I just got out of a relationship at the beginning of December 2019. Depending on the feelings you have for one another determines how hard getting over that person may be. For me, I kind of expected it after a week of not talking and months of not being touched.
I knew that the moment my relationship was done for, I would want to better myself for the New Year, kids and for myself. I knew I was never going to make it outside of my mom's house unless this hapoens. So what do I do?
I begin to start over as the New Year was around the corner. I begin to look into colleges and the programs they offered. I don't know what I would major in. I didn't know what was required before entering the program. I still have no clue on somethings, but I still want to go. I want to go, because I need this, my family needs this. More importantly, I think I have the support to achieve this.
After moving back in with my mom, I begin to plan this out alone in my head. Feeling lost and empty inside from a recent breakup. I don't share my feelings to well with the people I know. I don't need them in my buisness and I don't need to start drama. I begin to download the app, "Whisper" again. I have been on there off and on throughout the years since 2015. The app is totally anonymous unless you want to reveal yourself to others and it's totally FREE.
I begin to post anonymously and I never had the intentions of dating or talking to someone in a serious matter - I just wanted friends. I couldn't tell you the exact the date, but I know it was before Christmas. I started to get messages from this guy that I had no intentions to reply to. I continue to post and he continues to message me.
Let me just say, I don't reply back to everyone I get a message from. I pick and choose my battles like you do in every day situations.
I gave in and finally messaged him after receiving such a sweet message that I needed dearly.
I begin to attend church, because I was lost and empty inside. I didn't know where or who to turn to, so I tuned into God. It has helped and I still go today, but I have missed the last two services due to personal issues.
- I will go to next services though!
I begin to message the whisper guy and I proceed to tell him, "feel free to send me these anytime you want."
I looked forward to those messages. I looked forward to having something positive going on in my life, instead of being depressed or feeling lost and empty inside. He gave me something to smile about even if it was for that moment or that day - it made me happy.
Christmas comes around and I'm not a fan of big crowds or being around people who like drama, so I don't look forward to holidays. I did look forward to getting another message, which I did:
After getting a few messages from him, we decided to talk more. The more we talked the more we learned about each other. I started asking questions out of the blue and he wanted to know where these questions were coming from. They weren't coming from anywhere particular, I just wanted to know more about him.
After messaging back and forth and giving him my snapchat, we began to voice call.
- Let Me Just Say, He's Got One Subductive Voice On Him! 😍
We begin to talk and we fall in love with each other voice. We don't talk about particular things, we just talk to learn more about each other. When we usually talk, it's at night, when all of our daily duties are done and then we stay up until about 11 or midnight.
After I fall asleep, he usually sends me a cute message to get through my next day.
"I missed you. I missed talking to you. I missed seeing your name pop up as a notification and how I always get excited when it happens. I missed listening to you. Whether it's you telling me about a show or you just venting during a stressful day. I just missed you. All of you"
I posted this seperate on my Tumblr account as some you know and it blew more than we thought it would. So, I'll share another one.
"You make my heart skip every time i see a message from you. I get butterflies when I hear your voice. I'm at peace when I talk to you. When you don't hear me saying anything and there are long silences its because I can't quit playing scenes of us together over and over again in my head. Me waking up to seeing your beautiful face every morning. Us staying up late just talking and learning more and more about each other. Us cuddling and loving the warmth we create together. Us singing songs as we drive down the highway. No matter what I do, I want to do it with you."
I'll post this one seperate as well, for those of you who want to share it or it like. I just wanted you guys to know where it was coming from.
When we don't talk to each other, we miss each other, but when we're texting or chatting on the phone, it's the greatest moment ever.
Don't get mad or frustrated over the small things, instead, find the in-between moments that makes you happy.
We we're talking on the phone for a little bit, but we each had to get off to do things we needed to get done. After I got done and waiting about another hour, I had posted this. He wanted to know who was it for or what was it about. No one else is on my snap, besides him. I like making little notes for him to see. It gives him an idea of how my day is going.
Even when you aren't looking for anything, it could be right there in front of you, all you have to do is open your eyes. Don't be so quick to put someone in the friend, because you don't like those weight or beauty.
- Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder!
I always like to get to know someone, before sharing a picture. They get to know the real you, before they judge you in a picture.
Of course, I didn't tell you everything about this guy that you might want to know, but maybe I will in another time.
We plan on being friends for at least two years, because we have things we are trying to accomplish. I don't want to interrupt his and I'm trying to get mine started.
We will see where these two years leads us, but we both hoping for the best!
