Steven Universe Future Gone Wrong AU Spinel Angst WOOOOOO!!!
TW MILD GORE!!
This only came to my mind because I went on a rant about Steven Universe to a friend for about 30 minutes and TikTok heard me and said “here have some e more” and now I’m mildly addicted
Funny how these feelings of depression just hit you so suddenly eh? One minute you’re fine and the next the tears are coming and you’re trying to keep them back and just pretend like you’re okay for others? Yeah... it’s that kinda night for me... I wish I had my own Spinel... I understand her pain...
So I wrote this when I should have been doing something more productive but I had to just do this. I had to write for this lovely gem that I’ve grown to adore and would die for.
Warning: Some intrusive thoughts and implied suicidal thoughts as well so reader discretion is advised.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82hLvgGuDu8
If I wasn't here tomorrow would anybody care
If my time was up I'd wanna know
You were happy I was there
The past exists just to hurt the present person you are today. That’s how you always saw it at least.
There was one person who understood that the most though, and that was the new gem that had come into your life. At first you didn’t trust her, she tried to kill your friends, including one of your best friends Steven. And yet, you were amazed that the sweet boy was able to get her to stop what she was doing through a series of mishaps and helping the gems rediscover themselves, for better or worse.
You helped him the entire time, and reflected on your own life before you met Steven. Unlike Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet, you didn’t enjoy rediscovering the person you became today, because you still didn’t like yourself.
Beach City was a good place, but the place you came from before this wasn’t. It felt like you were the only person in the world because you knew you were different from everyone, and they made sure to remind you of it everyday. You felt worthless, rejected and cast out from the others and you actually believed that maybe you deserved it, maybe you shouldn’t have even been here.
At times you started to wonder, would it even matter if you disappeared? Would anything you did from here on out matter at all?
You wondered that, at least until the gem, Spinel was her name, had showed the person she used to be. A sweet, lovely little gem that you found extremely endearing every time she tried to play with you. She actually made you smile as you would giggle and blush whenever she got so close and playfully poked you to try and play a game with you. How could such a murderous clown be such a little sweetheart?
That’s what made you really wonder, but then you got your answers when she started to remember and reveal her backstory, her time in the garden after Pink Diamond… just left her there. For all those millenia, the poor gem stood there, alone and waiting for the person she thought was her friend…
Your heart broke for her, you wept for her as she reformed back to the same, maniacal gem that tried to kill you and Steven. Except she wasn’t just a maniacal gem, she was a broken, self-loathing individual that you saw yourself a lot in. She didn’t deserve what Pink did to her, and you knew that she hated the person she became, you knew that because you hated the person you became too after people hurt you…
But you didn’t want to fight her anymore, you wanted to reach out to her when Steven failed to get through to her for a moment.
“I know what it’s like! I understand what you’ve been through!” You exclaimed after she decided that no, she didn’t want to hurt Steven anymore. She looked up, eyes wide but her expression still had disbelief on it as her eyes narrowed into a scowl.
“How could you know? How could know anything like that?! You’re just some stupid human! Worse than even this loser…” She was skeptical, and you understood why, because you didn’t know who else could understand the feeling of being abandoned.
A sardonic chuckle left your lips, “You’re right… I AM a stupid human…” You almost weren’t offended by her insult though, nor were you deterred by the hateful look in her eyes. “I understand… because I used to be a happier person… I used to smile all the time and I can’t even remember why… but when I got older… I stopped… people just… didn’t want to be around me… I knew they didn’t… they looked at me like I was some kind of weirdo… and they just left… I was all by myself for a really long time…” Tears sprung to your eyes as you recollected the way you dramatically changed from a happy child to a moody young adult as Steven glanced at you sympathetically. He knew your story all too well, and honestly you thought that if it wasn’t for him, you’d probably be somewhere else… not with him or the gems and Connie and Greg…
The pink gem’s glare gradually softened into a mix of shock and confusion, her eyes widening slightly when she heard your words telling a story that were making her feel some type of way that she didn’t understand. All she could understand, was the pain in your voice and your eyes as you wiped the tears away even as they fell.
