I’ll get you some soup.”
“Bring a bucket too,” you said, just as he disappeared.
You had just a moment to reflect on how happy you were you didn’t have diarrhea, when Castiel returned.
He held a bucket tucked under his arm, a bowl of soup grasped between his hands. He placed the bowl on your lap and set the bucket beside your bed before settling himself next to you.
You were already in the process of blowing on a spoonful of soup when Cas took the spoon and bowl from you, blowing on it himself. He then proceeded to feed you, his body turned completely to yours, sitting criss-cross applesauce.
“I can feed myself,” you stated- although you loved how he was taking care of you.
“Just let me help you,” he ordered, gaze hard with concentration as he continued to feed you.
By the time all the soup was gone, your stomach felt warm, but chills started to wrack your whole body.
Castiel rose to his feet and pulled your comforter up to your shoulders. “Would you like anything?”
“Water?”
Castiel gave you a single nod before disappearing from the room.
You were alone for maybe a second before Castiel came back, a glass of water held in one hand. “Should we do something? Or should you sleep? Rest is important. I could play some music for you. I know you like Falling Men and those other bands. Or we-”
“Cas!” You shouted, interrupting his ramblings. “I think I’ll just take a nap.”
“Okay,” Cas’ shoulders slumped in relief, and an easy smile spread over his lips. “Should I stay, or-?”
“Please stay,” you said, folding back your covers so he could lay next to you.
Once Cas was settled beside you, you rested your head on his chest while he rubbed your back and ran his fingers through your hair. Under the spell of Cas’ ministrations, you fell asleep quickly.
It was with a whimper of discomfort that you woke up. You snuggled closer to the warm body beside you. Castiel’s arm tightened around you, and his other hand came down to cup your face, making you look up at him.
“Are you okay?”
“As okay as I can be,” you said, trying to offer him a warm smile- it was more of a painful grimace than anything.
“I’m sorry,” Cas sighed, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours.
The kiss was solely to comfort you; it wasn’t going anywhere, wasn’t going to heat up. Castiel just wanted to be close to you, to express how deeply he cared for you.
You would have been content simply kissing him until you felt better, had your bedroom door not opened, ruining the moment.
“Hey, how are you-” It was Dean’s voice, and you and Castiel quickly broke apart. You sat up quickly, your vision swimming at your movement. “What the Hell?!” Dean shouted, eyes darting between you and your boyfriend.
“What’s going on?” Sam asked, pushing past Dean so both of your brothers were in your room.
You felt your stomach churn at that moment. You’d been so careful! And suddenly all those months of sneaking around were going to waste. But that wasn’t the only reason your stomach was roiling. And in a second you had your head in your bucket, the soup from early coming up as Castiel kept your hair safe and rubbed your back.
“They were kissing,” Dean stated, voice hard. He seemed indifferent to your illness at that moment- if anything, Cas taking care of you made him madder.
Sam was staring at you in concern, apparently not hearing Dean. Then it seemed to hit him what Dean said, “They were kissing?” Sam said, eyes widening. “Are you two together?”
You glanced at Cas, who appeared panicked and nervous and honestly looked sicker than you did. And this was partly your fault- it was your idea to keep your relationship a secret. Castiel wanted to tell your brothers about the two of you from the beginning, and you told him no.
You had to save him.
Wiping the little bit of puke from the side of your mouth, you confessed, “Yeah, we are.” The reaction your brothers had couldn’t have been more different; a huge smile crept over Sam’s face, whereas Dean’s face turned a shade of red, setting a nice background to his frown and angry green eyes.
“Since when?” Dean’s voice was calm, too calm.
“A few months.” You weren’t breaking eye contact. Showing weakness now would be like signing a death warrant.
“And you decided to hide this from us? From your family?”
“What can I say? It’s a family trait.”
“Oh no, you’re not turning this around on me. This is about you, and how you decided to lie.”
