PART SIX
summary: in which you and sevika are divorced. click to read chapters one, two, three, four, five and seven.
word count: 8562
thank you for all the support throughout this fic. we are nearing the end. happy reading!
~~~
The sound of Lianna and Ava’s bickering is what grounds you as you wash your hands.
You’re standing in the kitchen, brain running a mile a minute despite you knowing that everything will be okay. Lianna and Ava are sitting on the kitchen floor a few feet away. They’ve brought down a couple of Barbies from Ava’s room (in which you’ve noticed are all really fucked up) and now they’re deciding over which one is “the best.”
Gert and Sevika are installing the storm panels around the house while Grayson has disappeared to wherever Mel is. So you agreed to finish dinner, fighting off a sense of Deja Vu that keeps hitting you.
This is all too familiar.
Of course the presence of Lianna and Ava are what differs from your reality years ago. But it still feels like yesterday when you would be baking in this very same kitchen, spending endless hours getting lost in the craft. And beyond this being second-nature, it’s also registering that you’re stuck in this house for longer than you’ve anticipated.
Throughout this past week, there has been a nagging thought in the back of your brain about being here more often. But still. You never would have imagined that this would be happening so soon.
After searching through all of the cupboards (some things have been rearranged), you finally find the plates. It’s not long before you’re carrying a stack to the island countertop. You also spot a collection of smaller plates, some sparkly and others painted with cartoon characters on them. You smile smally at the sight, knowing that Sevika must have bought them for Ava.
“What movie should we watch?” You hear Lianna ask Ava.
You grab two of the juvenile plates from the cabinet.
“Spirit!”
Your heart squeezes at the suggestion.
“Aw, no. It’s too sad!” Lianna complains.
A snort leaves you.
You set all the plates evenly on the counter space.
You turn off the stove, you grab a cup for everyone.
It’s a routine song and dance.
“Alright!” A voice erupts and is followed by the sound of hands clapping. You jump from the startle. It’s Gert. She appears from the hallway, wiping her forehead with the back of her arm. “Storm panels are good to go. Everyone should be joining us shortly. Do you need help?”
***
The only noise that fills the atmosphere is the muted patter of rainfall along with the occasional clash of silverware. You chew each bite of your steak methodically, eyes downcast to the plate before you.
Across from you sits Grayson with Mel to her right. Gert and Lianna are to her left.
Sevika is to your right and Ava to your left.
You’d say that the only people currently jovial at the dinner table are the kids. They have their headphones on, eyes glued to their tablets while they eat their food. Usually, you don’t like for Ava to be occupied by technology. But you had made an exception for tonight. You didn’t want her to notice the obvious tension that was looming in the air.
You felt naive for thinking that everyone could ignore the elephant in the room and enjoy the evening. That is what you expected when everyone had filed into the kitchen to retrieve their plates.
But instead, you had been met with a looming silence; one that hasn’t left the house during the last 20 minutes.
Slowly, you shift your gaze to Mel. She’s already looking at you with a strange expression on her face. Before you can say anything, she diverts her attention to her plate, taking another bite of her steak.
You try to decipher what she could possibly be thinking–why she seems to be against something that she used to support so much.
She had been your shoulder to cry on for decades. She had been the first person to know about your growing crush on Sevika, something that felt like it came out of nowhere during your sophomore year of highschool. She had helped you think of a way to ask Sevika to junior-year prom. She had been supportive when you told her that you wanted to forego college; that you thought a different path to life would make you happier. She was the most supportive when Sevika had secretly dropped out of college during her sophomore year and immediately drove 20 hours to your apartment (which quickly became her home too). Mel had been your closest confidant, your best friend. Your sister.
You find yourself wishing that she could shove that stick out of her ass. You want her to be fully transparent. To really tell you what it is that has her acting in such a way, because this isn’t the Mel that you know.
You peer at her once more and there she is again, shifting her gaze from Sevika to you. Her chewing is slow. Calculating. As if she’s trying to find missing pieces to a puzzle. As if she’s using all of her energy to understand something that she just…can’t.
Sevika looks up from her plate. Her silverware falls to the table with a loud clatter. You flinch from the sound.
That’s when you notice that Sevika’s jaw is flexed.
Her ises, which are swirling pools of charcoal, flash while she flares her nose. You’ve only been on the receiving end of that glare a handful of times and you almost feel bad that it’s being directed to Mel.
“I’m not dealing with this shit for the rest of the night,” Sevika warns. Her voice is all steel, a clear indication that she’s at her wits end. “Whatever else you have to say, spit it out.”
The air is charged. Immediately, your posture straightens. Alarmed, you glance at Grayson and Gert. Hoping that they step in…hoping that they do something. But instead, they remain silent. Gert keeps her eyes on her plate, finding sudden interest in her food.
Grayson merely shakes her head before taking a hearty gulp of her beer.
Your throat dries.
Instinctively, your hand reaches out and rests on Sevika’s shoulder. Both her and Mel have yet to break their staring contest.
“Sev,” You find yourself saying. “It’s okay.”
“Except it's not.” She admonishes, voice growing thin.
With bated breath, you linger, wishing that she'll change her mind and drop the conversation.
