In my mind Bruce was a low 21 when he adopted Dick. And Dick was 9. Bruce was a freaking teendad in my opinion,
The man had no idea what he was doing, how he was gonna do it, but he knew he had to take care of this kid because he knew he'd be in worse places otherwise.
Bruce did his best.
He did his freaking best even though he had no idea what he was doing. He lost his own parents so young that he knew he couldn't copy everything.
Even with Jason, Cass, he was still learning the ropes and was scared of screwing up. With, Tim, Steph, Duke, and Damian he had a bit more experience and was a bit more confident but he still doubted himself, so, so much.
Bruce did screw up sometimes. And he mentally beat himself up over it so many times. So, so many times. Tore out his hair. punched and punched and punched. Had countless sleepless nights, even after he's forgiven because deep down he'll never forgive himself.
Bruce wasn't an A+ parent as far as he saw it and he was so focused on the times he screwed up he forgot how he did better than some of the kids' bio parents.
Better than Willis Todd. Better than Arthur Brown. Better than David Cain. Better than the Drakes'.
Bruce gave up a lot for the kids whether he knows it or not.
And he was a freaking teendad.
It takes a while for the kids to realize this. Dick is the first, through small things until one day he's thinking and it hits him.
Jason is arguing with Bruce one day and sees the look in his dad's eyes. The guilt. At first he's glad to know that Bruce does regret the events in Ethiopia. Then he sees Bruce later, sitting with his head in his hands. And starts thinking. Notices the bruises across Bruce's knuckles and the battered punching bag he saw earlier.
Babs always knew. As does Cass.
Tim and Steph realize gradually over time and so does Duke. Damian gets it explained to him by Dick and Jason once he's older.
They let the man know that they're not mad (anymore, for some of them).
Because deep down, they know Bruce did his best even when he had no idea what he was doing.
One time with the Outlaws, Red Hood is helping with a hostage situation and as he helps a young man out of a holding cell, he goes 'geez how old are ya, kid?' and gets a weak '21' in reply.
At first Jason doesn't think much of it, other than how young the guy seems. More teen than adult.
Then he realizes as they finish the mission and spends ten minutes staring into the aether.
'Wasn't Dad 21 when he took Dick in?'