#saiaphaeliorn

[normal-thoughts-official]

Okay I have this hc abt Simon that at a certain point after he starts dating Raphael, he gets it into his head that he needs—not Magnus’ approval, exactly—but to make a good impression. Raphael’s other partners, Maia and Meliorn, already have a pretty good relationship with Magnus. And maybe Simon’s apologized for some of the shit from early in the series, but he’s on nowhere near as good terms as them! Magnus isn’t the type to give a shovel talk, but he IS protective (with good reason), so he already mostly approves of Simon (anyone who can make his son happy is good in his book, and Simon DID apologize). But Simon, after some deep reflection, manages to decide that the best course of action is a 50-slide long PowerPoint titled “I just want you to know that I promise I’ll treat Raphael really well”. Magnus is mostly just amused, but touched as well. Raphael is also touched, but mostly dying of embarrassment. Maia and Meliorn think it’s adorable but also are laughing their asses off. The rest of the Polycule start wondering if they need to make PowerPoints for each other’s respective (chosen and otherwise) families.

i love everything about this ask. simon going to Magnus' for some sort of family dinner and he's like *ahem*. id like to thank magnus for this lovely event, and if allowed.... id like to say a few words *the lights dim, a powerpoint presentation begins, he has a laser pointer*

he got alec's help to set everything up in the living room so all he had to do was turn on the tv and his presentation would be there. alec only agreed because he thought itd be hilarious. he was right

the presentation is very sweet and fun tho and simon definitely fumbles a bit even tho he's Rehearsed and it features some really cute stuff like pictures of them together that simon uses to make commentary to Prove that raphael makes him happy and he'll do everything to give it back. and raphael kinda wants the earth to swallow him whole but he also kinda wants to cry. mostly to cry. wouldnt say no to being swallowed whole tho

and magnus is just like "simon i know you, i trust you with my boy" and simon is like "no, magnus, i'm making a statement here, by the time this is over i'll be your favorite of rapha's partners" and maia and mel are like "hey!!" but simon just keeps going

it lowkey starts an unofficial competition to be Magnus' Favorite even tho magnus has no favorites and he loves all of rapha's partners as long as they make rapha happy - and they do, thank you very much. but still every time they do anything for rapha theyre like "make sure to mention this to magnus :)" and rapha is all "you're insufferable. i swear you only spoil me because of him" which earns indignant splutters and a lot of cheek kisses until he takes it back

in short theyre soft and i love this

[shadowhunterspolycule]

Idk if this has been prompted/you've talked about it before but u know how maia says she misses chocolate? I'm thinking of all of her partners trying to come up with a substitute and it's a fucking mess and somehow it works out at the end but 💕 cooking shenanigans💕

i have talked about this before briefly here (link) and here (link) but i dont think i went into enough detail so L E T S G O

so like. here's a fact. raphael and maia are the only ones who can actually cook. i dont know if seelies eat but they probably don't have to since they are part demon and part angel, and neither of those have to eat. so, meliorn probably can make themself useful because they understand a lot of the natural properties of plants and besides they have magic, but other than that, they don't really know how to cook

izzy is a certified disaster which rapha already knows firsthand, clary has never touched a pan in her entire life and that's just a fact, and simon can probably like, fry an egg, but usually he only really helps his mom/bubbe cook during holidays like rosh hashanah or purim. he's way out of his depth

so because this is a surprise for maia they are down to half their amount of functional cooks and up to infinite times their amount of disasters because usually if anyone joins them when they're cooking it's simon and he mostly just chops stuff and helps. meliorn sometimes watches like an anthropologist trying to understand their funky lil food. but usually it's just rapha and maia, really

and really it was rapha's idea and he recruited meliorn because their knowledge of plants and their natural properties could be useful and somehow the whole squad is involved now. "i can't lie," meliorn says with the worst innocent expression known to man, and it's all rapha can do to throw his hands up and accept that this is his life now

anyway, they are all super excited about it (even rapha in their own way) so it's cute. rapha mostly asks for them to work as taste testers but of course they all have a billion uneducated ideas that they throw into the mix anyway. some of them are health hazards. the others are insane. eventually they get so desperate they try the insane ones anyway

also rapha just looks cute with his dumb lil apron and his several study books - a cooking book, a book about the chemical composition of chocolate, a study of werewolves' digestive system, a study on the effects of chocolate in werewolves, and an encyclopedia of non-conventional edible plants