“I know your pain Spinel… I really do… I mean… 10 years is nothing compared to 5000 years but… I understand… what it’s like to feel… unwanted and… abandoned…” You mumbled with your eyes downcast as Spinel seemed to rethink more on what she really wanted to do after listening to you and Steven…
No. She didn’t want to destroy this planet anymore…
And you couldn’t lie, you were relieved when she and Steven were able to make the injector stop from destroying the planet. Maybe you didn’t want to die today, not when you had friends like Steven, Connie, Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet and Greg still around. You’d live for their sakes…
Yet, you couldn’t get Spinel out of your mind even as she went along with the Diamonds. Your [E/C] eyes welled with tears when she joined the Diamonds when they decided to take her in and you rushed over next to Steven when they shared a good bye peace sign.
If I wasn't here tomorrow would anyone lose sleep
If I wasn't hard and hollow
Then maybe you would miss me
“Spinel!” You refused to cry, but you couldn’t help as you sniffled and waved your arm out to wave. “Take care! Come back whenever okay?! I want to… be your friend when you decide to come back!!” As tears dripped down your cheeks you made yourself grin as you waved vigorously to the stunned gem.
Her pink eyes going wide as a soft gasp left her, focusing entirely on you as you turned smaller and smaller from where she was at. A small blush sporting onto her streaked cheeks as she looked at you, and you were smiling at her. The human who could understand what she had felt…
You wanted to be her friend…?
She couldn’t even find the words as all she could do was stare and watch you wave with a broken smile and misty eyes with the tears down your cheeks. Spinel didn’t even realize the tears in her own eyes as she picked up her hand to wave back at you, still looking surprised and confused…
Why would you want to be her friend even after all of that…?
TWO WEEKS LATER
Although it had been a while since the entire incident that nearly ended in the world ending and you started to think that you probably should have been surprised that you survived yet another semi-apocalypse. But after the gems invading several times you remembered that had learned to get used to the world almost ending. Except unlike all of those other times, you couldn’t stop thinking about that gem. She wasn’t like the other gems, not even Lapis, a gem you had considered a dear friend.
Spinel was different. From the moment you saw what had happened to her, something tugged at your heart and made you realize that she wasn’t the only person who felt so rejected and discarded from people you just wanted to be with. You lied in your bed under your covers, remembering the way the pink gem would giggle and smile at you before she reformed back to the person she was today. Her innocence reminded you so much of who you used to be, and it was almost too painful to think about…
To have that childhood happiness shattered by the cruelty from another person, and to become a bitter, almost hateful person because of that pain being too much to bear. It fucking hurt…
You hurt just thinking about what kind of pain Spinel must have endured just waiting in that garden for someone who was never going to come back. What if she never got that message and just stood there forever? God you didn’t want to think about it…
You almost wished she was here so you could hug her and tell her that she didn’t deserve that, and that she deserved to be happy. But at the same time, you thought you were kidding yourself. Why would Spinel remember you? You weren’t anything special, she said so herself, you were just a stupid human.
Hell, you were lucky that Steven was kind enough to give you the time of day. Why would Spinel do the same?
Sighing and wiping your eyes you tried to go to sleep, but then you gasped aloud when you thought you heard something outside. Your parents were home, but they slept so deeply you were certain that not even an earthquake would wake them up. Then again, even if they did wake up, it’s not like you couldn’t handle yourself.
Well, you couldn’t really handle yourself well, but you didn’t care about yourself. At this point nothing mattered about you at all. And you told yourself that almost every day.
So you peered out your window to see if it was maybe just the wind, but your eyes went wide when you saw her…
Spinel, standing outside in your backyard with Steven accompanying her and pointing up when he had seen you. Wide eyes met as you gasped quietly. She looked just as shocked as you did, but she perked up when she saw your visage leave, “W-Where’d she go…?” She asked Steven almost nervously as he chuckled.
“Don’t worry she’s coming down.” He could tell you were excited, because he was very observant when it came to people. And he knew that Spinel had been on your mind the whole time, so he was more than happy to lead Spinel to your house when she came for a visit and asked about ‘the human with the [H/C] hair and [E/C] eyes’.
