#solitaremit

[t-aversed]

You are Solitaremit!

[murderbotwritingprompts]

Hi hopefully I dont word this wrong :') Do you have a compilation of definitions of some of the newer words youve been using? Like Athiktomisics, Transmisia, Etc. I know ive seen when you made the posts but I cant find them cause tumblr is tumblr :') I think transmisia is just transphobia but reworded since its not a phobia but for some of the others im a bit lost on.

Thank you for asking, you didn't word this rudely at all! Thank you for being willing to learn!

Transmisia

Transmisia is indeed ""transphobia" but minus the "-phobia" suffix, because hating trans people isn't an anxiety disorder like phobias are, and people who do have phobias get treated horribly because people think it means they're bigots when they're not.

The -misia suffix comes from the word "misos" for "hatred", which is also where the word misogyny comes from! Miso-hatred, gyn-women. Misogyny = hatred of women.

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Athiktomisia (link to coining post)

Athiktomisia is bigotry towards people who are touch averse, with athikto translating to, roughly, untouchable or thereabouts,and the -misia suffix like above indicating hatred. Athikto+misia = hatred of those who are untouchable.

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Solitaremit, soliteremity, etcetera (link to coining post)

Solitaremit is a specific form of touch aversion where the person is touch averse, and also does not get ""touch starved"" or have any desire for touch at all, specifically created because many touch averse people who do not get touch starved were being alienated even in touch averse spaces, because desiring touch and being touch starved was still behind held up as normal and universal.

Solitaremity is...uh, the state of being solitaremit. Example sentence: Most people, even those who are otherwise touch averse, don't even know that solitaremity exists.

Solitaremity was created specifically to be a unique word that is brand new, and thus (meant to be) easy to search for and find, combining the words "solitary" and "hermit" for maximum emphasis.

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Solitaremisia

Solitaremisia is, again, the -misia suffix, combined with solitaremit to specify hatred against people who are touch averse who specifically do not desire touch in any way, even with touch starvation. Which is unfortunately a common attitude even in other touch averse people :|

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Gregariable

Gregariable will probably be used at some point, it was created as the counterpart to solitaremit, it means someone who desires touch and gets touch starved, whether or not they're also touch-averse. Aka, 99.99% of people are gregariable. It combines the words "gregarious" and "sociable" to create a unique word so that it would be easy to search for.

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Aroacemisia

Aroacemisia is bigotry against aroace people in particular, again with the -misia suffix to indicate hatred.

Amisia, acemisia, and aromisia are hatred towards aspec people in general, hatred towards asexual people, and hatred towards aro people.

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Exorsexism

Exorsexism is the specific hatred of nonbinary and genderqueer people, which is separate from, but sometimes a part of, transmisia.

Murderbot is nonbinary, so any transmisia it faces is inherently exorsexist.

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It its antagonism

it its antagonism refers to hatred targeted specifically at people who use it/its pronouns, usually always combined with exorsexism. It its antagonism is a form of neopronomisia.

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Neopronomisia

Neopronomisia is hatred of pronouns other than she/her or he/him. This includes but is not limited to pronouns like it/its, te/ter, and they/them.

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Let me know if you need any more defined!

[rjalker]

[ID: Three screenshots from the show The Good Place, showing Chidi and Eleanor talking.

Chidi has four pride flags around his head:

Aroace, with stripes of orange, yellow, white, blue, and navy blue.

Touch averse, with stripes of orange, red, black, red, orange, with a black and red milkweed flower in the center.

Solitaremit, with stripes of light grey, gold, orange, red, black, and red-purple.

Nonpartnering, with stripes of sky blue, cyan, dark grey, purple-pink, and dark purple. In the center is a white, rounded, five pointed star.

Chidi speaks first, gesturing for emphasis: "What you are doing is harmful. You are hurting oppressed people with your behavior. You are hurting people who face erasure and oppression from all sides of our society no matter where they go, in a place whose whole entire purpose is to be welcoming and safe for them.".

Eleanor, smiling, responds, "Actually, no, it doesn't hurt anyone at all. I know, because I don't face this oppression, and it doesn't hurt me, that means it doesn't hurt anyone at all. My behavior isn't hurting anyone.".

The word "don't" in "I don't face this oppression" is underlined for emphasis.

Chidi responds, eyes wide, in all caps, "I literally just explained to you that your behavior is hurting people".

End ID.]

People are like "What do you mean I'm a bigot, all I did was tell oppressed people they aren't actually facing bigotry!!!"

Archived link of the bullshit in question.

[solitaremit]

Pinned post.

My main blog is @rjalker. My pronousn are it/its.

