WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self harm, eating disorders etc.. mentions of blood, swearing, smoking, smut [ dirty talk, oral; giving and receiving, choking, spanking, praising, degradation, pet names, sometimes Minho is a dick :)
SUMMARY: "Do you remember what you told me the first time we met?"
"What?"
"You said; Always leave people a little better than you found them" he looked at the floor with a small smile for a few seconds and then his eyes found mine. "You really annoyed me when we first met. I envied your optimism and excitement for life. But each time I saw you, I felt a certain thrill. You made me angry, you made me laugh., you made me feel everything. Something about you made me feel a little more alive each time. I know I fucked up and I know I'm an asshole but I'm also brutally in love with you."
Chapters:
[the GIF is not mine]
1 year ago.
Tonight the night breeze feels more gentle than ever, even though it's freezing outside. Maybe it was to
[The GIF is not mine ]
The urge to just ball my eyes out right this second is stronger than my desire to live, honestly. I stare at my lapt
I woke up with one of the worst headaches I've ever had. The events of last night a bit blurry in my head. I groan and search under the cove
PAIRING: Lee Know! X fem!reader
GENRE(S): college au, smut, angst
WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self harm, eating
PAIRING: Lee Know! X fem!reader
GENRE(S): college au, smut, angst
WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self harm, eating
PAIRING: Lee Know! X fem!reader
GENRE(S): college au, smut, angst
WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self harm, eating
PAIRING: Lee Know! X fem!reader
GENRE(S): college au, smut, angst
WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self harm, eating
PAIRING: Lee Know! X fem!reader
GENRE(S): college au, smut, angst
WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self-harm, eating
PAIRING: Lee Know! X fem!reader
GENRE(S): college au, smut, angst
WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self-harm, eating
PAIRING: Lee Know! X fem!reader
GENRE(S): college au, smut, angst
WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self-harm, eating
synopsis: changbin and y/n's relationship, although it started beautifully, hit rock bottom a long time ago and while he fell headfirst into his university life and all the chaos and craziness that comes with it, she was left behind. while he had the time of his life for the first time ever she was drowning in the arms of her biggest enemy and friend, loneliness and self doubt. changbin hears her cries of help a little too late.
characters: Changbin, Main Character, a smidge of Bang Chan.
pairing: unistudent!changbin x f.maincharacter
genre: angst, das all, just angst
word count: 1.9k
warnings: description of being left behind and feeling forgotten, loneliness and self doubt.
author’s note: i think i wrote this someday during spring of 2020, when i wasn't in a good place. this hits a bit close to home and is way too personal but bc i'm a person that doesn't really express themselves that much i found out writing helps a lot so here it is lol
i hope you enjoy reading this 💛
She felt small sitting under Changbin's cold gaze, her eyes kept shifting here and there to always end up falling down to her twiddling fingers.
It had been a little over fifteen minutes, and he hadn't said a word. She knew what the matter was, but she was scared of where this was leading.
"Tell me what's up," Changbin suddenly said. Y/n's head snapped up at his voice. Her eyes stared at his face for a while.
"What?" She muttered, hating how hesitant she sounded. When did things become so uncomfortable.
"What's wrong with you?" He asked again, his usual higher, sweet voice now low and gruff. Y/n gulped.
Suddenly she understood why everyone said Changbin was scary when angry, although she didn't know if he was angry or upset. Either ways, it was scary.
"I don't understand," she mumbled only for him to quickly snap back.
"Bullshit. Tell me," he demanded, arms crossed. And god, it was so intimidating.
"Can you not intimidate me so much," she asked, a nervous snicker leaving her lips. Changbin didn't give any signs of change. Y/n cleared her throat her eyes falling once again to her fingers.
"You want to break up?" Changbin suddenly asked, his voice cold and almost mocking. Y/n closed her eyes, head down. She felt so small in front of him.
Things hadn't been going the best between them for a while. And where it first started because Changbin couldn't keep his promise of always making time for her when she needed it, it followed with her slowly distancing herself and closing off. The loneliness too much to bear at times.
And she got so used to him not being there that she made friends with the loneliness. It provided her more comfort than Changbin did.
She knew she shouldn't have put so much of herself into a guy, after all it happened before too. But Changbin was different.
He had to be, right? He was my bestfriend, he knew me so well. I had no reason to watch my back as I let myself fall with my eyes closed. He could read me so well. Then why wasn't he there when I called for him? Why was I cast aside the same way I was before? Why did he forget what I cried to him about in the past while I was with someone else? How did he forget about his bestfriend?
He promised. As soon as you feel like I'm not giving you enough time, you tell me, and I will drop whatever I'm doing to talk to you and vice versa, he said. If you need me at any moment, you call me, and I will too, he said. I want this to work, i love you so much, he said. I will try my best so it doesn't get to the point where I don't give you enough time, he said.
So when she called the first time why did he snicker and tell her he had to figure some stuff out now that he was in university, with it being the first few weeks of it, and things being chaotic. And she understood.
But then he was figuring things out, sorting out his schedule, socializing, partying, making new friends, hanging out with them, going to classes, having meetings with the clubs he joined. And where did she fall in between all that? So she understood.
And when she couldn't, she called him asking for just a ten minute call a day, she would be okay with just that. Just ten minutes of his attention.
And you can call her an attention whore, that's okay. She can be one for her boyfriend if she wanted to, she had every right to ask for a little of his attention.
But why didn't she receive that ten minute call after the fourth day? Why were his texts coming in so late?
30 minutes. 1 hour. 2 hours. 3 hours.
She trusted him, blindly, she knew him all too well not to. He was her bestfriend.
So she called again, tried to get her ten minute call. He was never alone. Friends always surrounding him, and where she was glad and happy for him that he clicked with a circle in university, so he didn't have to be alone and drowning in his thoughts, she also sat there, on the phone with him, while he sat there with his friends.
And she spoke, fuck, she tried to tell him stuff that happened in her daily life like she always did. She just wanted to fucking talk to her bestfriend like she did the past five years. But who would she speak to when he wasn't listening to a word she said.
So sometimes she would abruptly stop talking and see if he'd notice. He wouldn't. And if he would it would be when it's been too silent on the other side and he would say, "hello? You there?" "Yeah!" She would say in a light voice, so he wouldn't notice.
And then she was the one drowning. And she hated water, goddammit, she hated it so much, she was terrified of it but she would choose that over the drowning she was going through.
The voices in her head too many, drowning her, screaming over her, comforting her. Because now someone was talking.
Comfort was loneliness, and again, she got used to the sweet lullaby the silence would sing. So loud, yet so calming.
Because silence can't hurt you, loneliness can't disappoint you. They won't ever leave you.
