Balcony Blues & Hange's Clues (Hange Zoe X Reader)
Pairing: Hange Zoë x f!Reader (Modern AU, both are aunts hehe)
Synopsis: You're just trying to survive Eren and Mikasa’s wedding with cigarettes and sarcasm, dodging nosy friends who won’t stop grilling you about her love life—or lack thereof. When Mikasa’s wild aunt, Hange Zoë, crashes the party fresh from some far-flung adventure, old sparks and buried feelings ignite, pulling you into a night of chaos, laughter, and revelations that might just burn your carefully crafted denial to the ground.
Content Warnings: Smoking, alcohol consumption, mild language, NSFW (explicit WLW content, semi-public setting), internalized homophobia/denial, light angst.
The warm evening breeze carried the faint scent of jasmine from the venue's manicured gardens, mingling with the sharp tang of champagne and distant laughter. Fairy lights strung across the open bar twinkled like stars against the deepening twilight, illuminating the joyful chaos of Eren and Mikasa’s wedding reception. Eren, ever the charismatic groom, looked sharp in his sleek black suit, his green eyes sparkling as he spun Mikasa on the dance floor. She was a vision in her minimalist white gown, the fabric flowing like water with every graceful move. Their friends buzzed around them, the air thick with the clink of glasses, the thump of bass from pop hits, and the infectious energy of a night where worries seemed worlds away.
(Yn) leaned against the cool metal railing of the balcony, the city's skyline sprawling out below like a glittering mosaic. A cigarette dangled loosely between her fingers, its ember glowing faintly as she took a slow drag, the smoke curling lazily into the night air. It was her ritual—her escape from the crowd's well-meaning but relentless prying.
She was that aunt tonight—rich, single, and chain-smoking on the balcony of a fancy venue, watching her friends pair off like they were in some cheesy rom-com. Armin and Annie were swaying drunkenly to a slow song, Jean and Pieck were making out in a corner (gross). (Yn) took a long drag, exhaling her irritation.
'Why the hell is everyone so obsessed with my love life?'
"Oi, (Yn), still sulking out here?" Jean’s voice cut through the music, his arm slung around Pieck like she was his personal trophy. "What’s the deal? No date again? You know, Levi’s free, or maybe Erwin’s more your type—tall, blonde, eyebrows for days." He snickered, and Pieck elbowed him, but her grin betrayed her.
(Yn) rolled her eyes, flicking ash over the railing.
"Keep talking, horseface, and I’ll yeet you off this balcony."
"Touchy, touchy!" Jean laughed, dodging her mock glare. "Seriously, though, you’re, what, 30? 35? And still no one? You’re richer than all of us combined! What’s the hold-up?"
"I don’t know, Jean, maybe I’m allergic to idiots," (Yn) shot back, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Or maybe I’m just living my best life, unlike you, who’s stuck with Pieck’s bad taste in men."
Pieck gasped dramatically, clutching her chest. "Rude! I have excellent taste. Anyway, you gotta pick, (Yn)!"
(Yn)’s grip tightened on the railing, her jaw clenching as she flicked ash over the edge. The teasing always hit a nerve, especially when it involved men. It wasn’t just annoyance—it was a deeper discomfort she’d never quite unpacked.
Historia stumbled over, giggling and flushed from wine. "Oh come on, (Yn)! Just confess to Levi already. You two would be adorable—short and sassy together!"
Levi’s eyes narrowed from across the way, shooting Historia a death glare that could curdle milk. Erwin, overhearing, arched one of those infamous eyebrows and added dryly, "I’m flattered, but I’m not sure I’m your type, (Yn)."
The group erupted into laughter, but (Yn) felt like screaming. It wasn’t funny—it was exhausting. Every joke about her with a guy made her skin crawl, a reminder of the dates she’d endured, the kisses that felt wrong, the relationships that fizzled because something essential was missing... for some reason..