What is solitaremit? Solitaremit is a term coined to describe people who are both touch averse / touch repulsed, and who never experience "touch starvation", where someone craves physical contact with others.

Let me repeat that again: Someone who never gets touch starved. The key word here is "never". Solitaremit is not intended to encompass a spectrum of experiences, it defines a specific experience only, and that is intentional. Touch aversion/repulsion is itself already a spectrum, this term has been created specifically to allow the most silenced part of that spectrum a way to have a voice.

Here is the coining post for the term solitaremit, as well as its counterpart for people who do experience touch starvation.

Here is the archived version of that post.

Here is the PDF version of the text in the post, as well as the HD versions of the pride flags.

Why do we need the word solitaremit?

Because touch starvation is touted as some universal experience every single person ever born has, and people claim that if you say otherwise, that either means you're lying to yourself and are purposefully "denying yourself" touch as a form of self-harm, or you're so traumatized and damaged already that you can't trust yourself to know what you do and do not need.

This term was coined to offer a safe haven for the people it describes, because every other part of the touch averse/repulsed communities is already seemingly dedicated to being touch starved, and in eternal conflict over wanting something you simultaneously hate.

Well I literally do not want it at all. I never have and I never will. I do not crave physical touch. I do not get touch starved. I am not suffering or self-harming or denying myself a basic universal need.

I am touch averse, and I am solitaremit. I do not need or want you to pity me or lecture me on how much I'm hurting myself by not letting other people touch me.

This blog is being created to spread awareness of the term itself, so other people can use it if they want, and so I can answer questions from other people if they have any.

If I can find them, I will also reblog stories and art with solitaremit characters, positivity posts, and anything else I think will be helpful or fun. I will also reblog posts calling out and explaining athiktophobia (ableism against touch averse people), and those will be tagged as "athiktophobic posts". There is not yet a term for ableism specifically against solitaremit people, but I'm sure we can come up with something, since it'd definitely be helpful.

You can send in questions, memes, actually respectful writing prompts, ect.

[rjalker]

[ID: Two versions of the same pride flag. The first is square shaped, the second is wider and shaped like a rectangle.

The flag has six horizontal stripes of, in order from top to bottom: light grey, gold, orange, red, black, and dark wine purple.

End ID.]

November 19th 2022. Here's a PDF, slightly shorter version of this post and HD versions of the flags on the web archive. Here's the archived version of this post.

For everyone else who never experiences the supposedly-universal experience of “touch starvation”, I am coining two terms.

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First I am coining the term "solitaremit", to describe people who are touch averse and do not ever experience touch starvation.

Solitaremit is a combination of "solitary" and "hermit" because it's easy to remember and straight to the point, and doesn't exist anywhere else on the internet yet, so it can't be mixed up with anything else.

Solitary + hermit – the Y and H = Solitaremit

Soll-ih-tair-eh-mit (or met, it doesn't really matter)

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I am also coining the term "gregariable" to describe people who do experience touch starvation.

Gregariable is a combination of "gregarious" and "sociable" for people who do experience touch starvation, whether or not they're touch amiable or averse. This word also does not yet exist on the internet, so it can't be confused for anything else.

Gregarious + sociable - the ous and soci = gregariable

greh-gair-ee-uh-bull

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Solitaremit works as an adjective the same way as touch averse/touch repulsed do. IE: "It is solitaremit, it doesn't like being touched and doesn't get touch starved" “they are solitaremit”

Same with gregariable. "They are gregariable, they get touch starved." "I am touch averse and gregariable, I don't like being touched, but I still get touch starved"

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Solitaremity would be used to describe the thing...I can't think of the grammar word.

Example:

"Most of the stress 'caused by' solitaremity is caused by gregariable people refusing to respect solitaremit people's boundaries or existence." “I am researching solitaremity for a story I'm writing so I won't be ableist by mistake.”

I have edited tags related to solitaremity into all my posts about touch aversion, so you should, in theory, be able to search my blog for this word right now on the day I'm posting this and find stuff.

I have no doubt these terms will be shortened / streamlined as time goes on. That's perfectly fine, this is just something to give us a fucking foundation to at least stand on.

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List of the new terms:

Solitaremit / solitaremity / solitaremisia

Gregariable / gregariality

Solitaremit: Someone who does not enjoy being touched, and never gets touch starved. EX: “Murderbot is solitaremit, it never wants to be touched. Solitaremit representation in fiction is very rare, and it's even rarer for it to be handled respectfully.”

Solitaremity: “Solitaremity is treated as something to be ashamed of, because gregariable people are more common, are self-entitled, and have no fucking compassion for others.”

