Let's recap.
OP's 11 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with autism, feels different from her peers because they're going through puberty and she's not, is about to go through puberty but might be a little nervous, and is gay.
So, she wants a binder to prevent breast growth from showing, and she doesn't feel like what she sees other girls look and act like. She's only eleven. OP's concerns about binder safety are sensible, but OP isn't worried at ALL about the bigger issue: this kid is struggling, not because she's nonbinary, but because of everything I listed in the first paragraph. Being nonbinary isn't causing these struggles; identifying as nonbinary is just yet another symptom, another coping behavior.
Most of Reddit's advice is to wait on the binder, which is a nice surprise! B the top comments are also suggesting OP to get this poor kid to a gender therapist, tell her how proud the family is of them, and further validate this coping mechanism.
This will, in turn, put pressure on her to more firmly entrench herself in the identity, even if she has doubts now or in the future, because of all the effort and expectations it puts on her -- all while ignoring the root struggles: insecurity; a bit of Peter Pan syndrome; ostracization and alienation; and mental health.
This is a tragically perfect example of how trans ideology hurts vulnerable kids.
