Doctor Who and Fandom’s Enforcement of the Patriarchy: Why the fandom turns a blind eye to the significance of Rose Tyler and believes the Doctor will always love his TARDIS more than anyone else.
Part 1: Women must conform to the male gaze to be worthy of love
It’s 2005 and after sixteen years, Doctor Who is back on screens. But it’s different this time. Previously, the Doctor kept his companions at arms length. Caring for them but never getting too close. Women were added to the show as simple eye candy for the male viewers. Literally referred to by one of the producers as “something for the dads.” They were certainly not there to be people for the Doctor to adore. And certainly not there as people for the Doctor to fall in love with. Doctor Who was free of that girly lovey dovey nonsense. Men who didn’t want any expectation that they should actually have to “deal with” the emotions of women found a completely safe space in Doctor Who. Especially for the incels.
Now suddenly, the Doctor is handing out a TARDIS key almost immediately to Rose Tyler just because she’s scared of abandonment. He’s hesitating on saving the world because he doesn’t want to save the world if she’s not part of the deal. He’s letting a Dalek loose for her and that same freaking Dalek can even tell Rose is the woman he loves. He’s allowing a timeline to happen that kills him so Rose doesn’t have to watch her dad die twice. He’s so fixated on her he’s smiling and at peace with the thought of being possessed just because he got to meet her. Now, the character who was this suave detached safe space for emotionally unavailable men, is suddenly completely invested in the emotional life of this “emotional, jealous, whiny, and bitchy woman.”
Then it seemingly got even WORSE after the first modern Doctor Who regeneration. Now the Doctor wasn’t even shy about his entire universe revolving around this obnoxiously high maintenance woman who isn’t even styled for the male gaze properly. Every single episode was full of this awful mushy gushy nonsense. He wasn’t even acting like a man anymore! He was behaving just as love struck as only women are supposed to behave. He’s decided that this completely unworthy low class woman is the one thing he believes in, in all of time and space. Never mind that he exists outside of gender. He appears as a man and he’s supposed to act like one.
Previously, the Doctor was a good male stereotype, being someone who showed more affection to his TARDIS than anyone else the same way men wanted to be allowed to show more affection to their cars and motorcycles than their wives. Now, even when he thinks he’s lost his TARDIS forever, he’s STILL busy making googly eyes at this pathetic girl.
The female fanbase on the other hand, was actually increasing. The relationship between the Doctor and Rose was a huge draw for women. But of course, those women who wanted to be different from other girls, were, whether consciously or subconsciously, conforming with the patriarchal male read of the show. Especially for those who had built up their entire identities and sense of worth on being different from other women.
Seeing a woman who is in fact what many consider your “basic” feminine girly girl, be loved and adored by someone like the Doctor, threatens that entire foundation. And seeing other women enjoy this character meant disliking her was a way to be different in and of itself. It’s the same pattern for many non binary and non gender non conforming people because at some level, the patriarchal perspective is still seen as the ideal and no matter your gender, there is a desire to conform with it in order to be accepted. It doesn’t make people who fall into the trap a bad person. Because ultimately, it’s a survival method, and often an unconscious one at that—but it still needs to be discussed.
How to Solve the “Problem” of Rose Tyler
Rose Tyler was always seen as this massive problem for a large chunk of the fanbase. Both then and now. Even after she was gone the Doctor STILL kept pining for her. How was that problem going to be solved though? Go back to the old school detachment and Rose stands out even more. Can’t get rid of her that way.
Instead, they latched onto the love interests that at least conformed to the male gaze, were styled as femme fatales, exuded more sexuality, and who spent their time exhibiting no emotional needs at all or having emotional needs that the Doctor would ignore. The answer to the problem was seemingly both River Song and Clara Oswald. River Song gave patriarchal conformists the fantasy of the Doctor having a wife who was almost never around and for whom he could invest little to no emotional labor at all. As Steven Moffat himself put it:
“There’s this issue you’re not allowed to discuss: that women are needy. Men can go for longer, more happily, without women. That’s the truth. We don’t, as little boys, play at being married – we try to avoid it for as long as possible. Meanwhile women are out there hunting for husbands.”
This is the writer himself proudly admitting his bias that he happily included in his writing. And for many, River alone provides the answer to the Rose Tyler problem. She’s the “wife” in title but you never have to watch the Doctor gush over her besides the male appropriate sexual innuendos. You never even have to watch him go into that marriage eagerly. But because of the title of “wife” many assume her to be automatically be more important than Rose despite her receiving SIGNIFICANTLY less affection and devotion than Rose.
