anonymous said: Pls pls pls can you do the a-z nsfw for Simon D?! 😍
(a/n): Yasss, a Simon one. Hope you enjoy!
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Homeboy would have limited moves left. Sometimes he brings you water or cleans you up. But never two things at the same time. Would immediately fall asleep while cuddling.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His tongue for sure. I mean he’s a talented rapper, so y’all know what that mouth do.
He likes his partners eyes. Loves to make eye contact.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
Is pretty clean about it. In you or in your mouth probably.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Role playing!! Especially loves the “Nanny and Single Dad” situation. And doms everytime during the role play.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Really experienced. Might had 7-10 sex partners.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
Modified doggy, because he can go all rough but still sensual with his partner. But also lotus, because of the eye contact.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Not goofy at all. The goofiness is saved for aftercare.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
He trims it well. But adjusts to whatever his partner likes.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
He’s passionate and tries his best to make it perfect for the both of you. But sometimes there’s no time for it.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
Doesn’t jack off often. Maybe once/twice a week. When he’s absolutely stressed, he can last longer without it.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Besides role playing, he enjoys spanking (giving), dirty talking and has a daddy kink.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Besides his comfortable bed, he likes studio sex. Loves to sit on his chair for it.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
He goes crazy when his partner dirty talks to him. Call him “daddy” and he’s done.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
No threesomes! He doesn’t like to share. So never ask him or he’ll get pissy.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Loves giving as much as he loves receiving. He can go down on his partner anytime, but there’s something about his partner kneeling down in front of him, with widened eyes.
P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
He’s mostly rough, but not that fast. And there are some sensual moments.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
You gotta do what you gotta do. But quickies are just an appetizer for him. The whole meal will be taken care of later.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
He loves to experiment with his partner. He would probably have a day marked in the calendar for your “experiment day”. A monthly occasion.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
He can go for 1 - 2 rounds, so pretty average.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Probably has a vibrator that he uses on his partner. And some cuffs. And a riding crop.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Likes to tease in public. Knowing that his dirty talk is only available for you. But during the do, not really.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
DEEP GRUNTS. Like have you heard his voice?
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
He convinced you to put a vibrator on you, that you had to wear in public. So, once you were out, you thought you could make it. But all of sudden he turned the vibration on. You had to act like everything was fine, but you almost came in public.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
pretty thick and average in length - ca. 6 inches.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Not that high. Maybe once/twice a week.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Quick! He used all of his energy and now all he wants to do, is fall asleep.
As requested a story about a special man and his marriage jitters.
*I am taking requests, if you have an idea send it through my asks*
Word count: 3053
Theme: Marriage
Rating: fluff
Pairing: Simon Dominic (Kiseok) x Reader (F)
Master List
“I don’t even know why we have to go through this”
Throwing the wedding magazine on the coffee table you flopped back on the couch with an exhausted sigh escaping your mouth as you ran your hands down your face. You were currently in your apartment going over wedding details with your best friend Hoody.
“Y/n don’t be like that, this is fun!”
“This isn’t fun, this is frustrating and pointless. I still don’t understand why we can’t just run off and have a small ceremony just the two of us. We don’t need all this extravagant stuff.”
“You might not want it, but who is to say Kiseok doesn’t?”
“I think after 5 years with him I have a pretty good understanding of what he wants.”
“Y/n just suck it up, you have all of us here to help you.”
Picking the magazine back up from the pile of wedding things that were laid out on the coffee table you went back to what you were doing. You were currently gathering ideas for dresses and wedding concept ideas. You were an only child and while part of you wanted nothing to do with a big wedding you knew you wouldn’t rob your parents of this once in a life time experience. You had talked to Kiseok about your concerns with the wedding and after you spewed out your feelings he held you in his arms and rubbed your back telling you if you wanted to skip out he would too but he reminded you that at some point you would regret it. It might not be right away but when you two are older and have kids you won’t have the pictures to look back on or the memories from that special day. You knew he was right, you probably would end up regretting it.
After a few more hours the two of you finally called it a night. You felt that you accomplished everything you could for the night, you had reservations booked for three different dress shops plus taste testing for cakes and dinner. You had a few ceremony sites in mind and a few for the after party but you wanted to run them by Kiseok before you booked a tour. Just as you were getting ready to jump in the shower you heard the door to the apartment open, popping your head out from the bathroom door you looked down the hall to see a very tired looking Kiseok slowly make his way towards the bedroom. Instead of calling out to him you let him be and went back to your shower.
Walking into the bedroom you found Kiseok laid out on the bed with his arm covering his face. You approached the bed quietly and sat down next to him, running your hands through his hair you tried to help him relax from whatever was plaguing his mind.
“Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, just work stuff.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“It’s ok, just the usual stuff. No need to worry about it.”
“Are you sure? You know I am always here for you.”
“I know love and I appreciate it. How was your day?”
“Eh, it was a normal day off. Me and Hoody spent the majority of the night going over wedding stuff. I have some appointments set but I need to run some venues by you before I book a tour.”
“Ok, why don’t we go over that tomorrow. I am going to go jump in the shower before bed.”
Kiseok got up off the bed and bent down laying a light kiss on your head before turning and walking to the bathroom. Getting up from the bed you went to your vanity and began with your nightly routine before going to the bed and pulling the covers back. Climbing into the bed you leaned back against the headboard before picking up your iPad. While you waited for Kiseok to come back to bed you decided to go through some emails and your schedule. You only had a few days off here and there to help with the wedding planning but with work you knew things were going to get difficult with a case you were going to take on.
Marriage was never something you thought of while you were going to law school, if you were honest dating wasn’t even in your future. You had only ever had one thing you wanted and that was to become a lawyer. You wanted to follow in your father’s footsteps, he started off as a lawyer and slowly made his way up to being a judge. A chance encounter with Hoody at a local bar changed the whole course of your future. Hoody and you got on as if you two had been friends your whole life, eventually she introduced you to the AOMG crew and the rest was history.