Another crack of thunder sounds.
Your hand falls from her shoulder, adrenaline skyrocketing.
“I'm gonna be honest Mel, you're starting to piss me off,” Sev continue. “I know you're protective because of the things I said to you that night. I get it. But I'm a grown fucking woman. Has it not occurred to you that maybe this should have happened much sooner than it did?”
You wince as Sevika’s volume raises. “Sev.”
“No.” She snaps, eyes darting to you with incredible speed. You're surprised that her neck doesn't break with how sharply her head turns in your direction. And you almost fear that she’s grown angry at you too; that this entire ordeal with Mel has caused her to be unnerved by anyone within breathing distance.
But then you notice the firm assurance in her face. Her regard is unwavering, holding you with fierce eyes that display nothing but pure protectiveness.
Protectiveness for herself.
And for you.
It catches you off guard because it’s unfamiliar. It’s the complete opposite of the vulnerable (and tentative) bubble that has been surrounding her lately.
She grabs your hand, interlacing her fingers with yours. Tenderly, she presses a kiss against your fingertips which causes your eyes to widen.
Your jaw falls slack, searching her face for an answer. Because, certainly, this is not something that you two have agreed upon. There's not supposed to be any PDA in front of your friends, not while you're both trying to get adjusted to this—not while Sevika’s brain is still trying to catch up to her heart.
“Just let me speak.” She mutters.
Her hand squeezes yours.
She turns back to a gobsmacked Mel. “I’m still in love with her.” Sevika adds. “And she knows.”
You watch Mel process everything that's being thrown at her. She seems a bit stricken, blinking silently while she observes the way that Sevika cradles your hand with both of hers; how Sevika’s thumb rubs soothing circles against your skin.
“We’ve decided to take this second chance.” Sevika continues. “At first we agreed to wait before telling everyone but…”
Your heart races at the way the room stills. Mel’s jaw is slack, seemingly struggling to respond due to her daze.
You don't bring yourself to face Gert and Grayson. You can only imagine what they're thinking right now…
Sevika squeezes your hand once more, which has the effect that she intends. Despite your quickening pulse, you allow your muscles to unspool with the knowledge that she's by your side. None of tonight's events would have ever been on your bingo card this morning.
But Sevika is sitting beside you, steadfast in her love and respect. She has done the very thing you never thought she would do—not this soon.
Surely, that’s enough to ground you.
“You’re…” Mel stammers.
You swallow hard, shifting in your seat nervously. “This is still very new to us. It's only been a week.” You explain. “But it’s true. We’re…together.” You pause. “In a sense.”
Realization dawns on Mel’s features. “...A week. That was last…”
And that's when you know that she finally gets it.
She braces against her chair, cogs in her brain practically turning a mile a minute.
“It was the same day I broke up with Hazel.” Sevika admits.
You do your best to shove that night to the back of your mind. As amazing as it was, the last thing you needed to be thinking about was how easily Sevika had carried you to your bedroom. How she had kissed you with mind-numbing desperation, barely letting you catch your breath before she pressed you into your duvet, towering over you…covering you with her body, licking and biting and pushing into you with—
“And I know what I told you has worried you.” Sevika adds. “I appreciate your concern and I appreciate you being protective. But this divorce is on the both of us. Not just her. We’ve both been rash and naive and stubborn. We’ve hurt each other equally. And it was a mutual decision to give this another shot.”
“I…” Mel shakes her head. “I didn't realize…I had no idea—”
“Because you didn't ask. You assumed and you meddled,” Sevika’s eye twitches. “I need you to know that I’m pissed because she's supposed to be your best friend. And yet you didn't have the decency to give her the benefit of the doubt or even just have a simple fucking conversation with her.”
Your gut stirs as your struggle to filter through a magnitude of emotions. But the one that truly overpowers you is confusion.
A nagging memory from last week, the one when you impulsively called Sevika, filters into your brain. You remember talking about her breakup with Hazel. You remember not being able to stop yourself from confessing your feelings to Sevika. You remember practically putting your heart on the line, begging her not to crush it. And you remember being relieved when she didn't.
But what you also remember, a passing comment that you hadn't paid attention to before, was when she mentioned having a conversation with Mel about you.
Sevika hadn't specifically discussed what that conversation with Mel entailed.
But it seems that the conversation was monumental enough to have Mel acting the way that she has been.
Mel leans forward, reaching towards you before stopping midair. She allows her arm to fall, palm resting against the dinner table merely inches from your plate.
“It’s fine,” You finally say, an attempt to ward off what you know is about to come.
“It's not.” She begins, sincerity bleeding through.
“You were looking out for Sev.” Which, to an extent, you can understand.
“I was being unfair to you.” She shakes her head as her eyes begin to swim. “I wasn’t being considerate. I never even bothered to truly talk to you about this.”
You can't help but stare back at her; at her furrowed brows and deep frown and sorrowful eyes. You know that she’s being genuine. Mel isn't the type to apologize if she doesn't mean it. However, there's still something that remains slightly unsettled within you. There's still unanswered questions.
But you don't want to ask them here. Not in front of everyone.