Just as her temper neared boiling point, a raucous cackle pierced the air, cutting through the tension like a knife. Hange Zoe, Mikasa’s eccentric aunt, exploded onto the scene like a force of nature. Fresh from an overseas research stint—something about exotic ecosystems or bizarre inventions—she was a whirlwind in a mismatched blazer and skirt, her wild hair escaping its ponytail, glasses perched precariously on her nose. The scent of airport coffee and adventure clung to her as she hoisted a tray of tequila shots high.
"Who’s ready to turn this party up a notch?!" she bellowed, her voice booming with unbridled enthusiasm.
The younger crowd—Eren, Connie, Sasha—roared in approval, swarming her like moths to a flame. Soon, the reception devolved into glorious mayhem: spilled drinks sticky underfoot, bad karaoke renditions echoing off the walls, and impromptu dance battles that had everyone in stitches.
(Yn) couldn’t suppress a smile, the tension easing as memories flooded back. Hange had always been this way—chaotic, brilliant, utterly captivating—even when they were younger, before life pulled them apart. Back then, (Yn) had dismissed the warmth she felt around Hange as friendship, nothing more. But now, watching her command the room with that infectious grin, (Yn) felt a pull she couldn’t ignore. Despite her resolve to stay grumpy, Hange spotted her and zeroed in, grabbing (Yn)’s hand with calloused fingers that sent an unexpected spark up her arm.
"C’mon, (Yn), you can’t mope all night! Dance with me!" Hange insisted, her eyes sparkling behind smudged lenses. She spun (Yn) into the fray, their bodies brushing in the crowd, laughter bubbling up as they stumbled through a ridiculous routine to a upbeat track neither recognized. The world narrowed to Hange’s touch, her scent—earthy and alive—and for a moment, (Yn)’s denial cracked, just a little.
Hours blurred into a haze of revelry. The younger ones dropped like flies: Connie face-planted on a table amid empty plates, Sasha snoring softly with a half-eaten bread roll clutched like a treasure. Levi had slipped away (likely to scrub something spotless), and Eren and Mikasa vanished to consummate their vows in private bliss. The venue quieted, the fairy lights casting long shadows as (Yn) found herself back on the balcony, the cool night air a balm on her flushed skin. She picked up scattered cups alongside Hange, who hummed off-key while tossing trash into a bag, her energy undimmed.
"These kids really can’t hold their liquor," Hange chuckled, her voice warm and gravelly from shouting over the music. "Remember us back in the day? We’d outlast everyone, then you’d have to drag me away from my ‘experiments’ with the bar leftovers."
(Yn) snorted, stacking plates with a clatter. The memory surfaced vividly: Hange’s wild ideas, the way her eyes lit up like fireworks, and how (Yn) always lingered, drawn in despite herself.
"Yeah, like that time you nearly burned down the bar trying to flambé a cocktail. ‘For science,’ you said."
"It was for science!" Hange protested, leaning against the railing, her silhouette framed by the city lights. Up close, (Yn) noticed the faint lines of exhaustion around her eyes, the subtle scent of her shampoo—something citrusy and fresh. "So, spill: I overheard the gang roasting you about being single. Brutal bunch."
(Yn) groaned, fishing out another cigarette and lighting it with a flick of her lighter, the flame dancing briefly in the dark. The first inhale steadied her, but the topic churned her insides.
"They won’t let it go. Acting like I’m some pitiful spinster because I haven’t settled down. ‘Why no boyfriend, (Yn)? You’d be perfect with this guy or that.’ It’s infuriating. I don’t know why it bugs me so much, but every time they ship me with Levi or Erwin, I just... snap. Maybe I’m just not meant for that crap." She exhaled sharply, the smoke veiling her vulnerability. "They were teasing me about being single, turns out I’m not alone. Heh."
Hange tilted her head, a mischievous smirk playing on her lips, her gaze piercing in the dim light.
"So, are you saying we should be together instead?"
(Yn) choked mid-drag, coughing as smoke burned her throat, her face igniting in a furious blush.
"H-Hange, what the hell?!" she spluttered, fanning the air.
The words hit like a thunderbolt, cracking open the denial she’d clung to for years. All those stolen glances, the butterflies she’d dismissed as admiration— it rushed back, undeniable.