And in months, she was closed off once again.
Where she had her bestfriend in the past, she had no one now.
And she hated herself for it, she hated it because she lost her bestfriend. The only person that could ever help her, the only person that she could ever run to, the only person that she could say anything to.
Suddenly she had no one to help her, that she could run to or that she could talk to.
And everything was back on being suffocating. The empty feeling sucking her in it's black hole, the constant lost feeling looming over her.
She couldn't talk to him about herself anymore, she just couldn't.
So she knew he was meaninglessly taunting her with that question, but was it even appropriate when he knew they were on the rocks? Was he so willing to ask such a risky thing when she was so used to being alone?
Changbin stared at the girl in front of him, wondering what happened.
She used to be so full of light, so full of life. And now she was just a shell of her old self. She was doing so good, they were doing so good.
And he knew it was mostly his fault, and damn, did he hate himself for it. He should've seen it before. The signs were obvious.
How did he not see it? He had spent a lot of his time in the arms of the same loneliness for so long, how did he not see it?
He had spent so much of his teenage life, if not all of it, drowning in his own loneliness, his own voices. He had been lost for so long, and she was the one that gave him hope. She helped him without even realizing. Hell, even he didn't know. Then how did he let this happen to her?
What games was fate playing with him?
He had told her so many times how small things she did or said helped him cope up so much when he was the one drowning. His bestfriend was the light at the end of the tunnel.
How did he push her down the same tunnel he struggled to come out of? The same tunnel she helped him out of? How did he turn his back on the same hands that helped steady him without even knowing anything? How dare he?
He saw her in this state before, he helped her out of it when that bastard shoved her too deep into the claws of self hatred. Loneliness her most comforting friend back then too. He helped her out of it, then how did he let her fall again?
His hands felt clammy now, his body heating up as he tried to keep his emotions at bay.
She gulped down the lump in her throat, not wanting him to see her weak and bothered. She didn't want to worry him. She hated the thought of him thinking he had to watch over her, he had to keep her from falling again. She didn't want to be a burden, she felt like that her whole life already.
She took a deep breath as she looked up at him, a small sad smile on her lips and Changbin held in his breath not believing but also knowing where this was going. And it broke the couple's heart.
"That would be the most reasonable think to do, don't you think?" She asked, and fuck why did she have to sound so sweet yet so heartbreaking? He thought, gulping down.
"No, we can make this work," he furrowed his eyebrows, stubborn, hopeful. And y/n almost smiled at her stubborn baby, but she couldn't. He hadn't been her baby in a long time.
"Changbin," she whispered and Changbin hated it. Hated how she called him, how she made him sound pathetic and like a baby and an involuntary sob escaped his lips.
And almost immediately she got up from her seat on his desk chair and her arms were around his wide shoulders as his head pressed against her stomach. Her own tears running down her cheeks as she quietly sobbed with him.
"I'm so sorry," he choked out, arms tightly secured around her thighs. She nodded, her cheek resting against his hair as she stroked his locks with one hand, the other secured around his shoulders.
"I'm very sorry, too," she spoke against his hair, her voice strained.
"No, I was supposed to be there for you. You told me you were not okay, I should've been there for you, I-I should've, should've," she shushed him, wrapping both of her arms around him and bending forward to rest her head against his shoulder.
"Don't," she scolded softly, her constant tears probably wetting his hair as they ran down.
"Don't lose yourself, okay?" She reminded him, her fingers running through his hair again as she stood up straight. She felt Changbin's arms tighten a bit more.
"Stop worrying about me, think about yourself for once," he sternly spoke, his voice rough. He refused to let go. He just needed a little bit more.
"I will," she said nodding, even though he couldn't see her and Changbin snorted.
"No, you won't," he spat out and she flinched because she knew it too but she decided not to say anything.
-
She had left after calming him down but to be honest, both of them knew the other broke down crying as soon as they were out of each other's sight.
Changbin stared at his bedroom ceiling, staring at nothing in particular.
A knock at the door brought his attention to it, his eyes shifting to Bang Chan standing at the door.
The older walked in, a tight lipped smile on his lips as he handed a cold water bottle to his friend.
"Thanks, hyung," Changbin smiled at him, sitting up and taking a sip of the water right away.
"Don't worry, Bin. Everything will be okay," he softly spoke, his hand comfortingly grasping Changbin's shoulder, and the younger couldn't help but nod, hopeful. Trusting his oldest friend.
“Here you go the keys if you need anything I'll be downstairs okay” the landlord said
I just moved into my new place at jeju it's not that big but its comfortable plus its near to the sea and let me say very very very cheap, I take the keys and head in my house “darong-ah I told you those are just drawings of fish not actual fish” i tell my cat who's trying to catch the fish that I drew on the canvas.
I'd say I'm not much of an art person to begin with. I just like to draw things related to the sea, which is one of the reasons why I moved here. “Okay that's it it's time for us to go to bed, come on” I pick her up and head to my room.
My room was a little big it had a study in the corner a bookshelf in the right corner and bed in the middle I put Darong on the bed “I'll get freshened up okay and don't you dare go back for the fish there just drawings okay” she just dismisses me and looks away “whelp I guess that’s my cue”.
“Darong you asleep?” i say in a low voice cats aren't deep sleepers, i take the towel off of my head and- Ring Ring~
My phone starts ringing “where the heck is it” i go outside to find it on the kitchen counter
Hyunjin
“Hmm what's up Hyunjin”
“Hey what sup you settled yet?” he asks he sounded a bit tired from the other side
“Yes I did what's wrong? You sound a little tired?”
“Yeah me and Chan just got back to find the house ruined by Kkami… so I'm just cleaning up I guess” I laugh at that I mean Kkami always ruins the house when Hyunjin’s not there but Darong ..noooo she ruins the house infront of me it's like I hear her saying I don't like this throw it away.
“Give me the phone” Chan says to Hyunjin from the other line
“Y/n what do you think should I beat Felix or not?” the twist in the conversation
What did Felix do now!!?
“Why are you asking me that what did he do now?” I ask getting a little curious at what he did
“What.. did Seungmin not tell you yet?...” okay I think now I'm getting a little worried
“No…. what's wrong” I ask a little hesitant
“The guys in the hospital”
“What WHY… is he okay”
“You should expect it by now … food poisoning he ate too much brownies” blank I think my mind went blank
“I'm gonna kill him” that’s all I said, and I hung up on Chan and quickly dialed Felix’s number
I mean I should have expected it. Felix's love for brownies is beyond this roof and it's not like this is the first time he had to visit the hospital for food poisoning.
