#rkxsnn

[xyoohyeonrk]

╌、*feeling like failure、

trigger warnings: scolding, verbal fighting, crying .✦｡ﾟ

vibrations of her phone brings yoohyeon out of focus, eyes shifting from the high paced arurf game in front of her and down to the beaming screen that reveals a new text message; it’s all that is needed for yoohyeon to be executed in-game, a minor distraction that quickly lead to a serious misplacement on her behalf. “oh, fuck...” the curse came out as a mere breath as she picks up the device that ultimately became the cause of her death, only to read through all the incoming messages and realise that they all need a proper answer and thus, her full attention -- that of which, she cannot give right now. too much is at stake and for once, yoohyeon found a team that can actually work together. she leaves her mum on read, using the remaining few last seconds to complete her in-game purchases.

✉ 📲 ▸ TEXT RECEIVED FROM  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 3 )

▸ our yoohyeonie~ how are you, sweetie? ♥ ▸ listen, our refrigerator broke down… can you send ￦40,000? ▸ you know that i wouldn’t ask if we had any other choice.    message read ! ▸ yoohyeon-ah? please answer me.    message read !

another text rolls in soon after but yoohyeon has already lost herself into what might, or might not, be the last team fight of the current game. with her screen unlocked, and messaging app open, she accidentally leave the newest message on read also. it is only a matter of seconds anyway so she figures that it won’t really matter. one kill down, two kills down, three kills down before someone manages to stop yoohyeon from wiping out the entire team, fed as she is she unfortunately has a counterpart in the opposite team’s midlaner-- but it isn’t at all enough, they manage to beat down the nexus so low that there is no returning now. while yoohyeon is dead and currently out of the game, her pulse is high as she watch her team mates destroy what is left of the other team’s nexus and secure their victory.

“YES!!!” she practically yells at the screen in front of her, after fourty minutes of intense battle they are finally done and managed to win the game. for a moment there yoohyeon forgot that she does, in fact, live with someone. somewhat embararssed by her outburst, she is glad that naeun is out for another few hours training at kt ent.

✉ 📲 ▸ TEXT SENT TO  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 2 )

▸ i’m sorry, mum~ i was in the middle of something~~~ ▸ but i don’t have any more right now, i already gave you everything that i could… ㅠㅠ

satisfied with the victory, yoohyeon brings her chair backwards to lean back in a more relaxed position. she figures that she most probably will be texting her mum from this point of, and it’s pointless to head back into the arurf queue. instead, she changes the game mode to play one last game for the day, lining up for a more chilled game of teamfight tacticts. what she did not take into consideration however, was that her mum might have wanted to call her instead and that is precisely what happens next. moments after yoohyeon accept the matchup, her phone vibrates once again to now reveal an incoming call. she sighs, she’s too tired to converse like this after a full weekend of dancing and having had a full day of work today, but she picks up the call nonetheless. she knows better than to not.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 00:09 )

yoohyeon: hey, mum~ i’m sorry that i took so long to respond, i wa--

byeol: yoohyeon-ah, what do you mean ‘you don’t have any money’? you just got paid on the 15th, didn’t you? what about that savings account of yours? i know that you are smart enough to not have emptied that already. right? please, i’m not asking for much.

being cut short is not something that yoohyeon is used to and immediately, she notice that it’s uncharacteristically done so by her mum. completely taken aback she remains mute, and she listen to the manipulation that she has yet to realise takes place. a sense of panic hits her, the request is far from grand but there is absolutely no way that she can oblige--  her savings are gone and she won’t be paid for another month. of course, she has enough to pay for rent and food throughout the month of february, but not a dime more than that. if she gave up any more then she would go hungry and while that is something she often do for her family when they’re in need, that is something she has been doing for the past few months already. for once, she could use the satisfaction of being properly fed herself.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 00:16 )

yoohyeon: i… i– ah, mum, it’s empty. i’m sorry– i’ll work extra hard this month!

byeol: how is it empty, ah? have you wasted your money? what did you waste it on, huh?