(meliorn is offended by that last one. he doesn't need an encyclopedia when he has meliorn, an expert. simon is offended by all of them. just use the internet)

so he knows what the bad chemical that makes maia puke is, the trick is to try to get rid of it while not ruining the taste of chocolate. that's when izzy actually proves herself to be useful because wait a minute, she knows biochemistry. why did no one tell her that from the start?

so with rapha's cooking expertise, meliorn's plants expertise, izzy's biochem expertise, simon's creativity, and clary's cheering abilities, they are actually able to create a pretty dope recipe. it even melts on the tongue and everything and they can actually use it to make other stuff like cakes or other pastries or whatever

maia eats nothing else for a week. raphael spends his whole days baking chocolate stuff for her. he has no complaints, she is so happy and her smile is beautiful. and eventually they release the recipe and werewolf-friendly bakeries start popping up around the downworld and the others can now buy her chocolate, too. all is right with the world

[maiaphaelsource]

Ah I’m just- this blog is so amazing. I love this ship bc they’re both so powerful/intimidating but also definitely softies, esp with each other/ppl they care about. And I LOVE the concept of them cooking together, teaching each other recipes, sharing food. Mb they give the rest of the Polycule cooking lessons (the true proof that they work as a couple was their ability to keep Izzy out of the kitchen).

thank you so much! YOU are amazing for sending this ask! I love everyone who interacts here

aaaah the idea of polycule cooking lessons is so gooD tho. Meliorn probably has never tried mundane food and we dont know if seelies even eat, or what and how. There's no way Simon used to cook before, or Clary for that matter. Izzy likes it but she's not particularly great. But if anyone can teach her, it's definitely them, because they have infinite patience and are actually good at teaching

("the problem is the way you're thinking," Maia says kindly. "You need to stop being such a shadowhunter," Raphael adds. "I was trying to be subtle about this." "Why?" "Good point")

It would be kinda awkward for Raphael to help Izzy better because you know..... Memories. So Maia handles it. She loves her gf anyway and it's cute how hard Izzy tries, how much she wants to do it right

Clary is kinda not too interested, so she's mostly stealing ingredients from Izzy and generally being a nuisance, but Izzy doesn't even mind because they're soft about everything. She just smiles at her antics

Teaching Simon and Meliorn is a damn blast. Simon has basically no previous experience but he's eager to learn, especially Mexican food, so he can make it for Raphael later (which was supposed to be a surprise but he ran his mouth immediately. Maia literally facepalmed but Simon earned a kiss in the cheek from the both of them for his efforts). He fumbles a bit at first and he has a bit of trouble remembering all the steps/not getting distracted and letting it burn, cuz you know, adhd. But Raphael knows a few techniques Magnus uses so this doesn't happen when he's brewing his potions, and he's all like "don't worry too much about how it's going to turn out. Just enjoy the process" and after that Simon takes to it pretty smoothly

Meliorn is extremely curious about the whole thing. They relate to the way both Maia and Raphael talk about the ingredients, treating them with respect and love. Just carefully, you know? That's important to them because all life is very important in seelie culture, but seelies also understand that life is not held in the being, but rather is a constant energy that pertains everything and can be traded, and changed. So, the idea that these dead plants can be used to sustain life- it's kind of fascinating, really

They're kind of horrified by the way Izzy chops the vegetables ("Isabelle, you're stabbing them, not cutting") but they also manage to give her helpful tips ("instead of acting like you're trying to murder it, you could perhaps approach this as if you were creating life out of it?"). They also take to cooking very easily. They are good and precise and can chop the vegetables quicker than everyone else combined (well. Simon and Raphael have vampire speed, but that's probably not going to end up well) and always nail the Exact Moment they should put things on the pan, etc. But they might be too precise and seasoning isn't really an exact science, so they struggle with that