Then there’s Clara Oswald. A woman who provided not only the male manic pixie dream girl fetish, but also the male fantasy of a woman who hero worships the man so much that she wants to become him but will ultimately always fail. Because the man is still superior. I can clearly recall my own father eager to objectify and fawn over Clara while not caring about Rose at all. Sure, the Doctor is once again far more affected by this woman than would be preferable considering the lengths he went to in order to get her back after she died. But at least it provides the copium needed to allow people to feel Rose Tyler wasn’t the most important person to the Doctor. And AT LEAST he never had to show her a lot of emotional effort while she was alive. Much easier to watch a man pine for a dead woman than watch him actually be emotionally available to a living one. Most of all, at least these great lengths happened for a woman who was actually worthy of them (due to her meeting the required male fantasy criteria that Rose did not).
And so for everyone who hated or was even a little uncomfortable with Rose Tyler and therefore insistant on diminishing her worth to the Doctor, it was important to cling to the fact he went through enormous lengths to get Clara back after her death. Because, this is seen by many as proof that Rose Tyler was finally no longer the most important person to the Doctor.
They cling to this at all costs. Nevermind the fact that the Doctor was far happier with Rose, the numerous ways he was more invested in her when she was actually around, and that he would’ve gone to at least the same, if not greater lengths had she actually died (Audio: Cold Vengeance). Nevermind he couldn’t destroy the laws of time to get her back after she was separated from him because unlike Clara, she was alive, and tampering could have been the thing that actually killed her. And absolutely nevermind that the Doctor explicitly said he loved Rose but only said that he had a duty of care for Clara. Better to ignore the fact that feeling an obligation or duty of care for someone because they got killed trying to imitate you isn’t the same as loving them (not saying the Doctor can’t be fairly interpreted as loving Clara in some way. Just that duty of care ≠ love).
For the anti Rose fanbase, they finally had something to help them sleep at night and allow them to feel that the scourge of Rose Tyler was finally irrelevant. Still, back then, they were met with a decent amount of backlash. And back then I wouldn’t have had to anticipate as big of a flurry of hate comments and reblogs for writing an essay like this.
Fast forward to 2025 and now it’s cool to hate on anything RTD. He came back to the show a completely different writer and the quality has gone down. And so now, the anti Rose crowd has new momentum. It’s cooler than ever to hate her. And even if you don’t hate her, the idea that she can’t possibly be THAT special to the Doctor has leached into the fandom so much that people honestly believe Clara was more special due to one single circumstance that never happened with Rose. Or they belive they were equals in the Doctor’s hearts. Even people who LIKE Rose are downplaying her in ways that would’ve never happened ten years ago, in order to keep the peace.
The fandom is actively Ignoring all of the ways in which Rose was more beloved than anyone else while she was actually with the Doctor, and bypassing the clear fact that the Doctor naturally has to act differently when being separated from someone who is alive vs someone who is dead. The one great act of devotion to Clara? Only happened in her death. The dozens of acts of devotion for Rose? Most were given to her while she was alive and present in the Doctor’s life. But it’s “cooler” to dismiss all of that because on top of the aforementioned classism and misogyny, RTD is the on trend writer to hate right now.
Part 2: A man is always expected to love a machine more than a woman
During a recent tournament here on Tumblr that used polls to determine who the Doctor’s favorite person is, fans claimed that Hell Bent/Heaven Sent supposedly proves outright that Clara meant more to the Doctor than Rose. However, the same people who believe that still sunk her in favor of the TARDIS in the next round of the tournament. If that one singular event is complete proof against Rose, why isn’t it for the TARDIS? The Doctor never ended up needing to do anything so drastic for the TARDIS either.
The answer is that the belief the Doctor must love his TARDIS above all else is one of the most sacred patriarchal fantasies. Sure, she’s actually sentient unlike a man’s car or motorcycle. But the idea that the Doctor loves his TARDIS above all else served as a sort of permission for men. That it’s okay to love a machine more than a person. And just like a car or motorcycle, the TARDIS doesn’t “nag” or act “needy” or “clingy”.