And her worries were put to rest when she saw you open that door, clad in just your (F/C) pajamas with a big smile on your face. “Spinel!” You exclaimed rather quietly, running over to her as her eyes widened slowly in shock at how close you were getting before you stopped right in front of her.
She looked a bit defensive, as if she wasn’t certain how to react to your excitement to see her. The diamonds treated her well and were in fact very good to her, but it’s been a long time since she’s seen that kind of joy directed at her. In fact, usually that’s what she had done in the past to… her…
“Hi… you’re that human.” Spinel remembered you, which secretly surprised you. “(Y/N) right?” She asked to clarify, and heat rose on your cheeks when she said your name for the first time. “Uh huh… that’s me.” An awkward smile came to your lips, something Spinel couldn’t help but mimic since she felt just as awkward as you did.
Something Steven immediately picked up with a small grin, “I’ll just leave you two be for the time being okay? I hope you’re having a good night (Y/N).” He knew when to leave two people alone and you perked up, feeling rather terrible that you forgot that Steven was there. “O-Oh! Thank you… s-sorry Steven…” You apologized to him sheepishly but he wasn’t offended in the slightest.
“It’s no problem! Spinel wanted to see you again, and I was happy to help.” He said cheerfully as he waved to the two of you, not subtly winking at Spinel as she was taken aback slightly at this gesture. And you blushed a little bit harder at such a thought, she wanted to see you again?
“You wanted to see me again?” You were so shocked you didn’t even realize what you had asked, and Spinel’s eyes widened even more as a flustered expression overcame her features. “W-Well uh… I… yeah… yeah I suppose…”
She felt strange. She hadn’t really felt this curious about anyone, not even Pink Diamond. She knew Pink Diamond, and she knew that she was her playmate, and other gems were just fun to play with too because they were all neat looking. You were different. You weren’t a gem, you were a human being and yet your feelings weren’t that different from the feelings gems could feel.
And your feelings apparently weren’t that different from Spinel’s own feelings. Which is what really made her curious.
“Let’s… sit on my bench… it’s… more comfortable.” You couldn’t get rid of the corny smile on your lips as you gave her the offer, “Oh… thanks…” She couldn’t turn it down though as you lead her to your bench, allowing the two of you to sit down.
It was uncomfortably silent for at least 5 minutes, but you didn’t know what to say. Which was ironic because she’s all you could think about for the past couple of weeks. Why the hell couldn’t you say anything now?! Come on (Y/N)!
“So… um…” You started off, badly though. It wasn’t even a damn sentence…
“So…” And you were sure your uncomfortable energy was rubbing off on Spinel since she couldn’t quite muster up a sentence herself.
No. You couldn’t be an idiot. You sucked it up, exhaled and then cleared your throat a little bit. “I’m… glad to see you again.” Finally, you said something that actually made sense and was an actual sentence. “You are?” But this confused Spinel, since she knew she didn’t make the best first impression by trying to hurt you and Steven.
“Yeah.” You replied simply with a smile and shrugged your shoulders. “Why?” The gem asked you somewhat bluntly though, trying not to look amused by the simplicity of your response.
“I liked you. You were… an interesting gem… and… don’t tell the other gems but you’re actually more interesting than any of them…” A little snicker left you as you covered your mouth, feeling kind of bad for putting the other gems down like that but Spinel really did interest you. This further surprised her though, her eyes wide with shock because even after all of that, how did you still like her even a little bit.
WHY did you like her?
I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone that I'd like better
I can never forget, so don't remind me of it forever
“Why?” She asked bluntly again, a wry smile on her lips. “I tried to kill you. I tried to kill Steven. Tried to destroy the earth. Why do you like me?” For a minute there, she swore that you probably liked her old self better, because she remembered having a lot of fun with you before the past came back to her…
“Is it my old self that you liked?” Spinel’s tone became a little bit colder, yet the sadness was still there. “I’m flattered… but that’s not me anymore… I wish it was but… it’s not me. I haven’t even pulled myself together yet either…” She looked down, her gloved fists starting to clench as she tried to hold back the anger bubbling in her. Not at Rose, but at herself. She still hated the person she was, and she hated that you were here, telling her that you liked her.