“I’m sorry for hurting you,” Mel adds.
You nod while blinking slowly. “You were being a pain. ” You grumble, struggling to suppress a smile while you roll your eyes. “I don't like it when you meddle.”
“I know.”
“...Like I get it to an extent but Jesus Christ, please learn to have some faith in me.”
Mel was known for meddling, a trait that your mom found amusing yet endearing all the same. A trait that you’ve always tried to talk to Mel about—to let her know that it isn't her job to always try to fix everything (and everyone). You rarely accepted help from her. You rarely accepted help from anyone besides Sevika. But that didn't stop her and the rest of your friends from insisting.
This time, however, she had gone too far.
Mel mirrors your smile, a watery laugh escaping her. Her shoulders relax while life filters back into her eyes.
“Well,” Gert claps her hands.
When you look at her, you notice that she’s grinning impishly. Her gaze slots between you and Sevika suggestively.
“I knew I wasn't fucking delusional. Pay up.” Her voice is smug. She holds her hand out towards Grayson, who grumbles in return.
Your jaw falls slack while the scene unfolds in front of you. Grayson almost seems annoyed while she retrieves her wallet, fishing out some cash before handing it to Gert.
“To be fair, I wasn't disagreeing with you.” Grayson argues.
Gert pockets the money quickly. “You were weeks off.”
“Wait.” You blink rapidly. “What?”
“We bet on you guys.” Grayson admits. She at least has the decency to appear sheepish.
“From what I was hearing, it seemed like something was going on.” Gert chimes in. “Gray was adamant that if you were to rekindle, it wouldn’t be until after her vow renewal—”
Grayson flexes her jaw. “They said they were just friends!”
“People say that all the time when they're secretly fucking.” Gert is laughing, shoving Grayson amicably.
“Whatever.” Grayson huffs while folding her arms across her chest, clearly disgruntled about the money she lost. “Luck was on your side this time.”
Your arm is tugged gently, pulling your attention back to Sevika. She’s already regarding you, suppressing a snort when she sees your incredulous expression.
Your mind swarms while you try to register the fact that your best friends have been betting on you.
“Better?” Sevika murmurs. The question is serious despite her chilled demeanor. You can tell that she truly wants to make sure that your worries have been alleviated.
“Yeah.” You respond, chest becoming warm. “I’m okay.”
She regards you for a few seconds more.
You want to kiss her. You want to run your fingers through her hair and to feel her body pressed against yours.
But you push the thought aside and smile instead.
Her lips part slightly when you do so, zeroing in on your mouth while her pupils dilate. Unbelievably dazed from her intense inspection, you take a sip from your sparkling water and clear your throat.
“A fucking bet,” You whisper absentmindedly, angling yourself to Sevika so only she can hear. You keep your eyes on your sparkling water.
A dry chuckle erupts from her. Then, “Honestly, I’m impressed that Gray thought I’d be able to hold out until the vow renewal.” She sounds amused.
Your lashes flutter when she leans into you, her lips pressing against your temple. It's a quick peck. It causes your gut to pull. Seconds later, she whispers, “...But I hope you know that would never happen. I nearly waited three years to get you back and I would have gone fucking insane if I had to wait another day. ”
Your eyes widen at the confession while your breathing stutters.
The reaction catches the attention of everyone else in the room.
“Everything okay?” Mel asks.
Somehow, you’ve managed to break out into a full coughing fit due to choking on your spit. Sevika has already retracted back to her seat, and out of the corner of your eye, you notice the slight shake in her shoulders. She coughs into her elbow, an evil disguise, as uneven gusts of breath leave her. She’s laughing.
“I’m—Uh,” You’re interrupted by another fit of coughs. You give Mel a thumbs up, trying to ignore her growing concern. “I’m okay!”
Sevika pats your back lightly. “Easy there.” And when you glance at her, you notice the way her eyes flash…how she rolls her lips into her mouth, suppressing a smirk, while an air of smugness rolls off of her. She’s always enjoyed getting a rise out of you.
Your eyes squint and you reach out to shove her. “You’re so annoying.”
***
“When did you make the bet?” You ask, drying your hands on a nearby towel.
You’ve just finished cleaning the dishes and Gert is standing beside you. Everyone else is chatting in the sitting room, their voices traveling with the sound of Lianna and Ava’s laughter.
Gert’s lip twitches. “Is it important?"
“It’s incredibly important.”
Gert regards you for a few breaths with contemplation written all over her features.
Her mouth twists. She inhales deeply before exhaling.
“Well,” She begins. “I thought things had been a bit odd with Sev at work, this week more than anything. She’s been more lenient than usual and actually fucking chilled out for majority of the shifts.”
…Which you know is rare.
Sevika is way too type A when it comes to the shop.
“...I also may have heard her talking to you over the phone a few times. During her lunch break,” Gert rubs the back of her neck. “I didn’t hear much but I knew something must have been brewing for her to be able to communicate with you in good spirits.”
Your jaw falls slack at that.
“And,” Gert continues. “I think you may have forgotten that you both share your location with me.” She snorts. “She’s been over at your place a few times this week, no?”
“Oh god.” You grumble, eyes squinting shut as your hands fall onto your face.