“I never actually lied,” you said, shrugging as if you were totally indifferent to this situation- on the inside, you felt like shaking and running away. “It’s not my fault you never asked.”
“I shouldn’t have had to ask!”
“Cas, give me and my brothers a minute,” you requested, still staring at your twin.
“I’ll stay with you,” he offered, nervously looking at Dean.
“I’d rather you not be here for this. I’ll pray to you once this is handled.”
Castiel nodded and disappeared- you could practically hear his sigh of relief at getting an escape.
“Sam, are you okay with Cas and I dating?”
“Well, yeah,” he answered, glancing at Dean. “But why didn’t you tell us?”
“I thought you guys would try to talk me out of it. Hunters don’t get a happy ending, and I thought you would remind me of that.”
“Of course we wouldn’t,” Sam assured you, his eyes softening. “We want you to be happy. I want both of you to be happy.”
“Well I’m not happy,” Dean stated.
“Dean-” Sam started, but stopped as Dean held up a silencing hand.
“Cas is my best friend. He’s part of this family. Did you even think about what would happen if the two of you broke up?”
And suddenly you understood Dean’s anger. He didn’t want to lose one of the only people he had. If you and Cas split, it’d be awkward, and you wouldn’t put it past the angel to just stay away.
“Cas and I are in it for the long run,” you said. “I’ve liked him since we first met, and I haven’t said anything for years. I thought it was a crush, thought it would go away with time. And when he died after the leviathans, and when he died and went to Purgatory with you, I didn’t think I’d recover.” Your voice shook at the reminder of the days and weeks of pain you’d endured during those times.
“Dean, she’s right. I was with her when you were in Purgatory. If you hadn’t come back, I don’t know how long she would have lasted,” Sam added.
“And I can’t tell you how happy I’ve been since we started dating,” you added, finally settling for an honest and almost pleading appeal. “You’re my twin, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”
Dean was silent, his shoulders being held rigidly, his eyes hard on you. And then, all of a sudden, they softened. “You should have told us.” He was quieter now, chiding, but not scolding.
“So we’re okay?” You felt your shoulders slump in relief.
“Yes,” Dean said, nodding. “But mostly because I wanna get out of this room. It smells like throw up.”
“Then clean out my bucket!” You pleaded, holding it out to him.
“Ha! Get your boyfriend to do it.”
“Sam?” You pouted at your younger brother, but he just shook his head, face scrunched up in disgust. “Fine! Castiel? Baby? We’re all good.”
“Okay, you can’t call him that,” Dean stated. “That’s what we call my car!”
“Sweetheart? Sugar plum? Blue eyed warrior of God?”
“What are you doing?” Castiel appeared beside you, an amused smile on his lips.
“Annoying Dean,” you shrugged, noting your twin’s grossed-out face.
“Normal activity, okay,” he said.
“Cas, can you please...?” You finished your request by holding your puke-bucket up.
Castiel nodded and took it from you. “Do you feel better?”
“After puking my guts up, yeah, a little bit.”
“Good.” Castiel then disappeared, leaving you with a small smile on your face.
Dean nodded at you and smiled, then walked away.
“If you and Cas have a baby, can you name it after me?” Sam asked, leaning in your doorway.
“I wish I still had my bucket of puke so I could throw it at you.”
Sam couldn’t hide his amused smile as he left your room.
When Castiel returned with a cleaned out bucket, you pulled him back onto your bed, instantly snuggling up to him.
“You know, I didn’t fully leave you with your brothers,” Cas confessed. “I stayed around, listening in, ready to help you if you needed it.” He paused for a moment, then continued, “When I was in Purgatory, you were the only thing keeping me going.”
You looked up at him, adoration for the angel beside you absolutely flowing through you. “I love you, you know.”
“I love you too.”
In that moment you had it all- a happy family, an amazing boyfriend, and the possibility of a happy future.
