【DRAGONBOAT】This past Thursday marked 端午节 (duān wǔ jié - Dragonboat Festival):the fifth day of the fifth month of the Chinese lunisolar calendar, for which we Zhang 章 Clan make an outrageous quantity of 粽子(zòng zi - sticky rice dumplings) for friends, family and neighbours as a symbol of integrity, selflessness, and in memory of the poet 屈原 (qū yuán) who was exiled and died at the hands of 3rd-Century-BC political cancel culture, tbh. So basically these are anti-sensationalism, anti-corruption, non-partisan truth dumplings. They would usually be served up with other in-person customs to ward off evil disease-spreading spirits, given that the fifth lunar month is historically considered a messy bitch of natural disasters and illness (looking at you, Miss Rona). Mama 妈妈Zhang usually makes a vegan version for me with mung beans or mushrooms, but for this year’s remote video call zòng zi hustle, I tried marinated jackfruit as a pork substitute, and I endorse it for President. Stay safe and call your parents, kids. 端午节快乐。