Unfortunatly the dysphoria is hitting pretty hard right now
It's really hot where I am at the moment which means I need to wear a lot of short and revealing clothing which I hate. I'm not comfortable in any sense of the word right now
And on top of that I've been thinking a lot about surgeries and T-shots and things like that and...it's just a lot
A few months ago I was sure what I wanted in my medical tranistion for when I can afford it but now I'm not so sure.
I know I want top surgery. That has never even been a question. But I'm really not sure about T now. Some of the affects I really want but others I don't.
I want a deep voice and facial hair and body hair and bottom growth
But I'm scared of my voice deepening because what if I can't sing like I used to? Obviously I won't be able to since my voice will be different but I want to have the same range just with some lower notes. I want to still be able to do my long and high notes for those more upbeat songs and stuff and I'm worried if I take T then I can't do that. But...I can't tell what's worse. Being misgendered the rest of my life for having a femmine voice or not being able to sing in the ways I want to
And yeah I can do vocal training but will that be as good as what T can do for me?
I just don't know, it's all too confusing and scary.
I mean sometimes I pass, and I'm pre-everything. But a lot of the times I don't and I don't know how to make it work...
Any tips out there from my fellow transmascs?