#talistheintrovert

[talistheintrovert]

newest video is out now! i am relying on tumblr to get this to the audience it deserves

[lefishsticks]

Being Aromantic is Difficult As Fuck

Watching tailstheintrovert's video about Aromanticism was honestly one that I wasn't expecting to really feel hurt by cause of the sense of hurt/harsh truth to the matter in terms of what it means to be Aromantic & more specifically how the world has literally constructed itself to make living and existing as one difficult asf.

Yes in the patriarchal sense and yes in the amatonormative sense

But more specifically for me, the harsh reality that despite giving all my love to the people I love and thinking it'll be enough for them, that it could somehow magically "replace" or prove to be a better than a romantic relationship is simply not the case and more than likely will never be the case for a large percentage of people. That's not the say that my love isn't important to them or anyone, rather that they're looking a type of intimacy, closeness, vulnerability, etc. that simply fits different and is define differently than the current, platonic relationship between me and them, and I really can't blame them for that. And how it's not that either of us is wrong, just simply different in how we define certain types of relationships and what that means & how they're demonstrated/practiced.

Cause even for myself when I was discovering my aromanticism 1) I denied that I was for awhile cause I did at times felt stronger feelings for some people at rare occasions in my life and 2) I was still figuring out my asexuality at the time so even when I was introduced to the term & felt some connection with it, I placed a massive pin on it since I was only 16, what the hell did I know? But now at 22, I figured some deals out:

1) I enjoyed the feeling of having a crush. On the rare occasions that I did experience some type of strong emotion towards someone I either barely knew or knew pretty well, I enjoyed the thrill of a crush, the heart speeding up when they got closer to me, and the overall brighter colors it would seem when I thought about them and/or saw them. I remembered a guy during highschool who seemed pretty cool as a person and also had really pretty eyes & that type of bright, nervousness that I felt when he was around that wasn't the negative type of nervous, feeling. Or a friend that I enjoyed as a friend and a bit more than such & the type of attention they gave me, it was really nice & honestly is and was pretty fun! Until I realized the second aspect of it 2) The actual pursue of them felt suffocating. Of any of the times that I had stronger feelings for others, for most of them I've been the main one who confronted them first & asked first, with each one having a suffocating feeling lingering next to me when I did & massive relief when they said 'no'. Yes it still hurt because it was still a rejection because at the time I've convinced myself that if I couldn't be loved romantically, I wasn't loveable, period. Gotta love amatonormativity am I right?/j

And it made the idea of a romantic relationship super fucking confusing to me. Because yes, a lot of people get nervous when asking their crush out, that's normal, and maybe I was just afraid of commitment and settling down. Maybe I wasn't doing it correctly? Maybe I'm just too young to really know, and so many other 'Maybes' and 'possibly's', but then that's the thing...

3) I would commit a life with my friends. I remembered when a friend asked if i wanted to get a house together with them, it was a bit of joke since that was the kind of the skit we had with each other, but when it came down to it I was actually, genuinely excited about the idea & the concept of living with or near friends that I can establish a life with long term. Which is often agreed upon that that's what commitment is, the establishment of building something long term with the person/people you love, whether it be a house, a family, an investment, a business, etc. especially relationship wise.

So if I was having occasional "crushes", felt suffocated pursing them romantically, but didn't have commitment issues... then wtf was going on??

For quite awhile, I kept defining and narrowing Aromanticism as an orientation where you don't feel strong attractions of any kind AT ALL and is repulsed by the idea of romance, talking about romance, or even thinking about romance, which is arophobic asf, and was really afraid to call myself Aromantic for 2 overall reasons: 1) The fear of how others will treat me and cut down a lot of people to connect with because of the loose ends of "acceptance" and 2) What that meant for myself and the scariness of confronting the reality of what I *actually* felt vs what I think I *should* be feeling.

I didn't like confronting that I didn't feel a lot of these attractions strong enough to make me wanna do something about them, I didn't want to admit that some of these attractions weren't attractions at all, just lies I kept having to convince and force myself to like some of these "crushes" to show I was "properly" feeling a feeling that I wasn't actually feeling. I also didn't want people treating me differently or act like I couldn't have certain conversations just because I don't personally experience romantic attraction that often than the next person. Subconsciously or not, I understood that a shift would occur the moment I call myself 'Aromantic'.

