#source: david lopez

[incorrectfmaquotes]

Riza, picking up the phone: Hello? Mysterious voice: Turn around. . . Riza: [cautiously turns around] Mysterious voice: Down here. . . Riza: [looks down] Grumman, laying on the floor with a phone in his hand: I can't get up. Riza: DANG IT GRANDPA!

[paranoiahaven]

Hermes: They call me Hermes.

Hermes: They call me Mercury.

Hermes: They call me thegodofboundariesroadsandtravelersthievesathletesshepherdscommercespeedcunningwitmagicandsleep!

[the-guild-codex-and-other-things]

Guild Codex as a David Lopez Skit

[yourlocalhazbintrash]

Charlie, To Angel: Why do you fight with your brother so much? I'm sure he loves you more than he puts out!

Angel, To Arackniss: Ari!

Arackniss: What?!

Angel: Do you love me, brother?

Arackniss: No! I hate you!

Angel: *Throws a Knife At Arackniss*

[incorrectswr]

Ezra: My leg fell asleep, I can’t feel it.

Maul: *looks at Ezra's leg, then stabs it*

Ezra: *screaming in pain* WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?

Maul: You’re a liar!

[incorrect-overwatch-quotes]

Young Pharah: Is THIS your card?

Young McCree: Pft, n-

(looks over and sees Ana loading her tranq gun)

McCree: (nervously) Y-Yeah you little Houdini that is it!

Pharah: (turns and smiles) Mommy I did it again!

submitted by omega-orca

[incorrect-overwatch-quotations]

Bow Training

Genji: Shoot that tree

[Hanzo pulls back and fires, hitting a passing by yakuza member in the eye, killing them.]

Hanzo & Genji: …

Genji: [snaps a picture with this phone]

Hanzo: He’s sleeping.

submitted by anon

[incorrectvld-quotes]

Iverson: Aren't you a little old for a lemonade stand?

Keith: Aren't you a little old to be alive?

Iverson: I'll show you old!

Keith: *throws lemons at Iverson*