The sound of the bathroom door opening brought you back to the present. You glanced up at the door as he walked in with a towel still on his head as he rubbed it around trying to dry off his hair. You watched him walk over to the bed, he had no shirt on and beads of water trickled down his chest and disappeared into the sweat pants that were laying low on his hips. Even after 5 years the man still stole your breath. Looking up to his face you couldn’t help but blush when you found him watching you, obviously caught checking him out.
“Your so cute, you still blush even to this day.”
“Well you can’t blame a girl, with that body any girl would blush looking at it. I just happen to be the lucky one who will always get to look at it up close and personal.”
Throwing the towel into the hamper he pulled the covers back and climbed into bed before pulling you to his chest. Setting the tablet down to the side you brought your hand up to his chest and began tracing invisible designs as you took in his sent. Kiseok was playing with your hair as he hummed a tune probably from his new album. You loved moments like these, just the two of you enjoying the peace and quiet. Neither of you felt the need to fill the silence with useless words, instead you two just took comfort from the embrace. You felt yourself slowly slipping into a peaceful sleep and you sent a silent thank you to the heavens for bringing Kiseok into your life.
Just as you expected the new case you were taking on kept you busy over the next few weeks. You spent most of your time in the office and used your lunch breaks to deal with wedding issues. For the most part everything was decided, the venue for the ceremony and after party along with what was going to be served. The invinations were set to be sent out and you were still undecided on a dress. The stress of the case was causing you to become a little short tempered with everyone around you including Kiseok. Thankfully he was busy as well with his new album so you two didn’t see much of each other. You were only ever home to sleep and change your clothes, you were asleep before he got home and were gone before he even woke up. The text messages between the two of you were short and the phone calls were brief. With it being the last day of trial you were happy to be done with the case and able to take a few days off from work to get your head on straight.
The sun was just setting by the time you left your office, the trial was over and you were exhausted. Instead of going home you decided to stop by the studio wanting to surprise Kiseok and see if he wanted to have dinner with you. You knew he would be in the studio for a few more hours but nothing sounded better than going out to eat with him. Walking into the studio you waved and smiled at the people. You knew where he would be and as you walked up to the door you noticed it was open slightly and you could hear Kiseok and Jay talking. You knew you shouldn’t ease drop, but something told you not to go into the room just yet.
“Kiseok, I think you are really just over thinking things.”
“I don’t think so Jay, I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is wrong. I mean she deserves someone who will always be there for her. She deserves to have someone who will be at home when she gets home, to have someone who will have dinner ready for her when she is working those late nights. Someone who can hold her and help her relax after cases like this.”
“But you do that already, I just don’t see the issue. You two are amazing together! You are there for her just as much as she is there for you. Maybe you need to take a break, you have been living here at the studio. Go home, today is supposed to be her last day anyways. I bet you she is on her way home right now. Go and talk to her, don’t hide these things from her.”
Surprised at what you heard you stepped back from the door and made your way to the exit. You had no idea he was feeling this way. Was he really regretting asking you to marry him? Rushing home you didn’t bother with grabbing food, your appetite was long gone. Thoughts of what he might say were running through your head as you showered and got ready for bed. Was he going to call the wedding off? Was he going to leave you? Since when did he start feeling this way? Did you do something wrong? Did he not love you anymore? That last thought broke you, grabbing onto his pillow as you laid in bed you let the sobs break free. Clutching onto his pillow you couldn’t stop the hard cries from escaping you, you didn’t want to lose him. He was everything to you, he was your sun and moon.
Your face was buried deep into his pillow and your cries were so loud that you didn’t even hear him enter the apartment or hear him walk into the bedroom. The dip in the bed and his hand on your head was what alerted you to his presence. Pulling back from the pillow you slowly lifted your head to see his concerned face looking down at you. You didn’t say a thing and launched yourself at him wrapping your hands around his back grabbing onto his shirt as you pushed your face into his chest and cried harder than before. The way you were clawing at his back and pulling him closer you just felt as if he was getting farther away from you no matter how hard you were trying to get closer. One of his hands came to your hair as the other went to your back rubbing it in circular motions trying to calm you down.
“Y/n what’s wrong?”
“Don’t leave me, please!”
“What are you talking about?”
You shook your head not wanting to have this talk.
“Y/n please love what is wrong? Tell me!”
Again you shake your head and you feel him pull away causing your heart to speed up and you grab onto the back of his shirt with all the strength you can muster not wanting to let him go. It was pointless as the man was much stronger then you. When he finally had you at arm’s length he brought his hands to your face cupping it and wiping away the tears that were falling from your eyes.
“Y/n tell me what is wrong, why are you crying? Did something happen at work?”
Open your eyes you looked up into his chocolate orbs and your heart felt like it was slowly breaking into a million pieces. You closed your eyes and took a couple of deep breaths opening them again and looked into his eyes.
“I got done with work and wanted to surprise you, I thought we could grab a bite to eat before I went home. I missed you and felt bad for being so absorbed in my case. But when I got to the studio you were talking with Jay and I overheard some things. Do you regret us? Do you not want to get married anymore?”
A look of shock crossed over his face before he pulled you back into his embrace and held on to you tightly.
“Oh Y/n I wish you hadn’t heard that. I have just been stressing out lately with this new album and I don’t know I guess a bit of marriage jitters. I just feel like I am not doing enough for you, you deserve the world and so much more. I just have these moments where I feel like I am failing you. I just get worried that I am not the right person for you. Once I am done with this album I will have the tour and we won’t see each other for a while. I feel bad putting you through that.”
