xingqiu: you know, my family makes very ornate umbrellas that block neither rain nor shine. their only purpose is decoration. *dramatic sigh* if only i has something that actually did block this pouring rain-
wanderer: you’re not using my hat as an umbrella. end of discussion.
nahida: but if we stay in the rain too long, mushrooms will start growing on our heads!! :ᗡ
wanderer: i’m- ... fairly certain that only happens to you, lesser lord kusanali..
xingqiu: LESSER LORD WHO??
kaeya: cryo is always more far effective in the rain. this is going to- what are you three doing.
*xingqiu and nahida hugging wanderer so that they are under his hat*
the boys teasing Hanamiya for liking a girl one that you wrote earlier,,,, IT IS AMAZING,,,, SO CUTE,,, I LOVE IT,,, CHEF KISS MUA ,,, will there 👉🏻👈🏻 will there be a continuation where the boys find out he likes the girl and tried to help him get her
p1 here
Hara says Hanamiya likes you.
Hara also says that if you buried a berry underground, it would become a tuber and grow into one big berry with roots, which just goes to show that no one should listen to a word that guy says.
And, given that Hanamiya knows that that’s not how berries work, and especially given that Hanamiya has no interest in recalling the moment he called you cute (you, a mere acquaintance - no, less than that, a fellow student, or, even less familiar: a stranger who just so happens to attend the same school and the same classes as he does), Hanamiya elects to ignore every single word that comes out of Hara’s mouth.
The problem really begins when Matsumoto, a guy who makes a point of never kidding, strolls into practice one afternoon and says, “you’re not dating that girl in chemistry are you, Hanamiya?”
Hanamiya pauses from where he’s been jogging on the spot. “Are you kidding? What the fuck are you on about now?”
Yamazaki sniggers. With an impish grin, He passes a ball to Hara.
“It’s not that deep,” sighs Matsumoto, rolling his eyes, “I just heard her talking to her friends about you. The way she was talking - it sounded like the two of you were together.”
“Well, we’re not”.
The way Hanamiya frowns as he says that, looking distinctly preteen and faintly pink in the cheeks, makes even Matsumoto struggle to contain his smile. Everyone sees the way his lips just part, then slam shut, as he fights the impulse to ask what you had been saying.
And things get worse for the captain. Furuhashi catches him watching you during gym class - the excuse is that he’s pondering the feasibility of a female basketball team. One evening as Seto prepares to walk home with Hanamiya, he becomes privy to you thanking the man for his help in the most recent chemistry assignment. Surprising for two reasons, in Seto’s mind: a) how stupid were you to need help with that assignment, and b) since when had Hanamiya, king of enjoying people struggle over things he finds easy, been helping others with homework? It can’t be that you’ve blackmailed him, that much is for sure. So it has to be…
“Love,” declares Hara.
Matsumoto rolls his eyes - against his will, he is attending this If-Hanamiya-Gets-A-Girlfriend-He’ll-Stop-Making-Zaki&Me-Do-Laps meeting. His misfortune is in having done some group work with you last year, and thus in having your phone number.
“It’s a crush,” he corrects.
“Who cares? It’s enough for us to have some fun with.”
…That’s the level of care with which Hara has decided to approach the delicate operation of getting Hanamiya a girlfriend.
Hi okay so I think I got something on team interactions. Which one is lowkey jealous of who but would never admit it?
Yamazaki’s jealous of Hanamiya for many reasons - for example, how Hanamiya has no godawful annoying siblings, and also how close is with his mother (Yamazaki has a more argumentative relationship with his own mother) (see here for further comments on this). But, more than the family issue, Yamazaki’s jealous of Hanamiya’s confidence, his swagger, the way he gets away with pretty much anything. He wants to be as invincible and carefree as Hanamiya seems to be.
