time is limited. with her princess, now marking the word: former princess. sakura realises that even though this wasn't how she wanted things to go, she knew it was for the best. she'd promise herself that she wouldn't be teary-eyed about it. she'd have to look at sua, with the same smile but one that doesn't feel too natural today.
however, it's best to live in the moment before everything slips away. slithering herself in the girl's arms, sakura pokes sua's delicate nose, adding in a nudge but not strong enough to hurt or break her. "i'm so happy to be with you today." the words align with sadness, confusion, but also growth. pain develops a person and develops character, sakura fathoms this philosophy.
she'll be okay but a fresh wound doesn't patch up right away, she'll need to pull herself through to recover from any illnesses. love is such a vague word that she still doesn't understand. the meaning behind it was too complicated for her reach.
"how has your morning been treating you?" she widens her smile, showing her teeth and puts her hand on top of sua's. "i hope it's been doing well." she tucks her hair behind her ear, the intimacy had always been strong between the two. a connection that she could never cut off. “i don’t want to rush to it right away but i have some big news to tell you!” her voice sounds neutral, which is an unusual sign of sakura to do.
I CAN MAKE YOUR HANDS CLAP !!
feat. ( @longguork , @jinsoulrk, @changminxrk , @rkxsua , @rkjaewon )
team BOOM BOOM! performing handclap by fitz&the tantrums.
choreo notes.
being back on a team is weird-- after a week of not being in a company practice room. for a moment, yoongi’s at a loss of what to do; how to talk to people again, how to start doing anything. but it grows to be easy-- he has nice kids on his team. talented people, and fellow wild cards like himself. yoongi doesn’t feel like the odd-one out for once-- and they’re doing a dance focused performance. he couldn’t ask for anything more.
( maybe for jeongguk to be here, too. but yoongi deems that to be more of his own selfish desire than anything else. )
there’s not a soul on this team he really recognizes, but he finds that after working with team after team it begins to become easier speaking up and reaching out. and it’s easier to become more relaxed in front of the cameras that are always there, always watching.
they focus on figuring out the choreography first. jinsoul gives out a bunch of creative and helpful ideas with longguo; ideas and formations that begin to sketch out the dance -- and changmin tests them out. sua and yoongi focus on refining the ideas into smooth flowing choreography, and jaewon is there to observe with a critical eye and figure out parts they need to clean up on. it’s a team effort, and each contribute in their own way. they’re like a well-oiled machine, and yoongi thinks he’s been blessed with the best people to do a dance focused performance together.
maybe it’s because yoongi enjoys dancing more than anything else-- but he finds himself gravitating to the rest of his teammates. he helps point out things for the struggling ones-- gives encouragements to everyone else with quirked lips. he tries to be more easy-going and approachable this time around-- tries to look at everything from a more positive perspective.
sua’s birthday is tossed into the equation as they reach recording day. it’s whispered upon them that they’ll do a surprise of sorts; it leads up to a tense moment of changmin leaving abruptly, and jaewon following after. yoongi’s on edge until the two of them return-- and he, jinsoul and longguo all break out into singing birthday wishes towards sua. it’s something fun, light-hearted in the midst of training, and yoongi’s happy he was able to be apart of it.
the day comes up faster than he’d expect, and soon enough-- they’re on stage once more. placed into formations-- they introduce themselves as team boom boom! and start off the show.
jaewon starts it off, the turn it up, pushing them all into motion. it’s movement made quick, smiles on their faces that match the beat. yoongi, sua and changmin slide forward with changmin in center. it’s quick hands, swaying bodies and synchronization.
cause you don’t even know.
at the second i can make your hands clap part he’s staring at bora as they clap their hands together quickly, before moving back into the focus choreography. then it moves into yoongi, longguo, bora and jaewon as they whip their bodies around to the beat. changmin moves up shortly after to do an impressive flip and jinsoul focuses her solo on waacking.
yoongi comes forward for the next you don’t even know part, and they move into it. they step to the side to leave jaewon singled-out, and he performs his centric enthusiastic clapping afterwards. the rest of them excluding jinsoul and longguo move center-- and at the final bout of clapping they all turn their heads to the two to witness their drop.
everynight when the starts come out,
yoongi slides forward-- front and center, and when everyone drops, he does too-- but instead, he does a split instead, pulling up his body slowly and languidly back into a standing position, a crooked grin on his face as he steps to the side. after him is jinsoul’s focus-- then sua and then jaewon. after, while everyone moves to the side yoongi’s solo move comes up-- and his body moves to the beat.
so can i get a hand clap?
from their longguo does a cute, aegyo centric move as the song moves to end. and all of them create a half circle around changmin, who ends the song with his b-boying solo before they all pose.
chest heaving, smile wide-- eyes trailing across the crowd. jeongguk stares back at him and yoongi feels the slightest bit better, the slightest bit more relieved.
in the beginning, they are seafoam and ocean breeze, the sand of busan in small shoes, families gathering together, and his tiny hand around a strand of her hair.
(she cries because he pulls too hard, and then he cries because she cries and he doesn’t understand. parents collect crying children in their arms, and life is simple.)
when he’s five years old, he gives her the prettiest seashell he ever found as a birthday present-- probably the best birthday present he ever gives her over the course of their repeatedly interwoven lifetimes. he never claims to be the best at gifts.
she puts it on her bedroom shelf, and he’s shocked to find it still there when he next visits, and the time after that, too, even with her lifestyle more lavish than his own.
he’s eight and she’s nine when daniel and his family move to vancouver-- a new job opportunity for dad, and so naturally, the others will follow.
at a young age, he learns he’s no good at goodbyes, especially involving her, and the sadness on her face.
