#salty post

[aspiringbabushka]

alright guys! time for the month of the precious blood! we're all gonna celebrate this as much as the sacred heart last month!

[someguycalledasher]

Top 5 reasons why I lose matches in TCGP

#5 - I made a really dumb mistake that ended up costing me the match.

#4 - Coin flip RNG was not on my side :(

#3 - My opponent was just too good!

#2 - My opponent had a "delete button" deck (Pikachu EX / Articuno EX + Misty / Mewtwo EX + Gardevoir)

#1 - The fucking game gave me a fucking dogshit starting hand and also decided to fucking bottom deck all my fucking useful cards when I fucking needed them the most lmao

[typhlosion426]

So I watched parts of the live-action HTTYD film. Why? Because despite my sheer animosity against these live-action remakes (aside from The Jungle Book 2016, which I legitimately enjoy), part of me was curious to see how they'd pull off certain scenes from the original animated film (which is now 15 years old, just saying that feels like a gut-punch).

So I looked online (because I'm not giving Dreamworks and Universal my money for this) to see if the remake leaked, it did, I dived in-and-out of it, and now I want to get my thoughts out. I'm going to be all over the place with said thoughts, so please bear with me.

__

I'll go over some positives, cause I admit there are some things I liked: the set designs and costumes are great. I give them credit for trying there (did I see a shield with a Poke Ball design, though? Was that done on purpose??)

John Powell's remixed score. Like Hans Zimmer's score for The Lion King remake (ick...), while some music queues and beats sound off, its mostly great to listen to, and I love how sarcastic some of the titles sound (Example: "This is Real Berk" Really? 😂). If I had to pick a favorite track, it'd probably be Meeting the Queen.

Some of the dragon designs. While the Zippleback's eyes are too small, and the Gronckle is literally a flying baby made bigger, I do like the designs for the Monstrous Nightmare and the Deadly Nadder (although I do miss how close the eyes were on the original Nightmare design). As for Toothless, he's grown on me, design-wise at least. I kind of like how more toad-like he is, reminds me of the Bulbasaur from the Detective Pikachu movie but I definitely see where people are coming from when they call him ugly and expressionless. Not to mention a chunk of his personality, and the life in his eyes, are completely absent. As for the Red Death, ehhh....I see what they were going for, but it doesn't work for me. It's literally just a big Triceratops with wings and a barbed club tail, and while that sounds awesome on its own, I really prefer the original design and how disproportionate and menacing it was.

Even though I don't like the Red Death's design, or how they tried to add Bewilderbeast aspects to it, I do like how it was first revealed in the Dragon's Nest, and how more prominent the volcanic terrain was during the final battle against it.

I liked Fishlegs, Snoutlout, and Stoick for the most part. As for Hiccup, while I really like the actor (he was fantastic in The Black Phone), his take on Hiccup was a mixed bag. Sometimes he'll embody the character perfectly, while other times he's trying too hard, and with how he's written, he comes off as a jerk at points (oooh, I'll get to that in a bit...).

Seeing Berk co-exist with the dragons at the end is always nice to see, and I love the little outdoor class teaching the Viking kids about dragons (properly). That was a nice touch.

The infamous Forbidden Friendship scene was mostly done well. Mostly, because it still had that rushed feeling of 'going through the motions' that plagues nearly all of these remakes.

The same can't be said with the Test Drive scene. Seriously, what the hell was that? Nothing about it was as emotional or tense as the original scene (also, you took out the Terrible Terror scene? Why?? That scene was important in so many more ways than one!!)

They tried so hard to match the speed and energy of the original film, but it just doesn't work. You can't beat animation like that.

The acting, like Hiccup, was a mixed bag, ranging from good to over-the-top in a bad way.

"Who's a good boy??" "Toothless. Stay." Oh no...between this and the lacking personality, they're treating Toothless like a dog, he even pants like one at some point! You all know what this most likely means, and I hate everything about it (they're setting up for The Hidden World....).

