#snapes worst memory

[danadiadea]

I dont know who needs to hear it, but Snape didn't get upset because Harry saw him calling Lily a mudblood after SWM. Snape got upset because Harry saw him being SAed by James and Sirius. Harry himself is clearly only troubled about the SA part (and about his father harassing his mom). "Snape's worst memory" is a label given to it by HARRY, not by Snape. Why did Harry call it so? Because of the bullying.

Harry had seen several Snape's traumatic memories — school taunting by some girl, poverty, his father abusing his mom — and Snape didn't get mad in any way. Those memories were arguably more graphic then anything Snape saw in Harry's mind, at least from those memories Harry explicitly mentioned for us to know – the worst one was probably running away from a dog, and while we know it was abusive, i wouldn't say that being chased by a dog in itself is nessesarily a sign of long term abuse. None of that was on par with SWM. Snape drew the line at BEING FORCIBLY FUCKING UNDRESSED. by the PHYSICAL COPY OF HARRY. Severus himself, after pulling Harry out of the pencive, says 'Amusing man, your father, wasn’t he?' – because he is triggered by James, he's shaking because of James, his concern at that moment, standing with James' look alike, is what James did to him.

Yes, Snape doesnt have a problem to admit he was a victim of James and Sirius when it comes to murder attempt or physical harm, but isn't it obvious how sexual violence is different from physical violence? That its MUCH easier to admit to being a victim of the latter for most people? Yes, it probably wasnt out of the ordinary in any way aside from the breakup with Lily in terms of cruelty, nothing suggests it was, but it's still sexual violence, and it's traumatic in a different way physical or verbal violence is, and its MORE traumatic when the person who saw it is the perpetrator's lookalike son.

Snape literally dropped Harry a bunch of memories with Lily that he didn't nessesarily have to; even tho his motivation ought to be explained to make Harry trust him – all the explicit memories of their friendship he gave (in all of which he is claiming the fault and doesn't try to whitewash his behaviour, they clearly aren't picked to show him in the best light) had been given willingly. He does admit (in my opinion, extremely disproportionately) his fault at the breakup with Lily. But James is on his mind more then Lily is. James triggers him, mentions of James make him lose it.

Because this is how having an SA PTSD works for many SA victims.

[poitionsprince]

Gryffindor!Severus Au.

No Slytherin intervention on his end since he's a poor halfblood with a blood-traitor mother.

No 'mudblood incident' or Lily pulling away for him hanging out with blood purists.

Stuck with the marauders for 7 years in the same room through 'The Prank' AND 'The Worst Memory'.

The voices... THE VOICES-

[sanana4]

[the-fuck-did-u-say]

“James moved on, unlike Severus.”

Ok ok hear me out… it’s almost like James wasn’t the one that was bullied?

[paranoid-doe]

Reread SWM the other day and couldn't contain myself, I had to sketch it.

Transcript

Snape: Having fun, Potter? It comes untold you mustn't speak of this to anyone.

Harry: Of— Of course not. I won't, I— I swear I won't tell!

Snape: Leave.

[iamnmbr3]

I reached the Snape's Worst Memory chapter. Honestly I find this to be one of the hardest things to read in the whole series. The protracted, wanton cruelty is awful - and especially horrifying is the way most people in the scene look on and do nothing, or laugh.

The fact that Snape can never just relax on a nice day. He has to hide himself in the shadows for fear of being attacked and tormented is so sad.

We know what kind of person Wormtail grew up to be and we see here that he was always attracted to hanging around powerful, cruel people who could provide him with sadistic entertainment. He traded James & Sirius for Voldemort once he got out of school of course. But I think it says a lot about the kind of people they were at the time. This wasn't an isolated incident that went especially far, but a regular type of entertainment.

It's really just sick what happens here. They're basically magically waterboarding him at this point. James is exactly the kind of person Harry would have stood up to if they'd gone to school at the same time. I mean after this memory he is so shaken he falls into a depression and wonders if James and Lily ended up together because he forced himself on her.

And to be clear I actually like the narrative potential of Harry discovering that the father he looked up to so much actually was the type of person he despises. I wish a bit more had been done with this though.

The fact that James takes out his frustration with Lily's rejection by tormenting and humiliating Snape more says a lot about him. I also think it's really interesting Sirius is the one who says "[i]f you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals" but he never really connects that sentiment with how he and James treated Snape.

(As an aside I will also never get why JKR thinks James and Sirius are redeemable for this behavior even though we never get to see anything in canon to prove that James or Sirius ever truly acknowledged the depth of how wrong what they did was or regretted it, but somehow she gets all mad at people for suggesting that Draco, who did canonically regret his actions and change his ways and who never did anything like this, was anything other than irredeemable.)

[achingless]

Et tu, a poem for Severus Snape's worst memory

I hope you liked this. Writing this was cathartic for me after reading about Snape's worst memory. It was unfair, unjustified, and cruel.

The prose used here about the sewing machine's noise being like music was inspired by this lovely fanart by @ebysse 🤎

[simon-snowing]

lupin chilling at the grimmaulds place when harry decides to use the floo powder to call out both sirius and him (since he is already there) for being brats and bullies,,, yeah harry's "im fifteen too!" when sirius tries to justify james' actions just cut so so deep

he is fifteen too and he never even thought about being a bully like that cause he knows what its like to be singled out and mistreated and how much he actually sympatizes with snape is crushing him,, the abuse parallels between harry and snape wow i am crying again