'No, I’m not gay. I can’t be.'
But the irritation with men, the way women like Hange made her feel alive... it was so obvious now, staring her in the face.
Hange laughed, unfazed, stepping closer until their arms brushed, sending a jolt through (Yn).
"What? It’s a valid point! We’re both single, ridiculously attractive, and the only ones with any sense here. Why not give it a shot?"
(Yn)’s mind reeled. She’d buried these feelings deep—convincing herself it was just friendship, that her aversion to dating men was pickiness, not preference. But Hange’s proximity shattered that facade.
"You’re drunk," (Yn) muttered, turning away, her heart pounding like a drum.
'This isn’t me. I’m straight. Aren’t I?'
"Sober as a judge," Hange murmured, her voice dropping to a husky whisper as she gently turned (Yn)’s face back.
"Come on, (Yn). You’re blushing like a tomato. Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it—about us."
The denial crumbled. (Yn) opened her mouth to protest, but the lie stuck in her throat. Instead, she glared, cheeks aflame.
"You’re impossible," she hissed, but there was no heat in it—only surrender.
Hange’s grin widened, and she closed the gap, her lips capturing (Yn)’s in a kiss that was urgent, warm, and utterly right.
It was like a dam breaking.
They stumbled into a shadowed corner of the venue, then into a nearby storage room, the door clicking shut behind them. The air was thick with the scent of cleaning supplies and dust, but all (Yn) could focus on was Hange—her hands roaming, exploring with a scientist’s curiosity and a lover’s tenderness. Hange’s lips trailed down (Yn)’s neck, nipping softly, eliciting a gasp that (Yn) quickly muffled against Hange’s shoulder.
"Shh," Hange whispered teasingly, her breath hot against (Yn)’s skin as her fingers deftly unzipped (Yn)’s dress, letting it pool at her feet. The cool air raised goosebumps, but Hange’s touch warmed her instantly, sliding over her curves, thumbs brushing sensitive peaks until (Yn) arched into her.
"Shut up," (Yn) gasped, her voice breaking into a soft moan as Hange’s hand dipped lower, fingers teasing through fabric before slipping beneath. It was intoxicating—the way Hange knew exactly where to touch, circling with deliberate pressure, building a fire that had (Yn) trembling. She clung to Hange, nails digging into her back, biting her lip to stifle cries as waves built and crashed.
Hange wasn’t done. She dropped to her knees, her glasses fogging slightly as she hooked (Yn)’s leg over her shoulder, her tongue delving in with expert precision. (Yn)’s world narrowed to the slick heat, the quiet slurps and gasps, her hand fisting in Hange’s hair to guide her. It was messy, intense—Hange’s enthusiasm knocking over a broom with a clatter that made them both freeze, then dissolve into stifled giggles before resuming with renewed fervor. (Yn) came undone quietly, her body shuddering, whispers of Hange’s name escaping like prayers.
They switched, (Yn) eager to reciprocate, her denial fully shattered in the afterglow. She explored Hange with tentative then confident touches, reveling in the sounds she drew out—muffled moans, Hange’s hips bucking against her mouth. It was clumsy at first, but passionate, their bodies syncing in a rhythm that felt inevitable.
By morning, the breakfast buffet hummed with groggy chatter, the scent of fresh coffee and bacon wafting through the air. (Yn) nursed her mug, her hair tousled, muscles pleasantly sore, while Hange animatedly explained some obscure theory to a bleary-eyed Armin. Connie, rubbing his temples, smirked across the table.
"Yo, (Yn), sounds like the newlyweds weren’t the only ones over the moon last night, huh? Heard some... interesting noises from that storage room."
(Yn) nearly spat her coffee, face flaming as Hange choked on her juice, bursting into laughter. Levi arched an eyebrow, muttering, "Disgusting," but a faint smirk tugged at his lips.
(Yn) kicked Hange under the table, but Hange caught her hand, lacing their fingers with a wink that promised more.
Maybe embracing who she was wasn’t so scary after all. And being the single aunt?
That chapter was officially closed.
Hange wasn't my gay awakening but she sure was my gay fortifier.
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