~beep beep~
“Hello”
“Where are you?” i go straight to the point
“I- I'm home” he says a bit hesitant
“I swear to God Felix if your at the hospital I'm gonna kill you”
“It was just a little brownie. What's wrong with that and you know how much i love it and…”
Buzzing my head starts buzzing i could hear Felix calling out my name and asking if im alright, but the pain i can't see anything clearly
Deep Breaths, Deep Breaths
I tell myself I take in deep breaths the buzzing slowly goes away and my sight slowly comes back. I slowly get up from the ground and sit on the nearest sofa, my hands were shaking violently i've been getting these Migraines from about 4 years now, and when i say it's severe its severe my phone rings again
“Felix i'm fine”
“Y/n it's me Felix told me you had a migraine again are you okay?” the voice of my older brother says from the other side of the phone. I stop.
“Minho Im fine its okay it was just a small one im fine you don't need to worry” i tried to sound as okay as i could
He sighs in relief “Okay good good… you almost gave me a heart attack” he says
“Im fine im sorry you dont need to worry” i tell him
“It's okay but just call Felix before you go to sleep okay he was really freaked out …. And don't stress okay”
“Okay i'll call him good night” i hung up before he could say anything i just did not wanted him to be worried, i dialed Felix again
“Y/N ARE YOU OKAY? Im sooooo sorry ill never eat brownies again just don't stress out okay i'm sorry” he says trying to control his tears from the other line
“I'm okay Felix i'm sorry i got you worried” i say trying to control my laugh he so cute
“Okay okay you take rest okay” he says sniffing
“Okay you take your medicines kay” i say
“Okay promise go to bed and rest okay bye”
“Bye
_____________________________________
Flashback~
“I told you to wash the stairs why didn't you” my step mother yelled at me
“I had to go to school. I told you, i'll do it after i'm done with my assignments” i told her, her face got so red.
“Don't get smart with me i'll lock you in the basement again” she said her face close to mine her anger radiated this heat off of her, i hate her so much, i do everything and then she takes the credit for all of it, i can't even tell dad, she just makes him so happy i can't take that away from him and Minho he was so hurt after Mom's death that i don't wanna burden him with all my problems.
“I told you, but i think you didn't hear me i have to go study and when im done ill do it” with that i started to head to my room when something hit my head, i started to get dizzy i look behind me, then down on the floor to see the vase broken, after that i pretty much don't remember what happened, everything just blacked out
“She's going to be alright” a voice said, “just please don't give her a lot of stress she has a sewer case of migraines that vase hit her at a very sensitive area its better to avoid things that hurt her”
I slowly opened my eyes to see my dad, and the doctor, Minho was in the corner his eyes puffed up as if he cried “Please come with me Mr. Lee i want to prescribe her some medicines” the doctor said my father squeezed my hand, smiled at me and followed him outside, when he left the room Minho came close to my bed “Hi” he said with a small smile i wanted to say i'm okay but i couldn't “its okay dont say anything you need rest, i'm just disappointed in myself you used to tell me everything when we were kids and…… why didn't you tell me she was treating you like that?” he asked i just stared at him “Dad found out and its okay shes gone Dad divorced her” he said but he had that sad look on him, i know he was sad that i didn't tell him anything, i wanted to say a lot of things but we just sat there, silently communicating.
______________________________
I came out to the beach, the night sky was beautiful, the calm cold air, and the sand beneath my feet, it was such a beautiful moment, i took a look at the sea, sometimes the sea looked so lonely, so lonely that i wanted to go in it and forget everything, i wished that rather than having a migraine i could have lost my memories, i walked along the sea, with the soothing silence.
*singing*
I could hear someone singing in the distance, my feet started to follow the voice as I got closer the singing became louder, i wouldn't lie the song was beautiful almost hypnotizing, it felt like it was calling me i got near a rock, the sound was definitely coming from here, but what i saw was unbelievable it almost took my breath away, a man half naked with ….. A tail.. A merman, I was looking at a Freaking Merman, he had black stunning hair with rainbow streaks, a beautiful face, and a red or maybe a maroon tail. It was beautiful, when he noticed me, he got scared and quickly went into the sea.
“Wait!” i said but he was far off gone, this can't be real “i think i took too many sleeping pills” i told myself trying to deny the fact that i just saw a merman, or something.
WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self harm, eating disorders etc.. mentions of blood, swearing, smoking, smut [ dirty talk, oral; giving and receiving, chocking, spanking, praising, degradation, pet names, sometimes Minho is a dick :)
SUMMARY: "Do you remember what you told me the first time we met?"
"What?"
"You said; Always leave people a little better than you found them" he looked at the floor with a small smile for a few seconds and then his eyes found mine. "You really annoyed me when we first met. I envied your optimism and excitement for life. But each time I saw you, I felt a certain thrill. You made me angry, you made me laugh., you made me feel everything. Something about you made me feel a little more alive each time. I know I fucked up and I know I'm an asshole but I'm also brutally in love with you."
Y/N's POV:
I wrap my jacket tighter around my body, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "I thought you said you don't smoke anymore."
Chan's lips tug into a smile while keeping the cigarette secure between his teeth. "I did." He circles his hand around the cigarette and lights it up. "But you know." He exhales a cloud of smoke. I tilt my head, focusing my eyes on him. He looks tired. His face seems pale and his eyes are red with dark circles under them. He stares at the cigarette, watching it slowly burn. He looks like a ghost.
"When’s the last time you slept?" I ask.
He puts his legs on the bench, bringing his knees closer to his chest, and rests his arms on them. "Wednesday." It's Friday night. "When was the last time you ate?" He questions back.
I take the cigarette out of his hand and bring it to my lips. "Thursday morning." I blow out the smoke.
"Your mother would not like that." He takes it back before I have the chance to take a second puff.
"Which one? Me not eating or me smoking?" I joke.
He doesn't laugh. "Both."
I know. "Well, my mom wouldn't be happy with you not sleeping. Or smoking."
He chuckles and throws his cigarette on the ground, lowering his foot to step on it. "Well, I guess we're both stupid pieces of shit that Miss Erica would be disappointed with ."
"Yeah." I giggle.
I didn't wanna go home after what happened with Minho in the dance studio. I couldn't cause that's all that I would be thinking about if I was alone in my room and that's something I can't have right now. Overthinking about boys who can't figure themselves out is not something I wanna get back into. I was also not in the mood to put a happy mask on and go out with my friends or worst heavy them with my problems. So I called Chan. Like I always do when I wanna be alone but not by myself. He's the person that knows me the best and the only person that I'm not ashamed to be around whenever I'm not doing good. He has seen me at my absolute worst. He has picked me up from the streets blacked out drunk, he has held my hair back when I was throwing up and he has helped me take a shower and get dressed when I couldn't even get out of bed. As much as I love all of my friends, Chan is the one who patiently sat there and helped me when I was crying over a bowl of pasta, he was the one who stayed with me until 3 am in the studio, recording me and helping me when I was practising. No matter what was going on in his life he always took me on night drives cause he knows that it helps me sleep and he always watched with me any show I was obsessed with at the time until the morning. He was always there for me and I always have been there for him. We only have one rule; Never lie to each other. I broke that rule a year ago.