“But Kiseok it’s not like we haven’t done this before, you have gone on tour in the past and we have always found a way to make it work.”
“Yeah but this time will be different, we will be married! Plus what about the future, what about when I go on tour and you will be home with our child. I don’t want our child to miss out on things because I am away on tour or stuck in the studio. I just don’t want you to regret things, I don’t want to make you sad.”
Pulling away it was your turn to take his face in your hands. You smiled up at him, “Yes this time will be different because we will be married. But that doesn’t mean anything, it will only mean that your wife will be here eagerly awaiting your return. Even if in the future we have a child, that doesn’t mean we will miss out on anything. You will have time to call and video chat with us. Kiseok I knew what I was signing up for when we first got together, and I knew damn well what I was doing when I said yes to you. You are my world, the thought of not having you in it breaks my heart. The only man I want is you, the only future I see for myself includes you! There is no better man for me out there, you are the only one who can put up with my craziness. So please don’t think this way.”
Leaning down Kiseok placed a soft kiss on your lips before pulling back and smiling at you.
“The only future I want is one with you too love, I am sorry for making you worried. I can’t wait to make you my wife.”
The following month was full of interviews and pictures, everyone wanted to hear your story. The story of a musician and the lawyer that captured his heart. Fans were very excited for the upcoming wedding, they were happy to see Kiseok settling down and were already coming up with future baby names for the two of you. You couldn’t help but laugh at what some of them were saying, how instead of Jay being next in line for a marriage it would probably skip both him and Seonghwa and jump right to Hyukwoo. I guess fans didn’t see those two as marriage material with their partying ways. If only they knew the real them they would be singing a different tune. Jay might come off as a fuck boy but he is always dreaming of meeting the special one and starting a family. Seonghwa is a romantic through and through, he is just too busy with his music to find a girl. Someday thought, those two will finally find their match.
Finally the day had arrived, the day that would tie the two of you together for all of eternity. The ceremony was being held in a small church with just your family and closes friends. When you first entered the church the lighting was soft and the music matched with violins and a piano being played. The wedding march started, and your father took your arm, the two of you began making your way down the aisle towards the man who held your heart. Watching him slowly turn to face you brought tears to your eyes and your heart sped up. You thought he was breathtaking before but now there was no way to describe how you felt. When you finally reached the front of the church your father gave you a kiss on the cheek before handing you of to Kiseok. The normal words were spoken between the two of you but everything happened so quickly as you were lost in his eyes. When everything was said and done the two of you two turned towards everyone and were announced as husband and wife.
The after party was being held at a venue not too far from the church. The theme for it was starry night, the colors on the table cloth were silver with little candles and vases of flowers as the center pieces. The room was like walking into the night sky peaceful and romantic at the same time. The night was full of laughter with all of your friends coming up to congratulate the two of you. Kiseok led you out onto the dance floor many times that night, he held you close as he sang the songs to you. The smile he had on his face never left that night, you knew that any worry he had about your future had long been forgotten. Looking up into his eyes you saw them twinkle, smiling you only thought it was fitting for him to have stars in his eyes as he was already your sun and moon.
Forgive or Forget V
[Endings always lead to new beginings│Simon D&Christian Yu]
◇ Forgive or Forget I ◇ Forgive or Forget II ◇ Forgive or Forget III ◇ Forgive or Forget IV
With Christian’s help you were able to grab everything from the house in just a few hours. You hadn’t even realized how many things you had until you were trying to pack. If it was solely up to you, you wanted to leave every single thing that Kiseok touched but Christian convinced you otherwise.
His car was loaded up with boxes of your things that you were going to place in storage until you could get a place of your own. After one final walk-through of the house you found yourself going through one of Kiseok’s drawers. One that had always piqued your interest, but you always stopped yourself from going through just so you didn’t ruin the surprise. You knew it was where he hid your gifts.
“I got the last of it in the car.” Christian stood by the doorway, watching you hold a small jewelry box.
You remained silent tracing the charms before scoffing. “It really was so obvious wasn’t it…?”
“What’s going on?” he walked closer to you, getting a better look at the box. In your hand, he saw a bunch of necklaces, all of the charms identical to the one around your neck.
“He really gave these necklaces to everyone… All this time I thought I was special...he played me…”
Christian rubbed your back softly. There were no words. Nothing he could say could comfort you, after years of betrayal it wasn’t his place to try and comfort you. He just needed to be there for you. “C’mere…” he pulled you into a warm hug.
You’d done well to slowly move on. You were completely moved out of Kiseok’s, blocked his number, and there was just one thing left to do. A Little something for yourself. The last bit of closure that you needed.
You made your way into the cafe closest to AOMG. One that you knew Kiseok’s secretary frequented for their coffee runs.
“Unnie...What are you doing here…?” Eunha stood at attention, dropping her pen before scrambling to give you a cordial smile. As if she hadn’t been lying to you for who knows how long.
“You were like a sister to me. We celebrated your birthday together, Christmas, I had you in my house...All this time I thought you were my friend...But you just wanted-”
“I-It’s not like that I-” tears began to rim her eyes. “I never wanted-” She didn’t know how you knew but there was just something about how you looked at her that broke her.
“I just can’t believe it was you… Kiseok is-was my boyfriend. We’ve been together for years. We’re supposed to get married but you-”
“I never wanted to hurt you…”
“You have an affair with my boyfriend but you didn’t want to hurt me?!” you hadn’t meant to be so loud, it wasn’t your intention to embarrass her further, but you couldn’t help it. It pissed you off that she dare be sorry when it was something of this magnitude. The other people in the cafe were in a hushed silence, all eyes on her as you glared at her. And as much as you were angry you didn’t think she deserved to be on the spot like that.
“I’m sorry.”
“I really just want to know...Why...I would never do something like that. I can’t even fathom why someone would cheat, but even worse why someone would allow themselves to be some side chick. Don’t you have any respect for yourself?”