“She declined my call one night. I checked her location and saw that she was over at your place. Again.”
Of course it was the fucking location.
It’s almost comical to think that you and Sevika could keep such a major thing from your group of friends. Although you both had agreed to this, it nearly feels as if you were doomed from the start.
“Gray didn’t want to believe me of course,” Gert explains. “I texted her a few days ago and she said that it was apparently too soon. That she didn’t think either of you would have the balls to act on your feelings until weeks from now, which obviously isn't until after the vow renewal. And even then, she kept saying that might be too soon.”
Your eyes peel open.
“How much?” You mumble.
“That we bet?”
You nod.
Gert breaks into a self-satisfied smirk. “60 bucks.”
“...”
“...”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
She erupts into hearty guffaws while your arms fold across your chest.
“Hun,” She says sweetly, pulling you into her side, “You know it’s all in good fun. At the end of the day, we’re happy for you both.”
“Yeah, yeah.” You grumble. Your heart melts despite your vexation. “Just don’t give Sev too much trouble about it, alright? We were hoping to wait a while before telling anyone.”
She hums. There’s a hesitation before she says, “So, do you give me permission to make another bet then? I have an opinion about how long it’ll take before you two are living together agai–”
“Fuck off,” You snap.
She swears under her breath, snickering while you step out of her embrace. All too quickly, you're wrapping your arm around her neck. It catches her off guard and throws her off balance. You’ve pulled her into a headlock.
She laughs harder. “All I’m saying is that I have a knack for this sort of thing,” Then she taps your arm. You don’t let up and instead tighten your grip. “I’m like a psychic or something.”
“You won one fucking bet,” You giggle. “And you practically had some of the proof handed to you, dimwit.”
You’re not able to keep her trapped for long. You and Gert used to horse around a lot more when you were younger. But there’s still small moments like tonight, when you find yourself falling back into the habit.
Despite your speed, height and limberness, Gert is stockier and definitely more muscular. She breaks free from your hold within seconds.
“You’ve gotten stronger,” She appraises. “But I hope you know that there’ll definitely be payback for that.”
Your eyes widen and you watch as she begins to crouch down.
You’re able to dodge her at the last second, a curse leaving your mouth. “Sev!” You call, sprinting out of the kitchen. You can tell that Gert is hot on your heels. “I need backup!”
“Hey, that’s not fair.” Gert whines. “She’s, like, twice my muscle mass!”
***
“Do you think these will fit?” You ask, holding up a pair of checkered bottoms. Sevika put a hefty load of laundry in the washer earlier this evening when she realized you all would be stuck with her. You’re holding up one of your older pajama bottoms, which are slightly worn and also larger than the size Mel wears. Thankfully, the waistband has adjustable strings.
“They’re perfect. Thank you.” Mel responds. She’s already holding an old band tee shirt that you’ve tossed to her. Gingerly, she takes the bottoms out of your grasp, sending you a small smile.
She’s been uncharacteristically quiet for the night. A few hours have passed and the storm is finally starting to die down. After playing a round of spades and watching a movie, everyone has decided to retire to bed. It’s nearly pushing midnight, which has your eyelids drooping and your muscles aching with fatigue. Gert is sleeping in a guest bedroom and Grayson is showering. Sevika has carried the girls to Ava’s room, careful not to wake them since they fell asleep in the living room about an hour ago.
Although the night started off rough, you can’t help but be grateful that it’s ending on a lighter note. This sense of normalcy and tranquility is what you’ve desperately been craving the last three years.
“I’m sorry again,” Mel whispers. Her voice breaks from the admission and when you regard her, you notice that her eyes have begun to glisten. She swallows hard, throat jostling while she clutches the clothes to her chest.
Your chest pinches at the sight.
“Mel,” You sigh, frowning.
Is that why she’s been silent all night? Because of her lingering guilt?
“I am,” She apologizes. “I should have supported you.”
You don’t say anything. Instead, you step forward to pull her into a hug. She’s not able to reciprocate due to her arms being full, so it’s a bit awkward, but you don’t relent. You rest your head on her shoulder, sniffling along with her.
“I love you.” She says. Her voice is muffled but it still makes you smile.
“I love you too.”
She hiccups. “Like…even when I’m being an ass to you, or the days when you’re being an ass to me,” She warbles. You chuckle. “Just know that I still love you.”
And you know that she knows it’s the same for you.
A sisterhood that your mom surely hadn’t planned for you, but has always been welcomed nonetheless.
You finally pull away from her. “Sevika and I’s love for you isn’t strictly contingent upon how you can fix or help us. We don’t need you to be anything but our friend.”
A sob rips through her as she nods. “I know–”
“Seriously, Mel.”
Her eyes are puffy as she blinks through them. Slowly, she peers at you.
“I’ll admit that this whole ordeal has been annoying, and it’ll take me a little while to fully get over this. But I need you to know that it’s okay to let me figure out shit for myself. Actually, it’s better for me in the end.”