"But it's different with you, you know my mom loves you. You're Jax's replacement and he was my mom's favourite." I bump my shoulder to his and feel him freeze.
"That was a bad one bro." He shakes his head and I break out in a laugh.
"I love how you're still not used to my dead family jokes."
"And never will be." His lips form a tight smile.
"My mom called me today."
"She called me too."
I scoff. "Of course."
"She wanted me to convince you to go to London with her and Will."
I roll my eyes. "God I love her but sometimes she really suffocates me. I'm 22 and she still treats me like a fucking baby." Chan takes a breath and turns his gaze to the floor. I know what he's thinking. "What? Say it."
"Come on now, Y/n." He turns to me. "First of all you really should be happy that you have a mother that actually cares." His eyes twitch with emotion and guilt starts creeping in. "And second, you're not taking care of yourself. How are you expecting her not to worry about you?" I drop my eyes to my shoes, knowing he's right and feeling like shit for the second time tonight.
I hear him sigh. "Fuck, I'm sorry." He wraps his hand around my shoulder, pulling me in. "I didn't mean to sound so harsh. I'm sorry."
"It's okay." I inch closer. "You were right anyway."
"I'm just stressed. I'm so fucking stressed with work, college, and the boys. Everything is just too much sometimes and I get discouraged. Like is this even worth it?" He questions out loud. "All of these boys put their dreams in my hands and this music thing might not even work out."
"Chan, it's not like that. I know that it's in your nature to take the leading role but just because you're their leader doesn't mean that their dreams are your responsibility. They chose to do this and trusted you to lead them into this. You're all in this together." Sometimes I feel like Chan holds the whole world's responsibility on his shoulders and at times like this, I try to remind him that it's okay to be taken care of once in a while.
"I don't know. I just- I really wanna do this, I really want us to make it."
"You guys haven't even finished college yet." I let out a small chuckle, trying to lighten up his mood. "You're working towards your goal and you're doing great."
"Thank you Y/n." He rests his head on mine. "I don't know what I would've done without you. You're the reason I'm working towards my dreams. If I hadn't met you I would probably be living in the street. " He finally lets his lips turn into a small smile.
I poke the little dimple that appears which causes him to smile wider. "No, thank you."
"I haven't done half of the shit you've done for me."
"You know that's not true." I pout. "You're my support system. I probably wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you."
He pushes me away slightly and I let out a laugh. "Shut up, oh my god."
"It was a joke."
He lifts himself up and looks down at me. "Come on" He offers me his hand.
I take it with no hesitation. "Where are we going?"
His smile reaches his eyes and he gives me a knowing look. "How about we go for a drive? Music up, windows down, and grab something to eat?"
I tighten my grip on his hand and take my bottom lip between my teeth, fighting the wave of anxiety that washes through me at his words. "I don't know Chan."
He lowers his face, his eyes staring at mine. "Please, just a little."
I know he's right and I feel a lot more comfortable eating when he's around anyway. "Okay."
"That's my girl." He pulls me under his arm and walks me to his car.
»»————- ————-««
Minho's POV:
My knuckles are starting to burn but I keep punching the punching bag with all the power that my body can master right now. I punch and punch but as much as my body moves, the image of her won't shake from my head. It felt too real. She was so close that my body was burning and my mind became a mess, unable to think straight. She strips me of all the self-control that I've been building my whole life and confuses me to the point that I wanna bang my head against a fucking wall. Why her? Why now? My mind has been reaching for her all this time and now that I have her right in front of my face my body is unable to hold back. She's pulling me in and it's getting harder and harder to hold myself back. I fucking hate that. I hate how my mind decides to give people power over me. I don't want her. I want this feeling to be gone and I want to bury all these memories and thoughts of her. I throw one last punch and rest my head against the punching bag. The hurt in her eyes, seeing how much my words got to her gave me satisfaction, knowing that I have just a bit of power over her as well. She hated me more and more but the more anger that I forced out of her the more it drew me in. Fuck, I wanted to kiss her so bad. Even though I knew what that would do to me, I was ready to risk it all. I had her pushed against the glass, her body pressed against mine and I would have fucking devoured her. The switch in my brain came a bit late but came nevertheless. I bite the end of the glove with my teeth and pull it off, removing it and then taking the other one off as well. I push my hair backward, feeling little drops of sweat drip from the ends and down my forehead. I peel off my shirt and shorts as I walk towards the shower. I let the cold water wash over me, making my body freeze, forcing my heartbeat to slow down and I rest my head against the wall finally being able to breathe. It's a never-ending circle. It gets better until it doesn't. Everything's going too fast until it's going too slow and I'm tired of trying to keep everything under control.
I don't know how long I stayed under the shower. At some point, my limbs turned so numb that the cold water started to hurt my skin. I place the phone between my shoulder and my ear as I unlock my car.
"Hey," Chan answers after 2 rings.
"Where are you?" I immediately ask, throwing my bag on the backseat.
"People say hi first, Minho." He teases and I can't help but roll my eyes.
"Hey, Hi, hello." I pull out of the parking lot. "Where are you?"
"I'm still at the studio." Of course, he is. We sometimes tease Chan that he's a workaholic but jokes aside he actually is. "Where are you?" He asks back.
"I just left the gym, had to blow off some steam." I sigh. I picked up boxing last year and it has really helped me. Putting all my anger and frustration into punching the punching bag instead of someone's face has definitely kept me out of a lot of trouble. Chan's actually the one who gave me the idea. "Care to go for a drink?"
"A drink?" He chuckles. "I don't know man, I really have to finish this."
"Okay new plan," I make a turn, heading to the studio. "I bring the liquor to the studio, we get drunk, and write a super emotional song that's actually going to be a fucking hit one day."
"Okay done."
"Cool, I'll be there in 5," I say and hang up.