“No...I guess I don’t…” she fell to the ground, all of her emotions rushing at her. “I...I don’t know why I did it...I just...I’m sorry! You think I feel good about this! You think I can stand looking at him or you knowing what I’ve done! You think I don’t have a heart!”
“But that’s not enough to stop you. You knew he had a girlfriend but-”
“He came onto me! He told me he loved me...He-” She stopped. “I knew it was wrong to have feelings for him...But he was my boss...he was nice to me. He…”
“But you let him…”
“I wanted him too...there I said it...I fell for him too. At first it was ok...I thought maybe you two would just break up...then we could be together...but he doesn’t want that. He only wants you.” She choked back a sob. “He only ever really wanted you...Do you know what it’s like being in bed with a man that’s planning your wedding to him…”
“If you knew that, then why play along. Why torture yourself…?”
“Because...I didn’t want to let him go either...I wanted him to love me...but...I’m not the only one… Because if I stop he’s already replaced me…”
“...How many…” you gripped your fist.
“I don’t know...too many…”
“But you let him use you like that”
“Let him…? You make it sound like I wanted him to hurt me… You’re in no place to lecture me about being used.” She looked up at you. “I know what I did...and I’m not proud of it. I was- I am stupid for letting him sweet talk me, for letting him have that much control over me...But what about you. You can’t play innocent...You had to of known… You didn’t have this gut feeling that something wasn’t right…”
She was right. In the back of your mind, you probably did know. But anytime you doubted him he was especially doating on you, clingy, kind, warm and loving. The him you loved in the beginning. But that’s how he kept you strung along. “You’re right…”
“What…?”
“Ya know...I did think there was another woman. I never thought it was you...But I did know...somehow...because I played out the moment I’d confront that other woman. How I’d curse her out for being a homewrecker. Pull her hair, smack her face...I just...I hated her...You… I somehow blame you for everything wrong in my relationship.”
“I wouldn’t blame you-” she flinched, shutting her eyes seeing your hand move but you only kneeled down in front of her, offering her your hand.
“Get up…” You gentle held her hand pulling her off the ground. “I knew I’d hate you...But I didn’t think I’d pity you so much….Even you deserve better than him… You shouldn’t let him make you feel like he owns you.”
“What are you going to do now…?”
“The same thing you should do… Leave him. Do better for yourself.” You looked at her necklace, a sad smile graced your face seeing the identical charm piece to your bracelet. “We deserve better than him.” As you made your way out she called your name.
“Unnie..I...I’m sorry...I’m really sorry...And I know you must hate me but…”
“I don’t hate you… I don’t really forgive you” you smiled. “But I don’t hate you.” and that was all you could say before you left.
Another day another cocktail party that you were awkwardly invited to. It was for a launch for something, and you had so much on your mind you honestly didn’t even bother to read the invitation. There were tons of familiar faces, You were just thankful that AOMG was nowhere to be found. You and Kiseok didn’t exactly go public about the break up it was more so you just left him.
Sitting at the bar you downed another glass of champagne; wishing it was something stronger. As much as you tried to fight it, your mind had this way to wandering back to Kiseok. It’d been over a week since you moved out. You stopped taking his calls, and put him on the no entry list for your office. And all your efforts had worked. You’d properly cut him out of your life.
Some relationships were worth salvaging. This just wasn’t one of them.
But you knew if you let him talk to you he’d have some excuse for cheating. And like the many times before he’d manipulate you into staying with him. And you needed to close that chapter in your life.
And other than that there was this weird relationship you and Christian were in. And the last thing you wanted was for him to be some sort of rebound. You didn’t want him to feel like you were rushing into things with him because you weren’t used to be alone.
You couldn’t do that to him. You knew his feelings for you and he deserved a fair chance.
The whole situation was driving you crazy. You tossed the glass of champagne back before grabbing another.
“Easy there...Night just started, it can’t be that rough” a low voice chuckled from behind you. Christian came up beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.
You smiled softly at the familiarity of it all.
Just a few weeks prior and that was how you met Christian. At the time he was just that handsome stranger from the event. Now he was your only real friend, a lifeline. Other than Swings you really didn’t have anyone in your life that wasn’t directly related to Kiseok.
“Hey stop that” Christian frowned, pressing his index finger against the furrow of your brow. “You're thinking too hard”
“Thinking isn’t a bad thing.”
“It is when you’re frowning. That means you’re dwelling.” he grabbed your hand and tugged you toward him. “C’mere.”
“Where are we going?”
“You need a distraction. Dance with me.”
“Christian please no-” you laughed, stumbling over your heels as he pulled you in the middle of the dance floor.
“Trust me” he pulled you close by the small of your back.
“I do but this is embarrassing. People are staring.”
“You’re gorgeous why wouldn’t they stare?” he swayed you to the music, smiling as you shyly looked anywhere but at him. He smiled seeing you get more comfortable, eventually just giving in and dancing with him. He leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours. “There’s something I wanted to tell you…”
“Christian…” you looked up at him, and suddenly had this wave of anxiety. The very thought that he was going to tell you something that you weren’t prepared to hear from him made you panic.
“Hey calm down” he laughed seeing the anxiety etched on your face. “It’s nothing too major, it’s just...I’m going to be leaving for Peru soon.”
“You’re going to Peru?!”
“I had it planned for a couple of months. But yeah, I just wanted to get away, enjoy the visuals and architecture of another country. I’ve never been and I’m pretty excited. “I’m going for a month.”
“Wow a whole month...That sounds great” your smile faltered. You were genuinely happy that he was going it was just a month was such a long time for him to be gone.
“Actually…”
You pulled away hearing someone call your name “Kiseok…” you turned around and sighed. You’d know that voice anywhere. And it used to bring you comfort and warmth, all it did now was pain you.
