Fruits Basket Personality Types Part 3: Tohru Honda
Okay, I'm super excited to get into each character's personality type! Rather than stating what Enneagram and MBTI type I think they are out front, and then working to provide evidence, I want to start from scratch. What this means is that in figuring out their Enneagram, I'll list things like their childhood wound or core desire as presented in the manga/anime without worrying about making it match any of the types as laid out in my first personality types post, and for the MBTI, I'll try and figure out their orientations, processes, and type dynamics independent of each other first, and then look at whether my assessment of those elements is cohesive for them.
We'll also go slightly deeper into each character's most likely type (in both systems), looking at things like their Enneagram subtype and wings, and the description and nickname of their MBTI.
Tohru Honda's Enneagram
Wound: Tohru lost her father at a young age, and then almost lost her mother, too. She was left alone for a long period at an age where she couldn't yet take care of herself, and had to grow up much too early. She adopted her father's mannerisms (poorly) out of fear that she'd lose her mother if she didn't find some way to keep him alive. She had trouble making friends, too, so I'd say loneliness plays a big part in her wound.
Wounding message: You must take on your father's traits, or you'll lose your mother, too.
Core desire: This is tricky, since Tohru struggles to articulate her desires, but I think she truly desires to be surrounded by people she loves, and to help them as much as she can.
Core fear: Tohru's greatest fear is losing the people she loves.
Defense mechanism: Tohru's defense mechanism is to repress her authentic self- her needs, her desires, even her personality- to avoid pushing people away.
Strengths: Tohru has a wonderful gift for understanding people, and provides a non-judgmental, supportive listening ear. She's endlessly giving and a reliable friend.
Challenges: Tohru goes along with what others want and doesn't ask for help to a problematic degree. She's spacey and takes forever to make important decisions, often because she struggles to look inward.
When healthy: When Tohru is most in-tune with herself (like we see at the end of the story), she's more stubborn and outspoken, but still with all the warmth and compassion that makes her so wonderful.
When unhealthy: Tohru represses herself and fails to acknowledge her difficult emotions, becoming even more of a pushover.
Looking at all of this, here's what connects when I go back to the Enneagram post:
Wound: could be 2, 4, or 9
Wounding message: could be 2, 3, or 9
Core desire: could be 2, 3, 8, or 9
Core fear: very strongly 9, though with elements of 2 and 3
Defense mechanism: again very strongly 9, though 2 is close as well
Strengths: 2 or 9, with elements of 5
Challenges: very strongly 9
When healthy: 2, 5, or 9
When unhealthy: 3 and 9
I initially thought Tohru was a 2, because she is endlessly giving and puts other's needs before her own. However, Twos become needy, demanding, and possessive when stressed, and Tohru is much the opposite, withdrawing and becoming more complacent and indecisive when stressed. This is why I see Tohru as an Enneagram 9.
Nines will often numb out with distractions, like video games, etc... At first, I had trouble seeing this for Tohru, but then I read that Nines can also use hard work as a means of avoiding their difficult emotions, which describes Tohru perfectly.
In the header graphic of my Enneagram post, that diagram separates the types into triads centered around the head, the heart, and the body (which I refer to as the gut). Types 2-4 are heart types, and their controlling emotion is sadness or shame. Types 5-7 are head types, and their controlling emotion is fear. And types 8, 9, and 1 are gut types, and their controlling emotion is anger.
In each triad, one type will overexpress their controlling emotion, one will underexpress it, and one will repress it. Nines underexpress anger, which absolutely fits Tohru. Additionally, conflict feels more intense for Tohru than for most, which is a key part of Nines.
Wing
Nines tend to have some things in common with either Eights or Ones, called their "Wing." Eight only appeared once in my connections, and One didn't appear at all. (This is probably why I didn't understand her character very well at first! As a One with a Two wing, I really didn't connect with Nine.)
The Enneagram Institute refers to 9w8s as "The Referee," and 9w1s as "The Dreamer." Tohru seems like more of a Dreamer than a referee to me.
