#reminisicing

[alexthesailor]

It's amazing what you find when you're moving house #memories #bodaceas #memorybox #reminisicing #atherstone #stainedglassalice #soundofsilence #downloadfestival #wristband #gig #livemusic #festival

[rembrandtswife]

Personal musings on gender, I guess

I never thought of myself as a tomboy when I was a kid. I wore dresses to church and sometimes to school; I had very long hair which was braided or ponytailed most of the time, worn loose on special occasions, and if my mother felt like exerting herself, she’d twist some of my hair into “rag curls”, loose ringlets made by tying up a few inches of hair with bits of rag. I was bookish, read a lot, spun stories in my imagination, and started writing things down pretty early. I wasn’t always wearing pants, getting dirty, starting fights.

On the other hand, I was passionately interested in spaceships and robots, and in swords and armor, for as long as I can remember. I had baby dolls, rag dolls, and stuffed animals, but also Hot Wheels, a castle with little plastic knights, and a Lost in Space robot that had batteries and lit up and rolled around. I watched Star Trek and Lost in Space and Batman with Adam West. I counted a lot of boys among my friends throughout my childhood, and if anyone challenged me to a fight (which one girl did, a couple of times), I showed up and punched her.

There really was much less anxiety about gender conformity in the 1970s. You didn’t go to the store and see a bin full of blue rubber balls and a separate bin full of pink ones. I’m pretty sure my parents never said I couldn’t have a certain toy because it was For Boys, although it’s possible that had I been a boy who wanted Barbies, that might have been a problem. The things I think of as iconic, emblematic of my childhood, whether or not I owned them, were things that were marketed to boys and girls alike: Games like Operation and Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots and Don’t Break the Ice, tv shows like Bugs Bunny and Captain Kangaroo.

[ae-morgana]

It's not about anger or sadness anymore. I've passed that. Some things still strike those  matches but really I'm just tired. It's done. I know the outcome. No use looking back. I'll never see you again and there won't ever be a phone call so there's no point being a sore wound. It's over, after all.

Months later | a.e morgana

[chrlsaur]

Everything has changed.

Obviously. For whatever reason tonight, I couldn't help myself but read through some old messages. Just reminiscing and what not, and because I miss some people I used to talk to on a daily basis. I know I'm not the same person I was my freshmen year of highschool, and over seas at that. I'm not the same person I was my freshmen year of college which was only a few years back and not too long ago. But either way I caught myself over looking old messages, and all of a sudden started thinking what if. Which is normal, and it was nice. Don't get me wrong, I would never change my life the way it is now. If it wasn't for those people in my past, I wouldn't be where I am right now. I'm married to my best friend, and in a matter of days or even just a few more weeks we will be starting our lives in Alaska. I'm truly blessed with what I have and what I've been giving. And for that, I would never trade my world. I have everything and everyone I need.

[tsunstar]

Lucky

Just thinking about the past two years and I realized something. I must be one of the luckiest people on the planet because how I'm still standing right now, I don't know. I have short-term memory now, but if I still had that excellent memory from Freshman year, I'd be miserable right now. Memory doesn't seem to help with academics since Freshman year was when I got my lowest GPA in high school.  Senior year though, Idk how I even survived that one. Junior year was nothing compared to senior year. Yeah junior year I had to do so many all nighters and all that work, but senior year man, that just took a whole lot of something else. Everything was crumbling - family, personal life. I don't even want to get into all that bullshit. Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, it gets worse and hey I'm going to be blunt: I try to be nice most of the time, but when I think about it now, why am I still nice to those people who made my life way more difficult? And all because they were selfish and ignorant. It's like out of respect to my parents, especially my mom, who taught me to always be kind and not because I actually want to go out of my way to be nice to those people.  This year though, basically everything was rebuilt from scratch and I have a better idea of who I am. My close group of friends - that's too rare, I already know we're going to stay friends for life. And then there's this SoCal girl who's so...mysterious. It's like playing Pokemon and you come across this Pokemon you've never seen before but you catch it because it seems cool and it turns out it's your favorite Pokemon. Yeah I just...Nevermind. Basically, she the bomb. Never thought I'd meet anyone like that. I really miss her.

I'm too lucky.

tl;dr: Been through some tough times, but then you just meet someone new and things just automatically seem so much better. 

[beansandapples]

Something Old, Someone New

It's been three years since the end of my college days; it doesn't seem like much, but then you encounter moments like last Saturday and it feels like ages.

The first assignment for our very first post was this: rekindling (college) old relationships. It was quite serendipitous how it worked out, with Joy having recently run into an old friend from Suffolk, and I with plans for brunch with my old "besties" from Fordham.

The day was pleasant and, of course, we all decide on a Filipino restaurant in the East Village called Maharlika. I say "of course" because, as you may assume, we are indeed Filipino, and actually it is because of this simple fact that we became the little "trio" that we were/are then/today. After our semi-traditional Filipino brunches were ordered, we begin the reminiscing.

That's how it always starts when it comes to old friends, doesn't it? We begin with the necessary "what are we doing now" conversation, followed almost simultaneously by reminiscing of our past adventures together, gossip, etc. It's bittersweet. After a while, the conversation trails off and we pick back up to some other topic we can reminisce about.

So here we are, falling back into place and sharing stories "like we used to", all the while pretending like things can get back to what it used to be, but knowing it won't; a part of each of us knows deep down that things have changed, we are changed, but we continue. Why? Because no matter what, we share something, even if that something has passed.

It's interesting to think, though, that the bittersweetness of it all isn't because of what we have lost. It's because that, sometimes, that's all we can have. It's pretty much a cliche to say "We've grown apart". Cause I mean, duh. But it's the fact that it actually doesn't matter that we've grown apart, we just aren't moving forward together; and that's okay.

We've developed and grown into lives so disparate from each other and we are new, different versions of ourselves trying to place ourselves within something old. Again, it's bittersweet, but it is what it is. I would do it all again in a heartbeat (or maybe in a few months).

I don't regret seeing these old friends. On the contrary, I was and am glad I did. It put the life I'm living and the person I've become into a different perspective that more than anything, and ironically, helps me grow even further.

Always with love, Pia

[dmdjaayy]

Being here in Portland isn't the same as the last time I was here..