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Happy Birthday to Ten 🐱🎂💚

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I'm kinda curious- what does it feel like/what goes through your mind when you read a story you wrote (especially one you completed a few years ago)?😊

I don't know if I can adequately capture all the thoughts and feelings that go with re-reading past work.

It's been almost ten years since I first wrote Ten Days (good lord). When I read it over, I'm often remembering the things that I changed in drafting that readers never saw but that still stick in my mind as ways the story could have gone and almost did. Sometimes, I admit, I'm impressed that the story came together the way it did, or that certain clues were laid or certain themes developed the way they did.

It's hard for me to see past work only as a finished product, or to experience it the way a new reader might, because I see all the flaws, all the edits, all the pieces that never made it in, all the bad ideas that I'm glad I scrapped, all the mess. Other times, I'm staggered by how dark the stories sometimes got, when really I'm quite a happy person; or amused by how funny Sherlock can be, when I think of it as his sense of humour and not my own; or ponderous about a worldview that comes out that I didn't know existed in me.

A story is a curious thing. It's me, and it's not me. It's yours, and I can't reclaim it. It's so big in my mind, and so small in the world. I can't hold it all, and it's all inside of me at the same time.

It's a complicated relationship.

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