#sicklecelldisease

[corazonruptado]

I thought of experiences that have spared my reality and gave me the knowledge to cope. Becoming the person that I had envisioned in my thoughts of hope are forgotten in moments of reality. I cannot feel for I had no choice. Often falling short of my expectations of who I am meant to be as your mother. There was no handbook or guide as to reactions to have in those moments that life hit you the hardest. Expectations were always there and now somehow I am questioning those daily. Daily I try to show this in how I live hoping to share that love and understanding somehow to give back. Empowerment comes to my mind as I empower parents to be voices of wisdom. I have grown and over the past months I have become quiet . Maybe I view life differently and little did I acknowledge until now what a journey I have endured in personal growth. In my world I always feel as if I am not doing enough and through these painful months I now believe that I was more valuable than what I acknowledged. I was strong when no one was watching, excelling my skills to provide a life that I knew I could achieve not perfect but a step above of what a broken person could achieve. I never saw failure as an option because my essence came from a woman that knew and never depended on anyone. Not because it was her choice but it was the only choice that was given to her. A survivor one that had a quality of strength and determination when life had not given her those options. I am a mirror of her . I realized that my growth was from me realizing that she did the best she could because she was broken herself. In this knowledge I forgive myself for the hard expectations I had on my self as a mother and every role I occupy in my life. I fought hard for stability for you. The outlook of positivity helped and although not perfection I know that I have taught you to be kind to others but wise enough to love yourself. I still stand in amazement as I don’t know still to this day how my brokenness could have raised you. One day I want this to be your guide for if we were free of mistakes in this world we would self absorbed and bitter. Life is waiting for you at your own time and rate. You will achieve what is meant for your journey just like I have achieved in mind. Achievement doesn’t always come in money or profession most times it comes from growth and beauty a soul portrays onto this world!

By Susana Rendon

[thebananashapedbloodcell]

This is what Sickle Cell looks like...🙏🏾

Happy 27th Birthday to me 🎂💕. Thanking God for another 365. I’m healthy & doing my very best to take care of myself; mentally, emotionally & physically.

[gaspe302]

Most Common SickleCell Facts!

[sparrowconnections]

Hey everyone! I have a blog on Facebook @lyfeofasickler I'm trying to bring awareness to this deadly illness. Can you please support my dreams. This really means a lot to me and would be grateful for the support. 🙇🏾‍♀️🙇🏾‍♀️🙇🏾‍♀️🙏🏾🙏🏾

[lovessrgraham]

Dear self,

When sickle cell tries to break you, be strong. Don't allow it to disturb your peace. Don't allow it to plant fear or doubt in your mind. Take care of it. Give it rest. Give it nourishment. Keep it hydrated. Hug it. Give it love. Tuck it in at night and sing to it so it can have a good night's sleep. Care for it as if it is your beloved child. Let it stay for as long as it needs to. Nurse it back to health and serve it discharge papers when it's better. It is only yours when it's there, so give it a place to heal. When it's feeling better and stronger, let it go. Separate yourself from it. It does not belong to you. It is only one of the things life throws at you from time to time. Sometimes it stays for longer periods of time, but that's okay. Learn how to make space for it in your life, but don't allow it to take over your life. You exist outside of sickle cell. It's only a part of you. Figure out how to work with it when it's present and be a force in the world when it's not. And if it's always around, negotiate with it. Allow it to teach you to win with it and without it.

Love,

s.r.graham

s.r.graham

[corazonruptado]

Appointments

Cutting it short daily trying to keep up with all the needs. Daily tired and exhausted of just living! Every day focused on one’s well being with little thought on yourself. Making it all work daily knowing better days will come. Anxiety with every visit knowing feeling as if I am not doing enough or overthinking how others feel about you. 16 years of constant smiles to those that at times do not deserve the courtesy you are simply at their will. Just barely surviving. Working extra daily just to keep up with copays insurance cost and extras catching little breaks in between. Constant worry of health and your job! Totally drained and ill feeling like this is ingrained in my daily plans. Drive north drive west etc....... I spend more time at providers than with my own family. Tired yes worth it yes! I feel as if my calendar cries for self time taking on its on world full of appointments some now and many in the future and with each one comes hope of change miracles to be exact little miracles. Challenges daily and in every breath watching you grow up best part of it all beautiful young lady that you are becoming with strong personality to match the beauty! Love you my dear and hopefully one day you will value the sacrifices made!

Susana Rendon

[corazonruptado]

At times others are so ignorant to what battles a person may be faced with and their actions may be what sends a person to the edge of no return. A good person will always be one to extend and be generous to others. You may claim a religion and be the meanest person in the world . Be careful with your words they are at times what can kill a soul and sometimes take a life. People who overthink every detail in their day are those who will always rethink why while the other one will not think twice. Be kind knowing that one day you will yourself need an extended hand! To my weak soul may you heal from all the meaness of the world that tortures your inner soul! Susana

[corazonruptado]

Moments in time! Hope and love! That is what I captured in that moment! After being in and out of the hospital for the past year waiting for a surgery I was exhausted. Missing my little one in this picture I captured the little moments that I wanted to hold on to. In these hallways we had grown up. At times when my little one left I would walk them to the car and as they drove off I would look back and walk away with tears in my eyes. I was a mother being pulled in so many directions. The emotional part had taken its toll. This picture brought feelings of the love that was felt that day after being separated off and on for the last two years prior and being so tired and homesick I captured it to look at night as I layed in the makeshift bed to look at the image of my girls as I cried myself to sleep trying to silently cry so my daughter would not see my weakness. Susana the mother that got lost in these years.