Because whether we like to think about it or not, we live in a world where romance is misinterpreted as one of the main goals of EVERYONE'S life, more specifically a monogamous type of romantic relationship (a 'fuck you' to poly and single people🙄), and to perform the act of romance perfectly and well without questioning if that's even how you want to be romantically loved and how you express it back to others.

And when you're someone who doesn't even have the foundational attraction to even feel romantic attraction in order to want to pursue romance as a concept but likes to play with the outer rings of it (aka reading ship fics, reading romance stories, and enjoys the ideals of romance), then the difference between how *I* interact with romance based off romantic attraction (or little of it) and how others who do experience romantic attraction interact with romance starts being prevalent sooner or later.

Cause for me at least, romance as a concept is fun to play around with, sense it's different people with different lives making active choices to establish something beautiful together based off the romantic feelings they have with each other and hopefully will continue to have towards each other. That's why fanfics and romance stories are fun for me because it gives me that opening of 'what ifs' and 'possibilities' and how these characters choose and notice how they demonstrate their love and all the in-betweens that comes with that!

For others though, I noticed that romance is seen as a promise towards their real life. Almost like a "step by step" guide on how to do romance and the frustration it turns when the result isn't what was promised or pictured, thanks to the overgeneralization of romance and the demonstration of it (But honestly the discussion about overgeneralized romance can be it's own discussion post). A recognition of how romance is treated and perceived based off experiencing or not/little experience in romantic attraction, and how that can change our relationship to romance towards ourselves and how we see it.

And acknowledging that difference wouldn't make that much of a difference if the society we lived in didn't try to intentionally make it that romance is a "necessity" to life and moralizing whether or not you experience romantic attraction (i.e. "the villainizing crazy cat lady" stereotype, the villains in medias don't experience romantic attraction while heroes often end with a romantic relationship; think Disney movies, romance media in general and its messaging of romance being the most important factor than even the MC's friends and family; think Hallmark movies in particular, the weird shift of sadness when someone expresses that they don't have a romantic partner; the "aww, you'll find someone" and the constant misinterpretation that saying "I don't want a romantic relationship" is a "double meaning" that you're traumatized and secretly lonely asf without a romantic partner, etc.) And no shit we shouldn't let people's opinions and such affect us, but once it's heard more than enough times that you can practically swim in those messagings, you be human and be upset about it, ESPECIALLY when it affects friendships, how families treat you, how strangers treat you, and even how you treat yourself! And depending on where you live that becomes EXTREME real quick and sometimes even unsafe.

I will never be able to express the experience of every, single Aromantic person in the entire globe, that's not my place and I don't want it to be my place. I want to express some of *my* experience and some feeling/opinions as an Aromantic person, and how frustrating it is from what I've noticed within myself and the world around me. Maybe all this made sense, maybe not a single word made sense, but it made sense to me and that's all I'm willing to discuss for now. Check out the video if you haven't already and I thank you for your time and reading this post ^^

[jojotichakorn]

accidentally clicked your username on a post and scrolled for five minutes before I went "wait. this is not my dash! this is just archer!" which is a testament to how much you're on my dash on a day to day 😂😭

what happens when you follow the biggest yapper in the fandom 😭 and i'm employed rn! so i'm not even yapping to my full potential!

[toddisawarlock]

tag 9 people you want to get to know better 💌

Feeling very noticed by @talistheintrovert who tagged me in this one. Thank you for this! I will try to carry this torch honorably.

reading: I just started Breeze Spells and Bridegrooms by Sarah Wallace & S.O. Callahan which, right off the bat seems playful and charming but we'll see. I am also midway through another play-through of Vampire: The Masquerade - Night Road which is this interactive story game which fully counts as reading because it's all text.

last series: Full series? Sort Of, on HBO Max. That series is incredible and I will sing its praises until the end of time. Non-binary Pakistani-Canadian lead. Full of queer messiness and complex, three-dimensional characters. UGH, I wish I could wipe my brain and watch it again.