And now for my biggest beef with the remake (outside of the fact it exists, and the dragons being reduced to cute puppies with no personality): the writing. Nearly everyone comes off as mean-spirited jerk in this movie. Yeah there was a touch of mean-spiritedness in the first film (and especially in the original books-not saying that to bash said books), but this really wasn't fun to watch.

The characters that suffer from the 'everyone is a jerk' syndrome the most are Gobber and Astrid. Good gods, Gobber, what have they done to you, man?? Gobber's deadpan deliveries and sarcasm from the original were hilarious and on-point, and it was clear that he cared for Hiccup despite his insults. You get none of that with live-action Gobber. All of his line deliveries were off, his insults weren't funny, and nothing he did or said gave me the feeling that he cared about Hiccup. He was an asshole, through and through, even during moments when he tried to be caring. Regular Gobber would point at him and go "Who is this buffoon?"

Then there is Astrid, oh boy (note, this is not against the actress, so lets put that controversy aside). What's wrong with how she's written? She's been given the same treatment as most (but not all) female leads nowadays, aka the "I'm an unlikable bully, but despite this I am perfect and better than you in every way, and everyone knows it and points out how awesome I am every time I appear. I don't need to change at all, only for everyone to keep telling me I'm perfect and special enough as is, and I need to steal the spotlight from those who really need it, even during an important, possible death scene." Come ooooooon! Astrid was already badass enough in the original films without being unlikable, why did you have to do this to her?? Also, she comes off as extra cruel to Hiccup this time, thus bringing his crush on her into question, and making her sudden affection for him after the Romantic Flight scene more out-of-place.

I completely forgot about the twins when writing this (which says a lot). Yeah, their characters were butchered, most of their banter and humor were gone, they might as well not exist in this movie.

On that note, the humor in general was toned down or non-existent. What, because this is live-action it can't be funny anymore?

Finally, what was with the end credits? It felt like the end to a Power Point presentation, or a 'visit Ireland and Iceland!' ad. I get not having the Sticks & Stones song by Jonsi (probably due to copyright reasons, that or Dreamworks/Universal was cheap), but it doesn't change the fact it was sorely missed, and the end credits felt off as a whole. __ That's all I currently have to say about the live-action movie and comparing it to the original film. Is it the worst live-action remake I've seen? Probably not, that title goes to the Lion King remake (I like the remixed score, but the movie itself is so bland and soulless I couldn't finish it), but that's not saying much. If I can compare the live-action HTTYD to anything, it'd be a school play. An exaggerated, expensive play that makes some questionable decisions (like removing important scenes and turning all the characters into jerks), and tones down the themes and humor to the point where the original animated film feels more mature and 'real'. I give it credit for at least trying in some areas, but it doesn't change the fact it can't stand on its own without the original, thus there's absolutely no point in its existence. I am NOT looking forward to what they do with the remakes of the sequels...(they're gonna butcher Valka, Cloudjumper, Drago and the Bewilderbeasts, just wait. And since they're going to try and tie everything to The Hidden World better, that makes it all even worse....)

[starsovermyhead]

Every time Salmondean have a Talk about Dean's feelings, it goes like this:

S: why r u sad talk to me talk to me talk to me ur sad don't lie talk to me talk D: (opens up and reveals that he has a giant bleeding wound in place of his heart yet again). S: :0 S: :( S: :| S >:( S: wow, that sucks. Uh, have you tried to get over it?

[yingandzhan]

With all due respect, I really wish people would STOP miss tagging my posts.

If I'm referring to the Untamed, I'll tag it as such. Please stop insinuating my novel posts are referring to the CQL, it only causes arguments. If there's a crossover in what I'm saying, fine! But state that's the case 🙏🏻

Also, I resent anyone tagging anything as "anti Jiang Cheng" when that's completely wrong. Using "Anti JC" infers I am exaggerating or even fabricating things in regards to his character. I am not, I'm referencing canon.

