The past haunts us all{Maekar Targaryen x Trans!male reader}
MASTERLIST
Disclaimer: still haven't watched akotsk, and this is set before the show, there is also a few timeskips {Just a few weeks each time}
summary: You are married to Maeker, a year after his wife Dyanna dies. You two come to an agreement and expect no love from this marriage, but even the slowest of burns come to blaze {ITS A CORNY SENTENCE I KNOW, SHUSH}
Cw:slight age gap reader is 20 and Maeker 31. mention of death in childbirth(Dyanna), Violence with mentions of blood, misgendering
Words:2270
MY WORK IS NOT AND WILL NEVER BE AI, I DO NOT CONSENT TO AI USING MY WORK TO TRAIN ITSELF
Ages of maekerlings: Daeron 12, Aerion 11, Aemon 4, Daella 3, Aegon 2, Rhae 1
202 Ac
As the ‘daughter’ of a high ranking noble house, you knew your duty, marry into another high ranking house and become a broodmare for your husband, this fact had been drilled into you for as long as you can remember. You always expected that you would just marry into high ranking house, but what you didn’t expect was to marry a widowed prince of house Targaryen, Princess consort Dyanna Dayne had died only a year ago giving birth to Princess Rhae.
Everybody knew how much Prince Maekar Targaryen loved his wife, the two married young and had six children in total, and everybody knew how much her death devastated the prince, so when King Daeron announced that his youngest son would be marrying again, it shocked the realm, and immediately started the scheming of Lord’s and how to get their daughters to be a princess.
You hadn’t been too interested in the prospect of marrying a prince, but your father was very interested and through a stroke of luck had you betrothed and married to Maekar with a few months.
Your wedding had been grand but small in comparison to other royal weddings, you didn’t mind and Maekar didn’t seem to either from what you saw of your new husband. The day after the wedding you were off to Summerhall, Maekar rode on his horse while you sat in a carriage with his two eldest, Daeron and Aerion, the four youngest of his children having remained in Summerhall.
Aerion glares at you with the same violet eyes Maekar has and Daeron is fast asleep from having been up the whole night.
“You won’t replace her” Aerion hisses and you nod, understanding that the young boy is still mourning his mother.
“I don’t expect to, a mother can never truly be replaced” You reply softly as you shift in the uncomfortable dress, you hated being stifled in this horrid thing, it makes you far too aware of your body and position in society.
It takes two weeks to reach Summerhall from Kings landing, and when you arrive it is a beautiful day, the sun is shining and makes the castle look magnificent, you are led inside by one of the knights under Maekar’s command, Maekar having already headed inside followed by his sons.
You are greeted by your ladies in waiting, the same ladies who served Dyanna Dayne, they all curtsy but you can feel their resentment towards you, after introductions you are quickly taken away to learn your way around the castle by the housekeeper, who is a middle aged woman. After the exhausting first day in your new home, you’re led to the room where you will be having dinner, it already sits ready for you, Maekar is already sitting there at the table and looks up at you then looks back at his food, you quickly go to your seat and start to eat, the servants file out and leave you two alone, the only noise is a crackle from the fireplace.
“We have not yet talked” Maekar states simply, you look up in surprise as the last you heard his voice was at the sept exchanging your vows.
“No, we haven’t” You reply simply as you eat some of the steak on your plate.
“We should come to an agreement about what we both expect from this marriage” Maekar says as he leans back in his chair, you nod and straighten your back.
“I will go first, i don’t expect love from you, i know that you loved your wife and i will not replace her, but what i do expect is honesty and respect, aswell some freedom,” You explain as you sip your wine, Maekar looks surprised then nods and his eyes begin to study you.
“Freedom as in your desire to bed others outside our marriage?”
“God’s no, when i say freedom, i mean the desire to dress and act as i wish while not at court, because i am what people call peculiar, since how i feel inside is not how i look outside”
Maekar raises an eyebrow at that and sips his wine, deciding not to question what your words mean.
“Very well, it is good we are in agreement then because all i want is honesty and respect to” Maekar says, you smile and raise your chalice, he raises his own, you clink your chalices together and both take a big sip.
Weeks pass in this comfortable arrangement, you stop wearing dresses, much to the disagreement of your ladies in waiting, you wear more manly looking clothes and even cut your hair short, citing the warm climate as the reason for the cut, some of the servants and especially your ladies in waiting criticise the decision, both behind your back and to you, but Maekar never comments 0n it whenever you two see each other in the castle or while eating dinner. You begin to bond with the young princes and princesses of Summerhall, Aerion and Daeron are still wary of you, but the youngest four adore you, Aemon always makes you read him stories, while Daella makes you play in the gardens with her, but Aegon and Rhae bond to you the most, the young boy and babe often cry for you, Aegon always waddling behind you in the halls, while Rhae always wants to be in your arms, they are the ones who can’t remember their mother the most, so you theorise this is why they cling to you.
Maekar takes notice of the fact that four out of six of his children seek out your presence, it makes his heart melt but also ache, because it should be Dyanna in that place, not you.
“They are growing close to you” Maekar comments one night while you two eat dinner, you nod and swallow the food you had been eating.
“They have, and while i am glad that your children seem to like my presence, or atleast tolerate it in Aerion and Daeron’s case, i can’t help but feel guilty” You reply, Maekar looks surprised then nods, going quiet again, just like your first night here at Summerhall, his eyes study you.
“May i ask why you dress like a man and have your hair like a mans?” Maekar asks hesitantly as he looks at you.