Hara’s similar to Yamazaki in that he’s also jealous of Hanamiya’s family life - though, not as jealous as Yamazaki, as Hara gets along with his brothers pretty well. But, Hara’s also mildly jealous that Seto could get good grades without doing any work at all; not that Hara does that much work (or is unintelligent), and not that Seto slacks off working, “but still”, he’ll whine, “a big brain is wasted on you.” (Hara thinks big brains ought to be reserved for the wicked and/or the funny.)
Furuhashi’s jealous of Hara, in particular, how easily Hara gets along with people. Hara’s the type of person who can start up a conversation with a stranger, who smiles effortlessly and rarely means it - whereas Furuhashi, when around people he doesn’t know, becomes awkward and therefore cold, even when he doesn’t mean to be.
Matsumoto’s jealous of the way that Seto fits in so comfortably in the team, of how the team is designed around him. After all, Matsumoto’s time on the court during matches is mostly dictated by how long Seto’s going to be playing, how much Seto wants to sleep, etc. Matsumoto just wants to get a say in the matter one time too.
Seto’s jealous of how Matsumoto fits into the team (I know, I know, the irony). Don’t get me wrong, he enjoys being part of the spider’s web and talking tactics with Hanamiya, but sometimes he’d appreciate being able to chill a bit and play basketball in matches without having to be part of the spider’s web. Plus, he knows he’s not the best player on the team, and he doesn’t really care, but he would appreciate not hearing people wonder why he’s coming on after Matsumoto when Matsumoto’s ‘clearly the better player’.
happy birthday to everyone’s favourite buzzcut boy!!
doesn’t have the best grades academically but works hard to make up for it
either sleeps in a foetal position or like a starfish, splayed out across his back: no in between
he had his growth spurt pretty early, so for most of his young life he was convinced he’d be remain the tallest guy around and that 6ft would be a breeze
consequently, being stuck at 5’10 was a sore spot for a while, but it doesn’t bother him anymore
(besides, despite being the same height as hanamiya, matsumoto’s never teased about it like hanamiya is sometimes)
what is a bit of a sore spot is that he spends more time on the bench that most of his teammates
hence, he’s the only member of the team who doesn’t get irritated if seto doesn’t show up for a match, cause the more time on the court, the better, in matsumoto’s eyes
this also means that he’s almost always up for street ball with whoever’s available
people presume he doesn’t enjoy basketball much, cause he’s always frowning when playing, but really that’s just his focused face
one of the biggest basketball nerds on the kiridai team, if not the biggest
quite likes jazz and hip hop
yamazaki also likes hip hop, so when it’s just the two of them practicing, there’s always some good tunes playing
out of his teammates, matsumoto spends the most time with furuhashi (his teammate of choice during class hours/school time, also just hanging out after school), and then yamazaki (usually for basketball or sometimes playing video games together)
yamazaki and he usually play violent war game type stuff, but have been known to dabble in otome games, supposedly as a joke, but you can’t tell me they didn’t end up like this scene of gekkan shoujo [x]
he does have several friends outside of the team, but over time, he’s been spending less time with them
and on a completely unrelated note
on his wedding day, when he watches his s/o go down the isle, his face is still stern-looking
but is also accompanied by rivers of tears going down his cheeks
(matsumoto may look like Tough Guy 101, but he’s also a massive romantic)
(not those two traits are opposites to begin with. that would be manly-romantic erasure.)
Headcanons or a scenario maybe, of the kiridai boys protecting/defending each other? Because people are going to be mean to them and I just want to see them be friends
Right so
actually before i talk about high school, i just wanna say that hara and yamazaki (who in my mind are childhood friends, as you all probably know) have been defending each other for ages
e.g. in middle school, though neither of them were ever bullied, they had a brilliant love/hate relationship, based off the logic that “i can bully you but no one else can”
so imagine that they get in a fight (cause you know hara was always trying to rile zaki up, and middle school zaki had even less self restraint), maybe zaki storms out of the room
some snotty-nosed lil “i wanna be friends with hara” loser dares to mock how ‘badly’ zaki fights, to which hara responds with beating that guy up as well
the two always had each other’s back
tbf that applies to high school kiridai too
in short, the boys just have an instinct to lie for one another - if anyone asks why seto’s missing from a lesson without a reason, etc - but, at the same time, they can never lie to one another, it’s always too obvious
but enough of abstract concepts, the people want real ✨team interactions✨
anyway
realistically, there’s not a lot of situations where they need to protect each other, given that they have a pretty comfortable situation in school
no one has the audacity to try bully them, including the teachers, thanks to Mr Makoto’s lil disciplinary committee making sure that no discipline whatsoever happens
yeah come to think of it, makoto’s the big protector man huh
imagine even daring to bring up that, i dunno, furuhashi threatened to kill a fellow student, at the disciplinary committee meeting
hanamiya sat back on his chair, grinning, like: sorry?