[simplysamiblog]

Fanfiction gatekeepers are at it again

I'm so fucking glad I'm old enough to not give a single damn about "comments" like this.

And yet, this still pisses me off for so many reasons.

First of all, if this had been the very first published work of a new writer instead of mine, I can only imagine how disheartening it would have felt. Writing—pulling something out of thin air and putting it out there for the world to see—takes courage. It takes the willingness to be judged. But this? This is NOT criticism. There's nothing constructive about this pathetic excuse of a comment. To be this immature, this full of prejudice, and this fucking BORED—to the point of trying to make someone stop doing what they love? Pathetic. If you EVER come across comments like this—ones that offer nothing but negativity, no actual critique, just destruction—DO NOT let them get to you. They’re literally dust.

Second of all: I thought bookmarks were meant to save fics you liked for later? So you’re telling me… you found my story, read the description, skimmed (if even that) the tags, "read" my story (more like scrolled through it, obviously), only to go "uh, this sucks, let me save it for later so I can keep… reading it?" Make it make sense.

Last thing: These are fanfiction. F.A.N. F.I.C.T.I.O.N. You want something that sticks religiously to canon? You might find something. But buddy—there are TAGS. There are DISCLAIMERS. There are FILTERS. Use your head. Don’t hurt yourself with content your delicate sensibilities can’t handle.

40-year-old soldiers who have seen hell and death every day? Oh no, not in our fics! We’d never dare write something where they experience camaraderie, lighthearted moments, or—heaven forbid—a single fucking joke. (By the way, did you even read my fic? Because there are multiple chapters where they nearly die, and one of their comrades actually does, soooo…????) But no, we’re “too mature” for this “princessy” stuff. Too serious for non-canon stories where two men dare to have a single fun interaction.

Because we, the Responsible Adults™️ reading fanfiction, obviously only want pure, bloodthirsty, 100% accurate, no-nonsense adaptations, right? Right? No? Yeah, me neither.

But you? Oh, not you. You’re built different. You’re so committed to truth and literary integrity that, as a responsible adult, I’m not even censoring your name.

Also, just because of this, I am now writing a fanfiction where all the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare characters reunite for a pajama party. They will eat cookies, paint each other’s nails, and gossip about their crushes. Enjoy.

And for the context, this is how my story shows on AO3:

AO3

[ormymarius]

DC fans are like: I love complex family dynamics and family drama!! *ignores the aquafam*

[blockgamepirate]

Okay, since this is somehow STILL a source of discourse even well over a year later, let's talk about the massacre at the Red Festival on Dream SMP

In detail

Now first off, Techno obviously did not know that the rocket launcher was that powerful.

I mean okay, he knew a direct hit would be powerful but he had no idea that the area of effect was that strong, which makes a huge difference because you can do significant damage to multiple people in one go and you don't even have to actually hit them. He didn't know it would be that effective!

That’s WHY he’s so surprised when it also kills Schlatt and Quackity even though he was only aiming at Tubbo. That's WHY he's so surprised that he gets five kills by just randomly launching the fireworks at the crowd, without even aiming at anyone in particular.

I don’t know why this is so hard for people to understand. Sometimes characters don't have all the information when they make decisions!

✂️ "dude, the crossbow was so strong jschlatt died two times! how did that even happen??"

20 seconds · Clipped by Blockgamepirate · Original video "The Festival (Dream SMP)" by Technoblade

^ that's Techno reacting out of character. If even the CC didn't know how powerful the crossbow was, how was the character supposed to know?

Secondly, let's actually look at the people he killed (non-canonically) and who specifically it was effective against:

The first three are Quackity, Schlatt and Tubbo at the podium, obviously.

Then we have Ponk, Schlatt (yes he got killed twice; he was running back towards the podium from the boxing ring where his spawn was set and got hit again), Callahan, Niki and BBH.