“i don’t know if i’ll ever see you again,” a young daniel admits, gaze downcast. “but thank you for being my friend.”
“you will,” she says, with conviction, and a new smile in the face of this impending loss. he doesn’t know if he believes her then, but he doesn’t forget that moment, her faith, or the expression on her face for years to come.
she’s right, too, of course.
he’s suffocating in a fancy suit he hasn’t fully grown into, moreso in personality than stature, but a little bit of both. he’s in some city he doesn’t remember the name of that got him a new stamp on his passport because it’s somewhere in the united states, and the largest social event he’ll be at in the past several years will be his dad’s fancy bring-your-entire-family-to-prove-your-status business party.
“new york is so beautiful,” his mother coos in the taxi, and daniel sits, stuffed in between her and his older brother, mina, lucky enough to escape this event by remaining at the hotel with a babysitter their dad probably found off of craigslist because she’s too rebellious and would probably ruin their reputation if she came along. right. new york it is.
arriving at their destination doesn’t bring daniel any comfort. in fact, he only feels more intimidated, greeted by massive cobblestone steps that lead to a vast entryway, then a ballroom with vaulted ceilings and too many high class people for him to count. jaebeom and his parents easily disappear into the crowd, socializing like they’re made for this kind of fancy debauchery, and daniel just stands there, a taut smile forced onto his face.
eventually, he finds his way over to the catering table-- the highlight of this event, as far as he’s concerned. someone bumps into his arm as he reaches for some snack of salami and olives, both of them reaching for the same thing, and he quickly withdraws his hand, and when she laughs beside him, it’s familiar.
he turns to face her, and there she is-- kim bora, sua, in all her glory. he just stands, frozen, and stares for a bit, and she places the food onto his plate before reaching for her own.
“fancy seeing you here, kang-ssi,” she greets him, a smile, almost knowing, on her face, and daniel wonders if his childhood best friend is some psychic goddess of legend.
“uh, yeah,” he answers, with a cough, and ducks his head. she turns, leaning her weight against the table, plate full of party food and a fancy looking beverage that’s no doubt nonalcoholic poised in her hand, and she faces the rest of the party.
“i think our families are the only koreans here,” she remarks, and daniel laughs, then mirrors her posture to get his own look at the scene in front of them. sure enough, the most faces in the crowd are caucasian, though there’s some diversity.
“surely not. i mean, my dad’s from samsung; there have to be more koreans here,” and sua laughs. the smile lingers on daniel’s face. it vanishes as his mother approaches, however, and his posture grows more rigid-- less relaxed.
“oh, good,” the woman sighs, and she claps her hands together. “you already found a dance partner! go, mingle. do your family proud!” she saunters off into the crowd herself, inevitably to find her husband, and daniel visibly grimaces.
“guess i have to put my shoes back on,” sua deadpans, and daniel looks over to her, and down at her bare feet, then back to her as she walks away, presumably to find her shoes where they’re stashed under a table somewhere. meanwhile, daniel: utterly awed by the audacity of this girl.
he stands there, waiting-- turns his attention briefly to the food once again, trying to decide whether he wants to eat something else, but sua returns before he can finish that thought. “you know, she won’t even know if you don’t dance. she seems pretty busy with the rest of the party,” sua points out. tempting.
“she’d know,” daniel replies decisively, with a sigh of defeat. “she las like, six different pairs of eyes. she’s probably watching me right now. i’m better off just doing it, trust me.”
“okay then,” sua answers, and loops her arm, and daniel takes it hesitantly, led away from the comfort of the catering table onto the unfamiliar realm of the dance floor.
they fall into something of a slow dancing pose, a casual form of what daniel can only assume is some kind of waltz posture the others hold. how these business executives and high rollers all suddenly know how to waltz, daniel isn’t sure; why his mother expects him to hold his own in an environment like this when he’s never danced a day in his life is even more of a mystery.
he steps on sua’s toes almost immediately. “sorry,” he apologizes. “it’s a good thing i got my shoes after all,” sua fires back, easy smile on her face, and daniel looks down at their feet to hide how his face goes red. it doesn’t stop him from still stepping on her feet again-- and again. he apologizes again, and sua shakes her head. “ it's okay, really. i’ll just use champagne buckets full of ice for my toes later.”
she must see the guilt on his face, because she adds, “it’s fine. i’ve done worse to myself,” and somehow daniel doesn’t find that very comforting. besides that, they probably look horrible-- the opposite of what their parents likely want for them-- graceful teens that carry themselves with elegance and dignity. rest in peace.
the song ends, and daniel thinks he’ll be able to get away, but sua ropes him into an additional song, clearly in her element. he sacrifices his pride and just lets her take the lead.