She nods once more. “Yeah, I know.” She croaks. “Honestly, I was worried. And also scared. I remember how bad things got after the divorce,” She winces at the memory. “It’s only been within the last year that you two were slightly getting better. And then it felt like everything had kind of spiraled again after Ava’s birthday party.” She let out a shaky breath. “I never got to tell you the specifics but when she broke up with Hazel, I stayed with her for a while longer that day.”
Your muscles tense. “Yeah,” You say slowly. “She vaguely mentioned her talk with you.”
Mel’s forehead crinkles, a far-away glint casting in her eyes. “Hazel had left and I was waiting for Sevika to come back downstairs. Their argument was fairly loud so it was easy to hear the direction the conversation was going in. But I didn’t think that Sev had been as upset as she actually was. Not until I went to go find her. I wasn’t sure if I should at first. Since the divorce, Sev had made it clear that the second floor of the house was off-bounds. None of us has been up there except for her, Ava and Hazel. And even then…I would hear her and Hazel argue about why certain rooms were off limits.”
A sad smile stretches across Mel’s face.
“I’m sure you know why…” She murmurs.
Your mind spins as you try to connect the dots.
“Well, anyway, Sev never came downstairs after they broke up. Gray and I tried to decide what to do. She agreed that one of us should probably check on Sev. So I did. I found her in your room.” Mel’s eyes close on their own accord. “And she wasn’t…doing well. She was in the closet. And those panic attacks she used to have? It looked like she was going through one again.”
You’re shell-shocked, seemingly stuck in place as her words register in your brain.
“After she calmed down, we talked for hours.” Mel opens her eyes again. Her brown irises are rimmed red and pain-stricken. “I hadn’t seen her like that in a long time. Now that I think back to it, it makes sense and I realize that maybe she was thinking of you. I thought that her breakup with Hazel was what initially caused her to spiral. She said the divorce threw her life off-kilter and that she’d been searching for some semblance of peace ever since then. She never specifically told me why she broke up with Hazel.”
A lump forms in your throat at the thought.
“So,” Mel goes on. “I asked her if her panic had anything to do with you. I should’ve known then. I mean, the signs were staring right in front of me. But I didn't pick up on it…” Mel wets her lips. “She said no. And that she was genuinely happy to be friends with you again. But she also felt scared for the uncertainty for her future—and for the uncertainty that a possible friendship with you could hold. It reminded me of all the nights that I spent comforting her after the divorce. And I’m not saying this to undermine how much you were also struggling. But you hadn't let me support you the way that Sev did. I saw her pain, first hand, for that first year after the divorce. And it was bad.”
You grimace at the fact.
It’s true that Mel helped Sev throughout the divorce more than she has with you. And that’s entirely your fault. You didn't want to emotionally burden her, or anyone for that matter. So you hadn't leaned on her as much. You had your therapist for that.
There were very few nights when you reached out to your mom for comfort. But even those times were sparse.
“I think,” Mel ponders slowly. “Hearing Sev voice her concerns only made me worry even more. When you initially told me about you two becoming friends, I was already cautious. And after talking to Sev, I feared that this newfound friendship between you two was the start of something that could end badly. I knew things were changing for you both. I didn’t know the specifics obviously but, in the back of my brain, I knew that maybe you two were on the brink of…something. And it scared me. Especially considering all the time that you both spent on trying to move on from the divorce.”
You wipe your own tears.
“I did warn her just as much as I did with you. But I was still being unfair towards you. I should have done it with more care and grace. That’s definitely apparent.” She relents. “I shouldn’t have been so forthright with it and I shouldn’t have accused you of not having the right intentions with Sev. I had become protective of her but had failed to be there for you as well. It was a disservice to you because I hadn’t even considered how this all was affecting you too. I was entirely wrong and out of line and absolutely a bitch for that. And I get it if you need some space for a while.“
You bite the inside of your cheek. “I just need you to know that even if this implodes between Sev and I again, that’s our burden to bear. And the decisions we make together is something that we should be able to truly decide by ourselves–without the help or involvement of anyone else.”
She sniffs, shifting her weight. “I understand completely.”
Your heart continues to hammer inside of your chest–so rapidly that you’re surprised your ribcage doesn’t rattle. Despite the reconciliation with Mel, you can’t help but ponder over her confession.
This is information that Sevika has obviously omitted, probably because she didn’t want to worry you or make you feel more guilty than you already do. And she was right to do so.
You think it’d ruin you if you found out about this last week.
And it obviously has worried Mel enough to have her second guessing whether or not the both of you should be rekindling anything. Of course, it’s not Mel’s place to make such a decision for you, and you’d continue to reinforce that boundary if it were to occur again. But you can understand why she felt so concerned, considering how much of an emotional crutch she was to Sevika after the divorce.
The permanent image of Sevika having a breakdown in your old bedroom nestles into your brain. Your throat tightens as you think about Mel having to find her like that.
And you find yourself stepping into her shoes, wondering how you would react if you found her in such a position; or, similarly, if you found Grayson in such a way.
Your body stills and you flinch.
“Can I just ask one thing?” Mel mutters, peering at you hopefully.
You hesitate, growing suspicious. “...What is it?”
“Who made the first move?” Her head tilts as she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.
And that's when you realize that you have yet to update her on everything that’s happened within the last two weeks.