So first three people, then five people, one of whom was a repeat kill. Also one of them was an ally who got caught in the crossfire.

Here's the crowd, note Purpled (in full netherite) on the side, also Fundy (mostly in netherite) and Punz (also full netherite)

None of those guys died. I wonder why.

Ponk and Schlatt (neither of whom had any armour on) die in two hits.

Callahan (who also had no armour) dies in three hits.

Finally Niki (two pieces of diamond armour) and BBH (leather armour) die in four hits.

Total number rockets Techno fired into the crowd was five, but the last one didn't kill anyone.

Yes, the rocket launcher is impressive and OP and can hit multiple people at once, but the death messages make it look a bit more impressive than it actually is. It only killed people who didn't have proper armour on. (And not even all of them died, Sam and Ant both survived all five rockets in leather armour.)

Techno himself makes this point in his next stream too:

✂️ techno reviews the intel from the festival

46 seconds · Clipped by Blockgamepirate · Original video "the aftermath (Dream SMP)" by Technoblade

You can also see this in the November 16th battle where he launches twelve fireworks in succession at Dream & co. and kills none of them. He does soon after manage to kill Karl (who's in netherite but wearing no helmet) after hitting him four times with the Orphan Obliterator, setting him on fire, and even then it takes three direct hits from the rocket launcher to kill the guy. That's what a difference proper armour makes.

And that's Karl.

Without a helmet.

At the festival Techno would have been against Punz and Purpled in full netherite.

Anyway here's Niki's POV of the fireworks:

First shot doesn't hit her directly, does 1.5 hearts. BBH blocks with a shield.

Second shot is a direct hit, does 4.5 hearts, as she tries to run but she's running right in the direction where the rockets are being fired. (BBH makes the same mistake.)

Third shot hits close, does 2.5 hearts. She's still running in the line of fire. (Antfrost runs to the side, which takes him out of the line of fire.)

Fourth shot takes the remaining 1.5 hearts.

Note that she has 5.5 armour bars worth of armour, which is barely better than full gold armour. (And when I say better I mean it's the same armour points but diamond has the toughness attribute so basically she's wearing the equivalent of full gold armour plus four points of toughness (which I think reduces damage from critical hits? I have no idea if that applies to firework rockets.))

She was also not regening at all between hits because she hadn't been eating.

She did also have prot IV on her chestplate to be fair, that must have helped, although of course normal protection is less effective against explosions than blast protection would be.

But yeah you can see why this weapon would not work equally well against a full set of enchanted netherite. Or even full enchanted diamond.

... or literally just someone with a shield lol

Ant got hit once right in the face for 6.5 hearts and then took zero damage after that because he put up his shield which negates 100% of the blast damage. As you might be able to see, Bad tried to do the same but then decided to drop his shield and run away instead which meant he got hit in the back. (Bad respawns at the boxing ring and immediately puts on full diamond armour.)

So yeah, with six rockets Techno managed to kill five people with no armour (one of which he killed twice) and two people with bad armour who didn't take cover. That’s cool. That's definitely more than you could do even with the best possible bow with the same number of projectiles, even assuming you hit every shot.

But it's not as effective against people with actual defences. Even literally just a shield.

Imagine he had done this from the start, while trying to rescue Tubbo: would he be able to fight off both Punz and Purpled, both in full enchanted netherite, both good at PVP? Plus Fundy who was almost in full netherite too? Alone? While protecting an unarmoured Tubbo?

And he would have had to take out Schlatt and Quackity too, to get Tubbo out, which is not that hard on its own but it becomes tricky when you're surrounded and could be shot at while you attack them.

I really don't think it would have been as easy as some people in the fandom assume.

That said I do kinda wanna talk about how he maybe could have still done it and what the risk levels of those maneuvers would have been and also how they would have worked in the narrative, but this post is getting too long so maybe another time.