Here’s a Facebook reply to a post stating the fact that men love cars more than women. Despite the TARDIS’ sentience, most of these apply to her too:
“Why shouldn't we? 1. Cars have warning lights when something is wrong. Girls become monosyllabic and walk faster. 2. You can dress up your car the way you want. 3. A car is more straightforward to lubricate. 4. Cars will never tell you to dress up if you're going out with a group in the evening. 5. When the car's speaker is loud, you can lower the volume. Or mute it! 6. Cars don't ask you if they look fat. 7. Cars don't ask why you haven't introduced them to your mother. 8. Cars don't need to go to the restroom together and compare notes. 9. It's less expensive to upgrade a car's bumpers. 10. Cars are more likely to get along with your male buddies. 11. You can love two cars at the same time and nobody will think you're a jerk. 12. Cars don't ask you where 'this' is going. They go where you point the steering wheel. 13. Cars don't feel insecure about the car you had before them. 14. Cars don't give you hell for looking at other cars.”
So you see, when most people are asked who the Doctor’s true soulmate is, they will say TARDIS. Others might say the Master because once again, the Master is not a clingy, whiny, needy, bitchy woman like Rose Tyler. And the Doctor, as a practically immortal higher level being, should be far above stupid things like a romance with a woman like that.
Still don’t believe this is all misogyny? On the mostly mixed gender platform of Tumblr, the majority reject the idea that Rose is the Doctor’s true soulmate. But on the female dominated Chinese platform Rednote, the majority believe she is. Sure, there are probably other cultural differences besides gender. But, it can also be seen that on platforms where the male fantasy has less influence, the importance of Rose Tyler is not nearly as overlooked or rejected.
As I start to close off this essay, I will leave you with some facts that SHOULD be common sense:
1. The Doctor has in fact shown more overall love and affection to Rose Tyler than anyone else in the show.
2. It is okay for someone to have a love of their lives no matter how long they live. It is better for the Doctor to be capable of lifelong love than to let their lifespan hollow them out so much they have to “move on” from even the person they’ve loved the deepest.
3. No individual who is cut off in the middle of a love confession would ever let themselves miss another opportunity to say the words properly IF they ever felt the same way or greater about another person ever again.
4. Love is not something that’s constrained by time, race, lifespans, or distance
5. Someone who repeatedly hurts and abuses another person is not their soulmate.
6. The Doctor has never put their TARDIS before anyone close to them.
7. If you believe in soulmates, then the obvious answer is that the Doctor’s IS Rose Tyler. She is the Doctor’s closest thing to religion—the thing the Doctor believes in most out of everything in time and space, the Doctor has never been as happy with anyone else as he was with her, and the Moment even took Rose’s form. She was also deliberately written to be the Doctor’s soulmate by RTD at a time when he was invested in the show and could pull off his intentions. Not to mention both Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant also brilliantly acted the role with that same goal.
8. Tolerance of abusive behavior is not love
9. No, you’re not above misogyny or internalized misogyny just because your politics are liberal or leftist.
10. Multiple interpretations of a piece of media are valid, but the interpretations I am calling out are heavily based on the glorification of abuse, classism, and misogyny. Interpretations skewed by those things can and should be an exception.
11. True love is not some lower level concept that an advanced alien is supposed to be “better than”.
If you’ve made it to the end and have no animosity towards Rose, I ask that you help keep her alive within the fandom. Talk about her. Don’t back down on how deeply the Doctor loves her. Don’t let her significance to the Doctor and to the show be erased or diminished because she was never built to comply with male fantasies. The haters are gonna hate, but she can’t disappear unless those who love her or appreciate her significance concede and back off.
I am not trying to stoke division, I am just being honest about the polarization that exists and has existed since the beginning of the revival. Rose fans have repeatedly tried to meet the wider fandom halfway, only to find that compromise is never reciprocated. Standing firm is not hostility. Rose’s place in the Doctor’s hearts is non negotiable. Rose doesn’t need to be and truly, she shouldn’t be, EVERYONE’s favorite companion. But she IS the Doctor’s. I hope we never stoop to mocking and insults, But we also don’t need to keep shrinking ourselves for the comfort of the parts of the fandom that are so desperate to erase her.
Despite the fact that Rose Tyler was never built for the male gaze, the Doctor showered her with more affection, attention, and emotional availability than they have for anyone else in their lives. And that’s exactly why she matters and why we MUST keep insisting on her significance. Because a woman’s worthiness of love should never depend on how well she can conform to a patriarchal male fetish.