[ warning: hospitals, illness, death ]
daniel wonders who decided to make hospitals white, all color and life sucked out of the surroundings to reflect the happenings inside them. maybe, if there was more color, the place wouldn’t hang so heavy with dread and death.
it’s daniel’s entire family this time, on a plane to seoul to visit grandfather kang, on his last legs. the understanding is that he isn’t going to make it-- that they’ll be lucky to see him one last time, but daniel doesn’t want to accept it yet, even as pneumonia stacks on top of lung cancer. in between this are discussions, overheard between his parents, about moving back to korea for the support of extended family.
the sight of his grandfather in the hospital bed is sobering, and daniel, his father and his brother take a seat beside it, waiting, in case he wakes up. “they say he sleeps most of the time, these days,” daniel’s father explains. “at least that seems peaceful.” daniel nods, in agreement, and he thinks he hears jaebeom sniffle, though he keeps up a brave face. mina lingers, still standing, evidently unsure of what to do with herself.
their mother excuses herself before long, to see an old, ill friend who’s also in this hallway, and the whole family nods. daniel catches up to her before long, because he can’t take the heavy atmosphere and wants to give his father some space.
his mother explains her relationship with the woman they visit: a friend from busan, a son around daniel’s age, and it’s only when she says the name that daniel’s memory catches up. he doesn’t remember the woman, but he does remember her son, of course-- yoo changhyun, another friend they left behind in busan.
this is a hospital bed he feels he has even less of a place beside, as his mother puts flowers she brought on a table on the other side of the room, chattering on; daniel doesn’t really listen. he just stays in place, seated, and when ricky’s mother looks at him, he offers a smile. “thank you for taking care of us so well,” he mutters. “i’ll be cheering for you to get well.”
when they emerge, there’s sua, sitting in one of the chairs in the hallway outside the hospital room, eyes red and face pale, and he jumps when he sees her. the rest of daniel’s family continues on to the hospital cafeteria, but he lingers, and takes the seat beside her. she doesn’t talk for a while, just fidgets with the tissue in her lap.
“you here for ricky’s mom?” daniel asks, daring to break the silence. she simply nods, and then looks at him, the question in her eyes, but not leaving her lips.
“my grandfather,” he says regardless.
“i’m sorry.”
“there’s nothing you could do.”
“still, i wish things could be different.” daniel doesn’t argue with that. he wishes they could be too, for both of them. they fall into silence, sitting there in the hallway, searching their reserves for hope, holding back mourning.
“this sucks,” sua sighs at last, and she leans her head on daniel’s shoulder.
“yeah. it does.”
he’s silver hair and dark makeup, bass slung over his shoulder, always haphazard, unabashedly so, for once-- someone else on stage entirely, all cameo and little daniel under small stage lights. empty enigma finishes their set, says their goodbyes, and as the lights dim, he looks out into the crowd, finally able to properly see their audience for the first time.
it’s sizable, but humble enough-- a few diehard fans, and the others that just happened to be in the area, possible wrong place at the wrong time. as he scans the crowd, he catches sight of a familiar pair of eyes, narrowed in suspicion. he spins on his heel, turning away before the surprise shows on his face, and he fleas backstage, sure to lurk around longer than usual so he doesn’t catch sua on the way out.
when she takes the stage the second round of the mgas, he’s stunned. he watches, with rapt attention, until her performance ends.
what are the odds of their paths crossing here? then again, they’ve crossed in so many places now, it shouldn’t take him by surprise anymore.
she catches him backstage, and when she does, it’s with a comment of, “is everything you do related to church?”
he laughs a little, and scratches the back of his neck. “that’s...the goal, i think.”
each week he survives, backstage: daniel, his nerves, bouncing legs, and eyes on sua. she always stands out a little more than most.
✦ — MGA4 EPISODE 6: SUMMERTIME
#4048: HA SUNGWOON ; outfit [ x ], hair [ x ]
TEAM D (SOLSTICE): @rkxseola, @rkxsua, @rkkyungri, @rkssoojin, @rkmbin
performance: view - shinee lc9 / line distribution
fourth place once more.
sungwoon feels like he should protest, but he can’t bring himself to disagree with the ceos’ assessment. fourth place—they should’ve been lower, he thinks, dizzy. his team may have performed first, but almost every single group that came after them was better, more exciting, more cohesive. their stage had been lacklustre compared to even some of the lower ranked teams, and sungwoon genuinely can’t understand why they seem to have been given a free pass while others had to go home. as hyun bin said, maybe it did boil down to the fact that it would be a shame if one of them were to go home.
but sungwoon wants more than a concession.
maybe he’s aiming too high. looking at things from a different perspective, fourth place is good. fourth place is survival. unlike daniel, who’s facing the prospect of saying goodbye to yet another team member, fourth place means sungwoon gets to advance with the rest of his team. it’s an enviable position, so the last thing sungwoon should be doing is bitching about it. any of the people eliminated would’ve killed to be in his position. be grateful for what you have, he tells himself, but that is something easier said than done. underneath the gratitude is fire. sungwoon doesn’t settle.
fourth place never again.
a new theme means a new team. this time around, sungwoon is working with people he hasn’t teamed up with before. to be honest, he’s a little disappointed; he wants the chance to work with daniel at least once before they’re both booted from the competition. he genuinely feels like he’s at his best with empty enigma, and while daniel isn’t the whole band, he’s close enough—and all sungwoon really has in this competition. mnet seems determined to keep them apart like a less fatal and less romantic version of romeo and juliet, however.
he’s a little nervous too, frankly. aside from a couple of his new teammates, he’s not familiar with the skillsets of the rest, nor does he really know much about them. there’s always some element of ‘will they be able to work well together?’ going into these things, but after last week’s realization, sungwoon is trying to keep more of an open mind and not jump to conclusions or judgements before he even meets the people in question.
and a good thing too. his worries are unfounded, for the most part. everyone in team d is around the same age, so they’re able to settle into a comfortable atmosphere fairly early on, helped along with some shared inappropriate jokes and plenty of laughter. with the ice broken, they move on to the usual decisions. bin gets made leader by default, since he’s the only one of them who hasn’t held the title during the competition yet. even though the appointment is a little lacklustre, sungwoon applauds him enthusiastically. he knows bin will do a great job regardless.