Truity describes the two wings like this:
9w8: The Nine wing Eight type is a Nine who shares many of the Type Eight characteristics. This type is independent, social, adaptable, and generally more assertive and direct than other Nines. 9w1: The Nine wing One type is a Nine who has many of the same features as the Type One personality. This type is hardworking, friendly, modest, and generally more serious and diligent than other Nines.
Yeah, I think 9w1 fits Tohru best!
Subtype
Additionally, people will have a Subtype, either Self-Preservation (SP), Sexual (SE), or Social (SO). This refers to the survival instinct that the person prioritizes, whether physical needs (SP), community membership (SO), or intimate, 1:1 connection (SE - this does not always refer to actual sexual connection).
Tohru has a strong focus on her "most important person." At first, that's her mother, and then it becomes Kyo. For this reason, I think she's a SE 9w1. (And Enneagram Explained says that SE Nines can often look like Twos!)
Tritype
There's also something called a Tritype, which identifies the strongest Type in each center for a person. I think it's pretty clear that Tohru's Tritype would include both 9 and 2, but her Head type is a little harder to figure, but ultimately, I think the 2-6-9 Tritype (The Good Samaritan) is the best fit, as described on Katherine Fauvre's website:
If you are a 269, you are caring, inquisitive and accepting. You want to be helpful, supportive, and peaceful. You like people and want to find ways to engage with them. Your sense of pride comes from getting along with others and being of assistance. You are known for your kindness, easygoing, and friendly disposition. You will push for what you think is needed but may struggle with being seen as passive or quietly passive-aggressive.
Tohru Honda's MBTI
E vs. I: This is tough, because I see elements of both E and I, but I think Tohru generally prefers to focus her attention outwardly, and thus is more likely to be an E.
S vs. N: Again, I don't feel terribly confident here, but I'd lean toward N. She makes some pretty big leaps in connecting ideas throughout the series.
T vs. F: Tohru is quite clearly an F, making decisions based on her values rather than her logic, and focusing on how her decisions affect other people.
J vs. P: Tohru is also quite clearly a P, taking a lot of time to gather information before coming to a decision.
Type Dynamics: Without working out what an ENFP's type dynamics are (since that's my most likely guess for Tohru), I see Tohru's Type Dynamics as Fi Ne Si Te.
Fi: Tohru is highly empathetic and tends to keep her feelings to herself, expressing her values instead through her actions.
Ne: Tohru tends to brainstorm aloud quite often (sometimes as a way of avoiding her feelings).
Si: Tohru has a strong recall of specific details from past situations, which she uses to inform the present.
Te: this is harder for me to see in Tohru, but I think the way she went about trying to break the curse might be an example of her Extroverted Thinking Inferior Process, as she showed concern for outside rules and laws, and worked toward her goal in a relatively systematic way.
This... actually fits INFP, which would probably be my second guess for Tohru. She does have a rich inner world that she rarely shows to others. ENFP would be Ne Fi Te Si - close, but in a slightly different order of importance and development.
Now, let's check the descriptions for ENFP and INFP:
ENFP: Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency. INFP: Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them. Want to live a life that is congruent with their values. Curious, quick to see possibilities, can be catalysts for implementing ideas. Seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential. Adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened.
To me, INFP is a slightly better fit. INFPs are also sometimes called "The Mediator," or "The Healer," which suits Tohru quite well!
So, to summarize:
Enneagram: SE 9w1 (The Peacemaker/The Dreamer)
Tritype: 2-6-9 (The Good Samaritan)
MBTI: INFP (The Mediator/The Healer)
What do you think? Did I get it right or wrong? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Next up: Akito!
Fruits Basket Personality Types Series: Enneagram | MBTI | Akito | Kyo | Yuki | Haru | Kisa | Momiji | Hatori | Ayame | Rin | Hiro | Ritsu | Kureno | Shigure | Kagura | Kazuma | Saki | Arisa | Machi | Kakeru | The Hondas | Kaibara Students