»»————- ————-««
Y/N's POV:
It's Saturday morning, and though most college students would still be drunk, sleeping on the floor of someone else's apartment, or suffering from a terrible hangover, Chan's been in the studio since 8 a.m. He's been struggling with insomnia ever since I met him but lately, it's been getting really bad, he hasn't been sleeping at all, and trying to keep up with college and work has been taking a toll on him. I decided to pass by the studio before practice to bring him a coffee. The studio is quiet as expected on a Saturday morning. I knock 2 times before pushing the door open with my free hand. Chan's sitting in the chair in front of the table with all of his equipment, the recording racks, keyboards, and all of the shit that at one point I tried to learn what they do but failed. Jeongin and Jisung are sitting on the couch and Seungmin is sitting across them in the armchair with a black guitar on his thighs. All 3 of the boys' heads snap to the door.
"Hi" I smile at them.
"Hi kid" Han smiles back.
"Hi y/n" Jengin nods.
"I didn't know you guys would be here, I would have brought you all coffee." I pout.
"Oh, it's fine" Seungmin waves me off.
My eyes turn to Chan, who hasn't noticed my arrival due to the headphones that are covering his ears. I place our coffees on the table and go to stand behind him. I bend down a bit and wrap my arms around his shoulders. I feel him jerk a bit but as soon as his eyes recognize it's me, he breaks into a smile.
"What are you doing here? You scared me." He takes his headphones off and places the around his neck. I don't move, keeping my hands around him.
"I wanted to surprise you, I brought you coffee" I rest my chin on his shoulder. "As a thank you for the other night."
His hand comes up to my hair. "Awww!"
"Shut up" I release him and walk to the table in front of the guys to garb his coffee. When I turn to give it to him, my eyes lock with Minho's. He's inside the booth, probably recording. My stomach turns and I can almost hear my pulse quicken at the sight of him staring at me, his gaze piercing me. I force myself to take my eyes off him and back to Chan. Of course, he would be here, he's fucking everywhere.
"There you go" My lips turn into a forced smile.
"Thanks, babe" He takes the coffee from my hand. "Don't you have practice today? "
"Yeah, but it's fine I'll go later." I shrug.
"Okay, can you give me a second, I need to finish this with Minho." He says, putting his headphones back on.
I nod, grabbing my coffee and taking a seat beside Jeongin.
His head snaps to me. "Hi there"
"Hi" I lean closer. "What are you doing?"
"Just writing some lyrics"
"Are you guys still working on the same song?" I turn to Jisung.
He shakes his head. "No, we've finished that on one. Actually, Minho's recording the last of it right now"
"Oh cool." I nod.
"This one's a new song that Chan and Minho came up with last night. Wanna take a look?" Jeongin turns the notebook towards me, allowing me to read what they've been writing.
Chan and Minho? Interesting. "Sure" I lean a bit closer to him, our shoulders touching. I notice that he smells like mint. "Damn," I mutter reading the words.
"Minho had the original idea of the song," Jisung says.
Seungmin nods. "Yeah, his ideas are usually ..not about happy stuff" He struggles with the words and lets a small laugh under his breath. I turn to look back at the booth. The headphones are pushing his hair back, exposing his forehead, and his lips are moving, singing words that I'm not able to hear clearly. Suddenly his eyes snapped open, finding mine. There's something in his stare, something different and I feel like the seconds are turned to hours. He looks at me like there's something hanging from his lips, words he needs to say. His eyes look almost apologetic but still cold and indifferent.
"Can I have a sip?" Jeongin says, forcing my eyes back to him. His long arm is resting on the back of the couch just behind my head, his body and face closer to me than before.
Heat spread across my face at his sudden movements. "Y-Yeah sure" I hand him the coffee.
"Minho, can you please focus so we can wrap this up" I hear Chan exhaling loudly, drawing our attention. He's still staring at me as if his eyes never left when I looked away. And then he blinks, several times with a tiny shake of his head before he focuses back on his task. This very short moment, our exchange of looks did not go unnoticed by Chan. His eyes felt like they were burning the side of my head and when I turn to look at him, his face was completely straight, bluntly staring between me and Minho. I offered him a small smile but it doesn't do much.
I hear an exhale of satisfaction and my head snaps back to Jeongin. "Hey, you said one sip." I reach for my coffee, almost half of it now gone.
Both of his eyebrows lift playfully. "Oops."
"You guys are coming tonight right?" Jisung asks
"As far as I know yeah, all of us are coming"
"Nice. This is going to be fun" He smirks.
"You're scaring me"
"No need little one, we'll take good care of you" He drops his voice, leaning closer to me.
"Stop." I laugh, pushing him.
The sound of the door slamming makes all of our heads turn to Minho.
"It's done?" Jisung asks.
"Yep," Minho simply answers and takes a seat beside Jisung. Jisung's hand comes up to mess with Minho's hair with a small smile and surprisingly Minho doesn't move away from his touch. Chan did say that they're pretty close yet seeing Minho like this with someone feels...weird. Not in a bad way but in a way that I'm suddenly intrigued. A part of me is curious about what it takes to get him to open up like this, and maybe an even smaller part of me, slightly craving this side of him as well. Chan gets up from his chair, his arms stretching over his head as he walks our way, his white hoodie rising enough for his lower abs to show.
"Stop drooling" He smirks, dropping his hands back down, noticing me looking his way.
"It's not my fault, you're casually flashing your abs" I defend. "Sorry, I have eyes."
He takes a seat beside me, his arm extending towards the back of the couch with his fingers brushing my shoulder. The way the side of his body is pressed against mine is nothing new or unfamiliar and it doesn't feel uncomfortable until I notice the short, sharp glances that are exchanged between him and Minho.
"What time are you guys coming over?" Seungmin asks.
Minho has moved away from Jisung's grip, now leaning back against the couch with his legs spread apart and his arms crossed. His face, an unreadable mask.
"Um around 9 probably. Is that okay?" I turn to Seungmin.
"Yeah, that's perfect." He says.
"Great!" I turn to Chan. "No that that's settled, and you have your coffee, I have to run."
"Can't you stay a bit longer?" His shoulders shrug a little.
"I wish but I really have to practice." I sigh, getting out of his grip.
"I can drop you off," Jeongin says. "I was gonna leave anyway."
I don't even have time to respond before he speaks up.
"But you said that you were going to work on the lyrics with Jisung today." Minho's voice comes out low and raspy, somehow heavy in the room. A second of silence passes by until Jeongin speaks again.
"I'll come back later, I'm pretty tired" Jeongin gets up, avoiding Minho’s intense gaze and I do the same as I drag my feet to the door. I offer the rest of the guys a nod and a goodbye before walking behind Jeongin as he leads us out of the studio, to his car.
»»————- ————-««
"Where's Em?" Hyunjin asks as I open the door.
I leave it open for him to come in and walk back to my bedroom. "Already there."
