Also, I saw things about Patton being a dad so: DAD PATTON HEADCANONS
1. he keeps Thomas' baby teef
2. he has a coin collection
3. he majored in Thomas' Appreciation Studies
4. he knows all about nutritious meals and how to bake/cook etc and how to save food one messed up (eg when you forgot an ingredient, put too much salt into your food etc). basically, you would ask him for kitchen advice
5. "Is this a stain?" *basically nudges you to take off your stained piece of clothing so he can fix it
6. "Let me just stitch up this hole in your backpack"
8. Break time at work = card game time
10. magically knows the lottery numbers and slays all bingo but never does it unless you make him
11. disagrees with your teacher but also with you
12. cooking is fresh!!!! nO preservativessss
13. superstitious (when his Team won, everything happening on this day needs to be replicated whenever the Team plays again)
14. Patton appreciates wine
15. "Respect your elders"
16. Will make greens but somehow they suck a bit less than when you make them
17. Randomly has every piece of information you need???
19. "Of course I brought a vaccum to this public bus, let me just pull it out of my pocket"
20. pulls out meme from 2009 "huh ;)))" thinks he is v cool and up-to date
23. sick dad means dad.exe experienced a sudden error.
24. "8923634 years ago, your GRAAAAAAAN bla descendant used this flour brand and their bread was great sO WE WILL KEEP USING IT"
25. shaves his beard and uses MUSKY fucking aftershave but way too much of it.
26. throws tea at you it is flu season, you better be drinking lemons only
27. "I am better than [insert name]'s dad!"
28. does not even have to wake up to change diapers
29. sees when his kids are hungery
30. "this music is so edgy" starts bopping to one of the songs you really dont like but HEY he tries
