I'm not superstitious, but, like, tentatively spiritual—so when I dream of one of my forcibly (meaning not by my choice) rehomed dogs, possibly also my other dog who died in 2022 and my grandma who died in 2015 when I don't remember having any such dream including them all before, I worry a little that it means *that* dog is dead now, too, even knowing I'll likely never know, that there's really no feasible, or reasonable way for me to find out.
OCD fucks with everything (even *with* successful/effective treatment when it's moderate or severe, only less then, but never not at all—there is no cure, only better management) and there's literally ZERO upside, for me at least.
For example, without OCD, I would still clean but without feeling the urgent need to, or to finish it all at once, or feeling distressed if for whatever reason I'm prevented from doing so.
More significantly, it's probably more the reason I currently live alone than any other condition I have, or am.
That's why it's listed among the worst to have, in general—it's pervasive and particularly difficult to upkeep treatment, which is necessary in order for it to really be and remain beneficial.
Logically, I know worrying doesn't do me any good without (at least primarily beneficial) action—but I have been thinking off and on, sporadically about that unnerving dream since having it yesterday afternoon anyway.
I know overall improvement or "healing isn't linear", but also, like a lot of things I often wish and would rather have them be, if not always, at least more straightforward.