Suddenly, you’re thrown back to a time, 14 years prior, when Mel had asked you the very same question. It was after your Junior Prom, in which you took Sevika as your date. That was the day when everything between you and Sevika had changed for good. You remember being excited to update Mel on all that happened. She had asked for all the details. It was the first time you felt giddy with her about your love life; it was the first time you felt like you even had a love life to begin with.
The deja vu causes goosebumps to raise on your skin.
You rest a hand on one of her forearms. “I have so much to tell you.”
Her eyes widen. “Really?”
“Would you prefer to wait for the morning? I know it’s getting late–”
“Absolutely not!” She’s walking down the hallway before you finish your sentence. “Let me freshen up first and then I’m all ears!”
***
Even though it’s been 14 years since you and Mel have shared a giddiness like this, it rarely feels like that amount of time has passed at all.
The both of you are seated at the kitchen island, trying to conceal your laughter while eating ice cream. You had texted Sevika that you were going to chat with Mel for a little while longer, so there was no need for her to wait for you.
When you tell Mel everything, she adds commentary at all the right moments.
“You begged to get back together with her less than 24 hours after she dumped Hazel,” Mel giggles. Her voice is muffled due to her mouth being full with ice cream. She sends you a mischievous grin, shaking her head in disbelief. “That’s the most lesbian thing you’ve ever done in the last five years to be fair.”
“I wasn’t even thinking,” You admit. “She texted me about the breakup and I hit the call button immediately. I mean, I was gagged. But also, like, I nearly shat myself at the idea of her being single again.”
She snorts, nearly choking on her ice cream. “I can imagine! If that were Gray and I, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”
“I felt delusional thinking I had a chance. Like I hoped for it–of course I did–and subconsciously, I had already been daydreaming about getting her back. But when she texted me that, it felt like I actually could. Like, for the first time in years, I genuinely thought that maybe I did have a chance. And I sort of just…ran with it.”
You watch Mel watch you.
She swallows her mouthful of ice cream as her expression grows sober. The shift is gradual and leaves you mirroring her, the air around you suddenly coming to a halt.
She grabs your hand, which rests against the island countertop, before giving it a gentle squeeze.
“I’m glad that you two are doing this.” Her declaration is nothing but earnest. “It’s been forever since I’ve seen you this happy.”
You do feel happy. So happy that you’re almost wondering if it’s too good to be true. There’s a small second, during every night this past week, where you fear that you’ll fall asleep and wake up to this not being your reality anymore. A reality where Sevika doesn’t love you. A reality where you don’t get a second chance with her.
“I’m grateful but at the same time, I’m worried I’ll scare her away,” You admit. “Or lose her completely for that matter.”
“Oh babe,” Mel shakes her head, “You’ve always had her. She’s not going anywhere.”
The certainty in Mel’s response shocks you.
Your eyebrows raise while you appraise her. “...You really think so?”
She smiles smally, a knowing glint in those round brown eyes of her. “It’s hilarious that you’re still so oblivious.” She eats another spoonful of ice cream. “Trust me when I tell you this: that woman is fucking crazy about you.”
***
When you finally make your way to Sevika’s bedroom, you do your best to stay quiet.
Just as you imagined, you’re met with the sound of her soft snores once you open the door. Your muscles tense as you take a glance at her, noticing that her bedside lamp is still on. The room is tidier than you remember and as you tiptoe closer to the bed, you see a small pile of folded clothes at the foot of it.
Noisily, you reach out and grab them. There’s a pair of dark blue sweat pants with a t-shirt, boxers and some socks.
They smell clean, as if they were just freshly washed.
That’s when you realize that she’s most likely set them out for you.
With a fuzzy feeling blooming inside your chest, you tightly clutch the clothes while exiting the room. Quietly, you close the door behind you, thankful that Sevika is a deep sleeper.
Your walk down the corridor is quick. The house is silent, almost everyone having succumbed to their slumber at this point, and you think that the stillness is peaceful.
When you enter the guest bathroom, you notice that it’s still slightly foggy. Your body halts from the realization, glancing at your surroundings with slight hesitation. Of course, if you didn’t have a choice, you would gladly shower in here. But you didn’t particularly enjoy the sensation of the wet bath mat underneath your feet and it didn’t seem like there were any clean towels left, which meant that you’d have to look around the house anyway…
Turning on your heels, you find yourself retreating before you can even fully think this decision through. Your feet trek down the corridor like it’s muscle memory, passing the utility closet and Ava’s room and all the guest rooms.
You enter the last room in the hallway.
Your old bedroom.
It’s pitch black, so you blindly graze your hand against the walls until you find the light switch. It’s a panel of different settings; something that you remember Sevika having difficulty installing. You opt for the dimmest option.
The hardwood is chilly, which is starkly different from the faux rug in Sevika’s new room. You catch yourself welcoming the feeling.
You suppose that a large part of you should feel unnerved by being in this room. And even though it’s a bit jarring, you can’t help but be relieved that you’re surrounded by a room so recognizable. It was comforting amidst all of the updates and changes that Sevika had made to this house.