dumb but bold (sticking up for a friend) first year: i have it on very good authority that 2nd year furuhashi kojiro held a knife to my friend’s throat after my friend accidentally bumped into him.
hanamiya: i have it on better authority that that’s bullshit. so, moving on...
first year has no further reply cause one of the older members gives them a very warning look
the best thing about all is this that hanamiya doesn’t even need to threaten people anymore; all the first years get warned by people who’ve previously had associations with hanamiya, and so it goes
let’s summarise a bit:
hanamiya will never defend his buddies to someone else, in the sense that he won’t say anything nice about them (except he probably had to break this rule to explain, to the others, why he was bringing seto onto the team). but he is the constant protector, allowing them to run free as the wind
matsumoto doesn’t tend to say anything positive about his teammates (especially not about hanamiya, which is a bit sneaky - cause he’s also benefiting from the disciplinary committee situation), but, occasionally, if someone in one of his not-basketball circles is criticising them (particularly if they’re criticising zaki), he’ll let out a hmmph or even a “you don’t know what you’re talking about. fuck off”
seto makes everyone sound good in front of their parents. he’s as good as hanamiya when it comes to interacting with people’s parents, except, when hanamiya compliments you to your mother, you know he’s fucking with you. when seto does it, it takes you by surprise. it almost sounds a lil sincere in his gruff way of acknowledging that you don’t suck :’)
zaki is a very intense defender of his teammates, and he can and will get physical. but alas no one really criticises his teammates around him as a result.
the last time it happened, was that a bunch of smart students were walking past him complaining about seto (“i’ve seen him sleeping in lessons so there’s no way he got the top mark for this exam without cheating”) and mr. delinquent zaki, tieless, was already rolling up his sleeves, like “the fuck did you just say?”
then hara’s also a “the fuck did you just say” kinda guy, but in a more sing-songy way, like “hmmm? what was that? maybe i didn’t hear you right but i thought you just said my captain was a talentless fraud.”
this is said whilst approaching two gossiping basketball playing first years (from a different school) from behind, hara popping his head in between theirs, his arms around their shoulders, like
“doesn’t deserve to be a considered an uncrowned king, huh?”
and then, when he walks away, the first year’s probably have bloodied faces
(hara has a heavy dose of imayoshi energy in him - a tentacle nightmare)
furuhashi, finally, is a bit quieter. he’s prefers to walk into people, trip them over, etc, rather than the whole big confrontation
but if he hears someone, perhaps a certain student at the end of the day, walking with his friends, commenting on, for example, how he has ancient literature with hara, and how hara acts so tough but he’s really just a nerd with a shitty dye job
well furu can’t stand for that (:
grabs that guy, shoves him against the wall, pulls his penknife out (yeah furu carries a penknife around with him for pruning and whatnot, the ‘whatnot’ referring to situations like this) and presses it against the guy’s neck
the dude in front of his is shaking, seriously shaking
and furu’s just there with the knife and a completely blank gaze.
