Hi, curious potential daemian here. I want to reach out to my daemon but I'm VERY nervous and worried about doing it 'wrong'.
Most of my concerns are a little superficial, things like "what if my daemon presents with a form that doesn't actually fit us", but some of them are more like "what if I'm not really the person I think I am because those traits I feel make me, well, me belong to my daemon instead?"
I'm also sort of procrastinating it bc it never feels like the "right" time to reach out.
Not sure if you're the right person to ask abt this but I thought maybe someone in your system might have had a similar experience (and I kinda didn't know who else to ask lol).
Any help is appreciated but I totally understand if you can't! Much love to everyone and I hope you're doing well <3
Hey! I'm so sorry it took me like ... a month to get to this. I'm usually a lot faster, I've just been incredibly busy so thank you for your patience <3
First of all, I want to address something: You can't do daemonism "wrong". This is an incredibly personal experience. Not just how your daemon forms, but your relation to them and how you guys' interact with each other and to the world. Even my "main" daemon is vastly different than the typical daemon usually seen in these circles. So let me address each question as it comes.
"what if my daemon presents with a form that doesn't actually fit us?" This is fine! Thom is settled but he still shifts forms a LOT even if they don't necessarily fit "me". Sometimes he just likes the form and enjoys it. There are also a bunch of different types of forms that a lot of daemians have: comfort forms, confidence forms, forms for when you do something hard and need motivation. Those forms won't necessarily fit you. They may not even speak to you! But form-finding in all it's lovely branches most often takes people years. As some friendly advice, I'd start by focusing on the forms you both enjoy and what you don't enjoy. Once you have a good set, you can start looking more closely for traits that could represent you as a person. And it's ok if you're wrong the first time! Or the second or the third <3 I think I went through five before we finally found my settled form.
"what if I'm not really the person I think I am because those traits I feel make me, well, me belong to my daemon instead?" There's a specific type of form colloquially referred to as a "aspirational form". This is a daemon form filled with traits you want to embody, but don't necessarily (almost kind of admiring what a form represents). That sounds like a good alternative to this thinking, but I'd also like to mention that daemons aren't typically like other types of headmates. For the most part (again, I want to emphasize the individuality of the community), daemons are viewed as our soul or subconscious. They're literally a part of us. One side of the same coin. You are them and they are you, type thing. So it might be just a part of your daemon, but it's entirely possible that's still a part of you too, even if you don't realize that at the time. I've always viewed Thom as much more confident and outgoing than I am, but I realized a while back that I DO have that confidence and outgoing nature. It just depends on the situation, people and topics at hand. I may not always portray those aspects, but they are there and that's good self-discovery.
Procrastination about the right time to reach out: I totally get that. It can be a really weird thing to get into, but a good starting point is just idly involving them in your day. For example, we make a point to greet and say hello as we wake up and fall asleep. Asking their opinions on things also helps. If you're having a hard time figuring out what you want for dinner, see what they prefer! If you want to listen to music or watch something but are apathetic about what, see if they have any input. Can't tell if you want to stay in or go out? Ask and see if they'd prefer one way or the other. Eventually it does get easier with practice, especially since you'll have a better sense of what your daemon's personality, likes and dislikes are the more you interact with them.
Good luck! I'm sorry if some of these aren't relevant anymore due to how much time has passed (sorry again!). And if you need something clarified, I really am always happy to talk about this stuff! Daemonism has been a massive part of my life for over half my life and I always love talking about it <3