Either way they all have fun and it's very messy (as it usually is with the polycule) but in a great way. Later Maia and Raphael kind of flop down on the couch, feeling that good kind of exhausted. Raphael is like "I'm glad we're still the best cooks out of us, though". Maia laughs and it's the best damn thing ever)

[shadowhunterspolycule]

polycule wanting to plan something special for raphael. everyone gets roped into it. magnus is added to a group chat even more chaotic than the immortal squad group chat, and loves it. he loves seeing how much his boy is loved by this group of people and knowing raph is so cared for, after all he's been through and all he does for others -maiaisbia

u know me, always happy to have ppl appreciate rapha

my first thought tho is kinda angsty which is the idea that maybe they want to do something for him on the anniversary of rosa's death. they all know it hits him hard and that he always keeps track of it, because, well. he likes to torture himself

anyway the polycule knows that he will spend the whole day sulking to repent for his sins or whatever SO they decide to make him a little something. they know it's a day for mourning and they want to respect that but they want to help him do that a little more healthily at least, so over the year they gather as much information on her as they can (not difficult. just bring up something vaguely related to old women or little girls and rapha is At It with the stories of his lil sis, eyes far away and fond smile in place) and prepare a memorial for her, y'know? and they make all of her favorite foods that she and rapha used to share or that rapha would make for her, and play her favorite songs and gather pictures which they get magnus to spell so they won't fade

and rapha is shocked in several ways because he didn't expect any of this, and when they said they had something for him he thought they'd try to get him to do something unrelated which he just- can't because he can't forget her. but instead they made something to celebrate her, not in the sad despairing way that rapha usually does, but in a happy way, and where he gets to be with all his friends and partners and just be comforted and talk about her All Day. and it feels really good, for the first time since he started keeping track of the anniversary

and magnus of course is just beyond elated that there are so many people looking out for his son, wanting to make sure his mourning is respected but that his day also isn't miserable. and he's more than happy to help and be there for him on the day, too 🥺

[shadowhunterspolycule]

thinking about maia, raphael, and meliorn all teasing simon like "aww, you had a crush on us? that's embarrassing" and simon is like WE ARE ALL DATING! and them being like "aw you have a crush on [partner] and [partner]? that"s embarrassing" and simon SPLUTTERING. "YOU DO TOO!!!!!!!! YOU'RE DATING THEM" and theyre just like. aw so embarrassing simon

[normal-thoughts-official]

Crack au where there's a yearbook for all the leaders in the shadow world with funny nominations. This is stupid sorry.

listen to me. you listen to me. i LOVE stupid asks. altho i dont think any asks are stupid i love everything yall send me but like! silly/crack asks are more than encouraged. i literally live for this shit

ok this is cracky so dont take it too seriously ok thnx

also i really want to hear ur thoughts on the nominations, but here's what i have so far:

Raphael wins "most beautiful smile" because 1- its true; 2- half the downworld council is dating him and the other half includes his dad, and they all love and cherish his smile, especially as it's so rare. raphael and alec both voted for magnus, so hes a close second

"Council supermodel" or whatever they jokingly call the Most Beautiful Leader prize is an ultimate tie because magnus and alec voted for each other, raphael voted for maia, maia voted for meliorn, and meliorn voted for raphael. later they jokingly ask simon to make the final vote and he gets nervous because HOW is he supposed to choose between his 3 perfect partners so he just blurts out "alec" in nervousness. ever since it's polycule canon that alec won council supermodel and they joke about it when they want to make simon Really Flustered

(raphael is also like wtf meliorn u should have voted for maia i dont even want to be Council Supermodel anyway. meliorn is like 1- thats exactly why; 2- i figured this was going to happen so making it a super tie was really funny. raphael has to stop a smile because hes a simp for meliorn's mischief even when hes on the receiving end, goddamn it)

(maia is the winner in his heart tho, but he goes by "alec won" to tease simon cuz priorities)

Fashionista or whatever is a tie between magnus and meliorn because facts only, and also alec and meliorn voted for magnus, maia and magnus voted for meliorn, and raphael voted for alec as a joke because bitch really is allergic to anything thats not a black t-shirt

can u tell that i have no idea how yearbooks work? i dont understand gringo traditions