“You moved on fast Jagiya…” he nodded to Christian an unsettling smirk on his lips.
“You moved on in the middle of our relationship.” you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest.
“I never moved on. You’re my one and only.”
“Alot less convincing when you literally have a draw of identical charms that you give to me and all your mistresses.”
“But you’re my girl. You always have been.”
“What are you doing here…” you sighed.
“You never gave me a chance. You just up and left me.”
“You cheated on me. In case I didn’t make it painfully clear, that’s a clear break-up reason for me.”
He stepped closer, reaching for your hand but Christian pulled you behind him. “Look Man, the lady doesn’t want to talk about it. It’s over.”
He scoffed. “The home wrecker has something to say?”
“Home wrecker? We’re just friends.”
“You think he’s better than me?” he looked past Christian, meeting your eyes.
“Kiseok it’s over...we’re over. I’m done.”
“So just like that? We didn’t even have a discussion. All that talk about our future...marriage? Just gone like that? So what does it matter if we see other people as long we come home to one another? Imagine how happy our families would be. My parents love you. Why would you want to hurt them like that? You know my mother thinks of you like a daughter…”
“Don’t you dare. You know I love your parents...They’ve always been good to me...But I deserve better than this. You can’t say you want to be with me and tell me you want us to mutually cheat. I’m not ok with that. And you will never manipulate me again...I’m done.”
Kiseok took a deep breath and gave you a sad smile. “You know you were the only woman I’ve ever loved. Right?” Watching you remain silent he reached in his pocket. “If we really are over...I needed you to have this…”
“I don’t want it…”
He cleared his throat “For the woman of my dreams.”
“Kiseok don’t-”
He dropped to his knees and pulled out a ring and between the gasping and the chorus of shutters from cameras you were overwhelmed. You hated when attention was on you like this. You could hear the murmurs of the people around you, all anticipating your answer to Kiseok’s proposal.
You froze.
There was no way to save face.
In their eyes you and Kiseok were a long time couple, this was an anticipated moment.
Between the camera flashes and that smug look on his face you just couldn’t think. “Let’s go” Christian laced his fingers with yours and pulled you out of the party.
It was so surreal how easily you just detached from the moment. You were completely on autopilot. You looked to Christian as he drove away, his knuckles were turning white from how hard he was gripping the steering wheel.
“I can see the headlines now… Simon Dominic’s longtime girlfriend rejects his proposal and runs off with former idol.” you weren’t even angry anymore. You laughed; in Kiseok’s final moments he really did show his true colors.
“Come to Peru with me.”
“What?”
“I think you deserve a vacation.”
“Christian...I don’t want you to pity me…”
“You think I pity you?” He pulled over on the side of the road, putting the car in park. “After all this time we were together you think I pity you?” he sighed raking his hands through his hair. “I pity the situation. I don’t think you deserve any of this….But I’ve never once pitied you.”
“Christian…don’t you think going on a vacation together is a bit much.”
“I like you. And I want us to spend time together. Get to know one another… And if you’re not interested then we can just go as friends. Or co-workers. I just...I need to know you’re ok.”
You’d never made a spontaneous decision of your life. Everything was always so calculated. Always weighing the pros and cons and never living in the moment. And it was never a life you’d wanted. You loved order. It was even the reason you picked a career so clear-cut. There were no gray areas in numbers. Everything was in black and white. But with Christian it wasn’t. And normally you’d find that unsettling but with him….It was oddly comfortable.
Maybe living in that gray area for a while won’t be so bad.
As you unbuckle your seatbelt to lean closer to him he froze. Watching you with steady eyes, cautious of his moves. Your gaze met his before you cupped his cheeks. You could hear the sharp intake of his breath. You could almost feel that he was too scared to move. “Are you afraid of me…?”
“I’m afraid I’ll scare you away…”
“You won’t…” you whispered against his lips before kissing him. You could feel him tense as if he was shocked that you actually did it but soon he relaxed, returning your affection, and gripping your waist as he deepened it. Every move of his was subtle, calculated, and intentional and nothing felt more welcoming.
Your nose brushed against his as you both pulled away. His long fingers, lingering on your cheeks as he pressed his forehead to yours. “Wow…” he whispered, licking his lips.
“I’ll go….” you smiled.
“What? Really?” He couldn’t hide his bright smile. “You’ll go with me?”
“I like you too Christian...So let’s just see where this goes.” The last thing you were looking for was a relationship. And you’d been with Kiseok for such a life time it feels like you’d forgotten who you were before him. A time of self-discovery felt needed, and if you were to find Christian on the way, you weren’t going to fight that either. There were definitely feelings, and rather it was out of love, lust, or curiosity that was all to be said. And it was something you were more than willing to learn, especially with Christian by your side.
END
( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ And there we have it~ Finally the end of Forgive or Forget <3 thank you to everyone who has supported this series from start to finish (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ See you Kids later~
a/n: im rly sorry if u dont like that it’s an idol au but this was the only story that came into my head :/ i can rewrite something else if ur not satisfied with this!!
Kiseok had barely rested his damp hair on his pillow for more than a few minutes before his phone began to vibrate, forcing his fatigued eyes open.
He laid still on the bed, allowing the vibrating to persist from the device resting on the bedside table. Thoughts and ideas circulated through his head as he wondered who could be calling him at this hour.
Around 3:30 in the morning, he assumed; he had gotten home from a recording session with Sunghwa around 2:30, and his nightly routine was completed minutes before he plopped down on the bed. He wanted nothing but to have you in his arms while he slept, and it seemed to be impossible to do either.
By now, the vibrating had ceased. Kiseok let out a deep sigh before shutting his eyes and shifting into a comfortable position. As he slipped in and out of reality and his dreams, the vibrating began again, much to Kiseok’s dismay.