Solitaremisia: Ableism directed specifically against solitaremit people.

Bigotry against touch-averse people in general is called athiktomisia.

Gregariable: Someone who gets touch starved / desires touch, whether or not they are touch averse and would actually enjoy the touch.

Gregariality: “Gregariality is treated as the universal experience, unfortunately for those who are solitaremit, who are shamed for being solitaremit from the moment they start expressing discomfort with touch.”

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What do the flag colors mean?

I picked colors commonly seen on poisonous/venemous animals to ward off attacks. Monarch butterflies and other insects that eat milkweed for the yellow, orange, red, and black, poison dart frogs for the purple, and cottonmouths specifically for the light grey.

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Can I use this pride flag for art?

Yes. I'm the one who made it, and I say it's public domain because fuck capitalism. Use it for literally anything you fucking want. Credit is not even necessary, though I will ask that, whenever possible, you include an image description, as well as sharing HD images of the flags with those who don't have them.

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Some suggested tags to use or look through are:

solitaremit

actuallysolitaremit

actually solitaremit

solitaremitiy

canonically solitaremit characters

solitaremit characters

solitaremit positivity

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Who can identify with these terms?

Gregariable: Literally anyone who experiences touch starvation.

Solitaremit: Anyone who is touch averse //and never// experiences touch starvation.

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This term is //specifically designed// to be //exclusive// to people who do not ever get touch starved, and never have any desire to be touched whatsoever, //specifically// so that we can have tags and other things to search without being overwhelmed by people who are touch starved talking about how touch starved they are.

Other terms can be created for people who only very rarely experience touch starvation or anything like that as a spectrum, but these terms should not include as a whole or as a part any part of the word solitaremit, so that crosstagging will not occur, even by accident.

Please just create an entirely brand new word that is unique, just as solitaremit is unique. I made sure these words didn't exist yet for a reason.

The entire point of the coining of these terms is so that solitaremit people can find posts by others with the same apparently impossibly rare experiences. Who fucking knows, maybe there's more of us than anyone things.

I am EXPLICITY requesting that people further down the line NOT to create a term like “solitaremitspec” or use “solitaremit spectrum” or anything like that using the word solitaremit for anything other than to describe someone who is touch averse and literally never experiences or has ever experienced touch starvation.

Touch aversion and touch repulsion are already spectrum. If you must coin a new term to describe a spectrum of touch averse experiences, do not include the word solitaremit in it. Please. That's literally all I ask.

I am not trying to be mean, I am trying to make sure the voices of people like me are not drowned out in the future as they are right now, when everyone, /including other touch averse people,/ whether intentionally or not, still push the idea that it is a completely universal fact that every single person ever born craves physical touch from other people, and is going to suffer if they don't get it.

If you experience touch starvation, then speak for yourself, and make sure you aren't drowning out the voices of those who don't.

Also, to reiterate from another post - the only requirement for being touch averse is not enjoying being touched. You do not need to be autistic, you do not need to be traumatized, there are no requirements for being touch averse except not enjoying being touched.

I will be tagging this post as "actually autistic" because a lot of autistic people are touch averse, but it is literally not a requirement for being touch averse.

Also, for the record, being touch averse is 100% a disability. There are so many things touch averse people can't do or can't do without suffering that other people do not even think twice about.

TLDR:

Solitaremit describes people who are touch averse and have never experienced touch starvation.

Gregariable describes people who do experience touch starvation.

(Everyone is welcome to reblog this post.)

[rjalker]

actually yeah let's make than an official thing.

Milkweed as a symbol of touch aversion, since I picked orange, red, and black as the colors of the flag based on monarch butterflies, large milkweed bugs, red milkweed beetles, and the list just keeps going.

To put it simply, milkweed is poisonous. Insects that eat the plant absorb those toxins and are also poisonous. This is why they're so brightly colored -- a bird is doing to learn real quick that eating them is a bad idea. It's both a warning and a consequence of being poisonous or at least disgusting to taste. You don't need camouflage if no one wants to eat you.

So yeah. How about milkweed becomes a symbol for touch-aversion?

[rjalker]

new problem: how do I describe the feeling of being touched when you're touch-averse besides it being Bad™

[rjalker]

Thank you Martha Wells.

 “Can we hug you?” Maro let go of Tapan and faced me.

“Uh.“ I didn’t step back, but it must have been obvious the answer was no. 

Maro nodded. “Okay. This is for you.” She wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed.

this is how you write touch averse characters. by having people respect their boundaries and realize without the person even having to say no that the answer is no.