"What's with the long face?" He follows me. "Come on cheer up, we're going to have some fun. We deserve it, we had a pretty tough week." He takes a seat on my bed as I put on my earrings, looking at myself in the mirror. Maybe I should change my outfit. Or my hair. Maybe the red lipstick wasn't the right choice. "Stop looking, you're gorgeous." He ensures me, almost as if he read my mind. I drop my eyes to the floor with a small smile. He gets up, coming to stand right next to me, both of us facing the mirror. His hands come up to adjust his shirt.
"You should leave your hair natural more often, you look like a baby lion." He takes on a curl and twirls it around his long finger.
"That's the hottest thing anyone has ever called me." I double-check my makeup in the mirror, unable to stop the small smile that creeps on my lips.
"That's a better mood." He says satisfied.
I sigh and confess, "I just have anxiety around tonight. I don't feel like going, to be honest."
He frowns. "Why? You know all the guys and they're all chill, there's no reason for you to be anxious. It's gonna be fun."
"Not all of them are chill. " I mumble.
"Oh come on." He understands what I'm trying to say. "He's probably into you and that's his way of flirting."
"He's trying to flirt with me by being a dick to me?"
"Yeah, a lot of people are like that." He shrugs. "Enemies to lovers, you know?"
I roll my eyes. "Whatever."
He gets up and grabs my bag from the bed. "Just ignore him and have fun."
I sigh with a nod. "You're right." I smoothen out my pants and run a hand through my hair, trying to suppress all my thoughts.
He offers me his hand. "Come on, let's go."
»»————- ————-««
"I thought that you would never come." Jisung's warm smile greets us as he opens the door.
I pull him into a quick hug. "We just like making an entrance."
"Well, you sure did." He wraps his hand around Hyunjin's shoulders and leads us into the living room, where everyone is sitting. I make eye contact with Emma immediately, who's sitting beside Seungmin on the couch, with her legs on his lap. She smiles back, biting her lip and I almost laugh out loud. I bet she's had a few drinks by now. I scan the room, taking in the people already seated and my eyes can help but find him first. Jisung takes a seat on Seungmin's other side while Minho, Changbin, and a girl I don't recognize are sitting on the other couch. I stare at Minho's side profile while he's staring at his phone. He's laid back, with his legs spread wide and his thumb between his lips, biting his nail. All of his features calm until Chan's voice fills the room.
"Y/n!" He yells coming out of the kitchen with two bowls filled with chips and popcorn in his hands. Minho's eyes snap in Chan's direction and in seconds, they find mine. For a split second I'm backing the dance studio, my back pressed against the glass and his face inches away from mine. I can almost feel his breath tickling my skin.
I turn to Chan with a smile, breaking eye contact immediately. "Hi." I take on one bowl, helping him. Felix and Jeongin come out of the kitchen as well, with bottles of alcohol, cups, and a bunch of different sodas. "Hi, guys." I give them a quick hug after we put everything on the coffee table between the couches. Jeongin and Chan sit on the 2 armchairs while Felix, Hyunjin, and I take a seat on the floor.
"I like your hair." Jeongin comments first thing when we take a seat.
"Thanks," I chuckle awkwardly at his direct compliment. "I don't, but thanks." He opens his mouth to say speak again but Changbin's loud clap stops him, getting everyones' attention.
"Okay, let's have a couple of shots, and then we can get started with the games."
»»————- ————-««
We have music playing in the background as we take shot after shot. The girl beside Changbin is named Lia and she's really nice. She's a theater major and from the looks of it, I can clearly tell that there's something going on between them. I throw my head back, feeling my throat burning as I drown my 6th shot, and close my eyes, swallowing.
"Okay," Chan hisses, slamming his cup to his thigh. "I think that's enough, let's get started."
"Truth or Dare?" Jisung offers, his tone challenging and I almost groan out loud. My hatred for this game is incredibly strong. I can't recall a time that I've played it and it didn't end up bad, and considering the situation and the people playing, I'm terrified.
"Fuck yeah," Changbin agrees. "Rules; If you don't do the dare; you drink, If you don't wanna be honest; you drink." He explains.
Even though since I sat down I've been trying to avoid looking his way, I can practically feel his gaze on me. And as everyone’s talking about the rules, I gave in to the heat I'd been feeling on the side of my face and, lifted my own gaze to meet his. And maybe it's the alcohol that so heavily entered my system but the look in his eyes made my breath hitch for a split second. With his hair pushed back, his forehead exposed and those thick almost perfect eyebrows, he looks like a fucking model in my drunken eyes and I can't help but unconsciously tilt my head at the sight with the smallest smile. His teeth make an appearance, wrapping around his bottom lip and I can see the corners of his mouth lifting only the tiniest bit.
Interesting.
"I'll start." Changbin clears his throat but I don't move my gaze, I hold his eyes as he brings his cup to his lips, taking a sip. "Hyunjin," He says, and Hyunjin smiles. "We'll start off easy, truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"How many people have you slept with?" He asks.
"I can answer that one." I joke, lifting my hand but he grabs my wrist and brings it back down.
"I will break your hand." He shakes his head, fighting a smile. "Um, I think about 20 people." He truthfully answers.
"Damn." Seungmin comments.
"Yeah, he's a manwhore." I tease him again.
He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "Y/n, truth or dare?"
I narrow my eyes at him, honestly scared of what he might ask. "Dare."
"I dare your ass to take a shot and pass it to someone else." His smile grows. "Mouth to mouth, lips touching and all."
The question makes everyone let out low whistles or start cheering all ready for me to do it. My lips form a tight line realizing that I'm definitely not drunk enough to find it challenging or even a bit funny. "You're such an asshole." I say, not wanting my hesitation to show in my voice.
"Who are you passing it to?" He asks as he pours a shot of tequila into my cup, making the decision for me. I look at all of them carefully, thinking. I can't pick Hyunjin cause he was the one to ask me, so I'm debating between Felix and Chan, cause there are the ones I feel the most comfortable with. I could also pick Em, but it's again, the safest option. As my eyes go from person to person, searching, they stop on him. He smirks, his eyes challenging me. I shift my gaze to Jeongin for a few seconds and then back to Minho, challenging him back in a way, making the small smirk that was playing on his lips disappear and his head to drop a little lower. His eyebrows frown just a little causing his gaze to darken. Oh, how I'm dying to say Jeongin's name just to see his reaction but that would be so predictable of me. I don't wanna annoy him, I wanna challenge and intrigue him.
I smile, an idea crossing my mind. "Lia."
My choice is a surprise to everyone.
"Oh shit," Changbin says with an excited laugh. "We're starting off strong."