His eyes shot open and he attempted to repress his growing frustration as he looked at the clock sitting on the table. Its red, glowing numbers seemed to mock him, screaming the ungodly hour of 3:36 in his face. The phone continued to vibrate, begging for Kiseok’s attention.
With sleepy hands, he mercilessly slapped the table in search of the device and pressed it against his ear. His eyes closed, relieved that the most difficult portion of the task was complete.
“Hello,” he mumbled. He suddenly became aware that he did not know who was on the other line.
“Hey, baby. Sorry to wake you. I just had to tell you something and I thought it’d be better to just let you know now...”
Despite being projected through the phone speaker, Kiseok could tell your tone of voice was something to question. His boyfriend senses kicked in as his fatigued body shot up into a sitting position.
“What’s wrong, Y/N? Did something happen?”
On the other side of the world, you and your group sat in a grand hotel room, soaking in the luxury that surrounded all of you. Stone cold faces and a few stray tears could be seen as your fellow members made similar phone calls to friends, family, and their loved ones.
“Our manager was able to get us a few more tour dates! So we can promote our album more!” your words were laced with faux enthusiasm and joy, the frustration and sadness beginning to override your feelings.
“Don’t beat around the bush, just tell me. I won’t be mad if it’s something that you’re afraid to tell me, you know that.”
A sigh ghosted past your lips, the single tear that had accumulated from your pent up frustration gliding down your skin and dripping onto your leg with a soft splat.
“I won’t be back for another month,” you whispered softly. It still had not fully hit you- all your plans had been scheduled around being reunited with Kiseok in a matter of days, but now, it had to be postponed. All the waiting you had done seemed to go to waste.
The line was quiet. Your boyfriend’s breathing was audible as he gathered his thoughts and attempted to piece together a response.
“Another month on tour?” he asked, wanting to confirm what he had just heard.
“Yeah.”
He sighed, unable to mask his disappointment.
“It’s okay,” he said gently, “I’ll wait.”
Kiseok was now laying down, the news weighing him down like a ton of bricks sitting on his chest. He had been counting the days till he could see you again, and now he had to wait for another 30.
“I’m so sorry, I know that you've been planning a lot of things for when I get back and I was so excited to see you. Now everything is ruined,” a soft apology left your lips, your voice becoming unreliable as the reality of the situation set in.
The vulnerability in your voice caused Kiseok’s heart to flutter.
“Why are you apologizing, cutie? It’s not your fault. There’s nothing we can do except wait. Don’t worry about me, Oppa will be fine. And we can always change our plans; we’ll figure it out.”
You had to stifle your giggle as you pretended to gag at the name he dubbed himself with. However, hearing your laugh forced a hopeful smile on his face.
“If you call yourself ‘Oppa’ one more time, I’m not going to come back at all.”
feedback is always appreciated!! let me know what you think or if there’s anything else you want to see me write <3
summary: your simon dominic’s girlfriend and you are younger than him, by quite a few years, and he’s not sure he’s the one for you but you reassure him he is
a/n: i kinda have like a deep love for simon d that’s often hidden, so like this request made me hella happy. I changed it a bit because i felt suggested smut was better than the full out smut, hopefully the anon is okay with that
You’d spent the day running some errands, nothing special or out of the ordinary. Typically your days were dull, unless you went to the studio with your boyfriend Kiseok. But since he was older than you, by a few years, you often feared being too clingy or immature for him. Though he’d never admit to sometimes liking when you got that way.
Returning from your errands, you took the elevator up to your floor in your apartment building. A flat you and Kiseok shared together. You didn’t expect him to be home since he was helping Jay with some new music. So seeing him sitting on the couch upon entering startled you a bit. “Oh Kiseok! You scared me.”
You chuckled a bit, brushing it off as you set some groceries on the counter and started to put the perishable ones away. Kiseok didn’t say anything though, not even a hey babe, or how was your day.
As you put the last of the perishables away, you turned to look at him from behind the kitchen counter, your tone laced with confusion and concern. “Babe? Is, is everything okay?”
But still he sat, silent, hands folded together, eyes focused on a single spot on the floor. He was never one to not voice his feelings with you. So you saw this as something serious.
You made your way into the living room, sitting on the coffee table in front of him, trying to take his hands in yours, but he retracted, making you almost gasp. So you reached out to caress his cheek, to make him look at you, but again he pulled away.
“Did, d-did I do something?”
He shook his head, and as you looked closer, you now saw the tears and emotion that had been building in his eyes. “Please, Kiseok. Talk to me.”
Your words were almost falling on deaf ears, as he just got up and walked to the window, looking out at the some-what busy streets below. What were you supposed to say to him? How could you help him if you didn’t know what was wrong to begin with?
“Kiseok-” You went to wrap your arms around him, to let him know you were there and willing to listen, but he cut you off harshly.
“Why are you with me?”
His tone making you shiver as you took a step back, slowly retracting your arms, wrapping them around your waist as if to comfort yourself. You were blindsided by his question, not knowing what to say.
“What do you mean? I, I’m with you because I love you. Because you make me happy, because you’re my best friend. Why are you asking me such a thing?”
“Everyone says I’m no good for you, because of my age, how I act. They say you need someone your age, who is more your style. They say we are no good together. So if that’s the case, why are you even with me?””
He turned to look at you, the tears he held in his eyes were close to falling the more he looked at you, and he didn’t want you to see him break. So he tried his best to hold back, but looking at you only made it harder.
You stuttered as you tried to vocalize your response, nothing wanting to come out. Mostly because you had no idea what to say to him. “You think that’s how I feel? You think their opinions are mine? You think I’m with you just for fun or something? That I don’t actually care about you?”