her offer is immediately disregarded and yoohyeon suddenly feels attacked when the tone of speech directed at her, is changed to a more hostile approach. she does realise that working extra hard this coming month won’t help them with the current dilemma, she does realise that they need a new refrigerator as soon as yesterday. how can she help, she wonder. perhaps it was foolish of her to buy those gym clothes, thoughts around the decision weighing her down like the worst call of her life. she couldn’t possibly have foreseen this happen though, that her parents’ refrigerator so happened to break down the very month she wanted to spoil herself-- ever since her birthday in january, yoohyeon has mustered the courage to think about herself for once and this is how she is repaid by fate. with shame.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 00:29 )

yoohyeon: i– i didn’t waste it! i haven’t bought anything in so long but i asked my friend. hwang yeji, remember her? i asked her to teach me how to dance, i needed gym wear fo…

byeol: you wasted your savings on clothes?! don’t you have enough clothes already, ah? i can’t believe how selfish you are, i didn’t raise you like this! what are we going to do now? how are we going to live without a refrigerator– i’m so disappointed in you, i really counted on you for this, yoohyeon-ah!

yoohyeon stopped caring about the game before she even arrived to the first carousel, there’s absolutely no way around defeat and she already know that as she head into round three with minions. having mindlessly sold her first champion for gold and bought everything on roll, she has somehow manged to put together a team of three lights regardless of being scolded by a unreasonably angry mother. during the first half of a teamfight tacticts game she isn’t required to think very much and that alone is the sole reason she can keep from forgeiting already. she cannot for the bare life of her understand where the anger comes from, her heart beating fast as though her life is at stake due to another rush of panic. all yoohyeon wanted by buying the clothes was to pat herself on the shoulder, she deserved it.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 01:15 )

yoohyeon: i didn’t– ah, i’m sorry… but… what about yookwon oppa? can he contribute?

byeol: how dare you suggest such a thing? you know that your brother is busy. yookwon doesn’t need the added stress right now. 

as if yoohyeon needs the added stress right now, but she doesn’t mention that. it would be as useless to voice aloud as it would be to bring up the winter singer contest that she so bravely signed up for, and not to mention the second chance to audition with sphere entertainment. it would only anger her mum even more if she so much as brought highlight to that, and the fact that she turned down the offer for the sake of her family. all of this being a reason why she did decide that she could use a little something, a little prize for stepping out of her comfort zone-- performing for a live crowd, alone, is scary enough as it is, and then to turn down a company that possibly regretted letting her go in the first place... yoohyeon thought she earned the right to pamper herself. after all, she turned down her dream, for them.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 01:22 )

yoohyeon: ah, yeah... you’re right... i’m sorry, mum... what can i do?

byeol: nothing, apparently, other than playing your idiotic games and having fun like you have no worries in the world-- don’t think that i can’t hear that mouse of yours clicking like your goddamn life depends on it. you should be ashamed of yourself, behaving like a brat without a single care for her family when they are in need!

immediately she lets go of the mouse, her heart skipping a of beat with such a brute force that she is pained by it. shock turns into confusion, confusion turns into ruin. she wants to cry.

allgedly, yoohyeon doesn’t care for her family. working two part time jobs and sending money home every month obviously doesn’t count for helping out, and neither does going hungry for days on end just to make sure that her parents and yoorim is fed properly. applying for jobs at any given time isn’t good enough either, despite recendly landing herself a new full time job at the escape room in gangnam with a steady income. she is speechless by the accusations and that of an order to be ashamed of herself-- for what, exactly...? for spending money on herself for once? for a moment she is willing to accept that her mum is right but no, she isn’t. concern, anxiety and devastation is rapidly replaced with her own anger. after everything that yoohyeon has done for her family, she does not deserve this treatment.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 01:41 )

yoohyeon: as if i haven’t done enough for you already! working my ass off, every day, to keep you guys from troubles whenver things get rough, even if it means that i have to go hungry. have you ever thought about that, huh? have you?! and this one time, mum... just this one time, i wanted to pamper myself because i deserved it. you don’t even know what i’ve been through lately. you don’t even know... 

byeol: yooheon-ah, calm down! what are you sa--

it feels like such a waste at this point and yoohyeon gasps for air, trying her very best to keep from hiccuping through whines that manages to escape. she can’t recall the last time that she cried and while some tears can be good and healthy, this one admittedly pains her more than anything else ever has. the mixture of pure agony and betrayal breaks her right there, on the phone with the person that she usually woud seek comfort when upset. once again, she’s so incredibly glad that naeun is out training, but for a different reason; she sobs loudly, her hand reaching up to cover a tear stained cheek as though hiding from the world-- not that it helps in any way or form, the damage has already been done. her game is long forgotten, and for all she cares she has already been taken enough damage to be out.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 01:58 )

yoohyeon: i can’t help you this time, mum. get the money from somewhere else!