when his victim’s eyes go moist, the knife gets pressed a little harder against his neck, and furuhashi says, with absolutely no emotion,
hara figures that, cause, on valentine’s day, he shared some of his chocolates with you (in actuality, ‘chocolates’ refers to a half of a chocolate with hara’s bite marks in it’), you should therefore give him all of the chocolates you get
what he doesn’t realise is that you don’t get any chocolates - anyone who might have given some to you was probably scared off by the kiridai lads prowling around
it’s not like they’re possessive of you; it’s just that hanamiya was hoping he’d catch sight of you getting chocolates so he could bully any dude who tried to give chocolates to you, zaki stayed close to you the whole day because he had chocolates he wanted to give you except he was waiting for hanamiya to not be around, and furuhashi’s face just looks like that
anyway ultimately zaki finishes off the chocolates himself before he gets the chance to give any of them to you
blame the nerves - it doesn’t help when your best buddy keeps saying shit like, “man, manager-chan really needs to get some chocolates or i’m going to be skin and bones by the end of the day” - cause who knows whether hara knows that zaki had chocolates for you, and was only saying this stuff because he knew it would encourage zaki to take him to the local patisserie at the end of the day to try and keep hara as far away from you as possible
and of course zaki pays for ridiculously large slice of cake that hara buys
but they share it, which is how hara explains the fact that zaki’s the only one who pays on these lil platonic dates of theirs
seto and furuhashi walk to the station together, maybe have a brief conversation about “people just keep making up holidays these days”, but most of the stroll is silent and also very quick paced, so any onlooker would be convinced that the two of them hate each other
either that or that they’ve both got chocolates for each other, but are too much the macho emotionless man to reveal that fact
(sadly not the case, but pay me and i’ll go into depth on their relationship)
in the meantime, you go home with hanamiya - an opportunistic idea because his mother made chocolates for hanamiya to give to someone, except hanamiya’s a dick who would never give chocolates to a girl and especially not home-made ones, aka she gives you all the chocolates and scolds hanamiya for being so arrogant and selfish and you join in too because his mother isn’t aware as to just how many chocolates he had been given on valentine’s day whose senders will never receive even a penny back
mr. “white day is such a lovely day to bully people” has become mr. “i am being bullied on white day and because of this i will grouch at manager-chan all day tomorrow until seto makes a comment on ‘what happened at your place last night’, hara laughs obnoxiously, and then everyone is forced to do extra laps after practice”
so, all in all, it’s a lovely evening despite the only marginally successful white day
(oh yeah and cause i just realised i missed him out: matsumoto gives some chocolates to his crush, who had given him chocolates on valentine’s day, and it’s a pleasant albeit awkward ordeal, cause both of them are still acting like “oh yeah i found these chocolates the other day, and figured i should give them to you just because,,, i definitely didn’t spend a day trying to decide which flavour you’d like most”)
kiridai office AU, please add as many of the other trashies as you please. if you wanna throw some xReader stuff in there too then go for it, but honestly the way you write team dynamics is too fun
alright lads, salaryman!au time
for starters, seto’s the manager, and he doesn’t give a shit about his job
picture this:
each morning he walks in, around an hour after everyone else has gotten to work, checks the sales
“well done to no one”
walks right back out
everyone thinks he got the job due to his family’s connections, since all they ever see of him is his sleeping in his office
and they’re not entirely wrong, but he’s also a hella good salesman (hence how he’s managed to keep the job)
sure, he doesn’t often bother getting sales, but he’s a completely different person in meetings: he scrubs up hella well, and he has Business Speak TM down to a T
when he does get a sale, it’s always massive
in this way, he’s kinda similar to hanamiya - who also prefers to have fewer, but larger, sales
except hanamiya looks and acts like a sleazy salesman TM; you take one glance at that man, and you know he’s raking in a massive fucking bonus
that’s the reason he’s still in this job, that and because convincing companies to make bad financial choices is surprisingly entertaining
anyway, during the working day, he’s either working on his own or talking to seto
he’s very much seto’s righthand man, and, like seto, he rarely goes along to post-work hang outs in the local pub
they’re two very intimidating men
also cause hanamiya phrases his emails like he thinks you’re the biggest fucking idiot in the world, but also like he has the yakuza on speed dial if you ever dare get offended
and seto just doesn’t bother replying to emails, and when he does he just sounds very pissed off at having had to answer them
(that’s another reason they get along: he know what the other’s thinking intuitively, so they don’t have to go through the whole email/phone call/meeting schpiel)
yeah seto sucks as a manager
you could have only 32 hours left to live, message him asking for a day off, explaining your situation
and he’ll just be like, “do i look like i give a shit?”
