CW for discussion of slur
The perisex plural system intersex headmate thing got me thinking. We are intersex bodily, and also polyfragged DID and have transitioned away from what we were told we were at birth. As you can imagine this all combined into the weirdest perception of gender across the system with genders and sexes internally varying wildly and messily and basically becoming a council of democracy for and gender affirming alterations the system wanted. But one headmate really wants to use the pronouns Shi/Hir which have historically been used as a slur or othering technique. Now I know there's been push for some reclamation but at this point in our lives we would be indistinguishable from a perisex butch trans woman post surgery, and it's only one of us. At that point is it even ours to reclaim?
They've had fights both internally and once externally about this, mostly due to just generally being our most combative headmate, and we'd rather get a wider consensus than ourself and our immediate friends.
I'm personally of the opinion that those pronouns are open for any intersex person to reclaim regardless of the visibility of your intersexuality, and I'm actually not 100% on the history of those pronouns, but I do think that regardless, if it makes the rest of the system uncomfortable, letting the headmate use the pronouns for hirself would be okay, I don't necessarily think the whole system has to use the same pronouns (we certainly don't, we use he/they pronouns IRL collectively for simplicity's sake, but all of us have our own personal sets. I use he/she/they, but our host who fronts the most is dysphoric with these pronouns and that's completely fine) so if the rest of the system isn't comfortable that's fine, but shi shouldn't be kept from using them for hirself.