There’s no way you could like something like her…
“Of course I liked your old self.”
She knew. She fucking knew it. God she wanted to cry and feel betrayed all over again so she could get away and not have to be hurt again, but you didn’t stop talking.
“Because you remind me of me when I was a kid.” You smiled ruefully and looked in the distance. “I smiled a lot before I started growing up. I was so happy… so eager to impress my peers. I wanted nothing more than to feel included, and feel like I was someone’s friend.” As you talked, Spinel looked at you intently as she took in all of your words and the feelings behind them. The feelings that Spinel still had lingering in her even after Pink Diamond. That’s exactly what she felt like, all she wanted was to be a friend.
“I did everything… everything I could to impress them and make them happy, even if it meant not doing what I wanted… I just… wanted that so badly.” Your smile was still there, but it was clear to the gem that you weren’t happy at all.
“And then… the older I got… the more I started to realize… I’m not what people want… I’m nothing more than an amusement at best.” However, the more you thought about the past, the more your smile started to curve into a soft frown. “And some people didn’t even like me at all… they avoided me just so they could be amongst themselves and kept me out of their picture… I didn’t realize it til later that I wasn’t anyone’s friend, I was just… nothing.”
A small, empty chuckle left you as you wiped your eyes when tears were threatening to fall as Spinel looked at you in shock, feeling more feelings that she had never felt for anyone else other than herself. She was angry, hurt and unable to believe that this happened to you, you seemed like a decent person, why did those people avoid you?
“Those… those…!” Spinel couldn’t help it, she shook her head as her fists trembled, “I… I hate that!” She exclaimed as you jumped a bit, not wanting her to wake your parents but you didn’t really want to set her off any further. “I hate it when people do that… it’s… why…? Why are they so cruel like that…?”
She asked you questions that you asked yourself everyday in your moments of solitude as you put your hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know… I ask myself that all the time and I can never find the answers.” You gave a sigh as you looked downwards. “But… I know this sounds selfish of me but… I… I couldn’t help but like you because I understood you…” You admitted, no shyness in your tone, just honesty despite how sad you were.
“I used to be happy… until life and people started to kick me… and push me aside like something that didn’t matter at all… I know… that’s probably how you felt… and I just… I hated hearing what Pink did to you… you didn’t deserve it Spinel… you’re a good gem… I don’t know why Pink had to go and hurt you like that…” Voice cracking you squeezed your shoulder as gobs of tears started to stream down your face as you shut your eyes, unable to see the tears welling in Spinel’s eyes as she tried to hold it all back.
Steven was the only other person who took pity on her, but hearing another person tell her that NO, she didn’t deserve what happened to her… was like some kind of validation that she didn’t know she needed to hear until right now this very moment.
But at the same time, it made her feel even worse when she thought about how she still hurt you and tried to bring more hurt to you when she first fought you and Steven as she cried. “But I’m NOT a good gem! I had to have deserved it! I hurt you! And Steven! You can’t tell me I didn’t deserve that! Not when I was the one who hurt you when you didn’t deserve that… or what they did to you… you didn’t deserve that at all…” She hung her head as she wept for you, and all you could do was watch her in shock as a sob hitched in your breath.
“S-Spinel…”
You were touched by her sympathy, and how she seemed to genuinely care about her feelings. No one other than Steven and Lapis have ever really cared about your feelings, but Spinel… she understood you more…
“I don’t know…” You couldn’t fight the self-deprecation though, it was a horrible trait you picked up on the older you got and realized that maybe you were avoided because there was something wrong with you.
What if I just pulled myself together
Would it matter at all?
What if I just tried not to remember
Would it matter at all?
All the chances that have passed me by
Would it matter if I gave it one more try
Would it matter at all?
