#source: accio-shitpost

[wilburytwist]

Bob: I only feel one emotion and it is anger

George: last night you drunk texted me a thousand heart emojis

Bob: out of anger

[beatlesdiscord]

John: George, I thought you and Ritchie were dating

George: we're friends with benefits

Ringo: the benefit is also friendship

[shitthehousessay]

Gryffindor: Huff, I thought you and Raven were dating

Ravenclaw: We're friends with benefits

Hufflepuff: The benefit is also friendship

[incorrect-starkid]

voldemort: i only feel happy when i kill people

quirrel: wow, so edgy and deep my dark lord

[incorrectsides]

Roman: Hey, do you know anyone who can teach me how to play the trumpet?

Logan: Why?

Roman: I wanna wander around the mindscape and annoy Virgil.

Logan: Technically you don't actually need to know how to play it for that.

Roman:

Roman: You have opened my eyes

[fairytail-incorrectquotes]

Gray: I sneak "my dead family" onto every Christmas list I've ever written just on the off chance Santa's like "well alright then".

[lecfosism]

damian: i’m gay

regina: he just likes old language, he means happy

damian: oh i’m very happy

damian: about how much i love men

[nicolodigenovas]

Cobb: Do you think a depressed person could make this?

Cobb: *gestures at the ghost city in limbo*

Ariadne: Cobb, this place is falling apart