“We agreed to be honest with each other, and respect each other, so what i say next cannot leave this room or change your respect for me” You say with seriousness in your voice, Maekar nods as he tilts an eyebrow.
“I told you the first night that ‘how i feel inside is not how i look outside’ well that is fact because inside i feel as a man, not a woman like i have been told that i am.” You explain and watch his reaction, first you see shock then confusion, and eventually acceptance.
“I see, i have heard of such people across the sea all the way in the free cities, but this does change my respect for you as it has doubled, because you have been able to hide yourself so well but not given up your true self” Maekar replies softly, your eyes widen at his words and blush slightly, your eyes also slightly teary as you mouth a quiet thank you.
Maekar stands from his seat and comes close when you tears fall, he sits in the empty chair near you and takes your hand, holding it in his, the simple act of comfort makes you smile.
That night makes you and Maekar grow closer, through the next few weeks he begins to spend more time around you, even as the ghost in his mind of Dyanna haunts him whenever he sees you with Rhae or Aegon. But something unexpected happens through those weeks, a fragile love forms, between every meal, every moment spent, every playtime with his children, every night where he watches you read to his gaggle of children even Aerion and Daeron being there to hear you read, and the fragile love especially blooms anytime you go to comfort him when he seems lost in the thought of Dyanna.
It all comes to a head one night when Maekar is awoken by one of his knights to inform him of an incident, he immediately is out of bed and follows the knight to hall, where he can the Maester tend to a wound on your hand, your lower arm looking stained with blood as guards hold one of your ladies in waiting, a dagger with blood on it laying on the floor, Daeron and Aerion are glaring at the woman while standing near you.
“What happened here?” Maekar demands in a stern voice.
“She attacked Y/N!” Aerion replies as he scowls, Daeron nods in agreement with his younger brother as they turn to look at Maekar. Maeker eyes turn to you as the Maester tends to you, trying to gauge how badly you were hurt
“I am fine” You say when you meet Maekar’s gaze. Aerion and Daeron turn to look at you in disbelief.
“FINE!?!?! YOUR ARM IS BLEEDING!” Aerion and Daeron shriek.
Maekar ignores the two boys and you for the moment as he walks towards the woman his guards hold.
“Explain, quickly” Maekar growls out as he grips the woman's chin, her eyes are crazed as she stares up at him.
“She was replacing Dyanna! I couldn’t let her get away with it!” The woman yells as she scowls, Maekar tenses and looks to you, but it’s Daeron who catches his fathers attention with one comment
“You are Wrong! I loved my Mother and will remember her better than my siblings, and even though my little siblings have started to think Y/N is their mother, they always make sure that they know their mother was Dyanna!” Daeron snaps as he clings to your unaffected arm, you look at Daeron and smile. Maekar stands frozen then turns to the woman again.
“The punishment for hurting the spouse of a Prince, is death” Maekar hisses quietly, then he signals his guards to take the woman away, of course the woman wails and kicks as she is taken away.
All of Maekar’s attention now turns to you and his sons.
“What are you two doing up” Maekar asks firstly.
“Daeron dreamed of a knife and Mother, and i was hungry, so we came to find Y/N together, and saw the attack so we may have tackled that stupid lady” Aerion says.
“Aerion bit the lady” Daeron adds and Aerion nods giving a grin, showing his bloodstained teeth. Maekar just stares at the two boys for a minute with a look of shock before turning his full attention to you.
“It will scar, but should heal with a short amount of time” The Maester informs you after finishing stitching your palm back together, you nod and thank the Maester quietly as he leaves, taking the two little princes with him.
“Are you feeling alright?” Maekar asks shakily as he kneels infront of you, taking your injured hand in his carefully, You nod as you see the slight fear in his eyes.
“The little dragons came just in time”
“I should’ve been with you, i could’ve kept you safe, why are you even out of your chambers?”
“I was on a little night stroll when i came in here, and Maekar you cannot blame yourself, do not take this incident to heart” You whisper as your uninjured hand cups his cheek, the white haired man leaning into the touch as tears begin to fall.
“I could’ve lost you like i lost her” Maekar whispers, his voice shaky, you sigh and start to caress his face.
“You didn’t lose me though, i am right here”
“But i could’ve and i would’ve lost you before i got to love you or even tell you that i love you!” Maekar snaps as he begins to sob, his face falling in your lap. His words stun you then you smile softly as you nudge his head up, when you meet gazes, he sees it in your eyes, Love.
“Well for starters, i love you too, and i promise that i shall never let myself be in a position to leave you, ever again” You whisper, Maekar is speechless then gets up a bit, and before you know it he is kissing you, after a moment of shock you return the kiss, your hands going to his face while his own hands go to your waist, holding you like you will turn to dust in his hands. The kiss is desperate but turns soft when he calms down from his fear of losing you, you both pulls for air and he smiles, looking at you like a man desperate to live again.
Maekar stands up then bends down slightly to pick you up in a bridal carry, you yelp and laugh. Maeker carries you all the way up to his chambers, depositing you on the bed before he closes the door. You lay on the bed and just smile, happy beyond your wildest dreams, as you know this marriage isn’t duty, and Maeker loves the man you are.
“Time for me to finally cherish every moment with my husband” Maekar whispers as he lays down beside you and kisses you again.
While a part of Maekar’s heart will always belong to Dyanna and her memory, another part belongs to you and will belong to you forevermore, As Dyanna was the woman of his life, and you are the man of his life.