📞 📲 ▸ CALL DISCONNECTED  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 02:07 )

she doesn’t allow for a proper response, this time being the one to cut her mum short instead. sweat breaks through the fabric of her t-shirt as she finally end the call without so much as a good bye, immediately burrying her face in both hands as she weeps into the damp palms. it doesn’t feel good to cry this time, it isn’t at all a good cry. yoohyeon feels completely at loss, whatever is she going to do now? with this being the first fight that she has ever had with her mum, she suddenly realise that she don’t know how things will be after this. it doesn’t matter that her mum is trying to call her back now-- not once, not twice, not thrice. yoohyeon can’t hear it through her whimpers, not that she would have picked up anyway. it doesn’t matter that she texts her to apologise. the damage has certainly been done.

[rkjoohyvn]

❝ — closer ,

@rkxsnn

lately, the ins and outs of training have become quite routing, perhaps too routine. before, she used to lament about not having much time in the day to spend with herself or her family or friends, but as of late, she’s just come to accept that fact and roll with it rather than try to make more time in the day, even if it seems impossible, and she’s unsure of whether or not that’s a good thing. wouldn’t it be better to still regret the schedule? at least then she’d be trying, instead of just becoming defeated. sure, adding more hours to a day is a feat no one has completed yet, but that doesn’t mean she should give up on spending time with people, does it?

her mind is racing with these thoughts as she heads for the building’s exit for the day after training, wondering if she should actually spend some time doing something she wants to do instead of heading straight home for a shower and some sleep. if she’s going to do that, though, she needs a companion, because as much as she loves the idea of self-care and spending time with oneself, she’s far too much of an extrovert to want to spend an evening out alone. luckily, she spots a fellow trainee not too far away, someone she’s spent some time with for a few moments, and someone she’d like to get to know better, especially considering one day they might debut together. with a wave of her hand, she calls out toward her, picking up her pace so she can catch up. “naeun ssi~ wait up! have you got any plans for tonight?”

[rksakura]

❀ save me

trainee starter for @rkxsnn ! ( tw: bullies! )

the first day of training, sakura finds herself lost in the middle of everything. she doesn’t have anyone to sit with during cafeteria and it seems that she can’t find any of her friends to pester and sit down with her, eating a nice meal. she still prefers her healthy daily bentos that she always makes for meal preps on the daily. she’s a friendly individual but it doesn’t feel right not having anyone by her side. she’s used to having people around. it feels weird, being a trainee and realising that she’s made it this far.

her eyes look down on the table, picking up her chopsticks as she eats a piece of tamago all by herself. that is, until a posse of girls, trainees that are without a doubt, have been here for awhile. they must be high in seniority. being the usual friendly gal she is, she greets the girls with a smile but the girls respond with snarky grins with nothing nice to say. 

“oh you’re that miya-whatever sakura girl? what are you doing here?”

and all she can hear is the sinister laughter. how are some people so heartless?

[ncbodyknows]

➟「英語を話す」talking english。

@rkxsnn​

This evaluation was a pain in the ass in multiple ways. The whole learning a language reminded him too much of the time he had spent on the high school bench (heck, even afterwards when he came to Korea with only the bare minimum of knowledge on the language) and it was annoying that he couldn’t just sing a song in Japanese because it wouldn’t be ‘challenging enough’ or some shit like that. But even despite that Youngjae was happy. For one particular reason.

He didn’t have to dance this time.

He could shine through properly as a vocalist without having to ruin his image with his mediocre dancing skills. And that alone was enough to not completely ruin his mood for this whole month.

English was the language he had decided upon as that seemed most simple (and considering how he wasn’t exactly a language genius it seemed far too troublesome to pick up a fourth one when he still fucked up in his second and third) and most profitable when the intention was to branch out abroad. As far as Youngjae was aware, the places people most visited were English speaking countries and of course Japan, so as long as he got those two down he’d be ready for whatever they could think of throwing at him. 

Sitting at his table in the class, trying to wrap his head around the foreign sounding vowels and consonants, he glanced over at his side mate who seemed equally confused. “They really hit us where it hurts this time, didn’t they?” he asked with a sly smile and a small laughter that seemed almost uncharacteristic to both himself and anyone who might know him. Choi Youngjae engaging in smalltalk out of his own free will? Surely the world was about to end. He gave a sigh. “I mean the singing is no problem but doing it in English? I hope they don’t expect us to be professional at the end of this thing.”