song selection comes next, with a bunch of ideas being thrown around before they finally settle on shinee’s lc9’s view. it’s a good song—evoking that kind of easy, almost lazily playful summer feeling—and the track that ostensibly started a new trend in the country’s pop music, sound-wise. unlike sungwoon’s previous performance, the song and choreography have flair too; vocally interesting enough to please him, and visually appealing as well. the only thing he’s apprehensive about is the choreography. lc9 are known for their dancing, and view’s choreography is not easy. once again, he’s the weakest dancer on the team, but this time, sungwoon doesn’t have the luxury of altering the dance to be easier on him. he just has to learn it as-is and hope for the best.
thankfully, their group is filled with talented people: sua and soojin both offer to help with the dancing, and hyunjung is not far behind. kyungri’s a huge asset too, and bin’s a good leader, keeping spirits up. sungwoon offers to help with the singing as well; everyone is fairly talented vocally, but he still offers a few pointers as they learn their lines. he works with sua especially, since they have an equal equivalency exchange going on. sungwoon helps her with vocals and sua, in turn, helps him with the choreography. he’s grateful for her help; this is tougher than anything else he’s done in the competition thus far.
the first few days of working with her are filled with mistakes, each accompanied by a small crack in his mental fortitude. he’s not used to being bad at things. and not just the ordinary kind of bad, but laughably bad. he doesn’t know what he’s doing with his body and he gets tired too quickly while following the choreography. sungwoon’s worried he’ll get out of breath while singing the song and his vocals will suffer as a consequence, so he pushes himself harder. if there’s one thing he knows how to do, it’s sing, and he’s determined to show a good side of himself regarding that first and foremost, especially when he has a song that actually suits his abilities well for once.
but he can’t neglect the dancing part of their performance either, no matter how hard he tries. sungwoon knows he’ll never make it up from fourth place unless he find a way to elevate his performances as a whole, and the best way to do that is really commit to the summer vibe in all aspects—including dancing. too anxious over potentially losing practice time to commuting, he sleeps in the practice room with a couple others once more. sua does offer to let them stay over since she lives nearby, but sungwoon’s a little old fashioned and doesn’t think it would be right for him to sleep over at her house. he’s gotten used to the practice room floors anyway, although nova’s are a little different than royal or kt.
sungwoon does as much as he can on his own, but even he knows he’s barely getting anywhere and eventually has to enlist the aid of hyunjung. he’s a little embarrassed to need so much help, but she’s patient with him and even gives sungwoon a much needed pep talk. he can’t disagree with her either. he is in his head too much, analyzing every mistake, stumbling over himself every time he hits a move less-than-perfectly. but view is a song that embodies confidence and ease as much as it does skill. hyunjung tells him that he’s been improving and to believe in himself, and he takes those words to heart. maybe too much—at the same time, he accidentally blurts out that he “can see why my friend has a big fat crush on you—” but sungwoon’s fervently hoping the cameras don’t catch that.
with hyunjung’s encouragement, he tries approaching practice with a different mindset. “get out of your head,” sungwoon tells his reflection in the empty practice room. “get out of your own damn head.” it’s not really the kind of pep talk hyunjung delivered, but when he starts again, he lets the music guide him, focuses on tell himself that he can do this. the key is not to think too hard, to sell his dancing ability to himself before he can sell it to anyone else. there’s no rule that states you have to be a good dancer to enjoy dancing, and maybe that’s what sungwoon has been missing. he has to enjoy his performance.
he still makes a few mistakes. one wrong step even sends him sprawling to the floor, landing hard on both knees. for a moment, sungwoon stays in that position, head bowed and jaw clenched in pain, before nodding to himself and standing up. “i can do this,” he says out loud. “i believe in myself.” it’s cheesy, but he needs the affirmation to keep going. smiling at himself in the mirror, he ignores his aching knees and throws himself back into practice. things are smoother this time around, or he’s able to cover up the mistakes faster than he can notice them. either way, he’s determined to carry this attitude to the stage.
thursday—or friday, really—comes with some reprieve. sua’s birthday is the following week, but soojin wants to take the chance to celebrate it now. the whole week has been filled with covert preparations for a small party on their final day together, which ends up coming into fruition at around one am on friday morning. sungwoon had run out earlier citing ‘digestive problems’ to get a cake from the shop he works at, while soojin prepares the champagne (he’s not going to ask how she could afford that. rich kids everywhere). when the time comes, they light the candles, bring out the cakes, and all sing happy birthday for sua.
after food and drinks comes the party. most of it is just silliness, unwinding a bit after the tense week. sungwoon dances to psy’s new face in front of everyone because he can and gets really tipsy and red-faced after a glass and a half of champagne. he feels like his obnoxiously loud laughter can be heard from blocks away, but he’s just—happy, for once, and not stressed over the day’s performance. whatever will happen will happen, but he wants to enjoy these moments for now.
they’re performing second-to-last this time, which gives sungwoon a chance to observe some of the other teams. team a in particular are doing one of his favorite songs, and he can’t help but cheer loudly for them (because junmyeon too). team b have jinsoul and mingyu together and sungwoon is the epitome of every embarrassing dad on the sidelines during Sports as he cheers them on. he can’t miss out on supporting jei, guanlin, and daniel either, and when the time comes for team d to take the stage, he’s slightly bewildered—where did all their time go? oh right, it passed by while he was having too much fun supporting his friends.