Lia's cheeks have a hit of pink but she sends a grin my way, lifting herself off of her seat beside Changbin. I return the grin as she drops to her knees in front of me. I stay on my knees but instead of sitting, I stand straight. She gives me a small nod, letting me know she's ready and I bring the cup to my lips, taking the liquor in my mouth. The insides of my cheeks burn as I place my hands on her jaw. She opens her mouth wide and I bring my lips close to hers, pouring the shot carefully. I hear whistles and screaming but I keep my eyes on hers until we're done. She swallows, a few drops escaping from the corners of her lips, and turns around to everyone with her mouth open.
"Fuck yeah!" Changbin grabs her hand and pulls her to sit back down, next to him.
Everyone's clapping and shouting, causing a wave of confidence to run through me.
"She's baaack!" Hyunjin whispers in my ear as I return to my previous position, smiling. I can feel his eyes on me again, and I know that I'm secretly loving the silent attention his giving me.
"Okay, who's next?"
»»————- ————-««
The game continues, we get drunker and the questions get crazier. Chan's only wearing his boxers, Changbin has recreated 5 of his favorite sex positions with Lia, Emma took Seunngmin's shirt off with her teeth, Jeongin revealed that he lost his virginity at 15, and Felix that he is a bottom. Minho took a shot because he didn't want to go to the balcony and moan for a whole minute and Hyunjin took a shot as well because he wouldn't make out with Felix's foot. I find myself actually having fun, not faking any smiles or laughs and I haven't felt like that in a while. It's nice. It feels almost impossible not to let my eyes travel his way every once in a while. He, as well, looks like he's having fun, which is weird for him. Ever since I met him, I haven't seen him genuinely smiling like he is now. His face has completely transformed and it's hard to look away. He's laughing and drinking and for once, he's not tensed, he's completely relaxed. He's not glaring at me any chance he gets, his eyes have lightened up and all the rude comments are gone. He's having fun and I'm having fun and I'm scared cause I don't know how long this is gonna last, us being in the same place, getting along. Well, kinda. We haven't exchanged a single word but still, I feel like being in the same room and not wanting to pull each other's hair out is enough for me.
"Yes, I have." Emma says proudly.
"Hold on," Jisung tries to speak through his laughter. "You're bisexual?"
The word brings a light shade of red across her face."No" She shakes her head.
"Who was the girl?" Seungmin asks. Both Hyunjin and Chan clear their throats, trying to control their laughs and I take a sip from my drink.
"That's a long story." Felix looks between me and Em with a smirk.
Jisung follows Felix's eyes " Wait..." He narrows his eyes on me and I try to cover my smile with my cup. "No way" His eyes widen. "No fucking way."
Jeongin seems to catch up from beside me. "You hooked up with Y/n?" He laughs.
"Oh, my god." Seungmin covers his face with his hands.
"It was one time and we were wasted." Emma tries to explain but a laugh escapes her as well.
"They made out in front of everyone, it was legendary." Hyunjin nods from the floor.
"Okay, Okay, let's move on." Knowing how shy Emma gets, I try to take the attention off of us. "Em, you ask."
"Jeongin, truth or dare?" She challenges him.
"Dare me."
"Give someone a lap dance," Emma smirks.
"Come on, man" Jeongin throws his head back. I flicked my eyes at Emma, noticing the look on her face. She winks back. Oh, no.
"Please do it, I'm begging you" Changbin laughs.
Jeongin pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue and looks around. "I love you guys but I'm not giving any of you a lap dance."
"But you're a great dancer." Minho teases him.
"Y/n" He gets up from the armchair. "I'm already pretty tipsy, so it's your lucky day."
Fuck.
I have zero time to process what's about to happen when out of nowhere the music that was playing in the background switches to a slow, seductive song.
"Let's go" Jisung yells, clapping his hands together.
Chan gets up from the armchair and pushes me to take his place as Jeongin rolls his shoulders a bit, almost as if he's preparing himself, his eyes locking with mine. My nervousness must be clear as day all over my face, while his expression is the complete opposite. His gaze is playful, darker than before and with a smug smile playing across his lips he makes his way towards me. My grip on the armchair tightens and I feel my heart starting to beat faster. He starts swaying his hips seductively and everyone starts yelling. Due to his standing position, I'm face to face with his crotch and I can't help but look away in embarrassment. His fingers reach for the bottom of his shirt and he peels it off his body slowly, not breaking eye contact. My mouth slightly opens and I scoff laughingly at the sight of his quite defined abs. He lowers himself a bit more, his hips not stopping their movements, bringing his face closer to the side of my own. His hips brush mine lightly with each thrust and I swear my whole face heats up right then. He places his hands against the armchair on each side of my head for support and the more his hips brush up against me the more the rest of the guys scream and shout, cheering him on. He grins at my flustered expression and I turn my face to the side, unable to hold eye contact, anymore. My eyes find his. All the voices and noise fade in the background, and suddenly Jeongin's dancing is not the reason I find myself holding my breath for. His soft gaze from before is gone and replaced with absolute darkness. His eyes are dark in a way that makes me intimidated, he doesn't look amused. A shiver runs down my spine, excitement building in my lower stomach. I hold his gaze as I lightly bite my lip the minute Jeongin's hair brushes my neck. My back arches slightly, my hips meeting his. He takes a breath, clenching his jaw. His whole face, tight and cold.
'What if I push him just a little more...' I think to myself and lift my hand to rest on the side of Jeongin's hips as he continues to move his body to the beat. I turn to look back at the man dancing on top of me, his eyes wild and dark as well but before I have to lean just a little closer...
"Okay, that's more than a minute" Minho speaks up—his tone cold.
"Let the boy have some fun." Jisung nugs him with his elbow but it only takes a single glare from Minho to make his smile drop.
"Okay Jeongin, we get it, you could be a stripper," Jisung turns the music off and everyone starts clapping at Jeongin's performance. Jeongin pulls himself away from me with a grin and searches for his shirt, putting it back on. I force my body to move back to my previous position on the floor while my mind is still trying to process what just happened.
Hyunjin crawls a bit closer. "You're flushed." His hands come up to fan my face.
"Jeongin you ask." Emma reminds him.
"Right," He looks at me. "truth or dare?"
"Me?" God, give me a break first.
He nods.
"Um, dare." I pick.
"I dare you to call your ex-boyfriend and moan his name." His words make my face drop, and my body goes completely still. Silence falls upon us and I feel the eyes of all of my close friends on me. I swallow hard turning to look at Chan. His eyes are hard and his lips turned into a thin line as he pours me a shot and passes it to me, silently choosing for me.
"Come on Y/n, that was an easy one." Changbin whines as I take the shot, quietly, suddenly unable to hold my head up, until I hear him.
"And you called me a pussy before. " Minho mutters under his breath.