[rkhongjoong]

▫︎ ▪︎  ━   crybaby .

now that the staff is gone and hongjoong can breathe easily, he takes a look around the room to see what fires they wrought with their anger.  he licks his bottom lip, a little annoyed himself, but there’s nothing that he can do aside from convince them that it wasn’t their fault  -  they didn’t seem to buy it, but that’s their problem.  if they’ve still got issues with the cameras later, johnny will fix them and that will just be the end of it.

what he can’t accept though, is the fact that it’s brought naeun to tears.  her first real evaluation, and something like this happens  -  it’s a bit jarring for anyone to take in, much less a new trainee.  so while everyone is collecting themselves, he makes his way over to her side and kneels down, wrapping his arms around his knees.  “ hey.  wanna talk?”

▫︎ ▪︎  ━     <     @rkxsnn     >

[rkxdowoon-a]

                                      SSTK World CF Filming - Group B

Date: 17th March 2019 Filming with: @rksakura, @rkxsnn, @rkljy, @rkdongmin, @floverrk, @rkkyg and @rkheejin Concept: Lunch Time Song: Gee, ChiChi

Having gone to the audition not expecting anything to come of it, Dowoon was more than pleasantly surprised (and a little bewildered) to receive the email telling him that he’d been selected as an extra for the Super Star KTWorld commercial. And he was even more amused to find out that Eric would also be an extra, albeit in a different group. 

There was just one little thing that irked Dowoon about the process. He still wasn’t given the chance to play the game, the reason he’d auditioned in the first place! But it was a minor annoyance, offset greatly by the payment of 225,000 won for his payment. The sensible part of Dowoon was telling himself to save the money for university or to help out when his baby sister was born. The less sensible part was very enthusiastically planning on how much money he could spend on SSKT when it came out.

Despite having graduated High School not too long ago, it was a little strange to be back in a school uniform. Dowoon had forgotten how heavy they were and was constantly readjusting his tie whenever the cameras were away from him. He couldn’t help but wonder why he’d been put into a school-based group. Did he really look that young?

Despite all the minor annoyances and inability at eat until the shooting was finished (at least he’d had the foresight to stuff his face at breakfast), Dowoon was having the time of his life. He was so happy to see Sakura had also been placed in his group and they’d spent some time catching up before filming, even with guilt writhing in his gut for not being able to hang out with her since they’d volunteered at the soup kitchen in December. 

He’d also made friends with Naeun, who had at least let him see the game being played properly between takes, even if he hadn’t been allowed to play it himself (He’d almost taken her up on the offer to actually play the demo version only for the director to glance over at them both just before Naeun had handed over the phone. Not wanting either of them to get into trouble, or worse; get kicked altogether, Dowoon had hastily gone back to his group, but not before being able to whisper a sincere ‘Thank you anyways!’ to her.)

The actual filming was tiring, with constant retakes for what seemed like petty reasons, like someone sitting too close to the person playing the game, people being too slow to scoot over to form the group of boys and girls or even by the sun casting a shadow over them. Though Dowoon wasn’t unused to it; he’s had photos taken and retaken of him for Samsung Medical Center’s Transplant Program for similar reasons. At least here, he was getting to express himself and have fun.

There was one part of the filming that he didn’t even have to act for. When the cameras forced Juyeon to actually play his game, Dowoon’s reactions were completely genuine. From clapping excitedly when the older boy successfully cleared ‘Gee’ to groaning whenever a string of difficult notes broke Juyeon’s combo, it came naturally to Dowoon. More than once, he’d called out ‘Great job hyung!’ in response to a particularly good move or score. God, he couldn’t wait to get his hands on the game once it was released proper.

As the two groups moved together from what felt like the hundredth time that afternoon, Dowoon shot Sakura another grin before ducking his down towards Juyeon’s screen again as ‘ACTION!’ was yelled, slipping right back into the enthusiastic student.

"Woah, so cool!”

[Word Count: 611]

[jkookrk]

『 That Good Cocoa 』

⇢ outgoing to: @rkxsnn

Being the sweet-tooth he was, Hoseok of course enjoys himself a nice cup of hot cocoa. To be invited out by Naeun was a nice change to going back and forth between pitying himself and trying to shove all his issues away by excessive parties and lots of alcohol. Right now he just felt content and not being alone surely helped with that.

Gaze drifting out the window he watched the falling snow with a smile. “Snow always makes for fabulous motives. Hey- would you mind modeling for me later maybe? I’m feeling kind of inspired!” Thankfully the photographer never left his home without his trusted old friend by his side, so simply said: he came prepared!

[rkfanfic]

— ◉ — @rkxsnn