#relative death

[dash-n-step]

one of my many cousins stopped by as a surprise and while I do not remember them (apparently I have cousins that are a twin???) even they know to stay out of the random drama thats' been happening surrounding my grandmother's funeral

@dash-n-step

[crispythecascoon]

Nepit, the yellow garden(ing) spider.

She's a farmer of the Silk Cradle who is very tired of having her crops stolen by a certain lamb

She has a monument to Shamura in her silk home that she prays to for strength and guidance, as well as leaves offerings for, like weavings and vegetables. She has a smaller one to Heket hanging from her ceiling for good luck in her harvest.

While she is a gardener, she also sets silken traps around the cradle for unlucky passerby, especially if the fields are looking barren. Unlucky souls caught in her web have to listen to her complaints, and any wrong move will get them promptly eaten.

Her hat provides some shelter from the drip drip of the caves. She's very attached to it, as it was given to her by her grandma, who tended the very fields she does.

Grandma is not around anymore, but she will not be forgotten. She tasted wonderful.

Is this anything.

[multifandomfangirl93]

I feel so alone.

My great grandfather died today and nobody seems to care about how I’m reacting.

Surprisingly, I’m fine. Which is making me worry that I’m not fine and the other shoe is gonna drop soon. Or maybe it does seem real cause nobody has talked to me about it. I just got a text and that was it.

Am I a terrible person for not being really upset about this?

I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing but being alone.

[hearth-fucker]

I had a dream that my dad was dying but also that Dio was in the new Cars movie.

[brainspiraling]

I'm not superstitious, but, like, tentatively spiritual—so when I dream of one of my forcibly (meaning not by my choice) rehomed dogs, possibly also my other dog who died in 2022 and my grandma who died in 2015 when I don't remember having any such dream including them all before, I worry a little that it means *that* dog is dead now, too, even knowing I'll likely never know, that there's really no feasible, or reasonable way for me to find out.

OCD fucks with everything (even *with* successful/effective treatment when it's moderate or severe, only less then, but never not at all—there is no cure, only better management) and there's literally ZERO upside, for me at least.

For example, without OCD, I would still clean but without feeling the urgent need to, or to finish it all at once, or feeling distressed if for whatever reason I'm prevented from doing so.

More significantly, it's probably more the reason I currently live alone than any other condition I have, or am.

That's why it's listed among the worst to have, in general—it's pervasive and particularly difficult to upkeep treatment, which is necessary in order for it to really be and remain beneficial.

Logically, I know worrying doesn't do me any good without (at least primarily beneficial) action—but I have been thinking off and on, sporadically about that unnerving dream since having it yesterday afternoon anyway.

I know overall improvement or "healing isn't linear", but also, like a lot of things I often wish and would rather have them be, if not always, at least more straightforward.

[trans-toons]

[reylo-ology-blog]

Highlight of my Grandad’s memorial: Whole family (Uncle, cousins, Granny, the whole lot of us) hiking up a mountain in a thunderstorm to spread his ashes competing to see who has the best Chewbacca impression 

Clearly my Uncle but my brother is super salty about it.

[invisible-goats]

My Granny died last night. After I got told this I hung up the phone and started laughing. Now that that’s over I just feel numb. I can’t work out if this is because she was 103 and didn’t know who she was so I kind of didn’t consider her alive anymore or because I process emotions kind of weirdly anyway.

Either way my main emotion rn is worrying that if I go to her funeral/wake I’ll display the wrong emotion and everyone will hate me, which obviously makes me the Worst.