it sounds like he thinks you should be dedicating your final moments to capitalism, when, in reality, he really just doesn’t give a shit
his employees could not show up to work for a week, and he’d just shrug his shoulders
hell he might not even notice
it’s just that he looks so intimidating when he’s just woken up, that everyone thinks he’s furious and/or super serious
the only person that’s never bothered by this, apart from hanamiya, is furuhashi
sweet, dear furuhashi who’s the role model employee
he’s never late, he attends colleague get togethers (even though he doesn’t talk much during them), he’s never sick or sorry
and, every day, he’s got such an neat bento prepared, which makes everyone think he must be married
even though, in reality, organising these bentos is an important part of his morning routine
it’s kinda like meditation, placing down the tiny strips of seaweed onto the sausage octopus, so it has a tiny little smiley face
hence he really doesn’t get along with hara
cause hara’s a habitual lunch stealer; he hasn’t brought in a lunch for himself since his second day here
he just can’t help himself
he’s a monkey in a zoo, bored out of his mind, and the lunchboxes (and their fuming owners) are only source of enrichment
even if his colleagues spend an hour hiding their lunches, even if furuhashi pointedly sharpens his penknife, as he sits at the desk opposite hara’s, nothing stops him
it’s gotten to the point where there’s a betting pool over him, which involves: a) who’ll lose their lunch today, and b) how long it’ll take hara to find it
despite this though, people do really like hara
if there’s office drama or gossip, he’s bound to know - and he’s never too busy to talk to you, because he fucking hates the job
(he’s only working here because his parents cut him off, and, thanks to how easily people get along with him, he’s a good old salesman)
oh yeah and he gets the gossip from hanamiya
cause hanamiya, as the no1 salesperson and as seto’s righthand man, knows all about drama in other branches, which he shares with hara
they’re very good buddies but they only ever meet up in secrecy
being seen talking to hara (and talking about office gossip at that) would ruin hanamiya’s entire persona
anyway, the only person who doesn’t like talking to hara about who has the hots for who, and who is going to get fired soon, etc, is yamazaki
this is because, whenever he’s not got anyone else, hara entertains himself with chatting to zaki
but zaki just wants to work, man
he’s shit at sales because he’s so awkward talking to people, so his bonuses are nothing compared to his colleagues’
but unless he starts earning more, he’s never going to be able to live out the dream of having a partner waiting for him at home, and a couple kids,
and they’ll all say “okaeri, otou-san!” when he comes home
and, on the weekends, he’ll take them out on camping trips like his own father did (once), and-
insert hara talking zaki’s ear off
how’s a man supposed to daydream about his future life as the Reliable Husband, Dad, and Salaryman
when hara starts poking him if he ignores the tale of how some new secretary was seen with one of the heads of the company the other day at some high brow hotel
anyway, that just leaves matsumoto
matsumoto’s somewhat better than zaki at sales, but not much better, and it really depends on the month, and on if hara’s helping zaki out so he’ll not lose his bosom pal
hmm what can we say about matsumoto
man has a hella messy desk, and glares if anyone ever points it out
he walks into seto’s office when seto’s asleep, and wakes him up without caring that people have been fired over this before
his emails are hella passive aggressive; we’re talking “as previously stated”, “not sure if you received my previous email”, “please see below”
also he ends them with ‘warm regards’, never ‘kind regards’, and, more often than not, just ‘regards’
but he’s not half bad to talk to, after work, when he’s drunk enough
cause this man Drinks Drinks
but, i mean, to be fair
if you had to listen to hara talking zaki’s ear off loudly enough that he’s thus talking your ear off too, you’d be close to losing your mind too