“Maybe I deserved it too…” Spinel gasped when she heard you say that, no, no you couldn’t have believed that. “I mean… you’re great but… I’m not… I’m a loser… I sit in my room all day, watch anime for the sake of comfort, and listen to music by Lana Del Ray, My Chemical Romance and Stevie Nicks, and write bullshit stories for god’s sake… if I wasn’t here today it probably wouldn’t even matter. I might as well not even exist… who knows? Maybe I’m just better off gone because I don’t think anyone would even care… I’ve thought about it… but never could go with it…” You admitted some of your darker thoughts as your eyes started to dull with the misery you’ve carried around the past 10 years of your life and maybe even longer than that.
Of course Spinel wasn’t familiar with the concepts but all she knew is that no, she didn’t want you to disappear. “No! You can’t… You have to be here…” Her voice croaked a little bit as she grabbed your shoulders, “If you weren’t here… I wouldn’t have gotten to hear you say that I didn’t deserve what happened to me… even though I think I did… if you just disappeared or went away I would care (Y/N)! I… I would care… it matters to me! It would matter to me!” She sobbed to you and held onto your shoulders tighter as if she was trying to make sure that you were still here.
She didn’t know you well, but she wanted to. And she didn’t want you to leave.
You had never opened up about this sorrow to anyone before though, Spinel was the first person you completely opened up to. She was the only one who knew about what you were really feeling, and you were almost relieved that she didn’t quite understand the deeper parts of what you tried to say.
However, hearing her say those words were comfort to you as you sobbed and you couldn’t help but pull her into a hug. “I’m… glad to hear that someone would…” You shakily said in between soft cries as she sniffled. “You’re… you’re not bad (Y/N)… if you think… I’m a good person… I don’t know why you do but… thank you… please… you’re really here right? If you are… I’m glad… that someone else knows what it’s like…” Spinel almost sounded shy as she admitted to this newfound happiness she couldn’t help but feel talking more about what happened to her.
“I am… and… I hope you’re here too… Spinel I really like you… I missed you… I wanted to get to know you more… so… I meant what I asked… would you like to… be my friend…?” That’s what you wanted to ask her, despite these other feelings in your stomach that were flurrying about as your cheeks turned hot.
Spinel was hugging you, stretchy arms around you tightly as she perked up at the question, and she looked up at you with surprise in those rather adorable pink eyes of hers. She was a bit hesistant and yet she felt like she could really trust you, so she gave you a little smile.
“Yes… I want to be your friend too (Y/N)…” She answered you slowly, but sincerely as she nodded up at you. (E/C) eyes widening as you beamed and you tightly hugged her again, earning a small surprised squeak from her, but she couldn’t help but hug you just as tightly. Even stretching her arms even more all around your figure like a snake almost as you gasped with wide eyes as she pulled herself away with a goofy smile.
The two of you bursting into laughter through your tears as you actually felt like there was this weight inside of you that had been slowly lifted off of you. This was the first time you felt actually happy, and the first time you’ve laughed in a long time and it was because of this sweet gem.
She did bad things yes, but she was broken too, and you understood that completely. And she understood that about you too. As the two of you pulled away, you couldn’t help but put your hand in hers as she looked up at you, a blush on her streaked cheeks as she locked her fingers with yours and smiled at you.
Warmly you blushed brightly with an equally bright smile on your face.
You knew that you truly did matter. You mattered to your friends and your family. And you mattered to her, and she mattered to you. Spinel knew this too, after everything she had been through, she finally learned that she really did matter to the new people she accepted into her life. She mattered to you, and you mattered to her too.
Both of you did, both of you mattered.
And YOU matter too. To anyone who read this, if you have any suicidal thoughts, or have had suicidal thoughts or even just need someone to talk to about intrusive thoughts or just need to talk to someone about anything don’t hesitate to call 1-800-273-6255, the Suicide Hotline.
And remember that your life is important and that your life matters. YOU matter.
Hi everyone! I have an AU that I'm very excited to talk about with you all! There's no cover art yet, but I won't worry about that until I make a masterpost!
I'm debating between calling it White Diamond Spinel AU or Amnesiad Spinel AU, but I might just stick with the first option.
In this AU, Spinel grows constant in need of love and attention from the Diamonds, that they just can't give to her.