The next 15 minutes roll by quickly. After wandering back into the hallway to retrieve clean towels from the utility closet, you’re heading into the master bathroom. Thankfully, the water warms up quickly once you turn the shower on, and it doesn’t take long to find soap that is still in decent condition.
You close the bathroom door, trying your best to not be overwhelmed by the memories that begin to bombard you.
This is the very same bathroom where you tested positive for Ava’s pregnancy.
The same bathroom that Sevika would decorate with candles and rose petals, filling the bathtub up with your favorite bubble soap.
The same bathroom where you two would shower together. Some days she’d have her way with you, absolutely ruining you before carrying you back to bed.
Other days, the pair of you would get lost in the beautiful simplicity of cleaning each other; smelling of the same soap. She’d cackle at you every time you failed to not eat shit due to how slippery the shower floor was. And you’d scowl at her in return (despite loving the fact that you were able to make her laugh).
You can’t help but allow your mind to wander to your current apartment, which isn’t nearly as nice as this house but still feels like home all the same. Your shower was barely big enough to fit both you and Sevika, but the two of you had managed over the past week. Your apartment bathroom definitely wasn’t full of the same amount of heartfelt memories but it was unique in its own way; plastered with writing and painted hand-prints that you and Ava had done over the years.
Before you can drown further in your thoughts, you finally step out of the shower and begin to dry your body. Shivers ripple through you from the cold air.
Sevika’s clothes are slightly larger on you. You have to tighten the waistband of her sweatpants so they don’t fall off and her socks have excess room around your feet. You welcome the smell of her; the delicious woody scent that clings to her skin at all times. It lingers everywhere she goes and is the very thing that grounds you as you throw your dirty clothes into the laundry hamper that sits beside the digital scale. In one swift motion, you open the door as you flicker off the bathroom light, exhaling in relief because you finally feel clean.
“Holy shit!” You curse, jumping slightly. Your right hand presses against your chest and you immediately feel the rapid thumping of your heart.
“Sorry,” Sevika greets. Her eyes widen by a few centimeters, lips twitching while she takes in your frazzled state. “I woke up and couldn’t find you. I got worried.”
You stare at her, trying to reset your heart.
“I was going to come back.” You explain. Your hand falls back down to your side. “I wanted to shower first.”
Sevika is sitting on your side of the bed (at least, the side you used to sleep on). Her eyes are puffy and droopy, a clear sign that she’s just woken up from a deep sleep.
She wears black cotton shorts and a tank top. The swell of her breasts and her nipples (along with her nipple piercings), peek through the material of the shirt. The sight is tantalizing and would have completely distracted you if you weren’t already tempted by her sculpted shoulders; how they manage to convex perfectly as she places her hands on her knees.
Your arms fold across your frame while you walk towards her. “Thank you for setting your clothes out for me,” You whisper, taking a seat beside her.
The duvet is mind-numbingly soft underneath you. She doesn’t automatically reply.
Her gaze remains on the floor, her hands clasping together as she sits up straight.
Her lashes look soft as they brush her deep-set cheekbones with every blink. You take that as your opportunity to admire the roundness of her nose and the fullness of her lips.
“I thought you would’ve been in the guest bathroom,” She finally says.
You shift your weight, “Oh.”
It dawns on you that maybe this had been a mistake. That maybe you had jumped the gun.
That would make sense as to why she’s currently unable to look at you.
“Is that where you would have preferred me to be?” You ask, voice growing smaller. Tentative. “I’m sorry if it’s too soon–me being in here. I wasn’t thinking.”
Her head snaps to you, brows shooting up. She seems bewildered. “What?” Searching your features, she shakes her head. “No.” She reaches forward, placing her hand on your knee. “I don’t mind you being in here. It just shocked me s’all. When I woke up, I thought that maybe you were still chatting with Mel or someplace downstairs.”
Her touch practically burns through the material of your sweatpants.
You can’t help but appraise the way her hand rests on top of your leg; wondering, yet again, how you’ve managed to deny yourself of this for three years.
“I went to the guest bathroom first,” You admit. “And I could probably come up with some bullshit excuse but to be honest, I just found myself here–or rather, I wanted to be in here.” The weight of your words feel heavier than you intend. Sheepishly you shrug, peering up at her. “Is that weird for you?”
You watch your words wash over her with bated breath. Her pupils dilate, a flush of heat coursing through you from her smoldering stare.
She hums softly and her hand stretches upwards, leaving a burning trail. Her palm is spread against your leg flatly, fingers finding solace against your upper thigh. “You don’t understand how long I’ve been dying to hear you say that.”
Your breath catches. “Really?”
She nods.
You tilt your head, watching her watch you. Her eyes are fluttering, gaze dancing between your eyes and your lips, as if she’s trying to look at both of them simultaneously.
Your brain echoes the words of Mel from not too long ago…
Trust me when I tell you this: that woman is fucking crazy about you.
You take hold of her hand–the one that was gripping your thigh–to use as support. Then, in one swift motion, you pull her towards you, crashing your lips onto hers.
She inhales sharply, visibly surprised. And then she’s shifting, moving closer to you while tugging your hips. Seamlessly, you straddle her lap. Her tongue happily dances with yours while she moans into you.