bin introduces their team as a whole before everyone gets the opportunity to do individual self-introductions. sungwoon’s is short with his characteristic flair: “i’m your refreshing summer breeze, contestant 4048, ha sungwoon!” the words bring a smile out of him; in some ways, they’re the antithesis of what squall means, in the same way that the sungwoon he is up on this stage is the antithesis of the image he shows with his band. but this is good too—a different kind of good, a challenging kind of good. even though he’s dancing instead of playing the keyboard, it still feels like a version of him he’s comfortable with.
he takes his place, breathing deeply to calm some of the nerves. believe in yourself. as long as sungwoon trusts in himself to do this, the audience will be receptive to him too. as the music starts, a lazy half-smile works its way onto his face, transforming his normal sunny expression into one that is a little sexier than his previous performances—but this lc9 and view and the song is about a sultry summer romance, so why not?
sua starts off the performance, then the song moves to bin before sungwoon’s first part comes up. his smirk deepens as he sings his lines, confidence radiating from his moves, even if they’re less polished than the rest of his teammates’. he’s worked so damn hard to get here, to be comfortable with his dancing, and he hopes it comes across to the audience.
i feel that you’ve become sensitive
a clear color
and the sixth sense, tonight is the night
their voices blend together for the chorus as they harmonize while keeping to the original choreography. with lc9, it’s best not to take too many liberties; the original song is good enough as it is. they also have good enough vocalists within the group that working together to deliver a powerful and beautiful chorus is only playing to their strengths. sungwoon’s careful not to overpower any of the others as he sings, but he really does love this song and can’t help but put his all into it.
such a beautiful view
such a beautiful view
show me more, the next view
such a beautiful view
such a beautiful view
such a beautiful view
show me more, the next view
such a beautiful view
his next lines are alongside soojin, providing some of the higher notes as she sings the main part. sungwoon relishes the chance to put his voice through the paces, reaching the heights effortlessly since this is his speciality. then it’s his turn to bring in the chorus, with kyungri joining in, and sungwoon takes the opportunity to wink at the camera with his final line. last week taught him a lot about appealing to the audience and being charismatic on stage; he channels that into his expressions and his movements, accepting now that selling your performance through charisma is as important as skill.
it’s alright if it’s weird
the moment you pass the limit
of your sleeping senses
the chorus comes around again, with sungwoon ad libbing after the second line. he allows himself to be loud there, since there’s no fear of overpowering. he can really take that singular moment to shine. everyone else gets their moments as well. sungwoon stumbles a little during one of the chorus’ moves, but he’s near the back and hopes no one can see his flub. he doesn’t dwell too much on it though, moving onto the next part, his expression never changing. he would’ve frozen, maybe panicked, a week ago at the thought of making a mistake on stage, but as long as he doesn’t act like it’s a problem, the audience won’t know either. just focus on enjoying the stage, he tells himself.
such a beautiful view
such a beautiful view
show me more, the next view
such a beautiful view
such a beautiful view
such a beautiful view
show me more, the next view
such a beautiful view
they decided to go with something different after the bridge. it’s more of a freestyle dance moment and a chance to engage with the audience. in keeping with the theme of summer, they get to just jump around and have fun on stage. the staff placed stuffed dolls near the edge of the stage for the team to pick up during this segment. sungwoon scoops one up as he sings, having fun with the music, and tosses it into the audience. there’s a cheer from where someone catches it.
to that
take me to (beautiful place)
(i’ll never leave you lonely)
not forgetting about his adlibs, he picks the second one up and makes a heart before gearing up and throwing it into the crowd like it’s a baseball. he laughs as someone leaps up to catch it and shoots them a couple of finger hearts before returning to the rest of his team for the ending pose. he’s tired, frankly, and sweaty, and he feels the summer heat bearing down on him, but sungwoon grins out at the crowd and at his teammates, knowing he did his best. he hopes it’s enough to bring him above fourth place—because his team deserves so much more—but if this has to be his final performance, then he’s alright with that.
because he’s learned a thing or two (or ten) and knows he’ll walk away from here as a better performer. and maybe… well, it’s given him a lot to think about his future.
✧ ———— MGA: SEASON FOUR, episode six! — group performance
park kyungri ( #4023 ) — view - shinee / lc9 ( line distribution ) ———— ✧
featuring: @rkxsua, @rkssoojin, @rkxseola, @rkmbin & @rkxsungwoon
deep down, a part of kyungri had truly hoped that she would of come out on top once, at least once. ever since she had began to notice some form of pattern forming, she began to lose count of her loses, more so she was choosing to ignore them. kyungri was good at turning negatives in her life into positives. still, what is the point of counting if it’s inevitable you’re going to lose. she had fallen into a dark mindset when she and her group members went their separate ways years ago. training, singing and dancing had somehow become all she knew. how was she to go home when her home had been them for so many years? for so long, kyungri was bitter and angry of her misfortune, and only within the last year or so had she finally resolved those issues within herself. her time was limited, she had to make the most of what time she had. in the back of her head, a voice pesters her, telling her repetitively that she is the dead weight holding back her team, but if she was the dead weight, wouldn’t she be out of here by now?
this whole thing truly is a survival of the fittest.
