#realizing something

[friendshapedhorrors]

.

[jeyaar]

I think I just need to have fun with it

[girlbob-boypants]

Ohhhh I just had a realization about 14 and EW and the story leading into it

[cardiophileanonymous]

I was reading a fanfic I wrote when I was like 16 and...

“...why does this feel... nice?” he thought to himself. “I suddenly feel so... calm. But my heart is still beating so fast at the same time. Why...?”

“I think you’re the coolest person I know!” His heart rate increased at the other man’s words. It was amazing how in just one sentence, he could go from complete calm to feeling adrenaline shoot through his veins. But what was this feeling...?

Their eyes met for a brief moment in time. His heartbeat came to an abrupt stop before quickly picking back up again, faster than before.

“Hmm...” he thought. “What if it is true...? My heart stopped for a second in that battle and started up again— all because the two of us made eye contact! Could our heartbeats really have synced up...?”

He liked this new feeling he was getting used to. It felt like the heat of battle. The blood pumping action!

Back in high school, I wrote a fanfiction that is absolutely littered with this wording. Every single chapter references the heart or blood shooting through someone’s veins. You may wonder why this is significant. Well... I only realized I was a cardiophile a little over half a year ago now!

Tbh, I never really knew cardiophilia was a thing. Then one day, I heard about it for the first time in passing and couldn’t quite get the idea out of my head. It sort of just lingered in the back of my mind for like a month. I mean, who could get off to heartbeats, right? Anyway, I was writing a shit ton of Sastiel fanfiction, (yes I ship Sastiel more than Destiel, guilty as charged!) and decided to write up a quick sex scene between the two involving the kink. No real reason, just a little writing exercise. But then guess what? I was into it af, lol. More into it than any sex scene I’d written. Then it all hit me.

I was never squeamish. I always liked beating hearts. The heart was always the focal point I focused on while writing about characters falling in love. When I was eleven, I read a fanfic where the character’s one point of weakness for his crush to touch him... was his heart! It was my favorite fic, I think the only one I bookmarked on my computer when I was a kid. You wanted to piss me off? Have the villain kill people by taking their hearts out of their bodies, or hurt them via punching or clawing their chest. Those cult leaders wanting to carve Mulder and Scully’s hearts out for example? Fuck em! They’re the worst villains by far, disgusting! That’s the most important part of your body by far!

I can’t believe I could have gone my whole life without knowing this. I almost have to wonder... how many people do you think there are? Who have cardiophilia and don’t know it...? It makes me almost sad. Please tell me I’m not the only one who took embarrassingly long to realize this!

[dxrk-incxrnxte]

I used to think I was far too apathetic...

But now I’ve realized,

Its actually the opposite.

[living-earth-traveling-mind]

I only have best friends who have better best friends.

[yakeybadger]

Perhaps you already do know what is unknown but your love for the unknown prevents you from realizing it to keep you happy. It's a basic survival instinct. 

[antisocialphotographerarchi-blog]

cynthia muns psa just made me think about timeline since sh4s 2001 setting

but

idc its not like that game was super time oriented anyway.

because technically i have henry at 6 months post-game so it should be same year but nah im saying its 2013.

easier that way.

also cookie dough update: it tastes p good wish i could share.