Dean: When Dean realizes the two of you are getting close, he pushes you away, just like he always does, because he is afraid to lose the people he loves. So, you stay around, absolutely refusing to leave. You stay around when he snaps at you or yells, and don’t take the bait to yell back, no matter how much you want to. You stay when he tells you to go, or storms out himself to go for long drives in his Baby. You quietly declare to him, each time he asks you to leave, or when he returns from his own wanderings, “I’m not leaving you, Dean Winchester. I won’t quit you, ever.” You know running away is his way of dealing with feelings. You make sure to hug him every time he comes back, without fail. A good hug too, the warmest that you have. You don’t think of it as “housewifey” or subservient. Instead, you understand, that what Dean really needs, more than grand declarations of love or sexy times, is a constant, loving support. In his world, things are always complicated and hard and painful. But, if you remember what he told you of his heaven correctly, Dean’s best memories are simple ones, spent doing mundane things, and feeling safe to do them. Eventually, slowly, Dean relaxes around you, once he realizes you aren’t going anywhere. That’s when your story really starts. He accepts that you’re here to stay, and comes to terms with his own feelings, reciprocating in the gentle way you always knew was there. When you kiss Dean, it’s not a sex invitation, it is tenderness and safety. It’s everything.
Sam: Something about Sam, makes you feel a little awkward, perhaps verging on shy. That so isn’t you, or is it? You can’t tell up from down when you’re with Sam. His commanding presence takes your breath away, and it’s not just his height. So, one day, you steel your nerves, and go for it. You kiss him. He’s taken aback, because he can’t imagine a beautiful girl like you loving him. Sam, unlike Dean, deeply appreciates conversations. So you attempt to start one, instead blurting out, “I love you.” A grin spreads over his face. But it fades a little, and he sits you down. “I have to tell you..” You listen, knowing that whatever he says, he really needs someone to listen. “I’m, not the good person you think I am. I’m broken, and tainted. I had demon blood in me. I have been to hell. I started..” His voice breaks a little, and he looks down. “I started the Apocalypse. I betrayed Dean... Everyone, really.” You take his large, calloused hand in yours. “Sam. I know.” He looks up, trying to hide his expression, but failing. “Yes, Cas told me everything. About both of you Winchesters. Sam, you are better than just a good person. You’re a hero, and everything you’ve done in the past? It doesn’t affect how I see you. I knew exactly what I was getting into when I fell in love with you. I’m not going anywhere, Sam. I mean it, when I say that I love you. You can’t change the past, and I can’t either, but the future is wide open, if you’ll have me, Sam Winchester.” Sam takes a moment, and then, instead of answering, he kisses you. Really kisses you. Your Sam, as much as he dislikes himself, he’s yours, and you’ll never stop loving him.
Castiel: First off, how on earth did you manage to fall in love with a freaking kinda Angel of the Lord? It’s kind of an overwhelming thing, if you stop to really think about it. So instead, you think about the kind way he deals with everyone he comes across, caring equally about the grumpy old cashier as the little kid who runs up and says hi for no reason. You think about how adorable he is with pets, and how his face lit up when you enlisted him to help you sneak animals into the bunker. In fact, everything about Cas is endearing and adorable. When he mojo’s up, you also remember how much you respect him. That a being with almost infinite power can be the same as the person who cares about little things, like learning to make the perfect PB&J. One day, you decide, you just need to tell him, so you go to him while he’s writing in the library, helping translate ancient texts. “Cas?” He looks up at you, blue eyes expectantly looking at you.”Can we talk?” He smiles. “Of course.” You sit, and try and stumble through it. It’s hard to say, now that you’re here. Hard to meet his eyes. “I-I just wanted to tell you. I like you. As... more than a friend. Actually, I think I love you.” He looks a little befuddled. “Like, in a human relationship sort of way.” You nod. “yes.” “I think, I’d like that.” Later that night, snuggling up under Cas’s arm while watching a movie, you smile inside and out. Powerful Angel of the Lord, awkward, gentle human, the love of your life. Your relationship will probably never be traditional, it’s a little weird, a little awkward. And you love it for that.