So eventually the Diamonds complain to White, and she handles it by making Spinel anew. She tells Spinel that she was made on Homeworld, to be pursued as a Diamond, and to rule triumphant in Pink's replacement spot.
I'm already beginning to work on content for this AU. Here's a sneak peak of a comic I'm working on already!
First off,let me tell you,your writing is amazing,now I would like to request spinel with an s/o who gets shattered,I need me some angst BoI,(if you're not comfortable doing it that's fine)
Thanks! And I love writing angst, so I was always going to write this lol
------------------------------------------------You weren’t really a good fighter, was never fond of it. When the other gems sparred with each other and taught each other, you stayed on the sidelines, happy just to watch.
Now you wished you had bothered to learn something. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel so helpless, the large quartz standing over you with a smirk, her weapon, a big, ugly looking sword, in her hand. Spinel and Steven were in a similar situation, facing down even more gems. You didn’t know why you were fighting or why they were so angry. All you knew was that there was no way you would make it out of this unscathed.
The gem lifted her sword high above her head with a laugh, swinging it down. You only just managed to move out of the way, stumbling back and managing not to fall on your but. Fear clawed at your chest, but you kept moving, trying to figure out what you were supposed to do. How were you supposed to fight someone like this. Think think! What did you see the others do?
You managed to dodge another attack, stumbling forward, when you felt something hit your back, sending you sprawling onto the ground. You winced, rushing to get back to your feet but the gem slammed their foot onto her back, forcing her back down with a yelp. You struggled to get out, the gem laughing above you.
“Not much of a fighter, are you? Too bad.”
You froze when you felt the sword on your back, digging in painfully, tears spilling down your cheeks.
“Spinel!”
The last thing you heard was the pink Gem yelling your name before you poofed, your form going out in cloud of smoke.
Spinel spotted you just before your form gave in, saw your gem fall to the ground and get picked up by the quartz, a glint in her eyes as her fist tightened. Panic and fear gripped her chest. She growled, poofing the gem in front of her by wrapping her limbs around them and squeezing. In a moment she was by the large quartz, lashing out at her and forcing her back. The gem just laughed, jumping back to dodge her, your gem still held firmly in her hand.
“Let her go!”
“What, you mean this?” She tossed your gem and caught it, laughing in the pink gem’s face. “Stars, she didn’t even put up a fight. What a worthless gem she must have been.”
Spinel’s hands began to shake, rage bubbling at the center of her form. She clutched them into fists, charging at the quartz to punch her in the face. How dare she talk about you like that! How dare she lay a hand on you, to hurt you! And Spinel was much faster than the gem but that did little to help when she would just laugh it off. But she kept going, trying desperately to get your gem out of her hand. She just wanted to make sure you were safe.
But even if she was fast, she wasn’t fast enough.
“Come on, give me a good fight!” The quartz roared, swiping at Spinel who dodged to the side, getting a hit on the gem’s side that barely phased her. “Bring it on! Or do you need some encouragement?”
And the gem smirked a terrible smirk, hand outstretched with your gem like she was showing it off. And then it seemed like the whole world slowed done and Spinel could only watch in shock and horror as the gem tightened her grip, your gem cracking, the sound louder than anything she had heard before.
But that was nothing compared to the sound of your gem being shattered. The shards rain down, shimmering in the sunlight. Spinel felt some part of herself shatter with you and she couldn’t really remember what happened next. Everything just went red and there was a horrible scream, unbelievable loud, filled with so much pain, loss, and rage, more than she had ever heard before.
When she came back to herself she felt numb, empty. Steven was there, holding her back from … something, an odd look on his face. In front of you, laying on the ground, was a gem, the quartz’s, and she wanted to shatter her. She wanted to shatter that gem. But Steven held her fast.
“Spinel …” He said in a soft voice. “Enough, you got them.”
And he was right. All the attacking gems had been poofed, laying on the ground, and in the middle of them all…
She felt the pain return, but this time there was no rage to distract her, no enemies to take her emotions out on. It was just her, broken and lost and your shattered pieces.