He swallowed as your voice echoed through the flat, your tone shocked him a bit, but he just continued on. “Honestly y/n, I just, I don’t what I should think right now.“
You tried to step closer to him, to just hug him, something to calm him down because of how irrational he was being. But he shook your grip, retreating to your shared bedroom. He’d tried closing the door, but you were too close behind, and he didn’t want to hit you. Instead he sat on the bed, his head in his hands while you stood in front of him, silent. Waiting for him to explain. But nothing.
“If you want to break up, then just say so, but using some excuse like, people don’t think we should be together, that shit isn’t gonna work for me. Tell me right now, is that what you want? You want to break up? If so, then, you can leave. Last time I checked this was my place. I’m sorry if that’s harsh but, I just won’t accept it. I can’t.”
The wavering in your voice told him that you were close to tears now, and he didn’t want that. He hated the idea that he was making you upset. So he took your hands, holding them tight, his gaze stuck on the floor.
“I-I don’t want that. I would never want to break up with you, I just. I can’t help but feel like maybe people are right, a little bit. I am older than you, and we are different, and I can’t help but feel like, I do make you act different then you normally would if you were with someone your age. I don’t think you are being too harsh on me, but I just can’t help but feel like I hold you down. And I don’t want that.”
He sniffled as he looked up at you, not caring about if you saw him cry at this point. “I love and care about you too much to do that to you. So, if this isn’t what you want, then lets end it now.”
A slight laugh escaped your lips as you were in disbelieve. Your hands moved to caress his cheeks as you wiped the few tears that rested on them. “But that’s not what I want, and you know that. Stop thinking that just because everyone thinks that, that I think that.”
You sighed as he looked to the floor, this newer side of him catching you off guard, but you didn’t let that effect you. Just trying your best to convince him that he was wrong.
“Kiseok, you don’t hold me down. You lift me up.”
Your hands tilting his face to look up at you, and though he tried to pull away, you wouldn’t let him, showing him how serious you were.
“Who cares what they think. I know, that I love you. And only you. So they think I’m too young, or you’re too old. That doesn’t matter. It’s our relationship, not theirs. Their opinions shouldn’t matter to us. Sure it’s a few years, but there’s nothing wrong with it. And there is nothing, wrong with you. You need to stop thinking something is wrong with you.”
His eyes never losing your gaze as he saw and heard just how much he meant to you. His hands reached out for you, holding your waist as he rested his head against your chest, just wanting to be close to you. He didn’t want to lose you, but he was just so sure it was the right thing, it was what he was supposed to do.
“I am with you, because you are the most amazing man I have ever met. Because whenever I am sad, you can cheer me up. You’re constantly surprising me, things are always exciting with you. Sure we do things different then other couples, but that’s just us. It has nothing to do with your age or mine. Please, just, look at me.”
Your hands pulling his face away from your frame, making him look at you through tear filled eyes. “I love you Jung Kiseok.”
It was as if time froze, the two of you lost in each others eyes, before his hands pulled you closer to him. You took this as an opportunity to pull his face to yours, closing the distance as your lips crashed onto his.
He’d pulled you onto the bed so you were straddling his waist, as the kiss had become more intense with each passing second. The two of you easily forgetting that just moments ago it seemed as if your whole relationship was coming to an end.
“I’m sorry I’m such an idiot.”
Kiseok pulled away as he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes never looking away from yours.
“Just kiss me and never threaten to leave me again, idiot.” He chuckled as he pulled your lips back to his, quickly trying to do whatever he could to apologize for the fight.
Your relationship with kiseok is not perfect as people sees, you have ups and downs, you fight and have misunderstanding many times but you still manage to save your relationship, you both know how to apologize and admit your mistakes. You made sure that you are alright before you sleep, you talk the problems and find solutions and promise to each you won't fight because of one problem again. When you forgive one another and forget about whatever reason you are fighting you never brought it again. You are six years younger than him but you are matured as him, sometimes more matured than him. You know how to calm him down when he can't control his anger and he knows how to cheer you up when you are feeling down or when you have your period. You accept him with all your heart and he was thankful for that, he treats you like a queen like how you treat him like a king. Kiseok is sure about his feelings for you, he loves you with his all heart and he never looks to other girls, that's why after two years of your relationship he asked you to marry him and you gladly say yes.
You are very excited to plan your wedding, you personally design your invitation. Kiseok chooses the motif of your wedding, black and red. It's been three months since you start planning your wedding day. You found a very good stylist for your wedding dress. You are trying your best to attend all your schedule and your work. There is a brief moment that you feel tired and exhausted but whenever you see the invitation card with your name and kiseok's name you feel recharged and alive again.