She begins to grind, pulling you against her with breathtaking strength. You feel warm and heady, chest rising against hers and back arching.
When she breaks the kiss, she’s merely inches from your face, mumbling, “Correct me if I’m wrong. But I feel like you’re in love with me or something.”
Your face nearly breaks from the smile that stretches across your face.
A loud cackle falls from your lips and you notice that her own expression mirrors the joy sprouting from your heart. She watches you fondly, emitting a soft chuckle of her own.
Your hands are cupping the nape of her neck while your fingers massage her scalp. You sink farther into her lap; a subconscious reaction but a reaction that she likes nonetheless.
“You couldn’t be more right.” You respond.
For a few seconds, silence filters into the room while you stare at her. You’re practically drunk from the intimacy and you think that this is the first time you’ve felt utterly consumed by love.
Your hands creep away from her neck, trailing her skin before they caress her cheeks. You hold her face still, leaning in to brush your nose against hers.
Time stretches. The tenderness in the air doesn’t exactly evaporate but instead dissipates into something perfervid. You’re well aware of the growing wetness in between your thighs; how your gut starts to tug with each passing moment.
Your body becomes a mind of its own as you climb off of Sevika.
Her gaze is pressing. “What is it?” She questions in confusion.
Your mouth waters as you kneel to the floor. You place your hands on her thighs, whispering, “Can I taste you?” It comes out as a desperate plea. “...Show you how much I love you?”
When you glance at her, you feel thrilled to see a reflection of desire.
“Here? Right now?” Her voice is gravelly. Husky.
“I’ve been wanting to all day.” You allow your nails to dig into her skin, lightly scratching her lower thighs. You aren’t even sure if the rest of your friends are fully asleep. They could honestly walk in at any minute.
But you can’t help yourself.
You need her.
“Close the door.” She replies. You stand to your feet without hesitation. “And lock it.”
After securing the door and turning around, you find her standing and the look on her face makes you feel as if you’ve just won the lottery.
You don’t give her much time to say anything else.
Once you reach her, you’re tugging at her shorts. She’s kissing your neck, shuddering when your fingertips graze her lower stomach.
Quickly, she steps out of her clothes, detaching her lips from you so that she can tug her shirt over her head.
You’re on your knees in seconds, mouth watering at the glistening of her folds.
“Just a taste,” You find yourself saying. “That’s all I need.”
You swallow thickly, peering at her under your lashes. One of her hands comes to rest against the back of your head.
“Are you really begging for it?” She sounds pleased but there’s also an underlying layer of admiration.
“Has there ever been a time when I haven’t?”
Because you always did throughout the marriage. You were never afraid to show her how desperate she made you.
Her lip twitches and she nudges you forward. “Go on then.”
You grip the back of her thighs as your tongue darts out to swipe her folds. It’s slow. Teasing. And you practically moan at the taste, overwhelmed by her musky scent. She hisses, digging into your scalp and tugging. The pain is short lived but is enough to have you nearly soaking through your pants.
Fervently, your tongue circles her clit before you suck, tasting more of her–lapping up all that you can.
“Fuck, baby.” She slurs, voice melting into a grunt.
And she does it again–tugging your scalp.
She slams your face against her cunt, your nose burying deep into her while she grinds slowly. She’s towering over you at this point, holding your head in place while she ruts against you as if you’re her own personal toy.
She continues to leak onto you, her juices trickling down your neck as your tongue shoots out. You can’t see anything, the weight of her overpowering you in just the right way.
“You’re perfect,” Her hips buck with bruising force. “...Wanting me to use you like this.”
The sound of her wet pussy, humping and fucking your face, is sacred.
You emit a garbled moan.
Every thrust becomes more urgent and she holds your head with both hands now, her breathing ragged.
You can tell she’s trying to control herself, not wanting to be so loud that the pair of you will grow to regret this tomorrow.
But her grunts only become more feral as time passes on. Eagerly, you keep your tongue out, slurping up what you can.
It’s brutal.
It’s beautiful.
“I’m–shit–you feel so good,” She grunts. “Your face is practically made for me.”
The praise sends a shudder through you. You whimper, palms pressing against the back of her thighs to press her further against you–eager to please her.
That seems to send her over the edge, her thrusts shuddering as she lets out a low and guttural moan.
“Fucking perfect.” She gasps, coming undone. She explodes onto your tongue all at once.
You drink everything that she gives you, swallowing heartily. Her rutting is slow to die down, hips adjusting to a rhythm that is sluggish.
You don’t realize how dazed you are until she comes to a stop, releasing her hold on you as she exhales shakily.
“Was that okay?” You can’t help but ask, still panting.
You wipe your face, licking all of her juices off of your fingers.
She helps you stand, wrapping an arm around your waist while she crouches down to meet your eyes. “More than okay.”
And she kisses you.
You smile against her lips, completely blissed out.
“I nearly died.” She adds. “...In the best way.”
You giggle before you reach forward to wrap your arms around her neck. “Let’s do it again, then.”
She inhales sharply, jaw falling slack.
“We need to move to the bed though.” You admonish. “My knees aren’t what they used to be.”