It was like a snap, like a switch that went off inside me and my whole body started to burn. I slam my cup onto the table. "What did you say?"
"Me?" He smirks. "Nothing"
That expression, that smug, cocky-ass grin, and the satisfaction in his eyes, make me wanna smack the shit out of him.
"What's your fucking-"
"Come on Y/n, ask someone." Felix cuts me off, trying to avoid what's about to happen like he always does when he suspects fighting coming.
I inhale through my nose, forcing myself to camp down. I don't want to give him the satisfaction. "Channie, truth or dare?" I sigh.
"Dare."
"Take 5 shots." I say, not bothering to think of anything better.
"Come on that's boring." Seungmin rolls his eyes but Chan takes the shots one after the other.
He hisses, eyes watering and he shakes his head a bit before speaking again. "Truth or dare?" He turns to Minho, looking at him with a straight face.
Minho tilts his head, holding his gaze for a few seconds. "Dare."
Both of them stare at each other like they're silently communicating.
"Take a body shot from Y/n's stomach." Chan lifts his chin.
My breath hitches.
Minho's eyes narrow slightly, still looking at Chan. I look between them, sensing that something's off. It feels weird of Chan to ask something like this. When Minho reaches for a shot, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Of course, he would take the shot instead, yet I can't keep my mouth shut.
"Who's the pussy now?" I mumble, loud enough for him to hear.
I watch as my words make him freeze, eyes darkening with the cup inches away from his lips.
"Damn." Changbin looks between us, the tension clear enough to everyone.
Instead of drinking it, Minho takes the cup and get's up from the couch. Now it's my turn to freeze.
Shit.
"Lay on the floor." He demands in a low voice that sends chills down my spine. It takes me a few seconds but my body reacts and moves on its own. I lay down on the floor just in front of the couches, silently. He walks over to me, his mouth a tight line and then, he straddles my thighs, the pressure of his body knocking the air out of me. His eyes- completely dark, staring down at me as If I'm a 5-star meal and he hasn't eaten in ages. My mind is so clouded, my body still and unable to move that it's his hand that pushes the bottom of my top up until my whole stomach is exposed. His tongue appears, wetting his full lips as he places one hand beside my ear for support. I look up at him hesitantly, his face a perfect mask with no expression and I hold my breath, not used to having him this close. Not used to having him close at all.
"Don't challenge me, angel." He whispers in my ear, loud enough for only me to hear. His words go straight to my core and I stare at him completely speechless. He pours the shot into my belly button and a little on my stomach. I flinch a bit as the cold liquid hits my skin.
"Don't move." He lowers himself, bringing his face inches away from my stomach. He grabs the sides of my waist, his cold fingers making my back arch just a tiny bit and his lips begin to suck the liquor from my stomach. The minute his tongue touches me, my stomach turns into a knot, and when he looks up at me - I suck a breath. His lips and tongue move perfectly, drawing and brushing against my skin like a feather, raising goosebumps wherever his mouth touches me as he licks his way up slowly. My mind still hasn't processed how we ended up like this. He holds my gaze, his eyes, so clear that I can see my reflection in them. As he moves his tongue back down towards my belly button, I have to stop myself from clenching my thighs together, but I can't stop this overwhelming feeling that rushes through me. I haven't been touched in such a way for far too long and I feel my body melting under him. He tightens his grip on my waist, feeling me move and I bite my lip to keep myself from making any sounds. Everyone else has faded away, although I can still hear them shouting but it's only me and him as he drags his tongue even lower, just above my now unbuttoned pants, my hand unconsciously moves to his hair. His eyes close and he lets out the lowest growl. He gives my waist a squeeze and lifts his head, looking down at me with a challenging smile before getting off of me completely. My body and mind go absolutely numb, realizing what just happened as he stands over me with the most satisfied, cocky-ass grin I've ever seen and embarrassment consumes me.
"Okay, I think we need a break. " Hyunjin clears his throat and Changbin lets out a low whistle. Everyone is silent, probably completely shocked but I don't dare to look at their faces.
"I'm gonna clean myself a bit." I get up from the floor and basically run to the bathroom. My legs feel like jelly, and I can hear and feel my heart beating so fast that my chest feels heavy. I close the door and rest my back against it. The world is spinning, and I don't think that it's only because of the alcohol.
"What the fuck just happened?" I whisper to myself, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath before moving to the sink. I stare at my reflection- my whole face is flushed, my eyes and hair wild, and when I look down, at my stomach, I have to stop myself from gasping out loud. My skin is still glistering from the alcohol and the wetness of his mouth, but it's the light red marks that are travelling from my belly button down to the top of my underwear that make heat spread between my legs.
"Damn him," I say under my breath. Why would he do that? What is he doing? What the fuck does he want with me? A few days ago he was yelling in my face about how he doesn't wanna get to know me and now he literally took a shot out of my stomach, in front of everyone. I push my hair back, trying to get my head to focus. I feel like I'm going to explode from confusion. He must be bipolar or something. It doesn't make sense- he doesn't make sense.
A knock on the door makes me groan in frustration.
"Occupied."
They knock again.
"Who is it?" I sigh and open the door, but before I can react Minho pushes me backwards until my back hits the sink, closing the door in the process. He traps me between his hands, bringing his face close to mine. His big eyes show no emotion as they stare back at my wide ones.
"W-what are you doing?" I shutter. Completely shocked.
"What are you doing?" He shoots back. I hate how he seems completely unphased about what just happened while I still can't even breathe properly yet.
I clear my throat, trying to hold his intense gaze. " What do you mean?"
A sharp laugh escapes him. "You want my attention that bad?"
"What the fuck are talking about?"
He licks his lips, glaring down at me hard. "What's up with you and Jeongin?"
"Do you care?" I challenge him back but he simply stares at me. He's close enough for me to smell the alcohol on his breath alongside his usual vanilla scent.
"Cut it." He growls
I smirk. "Cut what?"
He takes a deep breath, eyes moving all over my face. "I told you not to challenge me."
"Did you?" I push further.
He bites his lip with a small smile. "You're having fun aren't you?"
I lean closer to him, a sudden burst of confidence rushing through me, leading me to close the small gap between us. "So much." I grin. "You are the one who challenged me first." Our noses are almost touching now and I look up at him through my lashes. "And two can play this game."
"Then I guess it's your turn angel." The pet name sparks something inside me. Fuck, I've had too much to drink.
"Now you seem like you wanna talk to me huh?"
"Still salty about that?" He mumbles.
"I don't get hurt that easily." I smile.
He smiles back but I notice his grip on the sink tightening. "I'll take that as a challenge."
"Good..." I say, my lips only a few inches away from his, before pushing at his chest and walking out of the bathroom.