"You look great" your friend exclaims as soon as she saw you wearing a long white gown. You smile widely and examine the gown "I can't decide, I love all designs" you laughs "How to choose? I want all of them" you added "Why don't you asks kiseok? Maybe he can help you" your friend suggested, making your heart ache. You have had a small fight with him last night because he didn't show up on your meeting with wedding coordinator, he said he forget. He forgets because he is with the boys which made your heartache because this isn't the first time he forgot or didn't show up on your meetings about your wedding. "he's busy because hoody will release an album" you force a smile "Whatever. I will take picture of you so smile beautifully" she said pointing the lens of her camera on you, after few shoot she smiles at you "I send you a copy" she said "Thanks, I go change. I have to meet the Jaemin for our cake"
---
"This is strawberry cake vanilla with buttercream frosting, we can add some strawberries for decoration or if you want we can put some pearl on layers" the food caterer explains "Vanilla seems plain maybe we can add a few strawberries icing on the edges of layers? then pearls? what you think? it will fit on our color motif right?" you said "That's a great idea! We will do that but how about the drinks? Do you prefer soda, ice tea or wine?" Jaemin asked you "I'm not sure but can we have ice tea and red wine? I don't know which label is the best" you answer "It's alright. we can do that too. what about your groom, maybe he knows or want a specific wine" she asked "I will ask him" you smiles at him, suddenly you felt your phone vibrate inside your bag "Sorry excuse me for a minute, I need to take this" you excuse yourself, walking into corner of the room before you answer your phone "Hello Mr. Shin? Is there any problem?" you immediately asked "I'm sorry to disturb you but supposedly we have a meeting with Mr.Jung for his wedding coat but we been waiting almost three hours for him, we can't contact him too so we decided to call you" he explains a little bit of worried and disappointment on his tone "Really? I'm so sorry, Can-- can you set a new schedule for him again? I'm really sorry I--he-we been busy with these past days. I'm sure it's not he didn't mean not to show up"
After your food tasting, you hurriedly get your car and drive to AOMG office. You can't understand what you feels right now, anger, disappointment, and confusion. You tried calling kiseok but your call always went to his voice message. You are on verge of tears but you are trying hard not to cry but you can't stop feeling hurt, yesterday he forgot your meeting and you ended up fighting, he apologized but it happens again, this isn't the second time, you don't know how many time he forgot about your meetings. You also noticed how became less interest on your wedding preparations, when you have to meet with coordinators he's always on his phone or his mind is thinking something else. You did all decisions, when you asks his opinion he would always say "Whatever you want, let's have it" "I don't know, you choose" "it's up to you" "if that's what you want"
Parking your car in front of the building you jump out of your car and hurriedly went inside "Where is he?" you asked the Mina "He's ion studio with gray and jay" she answer you "Thank you" you said, your feet moves on its ways completely know their destination, you are ready to burst inside when you hear jay's voice. You stood in front of the door as you listen to what they are talking
"What do you mean you don't want to do it anymore?" Gray asks the older man "Maybe you are just stress" he added "I didn't say that I don't want to do it" Kiseok sighs "It's just so--everything is so fast---I'm starting it's too sudden---Maybe I was so stupid to ask her to marry me--I do love her very much it's blinded me..I never thought about what will happen in future, I don't have a plan for us" he sighs shoving his head on his palms "What are you saying, dude? You two are happy with each other, you love each other what went wrong?" Jay asked his friend "I don't know, I'm just--" "You are having a second thoughts about getting married?" gray finished his word, kiseok look at him and sighs "Yes" Jay sighed and sit beside him "Maybe you are stress with all these preparations, what if take a break? postpone the wedding? and come to our tour? We will be travelling for two months, maybe it will help you"
You feel your whole world starts to falls after hearing those words, you move your hands from the door knob to wipe your tears away. Turning your feet around, you slowly start walking away with a heavy heart. "Miss? Are you alright?" minah asked you when she saw you walking out crying, you wipe your tears dry and took a deep breath before turning to her "Yes" you forced a smile "I--Just don't tell them I came" you said "O-Okay" she nodded her head "Are you sure you alright?" she asked again "Yes. Don't worry, I'm just tired, they are doing something important I can't disturb them" you smile again "Alright, Take care" she bow at you.
You left the building and went inside your car, you sat there feeling hurt. You watch your life crash in your eyes, his words still echo on your mind, how unsure he is, "he's having second thought about our wedding, he didn't see himself with me" your tears keep falling down "I thought what we have is real, I thought you want to be with me" you hiccoughs "I thought---So much for my happy ending" you cry.
After few minutes you manage to calm yourself before driving home. When you arrived home, you didn't waste anytime you packed all your clothes and important things. You made sure you pack your passport and important IDs. After making sure you are packed you grab your phone on the table and dialed your co-worker's number "Hi, Zia. Sorry to call you this hour but I have some favor to ask, can you tell our boss that I can't go to work for days? Something comes up. Thank you" you said "Thank you" you turn your phone off then you saw the ring in your hand, you sadly look at the gold metal wrap around your finger. "You used to bring happiness" you whisper "It's sad that you are meaningless now" then you removed the ring from your finger, you're heart skip a beat when you hear your name being called "What's going?" you turn around to see kiseok looking at your packed bags "You leaving?" he asked finally looking at you "What's going on? did something happen?" he exclaimed seeing your swollen eyes, he attempt to step closer to you but he stop when he saw the ring in your hand "Let's end this" his head snap at you "What the fuck are you saying?" he asks "What's wrong? Why you want to end this?" he started to get angry, after the talks with gray and jay he decided to go home to talk to you about your wedding but he didn't expect this will welcome him home "I don't know if I can stay any longer knowing that you are not sure about our relationship" you cried "Why you asks me to marry you when you are not sure if you really love me?" you asked him "What are you saying?" his tone changed "I heard you. I heard that you are having second thought about us, now I know why you are not interested on planning our wedding, I finally understand why you always forgot our meetings and schedule because you don't really want to get married" you cries, kiseok's heart torn apart seeing you crying, he step forward he attempt to touch your face but you move away "It's not like that. I was just--" he sighs "I don't really know why I am like this" he admits "But please you don't have to leave, we can fix this" he begs "No. I'm leaving. I need to do this" you firmly said "I love you, it's real I do really love you"kiseok exclaims "No you don't love me, because if you really do. You won't have a second thought about us" you sighs looking at his eyes "I'm leaving so won't make any excuses, you don't need to say our love is true because not it became a lie" you reach his hand shoving the small ring on his hand before moving away getting your bag and suite, Kiseok stood still fighting the tears, his mind was blank and he can't think straight he stares at the ring on his hand "Sorry If I wasn't enough, sorry if I didn't reach your expectation and you still doubt if I was the one for you and Thank you because you made believe that what we have is real. Don't worry I'll be fine, you don't have to worry about me anymore" you said before leaving, when he heard the door slam shut, his tears finally fall down from his eyes.