despite it all, kyungri was still here afloat; doing her absolute best each and every week. her losses served as a platform for her to grow and learn from, and even if it’s hard to decipher her own personal mistakes each week, it does give her something to do. she’s overcome with relief upon hearing the next mission theme, it being summer. it’s probably kyungri’s favourite season, and besides, who didn’t love a summer bop? once again, kyungri is put into a new team compiled of totally new faces ( well, technically, she knows of everyone, she just hasn’t had the opportunity to truly interact with everyone as of this moment, she’s a busy woman ). as usual, she is quick to greet everyone warmly, introducing herself even though it’s obviously more than likely that they know who she is. each and every week, a similar pattern occurs, the group talks for a little while before unanimously deciding on a leader, a song and a group name.
and so it begins, yet again, another week of endless grinding and working overtime into the early hours of the morning, hoping and praying for better results than the week before. the team had unanimously decided on view for their stage, to which kyungri had no objections towards. it’s only then that she’s thinking to herself that this has to be her week. it isn’t like kyungri to not work hard, she isn’t someone who naturally slacks off. she’s always prided herself on her work ethic and her ability to stay focused even when the goings get tough, so even when the heat is turned up ( quite literally ), she’s thankful she has the ability to keep a level head. and kyungri promises herself in that very moment to not let anything hold her back from going for gold this week.
this week for kyungri really is like any other. if one was to review all of the past weeks to this one, they would line up. kyungri’s routine was to revise the choreography and then learn it, along with it would come the actual lyric learning, and while she didn’t really have a choice in terms of learning it at her own pace, sometimes she could pick and choose what she wanted to learn first, depending on what she was really feeling. the song is very cool and refreshing, it’s upbeat and fun. the choreography is a little different to what kyungri usually leans towards, as the original artist is known for their smooth, sharp yet effortless choreography; it definitely makes the whole learning process a little bit more fun than usual. kyungri can only hope that her and her team come through with a performance that truly impresses the judges. as the week goes by, as it had done in the past, kyungri’s insecurities about her lack of success on the mgas disappears and she finds herself looking at the bigger picture a lot more until it’s all she can see. the energy amongst her team members in the practice room fuels her passion and will to go harder.
she can only hope and pray that there is more of this from this moment onwards.
kyungri really does appreciate the moments leading up to her own performance on stage. while she does analyse the competition, she always takes her time to enjoy the stages before her own, smiling and cheering on those who she’s had opportunity to work with in the past. people never fail to not only amaze kyungri, but inspire her. before she knows it, it’s showtime for her and team solstice, everyone heads backstage together as directed, gathering together to say their thanks to one another; that and a whole lot of group hype. and strangely, the nerves she thought would surface haven’t; it feels as though kyungri is fighting away demons and they go beyond the usual nerves a performer would experience, it’s all deeply rooted in her failure as an idol. coming to terms with one of her greatest fears was more than a challenge for kyungri, and knowing that she has little to no control about how her life in this industry is directed frightens her. all she can do is keep her head down and work hard, and some day all of that hard work will be rewarded.
everyone files out onto stage and assembles, bowing in unison before introducing themselves as both a team and individually. when given the green light, kyungri and her team members assume their positions on stage, readying themselves for the song to begin. kyungri focuses on keeping her composure as the song starts, hitting each and every part of the choreography, wanting to execute it to the best of her abilities, or in her mind, perfectly. kyungri’s moment to sing suddenly arises, and without fault, she smiles. anyone who is watching from the audience or at home on their televisions could see than she is clearly passionate about what she does. kyungri loves to perform. she works hard in the studio to ensure that she succeeds and shines on the final stage, and kyungri can only hope that she somehow does it all again and gets through another week. the vibe of the song stays true to the theme for this week, it’s summery and fun, reminding kyungri of late nights by a hotel pool on a hot summer night, surrounded by good company.
the performance thus far goes to plan, although the reaction of the audience says a lot, when the group doesn’t follow through with the said choreography, and instead does their own thing. their idea fitted in with the theme of summer, their performance was light-hearted and fun, and what was a summer stage without a bit of summer fun? kyungri grooves to the music, even going as far to shoot finger hearts at the audience with a bright and wide smile on her face. she edges forward to the stage upon seeing the staff place the dolls at the edge of the stage. picking them up in unison, kyungri pretends to kiss the foreheads of the dolls before gently throwing them out into the audience. even in amongst the slight excitement and madness on stage, kyungri keeps up with the song, remembering her cue to sing her part and doing adlibs when necessary.
they finish together, on point and in time, and even with her back turned to the audience, her face only slightly showing, there is a huge smile on kyungri’s face. and here they were, yet another performance done and down and with hope, many more to go. team solstice then break their formation to gather together, bowing towards the audience before making their way off stage carefully. and even despite last week and even the week before that, nothing beats this feeling.
Legs kicked up on the table, another slice of pizza finds its way past Yuna’s lips before her teeth sink into the cheesy bread to tug off a piece of heaven itself. “Y’know...” She begins in between bites, wiggling her toes lazily within the boundaries of the pads rolled between them to keep them spread until the nail polish would dry. “... when Marilyn Monroe says ‘Diamonds are a girl’s best friend’ I can’t help but wonder if she’s really right ‘bout that.” Head tilting the streamer swallows her bite and reaches for her self-made cocktail, straw disappearing between her lips as her gaze meets that of one of the new friends she’s made since moving here.
“Sure, diamonds are awesome but so is pizza and chocolate and ice cream- food in general! There’s also fancy gadgets and a comfy bed... doesn’t it seem like a girl has a lot of best friends if y’think ‘bout it that way?!”
Aside from some of his friends being nova trainees, the sole purpose of why he was two blocks away from the building was that late night food market. It was one of those rare once that announces their location via social media the night before, and this particular one stays throughout the whole weekend. So naturally, being a university student running on caffeine while catching up on all the projects and papers he’s deferred because of the MGAs, Minho thought some light snacking at 1am, all they way across the river was the best way to take a break.