Also currently watching Burnout Syndrome, Goddess Bless You From Death, and I'm making sporadic progress on Revenged Love. I also just started The Pitt. I can juggle it's fiiine.

last film: Marty Supreme. Josh Safdie's whole thing isn't necessarily my thing but I can't pretend this wasn't artfully made and lovingly performed, especially by Timothée Chalamet. The guy earned his Golden Globe. Also as a bit of a makeup history nerd I was really pleased at how they did absolutely everything in this film including giving Marty imperfect skin. I could go on here but just know that the absolute craft of the film is impressive as hell.

last song: Just listened to this when talking about it from a friend but it's from the most recent Burnout Syndrome and it's by a band from my home state.

The Ghosts of Liberty - Sundown to Sunrise

Listen to Sundown to Sunrise on TIDAL

sweet or salty: salty preferably but I have some frosted sugar cookies whispering sweet nothings to me right now.

coffee or tea: Tea, only because coffee makes me jittery which I don't need help with. I'm medicated for the ADHD and they don't play nicely.

working on: Laundry, ahead of returning to work tomorrow after a staycation week. Also

i'm tagging @sheisraging @signsofchange @mycupofstars @winderlylandchime @graham-needs-a-nap @allegriana @ohnomalora and IDK anyone else who wants to do it!

[tanrak]

MJ YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE ME

WHO ELSE WILL PUT WORD OF HONOR ON MY DASH IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2023?!?

WHO, I SAY!!

^^^me and you, clown to clown communicating on the dash

clown to clown communication 😂😂😂 that’s very us indeed akdkksksks

hi dear!! in my defense, i’m still considering the possibility of leaving, haven’t really decided yet.

but i will keep in mind that i’m not allowed to leave you. that’s a very strong argument! akdkskdks ❤️💙

[sunshinechay]

👬+👀+🚫

👬 favourite side pairing

WaanTul owns my whole ass. I was gone for them so fast it’s insane, but also it’s Yacht so why am I really that surprised lol. Recently though MetheeThanthai from Laws of Attraction had me by the throat as well.

What can I say? Give me one rich (not required) boy with low self esteem and pair him up with the one who thinks that he hung the moon and I’m a sucker

Other honourable mentions include: TeeYuki (I will die mad about the fact that they cut out their subplot), InkPa (the best thing about the series. PERIOD but also I have unpopular opinions about BBS so let’s just leave it at that), NuerSyn (when will MML come out and give me TutorYim as leads?), DanYok (because DanYok okay), KimChay (*insert cry gif here*) and many others lol

👀 what do you think of love triangles in BLs?

I feel much the same as I do about love triangles in het dramas. If done properly, it can provide insight into all of the characters involved and further their growth. That being said, the LI who gets chosen in the end much make logical sense for the leads progress. Though there is a part of me that always goes, why not both?

A good recent example I think is from La Pluie. The Patts x Saengtai x Lomfon triangle worked for what it was trying to do. It gave us a greater understanding of all the characters and helped each in the end. It is an example of a love triangle that also has a clear “winner” right from the beginning so take of that what you will.

All that being said, love triangles are another thing on my list of “hard to pull off, easy to fuck up” so I’m always very weary of them when they come up because it’s hard to tell if it’s going to work for the story or not.

🚫 what trope do you hate and why?

Not to sound like a broken record but SINGING!!!!! When the show is actually about music and musicians (like My School President or something similar) then okay, the singing and the instruments makes sense and I am okay with it, but I genuinely really hate when the characters just randomly pick up instruments or start singing (I already have my most hated scene in OF and it’s literally Ray doing karaoke. Khaotung can sing and I love his singing, but please don’t! I can’t take it anymore!)

BL ask meme

[fen-ha-fuck-you]

♾️

talis, my beloved ♥

Duality — Set It Off

I am good, I am evil / I am solace, I am chaos / I am human, and that's all I've ever wanted to be

put a “∞” in my ask box and I’ll shuffle my spotify and give you my favorite lyric from the song that comes up

[thelegendofclarke]

the entire Shipping Experience™️ in twelve (12) words and eleven (11) special characters (ft. @talistheintrovert)