Raphael Is Very Tired Prize For Disgusting Allo Shit, aka "most likely to make out during a council session" goes to magnus and alec because of course it does

HAD TO LOOK UP YEARBOOK MOST LIKELY QUOTES AND FOUND OUT THERE IS A "TALLEST/SHORTEST" PRIZE RAPHAEL IS SO FUCKING PISSED WHEN HE GETS THE SHORTEST PRIZE DJDNDJDNDIDNDIDNDIDNDI EVERYONE IS FORCED TO HEAR THE "IN MÉXICO I WAS THE TALLEST" SPEECH FOR TWO AND A HALF HOURS. then raphael hands alec his "tallest" prize like "here have the Unnecessarily Big Giant For Inhuman Looking Motherfuckers prize"

best dancer goes to magnus. no-brainer

"most loved by parents" goes to raphael for OBVIOUS reasons and magnus gives him a kiss on the forehead and everyone makes fun of him and hes like "how is this my life" (he doesnt mind one bit)

found out that theres a "fearless" prize that some site also called "pack leader award" (??) so of course traditionally the pack leader takes this one, so maia takes it

magnus wins "everyone's father" because of course it does. also "most likely to start a charity" and "most likely to invent the next groundbreaking technology/spell" for the 100th year in a row

yo yearbook prizes are actually rlly boring tf

"coffeepot's best friend" goes to alec because hes the only one who can stand institute coffee anyway

i give up on looking it up back to making up prizes. "most likely to roll their eyes so hard they see their own brain" goes to alec

"most likely to make a stranger on the street fall in love" goes to maia "5 partners and counting" roberts. also "best hair"

"most likely to show up to the meeting in a clown wig" goes to raphael because hes a dramatic bitch like that. magnus votes against him once and he shows up next week in a full clown outfit saying he cant believe he was betrayed like that

"stubborn ass award for that one mf who just wont quit" is a tie between alec, magnus, and raphael

greatest prankster goes to meliorn

Voice Of Reason Award goes to maia. Greatest Giver Of Amazing Advice That Is Thoroughly Ignored goes to meliorn (raphael votes for himself on this one and is booed by all)

Owner Of Gender prize goes to magnus because hes so gender ugh. meliorn is just like "i still dont understand what that is" and almost wins anyway

Juggling Queen goes to maia for being pack leader, restaurant owner, university student, and girlfriend of 5 all at the same time. also "most likely to succeed (even more)" because obviously they have all succeeded but maia is something else

Most Iconic Exchange goes to "because you're so unbiased" and magnus is salty about it for years to come

ok thats all i have give me other ideas because this seems like a rlly fun thing to explore rifndi

[normal-thoughts-official]

damn you and your polycule feels 🥺 i don't even ship them 😩 rapha has that kind of old fashioned courtship thing going on <- do elaborate if u want to (you want to, don't you? 🥺)

stormy i am so sorry to break these news to you but

[image ID: a screenshot of the "biggest fans" section of the @shadowhunterspolycule blog. the biggest fan, other than myself, is none other than the sender of this ask. end ID]

i think u kinda do ship the polycule

anyway! about your ask. i mean it's just true? first of all because it's a generational thing - he was born in the 30s roughly, chivalry and whatnot was still kind of a big thing. he was raised to be a gentleman and he probably learnt to express affection in the old fashioned courtship way, and besides, being autistic, he probably launched into those very easy, very set in stone rules of expressing affection to make it easier for him. and THEN he was raised by magnus, so. yeah it's a thing

so like rapha is the guy who brings chocolate and flowers, takes ppl to fancy restaurants and whatnot. granted his actual love language is also one of like, familiarity and taking ppl to small family owned restaurants, cooking for them, etc., but he also can put on a suit and take his partners somewhere fancy. besides, as someone who doesn't like kissing in the lips, he is a fan of hand kissing to express affection because it's like the least sexualized kiss ever, and it's just nice. and to him that's all it is but damn if his partners aren't swooning. especially simon. simon is Swooning. maia is all soft smiles and a cheek kiss in return, which makes him smile too, and meliorn treats it as somewhat natural because they don't have time to keep up with mundane customs and if it was a thing in the 18th century it probably still is now, one less thing to worry about. but they like it