He hadn’t expected to run into one of the contestant, that he was personally rooting for in the MGAs. “Bora-si?” Minho blinks mid-bite of his snack, peering down at the talented petite lady that stood a few steps beside him.
MGA season 4, ep. 5 - Mashups
Team C - Café Latte
#4005 ( Jin Longguo ) #4009 ( Kim Bora ) #4042 ( Hwang Hyunjin )
#4033 Lee Luda, vocals
Blackpink / BTS - Stay / Coffee
Keeping herself busy, Luda didn't get a lot of sleep the previous night. She was tired as she took the bus to KT's building and she hadn't been able to eat in the morning, worrying how things would go this week. Especially the thought of her teammates not accepting her, after the groups she was in placed last twice in a row, made her worry. So many things could go wrong – not being accepted or the team not getting along only being the tip of the iceberg.
She'd packed snacks for everyone again, focusing on healthier options that would give them more energy, a pillow and all the notes she'd made vocal and dance techniques and anything that could help with a good performance.
The first surprise happened when she arrived – there were four boxes with each of the team members' name on one of them – except one. One girl – Yerim – had decided to drop out of the show and left them care packages and a note, her words surrounded by hearts. Luda isn't sure how to feel, while many thoughts run through her mind. Without thinking, she walks over to the closest camera, her box in hands.
“Dear Yerim, whatever the reason for your decision, I hope things will go well for you. Thank you very much for these,” she says as she lifts the box up once. “Don't worry too much about leaving us with one less team member and I hope you're doing well, that nothing serious happened. Again, thank you,” she felt her eyes tear up a little, even though she didn't know the girl personally. But it must have been a difficult choice – it was possible something really bad happened and she could only hope that wasn't the case. Quickly, she blinked the threatening tears away and continued, trying to smile, “and good luck!”
She walked back to where she'd taken the box from and inspected all the snacks and water they now had, including what she'd brought. At least the chances of having to run out and buy something were pretty slim for now.
She sat down and looked around the room. It was a bright room, nicely lit and she liked it. It felt comfortable somehow. She remembered back to the prior two weeks and could already imagine the smell of their effort, not to say sweat.
To her luck, the team seemed to get along very well. On the opposite side, she'd been voted leader. Saying she was unhappy with it, would be an understatement. She wasn't sure she could live up to the responsibility and was scared of the possible consequences following bad leadership. She could only do her best and was glad the others would help her where she lacked. Helping with the choreography, for example, wasn't an option seeing her skills. But she would do everything she could to always keep a good mood, to be open to everyone's worries, make sure everyone had everything they needed – also concerning snacks and water – and remind everyone to not slack off if needed. It was a “takes a deep breath and face your fears” kind of situation to her. It would surely help her grow, but she didn't know that yet.
Planning and throwing ideas around seemed to be going well and everyone had a few nice choices in mind, until they eventually decided on a mash-up of Stay and Coffee, by Blackpink and BTS which she found to be a very pleasing choice. It was a calm song, but not boring. It had a lightweight feel to it, seasoned with nostalgia and melancholic memories. She'd never dated anyone, never really been with anyone, so she couldn't speak from experience. But she did know the feeling of being left behind by someone dear to her very well and it would always be a part of her. The kind of part that jumped on your shoulders and weighed you down heavily. She blinked to shoo the tears away that gathered in her eyes and led her thoughts back to their performance.
Trying to think positively and not let her past consume her, she focused on this weeks concept. So far she'd only done strong concepts for the team battles and this would just suit her SO MUCH better, it made her very excited. That aside she loved coffee and thinking about coffee themed anything had her mind on overdrive. She wasn't good with the bitter ones, but she loved all the different sweet ones. Inspired by her affection for coffee and her teammates ideas, she had different ones going through her mind, though she didn't voice a good part, feeling like some of them were a bit too much.
“If we go with the theme of 'cafe latte' we could each choose a type of coffee for ourselves, for introductions, after introducing the team together?” she threw in the mix of options, excited about that idea and leaning towards a sweet macchiato caramel or cappuccino for herself. To her joy, the idea was accepted.
She admired Sua and Hyunjin for coming up with an amazing choreo in this short amount of time, though she felt rather flustered at a few parts. At the same time she was glad that they decided on pairing the stronger dancers with the less strong ones when they weren't all dancing together. The idea of couple dances seemed very cute to her and she had a feeling that they would do very well this time. She didn't know why, but it felt like this time things were just... right.
Her positive thoughts made her stomach feel a little sick sometimes and she ended up practising even when she originally planned to take a break. She was scared of thinking anything she did was good enough and throughout the week, she continued to push her limits.
Practising lines went pretty well in her opinion, also thanks to the additional knowledge from her little anger fuelled research after last weeks results. She had a better idea on how to sing certain parts – also thanks to a few (video) analyses of stay that she watched – and improved her breathing technique to be able to sing stabler when dancing. She was also really impressed with Longguo's singing and voice.
Dancing on the other hand was still more problematic and didn't go as well right from the start. Add to that the flustered feeling some of the dance moves evoked and there you have a reason for Luda to be worried again, even if things actually went well. But with determination to do her best and the help of her team she managed to jump over that hurdle as well.
