#romance aversion

[arohugs]

As a child I was very touchy, I would always be hugging my friends and anyone that I wanted to befriend. Like I was just like yes, hugs and sharing and stuff. However as I grew older I became more and more distant. Unless it was family members or friends I knew for a really long time, I would give people hugs. Why? I was learning that physical affection = romance. And I didn't want romance. I didn't like it, I didn't understand it and I didn't want to. Even now, I won't be physically affectionate with anyone unless I know romance isn't even an option. I could be super close with someone but if I think that my actions or theirs might be interpreted in a romantic way, no fucking way am I going to cuddle with them or constantly hug them. Even if I want to. I hate this. Fuck amatonormativity.

[tiredbluejay]

Romance aversion is weird. Like, for the most part, I’m fine with displays of romance, but the minute those same displays are directed towards me, it’s full on “No thank you, I don’t like that, please get it away from me.”

[greyspec]

that greyro mood when

me: i really like you!

me: [on a quasi date] y i k e s

[aromantichelp-blog]

Hi :) I saw your post about not having to be totally averse to romance to be aromantic, and I was wondering if you could explain this to me in a bit more detail? Because I'm questioning my lack of romantic attraction rn and it would help me greatly

Hi lovely :)

I’ve been offline for awhile, so I’m not sure which post you are referring to, but I will try to answer your question.

So people can have different ‘attitudes’ towards romance, regardless of orientation. One might be romance adverse, which means you don’t want to participate in romance; romance neutral, which means you don’t have any strong feelings about whether or not you want to participate in romance; or romance favourable, meaning you would like to participate in romance.

You may be wondering, “How could someone be romance favourable if they are aromantic, and don’t experience romantic attraction?” Many reasons. Maybe you are curious about romantic relationships. Maybe you want the emotional closeness of a romantic relationships, or the associated perks. Maybe you only feel comfortable having sex within a romantic relationship. Even if you can’t articulate a reason, it’s totally valid to want a romantic relationship, even if you are aromantic.

Hope that helps! -Mod Michy

[bipedalseal]

damn i wish i was 13 again and not recoiling at any and every depiction of romance so i could actually read fics of my favorite pairings in my favorite dynamics

[sapphiric-aces]

I always feel really badly whenever I date anyone, because I never get any further than hanging out them, due to the fact that even kissing grosses me out, and holding hands isn't my thing. :\ What's the point where you should tell someone you're ace? Should you do it even before you date? So you don't, like, lead them on...? I always try to explain my preferences, but it's always after, and things never work out. Is it wrong to not tell someone you're ace before you enter into a relationship?

Hmm, it sounds like you’re romance-repulsed, or at least romance-averse, as well. That’s something worth looking into, mind you.

I think you should play it by ear. I’ve seen people say to wait to tell your date you’re asexual after a few dates, and others say right away. It’s not cruel to hold back from talking about it, and you likely won’t be “depriving” anyone of sex.

But it sounds like run-of-the-mill romantic stuff has a negative effect on you, and as most people will be comfortable with romance, it’s probably best to explain to them how you feel sooner than later, as not to jeopardize your comfort zone.

It isn’t morally wrong to omit the details of your identity, no. That should depend solely on what you think is best, and no one else’s opinions should factor in on it more than your own.

Of course, my perspective is one of many that we have to offer.

☾~ Mod Saph

[aromantichelp-blog]

so like if I hate kissing and cuddles and holding hands and dates and sweet talking does it make me aromantic? I mean I care about my gf more than a normal friend I think but I hate doing all that stuff.

Hey! So it sounds like you may be romance adverse. Romance adverse is when you don’t really like things that you consider romantic. So if you consider kissing, cuddles, etc. romantic then you may be romance adverse if that makes any sense?Your orientation depends upon how you experience attraction. So if you don’t feel romantic attraction to people (get crushes), then you may be aromantic!

Best of luck!-Hedgie

[aromantichelp-blog]

Hi, I just wanted to say thanks for constantly reblogging that thing about not needing to be romance-repulsed to be aro. When it comes to fandoms I'm really big on shipping, and sometimes it can feel like that kinda invalidates my orientation.

Aww no problem! I’m happy that it helped you! I totally get how you feel, I can be pretty intense with shipping people too aha xD