so he just comes across as old fashioned and in a way he is and he doesn't really mind. chocolate tastes good, his partners deserve something fancy, hand kisses are the best kind, and flowers can brighten up anyone's day. his favorite is and will always be the casual intimacy of home dates, cooking together, cuddling under the blankets and talking and enjoying each other's company, bit some courting is fun and helps him feel like he's Doing The Relationship Thing Right but LOOK it's also fun and he enjoys it okay and suits him, so

[shadowhunterspolycule]

raphael and maia taking cooking classes together <3 raphael and maia making new foods together to share with simon and meliorn <3 cozy nights in with good food and a (funny) bad movie to throw popcorn at after <3 they all falling asleep together on raphael's big couch ! -maiaisbia

aaaaa amazing!!!! tbh i can't imagine rapha taking cooking classes fr or at the VERY least he'd complain the whole time. he's like "taki's is a family restaurant this pretentiousness is going to ruin the essence of the food" and maia is like "you are the most dramatic man i've ever met" and rapha's like "i'm still right"

she tries to convince him with her reasoning - they never ran a whole restaurant before and it might be good to know a bit of the tricks from the pros even if taki's is and will always be a family restaurant. but what really convinces rapha is the "come on, for me?" and that little pout she makes as she looks up at him

(for a vampire, rapha is very, very weak)

anyway they go and rapha is lowkey in despair like "they are treating this like a science. they are sucking all the joy out of the food. this is terrible" and maia has to keep elbowing him to shut up, which really just means rapha keeps complaining, but with a teasing smile on this time

anyway cooking classes turn out to suck ass because the teacher is some pompous french guy who wouldnt know good food if it hit him in the face, considered spices to "taint" the food and constantly belittled non-white cuisine saying that our techniques are "wrong" and that our cuisine is "unpolished" (this is a direct nod to YOU, erick jacquin. fuck your ethnocentric white supremacist ass)

rapha and maia are both seething after like 10 minutes of this bullcrap and they only stay with the explicit purpose of Making Him Mad. they go extra hard on the chile and force him to eat a dish so spicy rapha would have cried. rapha uses superspeed to get rid of his chair right as he was going to sit on it at least once. maia seriously considers setting him on fire. they both still pass the class because they KNOW what theyre doing, thank you very much

anyway the next time they decide to take cooking classes they go to a little class with a wonderful black cuban teacher who Gets It and actually gives them a few tips on restaurant-running specifically since the most difficult parts are the ones unrelated to cooking susnsid. and they end up actually having a lot of fun together and learning a lot of things they didn't know. the environment is one where people are encouraged to share their knowledge and culture and there are people from all kinds of ethnic backgrounds and yeah, they have fun. they even end up making a few good friends, even if the relationships are limited due to the fact that theyre mundane

rapha begrudgingly admits that okay, maybe cooking classes aren't so bad if the people in it actually care about food. and maia agrees that okay, no more pretentiousness

(really, she was just nervous about Taki's, because this is all new to her and she wanted to be As Prepared As Possible. and the french guy was considered the best, so, why not go to the best? rapha hugs her and kisses her forehead for her troubles and says "i'm sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted, cariño" and maia feels a little better)

(besides, she knows they're gonna rock this as long as they're doing it together. if they survived that cooking class, they can do anything)

and they come back with so many ideas and immediately go to the kitchen and spend all afternoon there trying out stuff like crazy scientists, which then inevitably everyone (luke, alaric, magnus, simon, mel) is invited to try and give their opinions on. most of what they've done is incredible and they're all delighted. magnus lowkey entertains the idea of using a spell to get rid of the fullness so they can eat more and there are STILL leftovers. they take them to an elderly home because of course they do

and then yes lying together in the couch and cuddling and laughing about their wonderful day together, the success of their dishes, and the stupid french guy's face when he fell off the chair 🥺