She fell to her knees, screamed without making a sound. It was too much, it was all too much. It was like something was tearing her apart from the inside, not just her body but her mind too. And your shards glittered on the ground, mocking her. She couldn’t comprehend it, couldn’t handle it. The edges of her mind started fizzling, her form struggled to stay together. She heard Steven yell before her form gave out completely.
Spinel wasn’t the same after that. She couldn’t be the same, not when you were gone.
Your shards were bubbled and put in the temple. All but one. That shard she kept close to herself, brought it everywhere with her. She just… she needed something! Some sort of reminder that you were there, that you existed.
She started avoiding people more and more. She just didn’t feel up to dealing with people. She was too tired.
She spent a lot of time just walking, usually in the woods where she knew she wouldn’t run into anyone. She distracted herself by picking out all the individual sounds, like the rustling of the leaves, the chatter of squirrels, or the singing birds. It helped her not think, at least for a little bit.
When night came, she would walk through the quiet town and sit on the cliff with the lighthouse, the one that overlooked the sea. This was your favorite spot. You always liked watching the sun rise over the water. The thought would always leave an aching emptiness deep inside her. She tried not to cry but almost always failed.
It was one of those nights. She was trying to be quiet but the tears poured down her cheeks and dripped into the grass below her. She didn’t notice someone approaching her until a hand was put on her shoulder, making her tense.
“Go away.” Her voice came out raspy and quiet. Her request went ignored and the gem sat beside her. It was Garnet. She wasn’t wearing her visor, a rather sad look in her eyes. Spinel tried to ignore her.
For a long while, neither moved or spoke, just sat next to each other silently. It took a while before Spinel admitted to herself that the company was actually pretty nice. She hadn’t realized how lonely she had gotten, spending all that time alone.
Finally, Garnet spoke up.
“It’s going to get easier.”
Spinel shook her head, looking up at the taller gem with pain and desperation clear on her face.
“When? When does it stop hurting?”
Garnet sighed, putting a hand on the other gems shoulder and when she spoke it was with a soft voice.
“The pain never goes away. You just learn how to handle it until it starts to fade.”
Spinel sniffed, looking back out to the ocean.
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“The first step is to get support from your friends. We’re all here for you, Spinel. We want to help.”
They continued to sit in silence for quite some time. Spinel tried to think, to get through the fog of pain and decipher what Garnet was telling her. She sighed, a sad little smile on her face.
omg i understand now. I finally get it. Mind BLOWN
so you know in Drift Away, when at the conclusion Spinel has her memories restored and she reverted to her scared/corrupt form? For the longest time it peeved me off that her gem cheesing turns, instead of do a cool lil flip like Rose/Pink Diamonds diamond. Like why even? All this beautiful animation, style choices, incredible scenes.
And her gem does a 180. Mood killer.
Then I had this epiphany. And now I regret so much. I’m screaming, utter perfection *chef kiss*
Her gem stone turns, because time has run out.
That’s what it means. Her gem stone is a metaphor for a clock and its hands, and all the time she could have had with Pink/Rose, is gone. Forever. All the experiences, growth, the learning and positive evolution Spinel could’ve taken part in with the Crystal Gems and Steven, she was denied. That is the permanence and meaning of time, a concept usually beyond the gems given that they do not age or die. But in a sense Rose/Pink did age and die, when she became pregg with Steven. This is the meaning behind her gem stone turning clockwise.
Five hundred and fifty years. It had been five hundred and fifty years since the game had started and Spinel was starting to wonder if she was doing something wrong.
Pink hadn’t come back since that day the game had started, not even to check in to see if Spinel was playing the game right. And it was a really fun game! It was! Spinel had had so much fun those first few years! Butterflies used to land on her nose, making her wrinkle her nose and giggle.
The butterflies stopped landing on her sometime around the time that Spinel’s hair started to fall out of her buns and dangle in front of her face.
Spinel stared at the warp pad with shaky hope. Maybe today would be the day. Pink would come back soon and gently explain how Spinel had messed up the game but it was okay, they could start again! She might even sit Spinel down and clean up her hair for her, giggling about how Spinel always got so messy during their games.