One of the most worrying days was probably Tuesday. She was still surprised by Hyunjin approaching her and worried if everything really was okay again during the days after. She had no idea what the reason could have been, but also wasn't going to ask about it. Competitions like these were difficult to handle for anyone and shouldn't be underestimated. Breaking down could happen easily and she wasn't sure herself, how she'd managed to not have a strong breakdown yet, being an emotional person and all.
Luda found especially interesting that the whole team seemed to often sleep at the practise room, to the point where the term “team sleepover” came up and it felt like there was always someone around. It was motivating, but also calming, knowing that she wasn't alone, even if she happened to be the only one awake. She could probably have made it home every now and then, but she wanted to stay as much as possible to practise as much as possible and didn't want to waste any time.
The week passed by way too fast and she was earnestly sad that their time together was as good as over. At the same time, she hoped they'd do really well and wouldn't place last.
As they waited for their turn – luckily they would be up soon, as the third team to perform – Luda was just as nervous as before the two previous performances. While she thought they would do a lot better, exactly that was what made her worry – what if not? What if she'd messed up as a leader? But because she was the leader after all, she tried to conceal her nerves and to look confident.
When they were told to standby, she quickly turned to the other three and smiled.
“I know I was a bit lacking as a leader, but thank you all for helping me, wherever I needed help,“ she started, thinking especially of the choreography. “I really had fun preparing for this performance, even if it wasn't always easy. I know we'll do well!” At the end of her little speech, if it could be called that, she felt more confident than just seconds ago. She remembered the long hours of practise and how tired she'd been a lot of the time but also how much she'd enjoyed preparing nonetheless.
They walked up on the stage and introduced the team together.
“Café Latte: a team with a unique flavour that will stay with you and warm your heart with a rich and mature message like espresso, and lighter and heart-fluttering vocals like milk foam!” and when it was her turn, she smiled her sweetest smile and introduced herself.
“Hello! I'm team Café Lattes Caramel Macchiato and leader Lee Luda!”, she winked at the audience. “With refreshing and sweet vocals, like bitter espresso and sweet caramel, I hope you will be enticed by my voice and enjoy our performance. Please support us!” She ended her intro with finger hearts.
After they all said their intros, they got into position.
The lights dimmed and Luda sat on a chair alone, lights focusing on her. Beginning and being alone in the spotlight was very nerve wrecking during their practise. Since she was sitting, she'd have to focus all emotion on her expression, body language and especially her voice. Practising to put emotion into her voice had been both fun and difficult and she quite liked doing this. It just gave her singing that little extra thing which was quite nice.
So easily, with harsh words
You put scars in my heart
Without even saying sorry
Again, I’m comforting myself
Always nervous
If you’re gonna leave me
I just want you to stay
She started singing softly, portraying the songs sadness in her voice and looking into the camera with the worry of someone leaving, that she knew all too well. Her part came to an end and she lowered her arm onto her lap, looking down. The other members walked past her, so she could seamlessly blend in at the back, as Hyunjin rapped. The melancholic but not too heavy expression the song asked for was surprisingly easy for her and might surprise anyone who only knew her happy smiles.
This sad melody resembles you
It makes me cry, eh eh
Your scent is a sweet felony
I hate you so much but I love you, yeah
Before the dark night traps me in
Don’t leave me
The two different songs blended together well and she easily felt the right mood for the performance. Her voice was clear and suited the song well. She was completely immersed in the performance and the dance seemed more naturally than during her previous stages. She ad-libbed the yeah prettily and looked directly at the camera again.
After she'd had two big parts at the beginning, she wouldn't have to sing much for a while that seemed a lot shorter than it was and she concentrated on the dance. Even though the song was a bit slower, they didn't opt for standing in front of microphones or a super easy dance and kept a high standard, to show all of their skills and their will to move on to the next round.
As Hyunjin rapped his next lines, she concentrated on getting the dance right, down to the smallest details, but was also glad that the audience would focus on him. Body rolls weren't her speciality and it made her feel embarrassed at first but during practise she'd learned to get over herself and give all parts her best. She still felt insecure with the flustering parts – the one coming up now being a back hug – but she'd learned to keep her expression straight and hold eye-contact when needed instead of immediately looking away.
Before the dark night traps me in
Don’t leave me
Do you still love me? If you feel the same
Don’t leave today
She sang her parts clearly and honestly, relating to the lyrics more than she would like to admit and hoped her voice shined as much as she felt it did. Except for a few more “stay with me” that was her last part and she continued to focus on dance and expression. As she looked to the audience, she felt a rush go through her body and she knew this was why she wanted to stand on stage. This was why she'd barely slept the whole week and did her best during dances she found embarrassing.
She kept her breath steady and mentally prepared for the next part, which she'd feared most. She had to be very careful of not getting into Hyunjin's space. Being twirled around and then having to twirl once more after getting back on the ground had ended with her falling flat on the floor during her first practise of the song. She lost balance a few more times during practise, but the more she'd tried, the better she got so that now, she could pull it off on stage.
Another back-hug, she broke free from, and then the 2nd part she was very worried about. She'd be slowly let down on the ground and had to keep torso and legs in one straight line. She did well and before she knew it, her most feared part came. It wasn't the most difficult, but the most embarrassing. The girl let herself glide lower into splits, while moving her hand backwards through her hair and glancing into the camera for a moment before looking back at Hyunjin. She bent her knees a little and let herself fall forward, where Hyunjin caught her, ending the performance in a hug.
She did her best to not break the ending pose too quickly as she felt flustered. But soon the audiences cheers felt like a rush going through her veins and while she was out of breath, she was happy. It was as though she fell in love with standing on stage, like she slowly became addicted to it.
