Healthy Coping, PT. 1 – Sensory Hypersensitivity
So, I decided to make a series that focuses on different issues that give me a hard time, and I'll give you a detailed account on the techniques, tools and distractions I use to get through the tough times.
I'm planning to go through the following subjects:
Anxiety in various situations
Communication + Social troubles
These are the ones I could think of now, but there might be more coming, if there is something I forgot.
Part 1: Sensory Hypersensitivity
I have a lot of sensitivities, and while some of them are relatively easy to ignore, others make my life quite difficult/unpleasant. Since I grew up undiagnosed, and thus having to "pass for normal", I built myself a plethora of useful little tricks to survive when the world gets too much. Here they are, I hope you can find some that might help you!
Tactile toys: I have a ridiculously large array of toys I can interact with by touching them. I use clay, slimes, squishes and just different objects I like the texture of. I collect these small items and I keep them at strategic places so I can always have one at hand. How I use them: whenever I feel overwhelmed or just need to self-soothe, I find the texture my hands are craving at the moment and I squeeze/rub/hold them, I close my eyes and focus all my attention on the object I'm holding and the feeling it gives my fingers. This is working great for me because the feeling distracts me from the source of my distress, and the rhythmical movement helps me discharge the tension built up by the distressing situation. My favourite one: I have a little narwhal that has a slow-rising quishy inside covered in a super soft plush surface material. It's the perfect sensory toy for me because it's small, so I can have it with me when I'm out and about, it's pleasant to the touch, and I can give this guy a hard squeeze when I'm anxious, and bask in the joy of it slowly rising back to its original shape.
Noise cancelling headphones/true wireless earbuds: a friend of mine gave me a pair of great active noise cancelling headphones and it turned out to be a life-saver. Sometimes I don't even listen to music, I just have them on to block out the outside world. The only downside of those is that they are huge and bulky, so sneaking around with them is not an option. That's why I got myself a pair of true wireless earbuds. While these don't have ANC, their shape and snug fit makes for a great noise cancelling effect, and they are tiny, so I can have them discreetly on when I'm in a situation I have to get rid of the sounds around me (just the noise level of a store can easily overwhelm me), but it would be considered rude to be wearing headphones, or I can't have them with me for some other reason. They are also practical from a size point of view, since I can have them and their little charging pod in my pockets at all times. How I use them: I usually wear the headphones at home and the earbuds when I'm out and about. I also use a single earbud for sleeping, if I can't listen to my sleep sounds out loud. They are great for music, nature sounds or podcasts, and I can listen on them at a high volume as well, because they don't leak sound, so I'm not disturbing others with them. My favourite one: it's hard to tell, but I tend to use the earbuds more often, because wearing headphones gives me a headache after a while (because it's squeezing on my head), so the earbuds are more practical in that sense, although they can't live up to the sound quality of the headphones, so those are definitely better for music.
Fairy lights: Christmas lights are not just for Christmas! One of my favourite methods of creating soft ambient lighting is hanging garlands of fairy lights on my ceiling. One by one these little bulbs aren't intense enough to bother my eyes, but together they actually provide enough light that you can do basically anything by them. How I use them: I actually hooked them up to a switch socket (dunno if it's universal, but in Scandinavia most electrical outlets come with a safety switch, so you can turn off the power when you're not using them), and I just use them instead of a ceiling lamp. I like the warm white coloured ones the most, but it's entirely up to you and your preferences. My favourite one: I have a chain of fake light bulbs with little LED fairy lights inside them, they look absolutely adorable!
Scented items: smelling things is one of my favourite ways to decompress. Not only do smells bring back the strongest/most vivid memories, they are also the perfect reinforcement of pleasant/calming fantasies. I have scented candles, little pillows filled with lavender, different essential oils and perfumes I use in different situations. How I use them: I like to create positive triggers with smells. For example, if I know I'm going to be relaxing in my room, I spray a bit of my favourite scented humidifier in the air, so the room has a distinct smell while I'm doing the comfy/relaxing thing there, and every time I can no longer smell it, I add another puff. I do this consistently every time I am doing the relax routine, so after a while, a link is formed between the smell and the relaxed mood. Once the link is in place, I can use it as a positive trigger to put myself in a relaxed state just by smelling the same smell. My favourite one: lavenders for relaxing and my citrus body spray for a refreshed, happy mood.
"Easy foods": sometimes the reason I cannot eat is because the intensity/complexity of most foods' taste is overwhelming. For these occasions I've tested out some easy foods that I can still eat even when nothing else goes down. They are usually quite bland, but that's kind of the point... How I use them: If I realise I can't eat other food because of its intensity, I mentally go through the list of the simple tastes, trying to imagine myself eating them and hopefully I find one that would work. If I don't, I just drink some water, and then periodically repeat the exercise until I'm hungry enough so I can make myself eat something simple. My favourite one: rice fried with eggs and veggies. Rice and eggs, it doesn't get much simpler than that. It's warm, it's filling, and if you throw some veggies in there, it's also quite healthy. A little salt and pepper, and it's the perfect simple food.
Bonus round – clothing and shoes: if you are anything like me, you might know the total pain of being distracted the whole day because your shoes are a bit too tight or the fabric of your only clean shirt is rubbing painfully on your skin. I grew up thinking that the world was just a mildly, but constantly unpleasant place, and I was already a grown-up when I learnt that shoes and clothes don't have to hurt. Today, I shop with my fingertips, and I only wear stuff I'm actually comfortable in. I've learnt that I'm not obligated to "look good" for society's sake, and built my wardrobe around comfort and practicality. Important things to consider when you're buying new clothes/shoes: Make sure your skin agrees with the fabric, and don't buy stuff that looks good but drives you crazy with its texture. When buying shoes, remember, they have to be comfy in the store. The whole "you have to break them in" thing is bullshit, if they hurt in the store, they'll always hurt, and you don't want to put up with (potentially permanent) foot/leg/back pain for a pair of good-looking shoes.
I hope some of these tips will work for you and make your life easier. Feel free to add your own sensory relief techniques below!
