I did something intersexist once and i recognize it as such and will share because i think it's important to admit my wrongdoings. (For context I dont know if I am intersex or perisex.)
A girl at my school in the same club as me told me and another trans guy that she had extremely painful and rare periods and she had to get surgery. I don't know why I said it, but I said I still wish I had that and then tried to justify it and rambled and it turned into a massive mess of intersexism, despite the fact I would have considered myself a good ally to intersex people at the time. I still haven't found an opportunity to apologize for it, but I'm constantly trying to check myself before I speak now. Someone's pain, regardless of my opinion on it, isn't something i should just say I want, especially when it's a source of oppression or discomfort
This is intersexism.
Thank you for understanding what you said was wrong, I hope soon that you can tell her you're sorry and make it right, anon.
It's unfortunately common for a lot of trans people to wish that they had something wrong with body parts that gives them dysphoria so that it can be removed (I for one remember there being a ton of memes from transmasculine people wishing they had breast cancer, or transfeminine people wishing they had testicular cancer), and I'd say there isn't anything inherently wrong with having those thoughts, because they are obviously borne from dysphoria, which is incredibly serious.
The part that makes it bad is verbalizing it to people who are suffering through such things. It's not as cut and dry as getting a surgery and going on about your life. There are many things that go into getting those types of surgeries, and they're performed on people who are suffering some sort of chronic pain. I get that you probably understand this now, which is good!
All in all, I say that there is nothing wrong with feeling dysphoric about your body and feeling even envy for those who have access to surgeries that are (at least similar) to the ones you want, but you also have to give grace and understanding to those who are going through such things.













